SPOILERS: This takes place after Angel loses his soul but before Becoming, which never happened in my 'verse. I will keep and discard Buffy lore as I see fit.

Part 9

Willow stood in the foyer for awhile, pushing aside the heavy velvet drapes so she could watch Adrian out the window. He stood for awhile, starring at the door looking stricken and melancholy, like an eager puppy that had been kicked in the ribs by it’s master. Willow’s heart constricted when Adrian stared at the house, his eyes haunted and shattered. She almost went to him but an inner strength she hadn’t known she had helped her hold her ground. It didn’t, however, keep the tears from falling. Willow was being torn in two. She couldn’t help but be cliché and imagine how she would have laughed, a mere eight months ago, if someone had told her she would one day find herself falling in love with a gorgeous, courageous, perfect guy who felt the same way for her, while simultaneously nursing a demonic attraction to Angelus.

Willow stayed at the window long after Adrian drove away, her sobs racking her small body. How long, Willow wasn’t quite sure, but eventually Lydia found her. Thankfully, Willow’s tears had long since dried. It was one less thing to explain to Lydia. Willow hated it but the recent events in her life were taking their emotional toll on her, and a direct result was her continuing withdrawal from her closest friend.

"Willow, is everything all right?"

Willow plastered a bright smile on her face for Lydia’s benefit. ‘of course, why wouldn’t it be?"

Lydia smiled, obviously relieved. "I’m glad to hear it. How was lunch?"

"It was good. I had fun." At least it wasn’t a total lie. Willow had been having fun for most of the afternoon.

"Lovely. So how do you feel about performing the protection ritual. I’ve gotten everything we need."

The truth was, Willow wasn’t feeling incredibly eager to begin the ritual, but it wasn’t exactly a feeling she could explain to Lydia. Willow wanted to be able to feel safe again, but deep down she knew that would never again be possible. Especially since part of her looked forward to her sleeping moments with Angelus.

Willow kept those feelings to herself. ‘All right, let’s do it."
 
 

In the days following their kiss, Adrian and Willow avoided each other. Willow did it because she couldn’t stand to see the unvoiced sadness and longing in Adrian’s eyes, nor feel its counterpart in her own heart.

As for the ritual, the whole procedure lasted about an hour and, as evidenced by her undisturbed and peaceful, albeit lonely sleep of the past few nights, Willow deemed the spell a success.

One morning later that week, Lydia entered the main library of the watcher’s headquarters to find Willow casually flipping through her high school’s orientation guidebook, which had just arrived in the mail the previous day. Willow spoke without looking up from the catalogue. "Did you know they offer classes in ancient mythology and folklore, and C++ programming. They even have film classes. I thought they only had those kinds of classes in college. Xander loves movies- he was always making me watch old movies at his house. He’d love a class like that. Maybe I should take it and broaden my horizons. I mean, I am trying to begin a new life, right."

"Willow." Lydia quietly interrupted Willow’s babbling. Looking up, Willow saw she wasn’t alone. Neil was with her, but also John Doyle and Sebastian Chabrol, two Watcher’s high in the Council ranks. One look at their expressions informed Willow that something was wrong. Judging by the tears brimming from Lydia’s eyelids, very wrong.

Lydia, apparently too choked up to speak, gestured to Neil. The sympathy, evident on his face as he took a seat in the armchair besides hers, chilled Willow to the bone.

He placed a comforting hand over Willow’s as he spoke. ‘I’m so sorry Willow. We just received some news from Sunnydale. It’s about your parents. They’ve been murdered."

Willow supposed she was in some form of shock because, though Neil kept talking, Willow didn’t consciously hear another word he said. Sometime later Lydia was speaking, but Willow didn’t hear her either. She just stared straight ahead, her eyes cast with a distant shroud of pain. Willow was looking backwards, remembering the time when she was eight and her father took her to the horse farm just south of Sunnydale. She could remember every instant of that day because it had been one of the happiest of her young life. She had been daddy’s little girl, and though he wasn’t always around as often as she would have liked, when he was he dotted on her. And now he was gone, but Willow couldn’t really comprehend that. Her mind refused to process the information but instead opted to replay that day with the horses, over and over like a recorder programmed on an endless, repetitive loop.

Somehow Willow had been moved into the conference room, and still the tears wouldn’t come. Somewhere in the back of Willow’s mind she noted that she hadn’t cried nor spoken for hours, but the hours seemed to pass like minutes. Lydia was saying something about protecting Willow from Angelus. It was Angelus who had done this, apparently a result of his realizing that he could no longer get to Willow. The knowledge had sent him into rage, a consequence the Council had failed to count on. Willow took in all the information, but she couldn’t process it. All she could see was the green grass of the California countryside and the black satin mane of the horse she had been riding.

Cool, slim fingers on her arm broke through the fog in Willow’s mind. Willow’s own sad, green eyes locked on to sympathetic blue ones. Kneeling in front of Willow’s chair, Adrian moved his hands up to her shoulders, his firm grip comforting Willow. Feeling safe for the first time that day, Willow was finally able to indulge herself in the emotional breakdown that had been hovering just below her consciousness all day. Sobbing hysterically, Willow threw herself into Adrian’s embrace, burying her face in the soft fabric of his shirt. She clung to him with all her might, reduced to a quivering mass of tears, babbling incoherently as she soaked his shirt with her tears. Adrian allowed her this breakdown, holding on to her as he whispered soothing words, giving her comfort by being there for her.
 
 

When Willow wouldn’t calm down after a good half-hour of clinging to Adrian, Lydia suggested Willow be taken home. Adrian insisted on accompanying her, though no one had even thought of protesting since Willow refused to let go of Adrian. She kept her arms firmly wrapped around is waist and her face buried in to his chest. Swinging her into his arms, Adrian carried Willow out to Lydia’s car, who graciously sat up front with Roger so Adrian could pillow Willow in his lap.

During the drive home, Willow’s tears slowly subsided until the gentle lull of the car’s motion and the soothing feel of Adrian’s fingers stroking her hair led Willow into a deep sleep.

When Willow finally awoke, night had fallen and she was in her own bed, cradled in the recesses of Adrian’s arms. Nothing had ever been as comforting as the feel of Adrian’s arms wrapped around her. His whole body was strong and reassuring to her, a pillar of strength she could hold on to.

Turning her face towards his, Willow found he was awake and watching her quietly. They stared at each other for awhile, not saying anything. Willow wasn’t quite sure who made the first move, and it didn’t really matter. Suddenly they were kissing, their lips moving expertly together as if this wasn’t only their second kiss but one of a thousand. She knew Adrian, deep in her soul knew him. He was familiar, but at the same time every moment with him was a discovery. Willow wasn’t quite sure what it meant, and she didn’t care. Right now all that mattered was the feeling of Adrian’s lips and body against hers. Being close to him filled the emptiness inside her, made her begin to feel almost complete again.

Adrian was the first to break away. His lips grazed her forehead as he whispered, "I love you, Willow."

Tired of denying what she was feeling, Willow admitted, "I love you too."

They kissed for awhile longer until Adrian reluctantly pulled away and suggested they find Lydia, who was very worried about Willow. The mention of Lydia reminded Willow once again of her parents. She’d been able to block out the memory while with Adrian, instead focusing all her energy and emotion on her newfound love. Now there was no ignoring it. Her parents were dead, by Angelus’ hands, and now the threat of Angelus coming after Willow was guaranteed. Something had to be done before Willow lived to regret it. <Or not live… cause we all know what Angelus is capable of. >

Stopping off the splash some cold water on her face, Willow followed Adrian downstairs, where they found Lydia in her study. She and Neil were sitting at the small conference table, papers and photographs concealing the wooden tabletop beneath it. They were bent over a stack of glossy photographs when Willow and Adrian entered the room. Immediately, Lydia stood and hurries over to embrace Willow.

"Oh darling, I’m so, so sorry. How are you holding up?"

Willow breathed in the strong, commanding scent of Lydia’s perfume as the Watcher held her close. It was a nice scent, and languishing her attention on such small, insignificant details would allow enough distraction to keep her sane.

Willow considered her answer and opted for honesty. She’d kept so many of her feelings secret recently, she felt Lydia deserved the truth. "I’m devastated, Lydia. I never thought it would feel this way. I mean, I know my parents weren’t the most involved. Well, my dad tried, even though his career made it hard, but my mom just never seemed to put much effort in getting to know her own daughter. Still, they loved me. I know that. And I loved them so much. I just can’t believe they’re gone. It’s like there’s this hole inside me now, and it’s never going to go away no matter what I do to try and fill it. But right now we need to move on and plan what we’re going to do next. I’m ready for that."

Lydia nodded, her eyes filled with the grim understanding of someone who’s been through the same fire you’re going through. Willow had seen the same look in Adrian’s eyes earlier, and she saw a shadow of it in Neil’s. It came with being part of a worldwide club who knew the secret- that life was an unfair game and people were sometimes taken out of it before you were ready for them to go.

After a moment of silence, Lydia walked back to the table where she resumed her seat among the mountain of papers. There were things to be done, so the pain would have to be stored away in the name of practicality and self-preservation. Willow had already accepted this fact. Instinctively, Willow extended her hand behind her and felt a surge of strength when Adrian took hold of it. They followed and took their seats across from Lydia and Neil. The latter was starring at her, perhaps noticing the fierce determination shrouding her emerald eyes, and his respect and admiration was obvious. "You’re quite a woman, Willow. I just want you to know that."

Willow felt a surge of pleasure at the compliment, and the smile on her face was genuine. "Thank you."

Neil smiled back, then glanced at Adrian before reaching for a stack of photographs. Neither Lydia nor Neil said anything about Adrian’s presence, which made Willow wonder at how much they knew about their relationship. It was still so new to Willow, yet how much did other people realize her dependency on him.

Willow’s wandering thoughts were reined in by the content of the photographs on the table. She reached for one and drew in a sharp of breath of surprise. Willow used the hand holding the photograph to gesture to Lydia. "What’s the meaning of this?"

"Angelus took them Willow. Buffy found them in his room at the mansion, or, more accurately, plastered all over the walls of his room. All of these photos, actually. Buffy went to the mansion early this morning but Angelus had already skipped town. All that was left were these photos, a sort of makeshift shrine."

Willow flipped through photo after photo of the same subject- her. "How did you get these so fast."

"Well, these are copies, obviously. I had someone in Sunnydale scan them and email them here where we reprinted them this afternoon."

Willow looked at Lydia skeptically, "Giles didn’t do it." It wasn’t a question, merely a statement of fact.

Lydia couldn’t help but laugh. "Of course not, I sent computer specialists in to handle the situation. Once Buffy told me what she had found I wasted no time in getting all the information documented and sent here. There’s quite literally no time to spare since we can’t pinpoint when exactly Angelus left Sunnydale. All we have is a wide time frame of sunset last night, which is when he visited your parents, Willow couldn’t help but wince at Lydia’s wording and wondered if she’d be receiving a similar visit sometime soon, "and around sunrise this morning when Buffy discovered he was gone. Now, worst case scenario: Angelus left Sunnydale in the very early evening yesterday and is already well into his second night of travelling to England. In the best case scenario, he didn’t leave Sunnydale until much later in the evening and still has some ways to go until he arrives here. Either way you look at it, Angelus is on his way to see Willow, but the more time we have on our side before that happens, the better."

Willow nodded absently. She was still looking through the many, many photos of her. The first pile she had looked through were ones taken during her captivity in Angelus’ special prison. She had never even imagined photos from that time existed, but there they were, in revealing black and white. Shots of Willow, spread eagle on the bed as Angelus stood before her, his hands roaming over every inch of her body. Shots of Angelus, lying on top of Willow with his fangs buried to the hilt in her neck. Shots of Willow, alone and crying, the tears causing strands of hair to stick to her cheeks. There were even photos of Willow on her knees, grabbing Angelus as he turned to leave. Willow’s cheeks turned bright red at the thought of Lydia and Neil, not to mention Adrian, seeing such private and degrading moments of Willow’s life, but she shoved them aside, her fear having a much firmer hold on her than her embarrassment.

The other photos were even more shocking. There were photos of Willow before she had been captured by Angelus, of her life in Sunnydale, which made her realize he had been planning her abduction for a long time. There were scenes from school, sitting in class, at the Bronze, in the library. A couple of photos of her in her bedroom, changing for bed, were mixed in.

Another pile contained photos from Willow’s life in London. Willow recognized events from months back. There were day and evening shots, which meant the pictures had been taken by a human. Most probably some unsuspecting detective who’s been paid a ton of money to follow around a teenage girl. He’d probably assumed she was a runaway. Willow’s heart skipped a beat when she caught sight of the latest photos. They were pictures of her and Adrian, seated at the outdoor café. Adrian leaning forward to whisper something in Willow’s ear. Willow with her head thrown back in laughter. Then, two figures on the front porch of the house, their bodies melded together. Her red hair made her unmistakable in the picture, even though her face was obscured. In those pictures, black magic marker defaced the photo. Angelus had all but obliterated Adrian’s image from most of those photos. It was as if Willow was kissing a black hole. In some, Adrian was visible through the huge black X marking his figure. The markings gave the photos a life of their own. They were suffused with Angelus’ hatred and jealousy. Just looking at them, and what he had done to the image of Adrian, chilled Willow to the core.

Adrian stared at the pictures, his face a mask of fury over the photos, concrete evidence of the total invasion of Willow’s private domain. When he saw the photos of their kiss his expression didn’t change. There was no fear, which Willow supposed some would consider foolish, but Willow found it incredibly brave and romantic. Adrian’s main concern was for her. She knew how hard it would be for him to protect her from Angelus, but his eyes told her he would die trying. In that moment, her love for him expanded to fill her entire heart.

Lydia patiently waited for Willow to look through all the photos. When she was finished, Lydia continued speaking. "Buffy said the besides these photos, Angelus had some of your belongings on a dresser top. There were also some occult supplies Buffy couldn’t identify, but she did recognize them as ingredients that would be used in a spell. Giles is working on identifying the materials. It’s obvious they were used in spells relating to you, though."

A mental image took hold of Willow. Angelus, standing before his makeshift alter as he stared at her photos, creating scenes in his mind of their inevitable reunion as he worked magic to bring that day closer and closer. The scene was straight out of a made for TV movie of the week made to warn single girls about the dangers of getting involved with strange men. A Stalker’s Obsession: The Willow Rosenberg Story. Willow bit back a hysterical giggle.

"Needless to say, we think it’s imperative you leave London as soon as possible, Willow. Tonight even."

Willow frowned. She knew it was what had to be done, but she had no idea where she was going to go. Would it even matter? If Angelus was this obsessed with her he was going to find her wherever she went.

Neil seemed to read her mind. "We know it’ll be hard to find a place that’s safe for you, but I’ve already contacted some people I know in Italy. We already have a residence for you. It is quite well hidden, deep in the countryside of Italy, just north of Venice. The people who reside in the town will not give you away, and there is absolutely no vampire activity there. To guarantee your safety, Lydia and I have discussed providing you with a watcher, and under the circumstances, we think it would be best if that Watcher was Adrian."

Adrian appeared startled. "You want me to be Willow’s Watcher?"

Neil nodded. "I know you are still in training, but that is merely a technicality. You were more than ready to be a watcher when you were only 13. You know as well as I do that you are more than capable of fulfilling the duty."

Lydia interrupted quickly, "Besides, how could we separate two people so obviously in love as you two." She winked at Willow, and the two women shared smiles. "Now, as long as everything’s settled, we’d like to get you two packed and on a plane before morning. All the arrangements have been made. I’d say if there are no other questions we might as well go pack."

Saddened at the prospect of leaving, but nonetheless aware that it was necessary, Willow nodded her agreement. Adrian said nothing, and Willow knew it was because, in his mind, there was no question as to where he was going. He would remain at Willow’s side for as long as she wanted him, perhaps long after that. The four discussed some last minute details, then slowly rose and went their separate ways to prepare for Adrian and Willow’s journey.