SUBJECT:      HINNY HAIR RESTRICTIONS

It has come to our attention that certain employees have a hair across their ass. Because of the friction this excessive growth creates, we feel that it is a probable safety hazard, and there by affects us all.   It also restricts the reaming that a supervisor can administer to an employee, there by disrupting normal operating procedure.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
All employees will be required to shave their buttocks.   Guards will be checking on a daily basis all employees coming into the Mill to make sure all derriere are clean shaven.

Any employee refusing to shave will be in violation of OSHA laws, and of this work rule, and shall be punished severely, up to, and exceeding denial of their lunch break.

Management

© Sunnie Anus 1997