P O
IN ANOTHER NOMENCLATURE:
Famous Poet
PO is one of Australia's foremost "performance poets". He is also one of its most compelling and innovative page-poets. I say this with some authority because I have read almost everything he has published, as well as performed with him at hundreds of readings over the past twenty-five years.
PO was born in Greece, but came to Australia when he was still a young boy. He grew up in the Melbourne suburb of Fitzroy, where his father owned and operated a fish'n'chip shop. Alot of PO's poetry is about life in Fitzroy, a suburb rich in voices - Greek, Lebanese, Turkish and Ocker Aussie!
PO is the author of numerous books, including Street Singe, Humble P, Panash, and 24 Hours, an epic 780-page tome that chronicles 24-hours in the life of Fitzroy. He is also the editor of the "cult" anthology, Off The Page [Penguin Books, 1984], which features the best performance poets in Australia.
This page is still under construction, but some of PO's shorter poems are already featured. Have a read and see if you don't think of him as I do - a true master of the voice, and a great poet.
- Billy Marshall Stoneking
SELECTED POEMS
MEMO:
a Bomb threat
will inevitably come as
a shock.
If you receive one ( Don't let on ! )
Keep the caller talking;
Ask him (or
her!) when the bomb
will explode; where it is;
what it looks like;
And what will c a u s e it to explode;
Ask the caller
their name; And how old they are;
Take particular notice
of their accent:
Israeli-German, Spanish-Russian;
And their tone:
Angry, drunk, calm, excited,.........
If you happen to know
who they are don't let on
Don't blurt-out: "Hey! That you? Bob!"
...just keep 'em talking;
Listen to
background noise: a train-whistle
could be a vital clue.
When the caller
has finished: Don't hang up!
Keep calm; And write
in clear legible script:
"WE'RE GOING TO BE BOMBED!!!!!!!"
and then hand it
to your Supervisor (:He'll know
what to do);
If the ORDER to evacuate
is not given
open all the doors and windows (to lessen
the effect on property damage)
and then go back
to your desk and keep
working.
Untitled
i?ve studied the situation:
i?m not sure we can win:
i went to the ?Australian Bureau of Statistics?
& asked them for:
?one of everything?:
i got
how many umbrellas they made
how many pickled onions
how many:
Dams
Deaths
Debts
Doctors
Doors
Drivers
Ducks
there is, are, was
Gas
Gates
Geese
Gherkins
it was all there
for the asking
then i read:
52,100 people were depressed
17% said they couldn?t breathe
65,400 people said they had headaches
there were
146,100 ?family arguments?
and they reported into work
?sick?
black eyes, broken noses, husbands, lovers, friends?
(including: food poisoning)
accounted for 6%
& then i read:
- if a woman ran into the street
& started firing into a crowd, there?d be
21 men shooting back
- if a dago-wog-bastard-jew ran into the street
& started firing into a crowd, there?d be
7 ?ocker-aussie-wasps?
shooting back
- & if someone who didn?t have a job
ran into the street & started firing into a crowd
there?d be 49 people with bank books
shooting back.
Everything Poem
I.
- For Karen
Lets
go to
that part
of the
brain
controlling
speech
(discovered in 1852)
and
OPEN
it
like
David Brewster did
(in 1816)
when
he invented
the
KALEIDOSCOPE
Hey!
down that glass!
hold that snitzel!
drop that jug!
unhand that woman!
freeze that punch!
this'll
just take a moment
(a
"moment"
in the ol' anglo-saxon
unit of time
"a
fuckin' minute
&
a
½"
!)
... so
stick aroun'
you?ll see:
raffle tickets
go down the plughole
3 corkscrews
surrender
the radio
being handcuffed
an inkbottle
with leukemia
a magnet
kissing a hotplate
and a thermometer
after affection
no need to "Oo+ah!":
the
1st Exclamation mark
(!)
appeared
out of the blue
in 1553
&
34 years later
got bent into
a Question mark
(?)
... and
for Chris'-'sake
don't ask me
where i'm
going
all i know for sure
is that:
"the
central nervous-system
transmits images to the brain
at
265mph"
... so
HOLD ON TO THE RAILS!
where we're going
the size and weight of your brain
won't matter:
an
elephant's got more brains
than we have
&
a dolphin's
got more wrinkles
: Janis
Joplin's brain weighed in at
51 oz.
&
Walt Whitman's at
45
... so
what's
an I.Q. or 2
or 3 or 4 or 5 between
friends?
Having
a GREAT brain in fact
can be a
decidedly dangerous
thing
they
sliced poor COMRADE Lenin's brain up
into
31,000
separate pieces
and began prodding
and probing
looking for
a word
of Das Kapital
perhaps
(Who knows?):
when they were thru
they
plop!
ped!
it!
in-
to
al;
c;
a
h
o
l
.
abracadabra
(it seems)
was a Syrian
God
... so
come as you are!
NO I.Q. NECESSARY
(repeat:)
NO I.Q. NECESSARY
i
don?t care
HOW dumb
you
are!
only
1%
of the population
has an
I.Q.
over 140
&
the brainiest bastard of the lot
is a
4 year ol':
KIM UNG-YONG
(of Seoul)
who
does Calculus
for a joke
speaks
4 languages
and can
write
poetry that
rymes
(Hope he chokes on an anecdote)
(He's
probably the bastard they?ll
get to
press the button
on the World)
... it?s
no "accident"
that the 1st
I.Q. Test
was invented
by Charles Darwin?s cousin: Francis Galton
in 1882
when he got
a lot of
baboons + ning-nongs
to guess
the weight
of rocks
Work-out the difference between
2 different sounds
and,
for his:
tour de force
How long
it took ?em to react to ?ouch!-
a pin-
prick
for my liking
you can come as you are!
I hate
theories that
tell people
How dumb
they are :
Eye-sink, You-sink,
and Jensen
_______________________________
if
you?re reading this
the only thing
you?ll need
(from here on... end)
are
a couple?a strips?a raw bacon
to use as
bookmarks
__________________________________
The Visual Poetry of PO
Terribleness - an essay by Pi O
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