Dialogue between a Feminist and a Man

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        FEMINIST:     I demand equality.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Harvard must go coed, not Wellesley.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     And circumcised girls must be called "genitally
mutilated," while circumcised boys remain..."normal."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     After sex, I get three choices (birth, abortion, or
adoption). You get none.
        MAN:             Okay

        FEMINIST:     I can kill your child,  or make you pay for 25 years,
or give it away.
        MAN:             Okay

        FEMINIST:     I can join the army and never fight.
        MAN:             Okay

        FEMINIST:     I can wear what I want, but you can't look at what you
want.
        MAN:             Okay

        FEMINIST:     I'm rough and tough, but can sue for name-calling.
        MAN:             Okay

        FEMINIST:     I can come in 70th in a Marathon and still get
first-place prizes.
        MAN:             Okay

        FEMINIST:     I want to technically make divorce no-fault...
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     ...but actually blame you.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I want all the benefits of marriage post-divorce, not
the burdens.  You must keep all burdens and lose all benefits.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     If I say you made booga-booga eyes at me, I get to
call the cops and have you arrested.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Arrested, you become a "batterer" and I can kick you
out of our home.  I also get temporary custody of your kids.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     If I have a restraining order, and you call me, I can
call it "stalking."  You'll be jailed.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     At permanent custody hearings, I can bring up your
"abuse" record and keep the kids, car, cash, and castle.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I can kill you and say you provoked me. You can't lay
a hand on me since "There's NEVER an excuse to hit  a woman."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Men who beat women will suffer harsh Federal
punishments and public censure.  Women - who start better than half of all
domestic fights with men and cause most abuse/neglect of children and the
elderly - will be called "nurturers" and "care-givers."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Divorce will cost you big bucks.  I'll get free help
from the state, and wimmin's advocates, and even make you pay my legal
bills.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I get  the kids, 'cuz I spent more time raising  them.
You don't keep the cash, though you spent more time earning it.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I'm a mommy, you're a money-mule.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I  get  to go back to school, or stay at home. You
must work.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I get to track your earnings. You can't track my
parenting.  In fact, you can't see your kids school records without my
say-so.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:    You must make up for my lost career momentum.  I don't
have to make up for your lost time with the kids.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:    You have to pay child-support (CS) to me.  I don't have
to tell you how I spend it or if I use it on myself.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:    Your CS orders will be higher than if we were still
married, being based on Lenore Walker's cooked statistics.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I get to have "space" and to "find" myself.  Judges
will make you stay at lousy jobs.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I get 25 per cent of your gross income for Jimmy.
Make more, I get more.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     After divorce, I can "train" or go to college instead
of getting a job. You have to work.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I get to move the kids out of state without your
permission.  You can't budge without mine.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     "Family" now means "women and children."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Birthing slatterns will now  be called "single
mommies," their chosen sex partners "predators."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     States and feds will enforce my child-support rights -
for free.  You must pay to " try" to enforce your visitation rights.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I don't have to make up denied visitation to you. You
must pay all missed CS payments to me, with interest.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I can call you a "deadbeat dad." You can't call me a
"welfare queen."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Welfare mothers can't be forced to name abusive
fathers since ALL fathers are now "abusive."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     The tax office can dog you on the Internet for CS.  My
privacy is sacred, my rights endless.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     CS agents can hunt you like a fugitive slave,  making
you register with employers like an apartheid black.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     Whales matter now, not males.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     In cultural coin tosses, it's "heads I win, tails you
lose."
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     I can keep expanding my perks and punishing you.
        MAN:             Okay.

        FEMINIST:     If you want me to bobbittize you, say "Okay."
        MAN:             Okay.
          -Source unknown