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(Total activity, all pages, all sites, in page reloads, since 9/21/2000)
a woman in manhattan found me in AOL.. she was formerly greek orthodox christian (like I was)... but wants to be Hindu...
so she likes to read my web site...because.. we were both greek orthodox
one day.. several years ago.. I was in special bookstore in Manhattan
east/west books and I saw a man looking at books on Ramakrishna
well I hear him mention something about Russian Orthodox.. so I questioned him.. and it turns out HE WAS IN SAME russian monastery I was in in up-state New York in 1970... but I was there in 1975
there are a certain number of former greek russian orthodox.. who become attracted to Hinduism.. or buddhism..
there are so many former Jews who become attracted to Buddhism.. that there is a book written by a Rabbi called.. "The Jew in the lotus"
instead of Jewel in Lotus....
it is a serious book about how and why jews become attracted to buddhism... but each relgion has a mystical branch for jews .. it is the kaballah.. for muslims.. it is sufi.. with whirling dervishes (a spiritual dance)
(shiv12345: OM.. do you know the importance of word AUM..)
.. yes.. I imagine I do...but of course.. there may be something I do nt not know....
AUM.. other way in english than OM...
show how it contains all vowel sounds....
(siv12345: will you tell me as I also know one of what I heard in Upanisads...)
so potentially contains all possible sacred scriptures...
Lork Krsna says in Gita.. of sacred syllables.. I am the OM kara...
also primordial sound of creation of universe...
also one sees.. Brahma Vishnu Siva in A U M...
but also. when OM chated. there is silence.. in between repetitions...
silence is period between existences of universe...
of course... for Vaishnavs of Gaudiya Math.. the Mahamantra.. ...Hare Krsna Hare Rama.. is so central..equivalent or surpassing AUM.... and they say that it is an Avataric Manifestation of the Lord on the tongue.. just like Lord Krsna dancing on the head of serpant Kaliya...
(do you know of Chinmayananda missions)
I am familiar with Chinmayananda books..
yes... I have a book about Gurus..writen by an Indian who (I think became Roman Catholic... or perhaps was raised Catholic)... but his last chapter is in praise of the minority of legitimate (good) gurus.. and he takes Chinmayananda as an example..
that is how I first learned.. then I saw interview with Chinmayananda in Ramanand Sagar's television series, The Ramayan... episode..
then.. in old used bookstore.. found book from India reprinting Chinmayanandas newpaper columns on religion
in the book concerning Gurus (by indian catholic scholar) the chapter on Chinmayananda had photo fo Murti of Lord Shiva.. but in the caption it said.. "The image is fore those of weaker faith .. till they will progress to knowledge of Nirguna.."
but I am not as fond of such viewpoints...
... and although I like Kabir.. I do not enjoy his verses which speak against Murti or Pooja...
although I understand such positions and viewpoints
..... but I follow more .. lean more towards Tulsidas
...as do most Guyanese..
,..and also the Gaudiya Math.. Vaishnavs...
that Moorty worship is important... you know.. one american.. who read my website.. emailed me a letter of feedback.
and in that letter...
of course. he had read page 1 which has my "dream of bhagwan described...
he said something interesting.. he said that HIS Guru had taught him
that it is THROUGH KNOWLEDGE and association of SAGUNA Brahman personality.. that one is granted knowledge of Nirguna Brahman...
not I had never heard a statement quite like this....
but I think.. if you will again pardon my analogy of yesterdy about
intimacy... with God.. being like BEDROOM...
you might introduce, for example, me to your wife.. and tell me her name.. and I see her face...
but if I then inquire such detals .. intimate details.. as.. well when you are alone... do you do this or that... are you on top.. is she on top... it is similar to details about Saguna ..Nirguna.. Japa.. Jnana.. Yajna.. etc.. you see analogy...
I am not addressing my statement to you now... but.. that book saying "Oh, the Shiva moorty is LOWER.. for those who still need Saguna.. less advanced....
but then book was written by a convert to western relgion who wants to a apologize for Moorty worship...
so such remarks are understandable...
so Guyana is very much influenced by Tulsidas..as seems to me.. tries to make scriptures available to common people... by writing in Hindi... not sanskrit (Valmiki.. original Ramayan)
and tries to make worship democratic.. even Shabari... female.. out-of-caste..
even bird Jatayu... even Rakshasa brother of Ravanna, Vibishan
...through Bhakti... all are granted association.. intimacy...
and through Sangha and Katah of the Lord's Divine Lilas.. even Kag Bhushundi the crow... can heal or cure the doubt of the Mount of Lord Vishnu.. Garuda..the Eagle... who had seen Lord Ram succumb in bondage to the serpent weapon...
well.. simply that devotion can be for all
not just for certain caste.. or for male only...
and also message of fundamental unity of saguna/nirguna.. Lord Ram worships Lor Shiva as Ishta.. Lord Shiva sings Ramayan to Mother Parvati...
now.. if one compares Tulsidas spirituality and teaching with Lord Chaitanya Sampradaya.. or Vallabhacharya...
(but WE ARE GETTING OFF TRACK)
let me explain someting which you dont understand...
periodically you ask me certain questions.. which have no meaning for me... questions which I do not engage in... and if I tried.. it would be counter productive to Bhava.. I will explain....
I suspect you are influenced to ask such questions...
because of western influences...
Ramakrishna once said.. There is a beautiful garden of mango trees
with ripe mangos... VERY SWEET.....
the westerner enters the mango grove....
he has calculator and note book and ruler and scale
he measures each tree...
he counts the trees.. he tests the soil..
he looks at the history of rainfall... and he estimates the future production of mangos for next 10 yrs....
but Ramakrishna says... "I just come , and lay back against a tree trunk.. and gaze at sky.. and eat sweet mangos...."
this story of Ramakrishna is very important .. very instructive...
can you see that .. my life.. my dream.. my moods. are the mango which has been given to me?
but when you ask me..."so how does your mango taste?".. "what does it do in your stomach..?" ..."shouldnt it be vitamin enriched?"
well... what can I say.. it is totally subjective.. it is MY mango.. even if I wanted... I cannot truly share that subjective experience.. end if I try too hard.... I have stopped eating my Mango for that interval of time....
does this make sense..??
to even use the words "on track.. off track." is pullling out the ruler.. and the calculator in the mango grove...
if you ask me a question.. my response is my answer.. I am happy to try to respond..
but just as when they ask Ghandi... (not to imply that I am equal to Ghandi).. but they ask "what is your message to future generations..? "and he answered with a surprised look "MY LIFE is my message"
do you see how very subjective Ghandiji was being...
but the reporter was very "western" and analytical...
so even.. what I am expressing here with story of mango grove.. and Ghandi.. that is me.. me now.. it is neither right nor wrong..
neither on track nor off track...
the desire for Moksha (Liberation, Salvation) is IN ITESLF.. an impediment to Liberation...
a useful saying which I encountered
the west is filled with ruler-calculator desire...
yes.. simply I am explaining that.. hmmm. I will tell you that yesterday.. someone comments to me.. "oh your website must be better organized"
but the comment makes me think... the webpages.. mirror REALITY moment ot moment experience of consciousness
so we may ask ourselves.. IS REALITY ORGANIZED... or is UNIVERSE ORGANIZED CORRECTLY?
well. you see. reality.. universe.. consciousness.. is what it is... for each of us.. subjectively.. and perhaps that differs for each of us....
for us .. in a sense.. the very concept of organization ...order.. is Maya.. Illusion...
so .. the conversations.. in the website.. snapshots captured with cut and paste
even that is a degree of order which is abstracted.. and one step removed from Reality.. and therefore the beginnings of Maya... ...
as that famous prayer of Shankaracharya "O Thou from whom all words recoil bounce off so the moment there is speech.. it becomes inadequate.. and limiting
I have heard about a scripture falled Anugita.. in which Arjuna returns to Lord Krsna and says O lord krsna.. my experience with You that day on the battle field.. my spiritualized vision.. of your Satsvarupa
now grows dim... cloudy.. distant.. such KRIPA.. such grace to see Your Universal Form... and even though I could not endure that vision.. and begged you to return to your four armed form... yet.. what I yearn for and desire.. is the UNENDING.. constantly fresh experience.. BLISS ananda... as I quote on page 2 in my website.. words of Meher Baba... actualy very useful words and description of this phenomenon...
we each have Fleeting moments insights but we seek to make them CONSTANT AND UNENDING.. ABIDING.. eternally abiding within the fleeting temporal..
...the westerner asks... does God exist.. but the easterner say.. Existance and non-being flow forth from the smallest finger of my lords left hand
does this make sense for you does thi help you to understand me somewhat
(yes I see that you have original thoughts and you are the candidate...)
so... I am back.. finished typing... our whole conversation about mango groves... chinmayananda..west verses east...
such converstaions are important to capture for website...
and such conversations only take place inchat in response to questions situations... one cannot sit by onself easily and think up "oh I should say this now i should say that... well. perhaps Plato could do it but not me...
(but you become difficult when you are asked questions) well. it is also important that YOU recognize.. what answers ARE... you see.. the fellow who said "the web site ust be more organized"... (tell me one thing how you can judge another person)
...he has a werstern though... "give me a smart pill.. forget about details
..just get to nitty-gritty)... this is the western maner today... namely.. in bookstore.. there are hundreds of books entitled internet for dummies... programming for dummies.. even sex for dummies and wine tasting for dummies....
(are you still there..)
you see.. you are impatient.. and lack faith...our PM chat has worked for hours now.. but you keep asking ARE YOU THERE....
SO YOU HAVE NO FAITH THAT PM CHAT KEEPS WORKING.. AND YOU HAVE NO PATIENCE.. BUT WANT QUIck answers and responses and even as we chat.. you look about for someone else to chat with on the side
(I will get bored waiting as I only talk to you)...
I am making observation simply.. but you see. by your own words
you express your true nature...
you are easily bored...
and even while you are chatting with me.. you arelooking around to see who else might be there...
this is neither bad nor good.. it is simply your nature at this moment in your life... at this stage of your life...
(its not that om or I would not take to you)
no... but it is essential for you to utilize me as a MIRROR.. so you may behold yourself as you are at this stageof your life...
just.. as I use you as a mirror.. to generate and capture my next web page...
I cannot see myself.. with my eyes I can only see myself with your eyes.. but not as YOU think that you see me... but as I SEE you seeing me...
(om just a question ho u canknow who I am or what understanding I have or how much I know)...
well. you see.. it is you who understandably have hard felings
but .. what I see.. I see... if I see something.. I do not have to see all... i see your impatience... so perhaps I do not know your childhood.. or your schooling... or your diet.... but... I have seen your impatience
(om I do not keep hard feelings with anyone... shivaham shivoham)
you see.. if I tll you that I have seen God.. your reaction is "wouldnt you make more progress with a Guru..." do you understand the implications of that??
you see.. we are coming back around to Ramakrishna's useful metaphor of the Mango Grove...
but.. look at the west.. if someone plays a beautiful violin solo... the audience asks to see the diploma from the Juliard School of Music...
you see... I am in this life... in this body.. having these experienced ..in this place ... at this time.... so.. should I pull out the calculator.. and the compass..
and the ruler.. and scale.. and do an astrology chart.. and consult a guru???
and yet .. our cultures teach us that Guru is necessary for this... astrology is necessary for that... a diploma from music school is necessary for beautiful music....
(and if that hurts u then nobody in a single meeting can know what hurts you and what does not)...
I am simply trying to share with you those observations which I feel are truly.. helpful...
(you can tell me om what partner u want I can be that)....
if you speak of hurt in me.. you are projecting your own hurt outwards...
but.. you se.. hurt comes from ego and attachment...
the concept of "I ..Me.. MY".. in this country there is a little cartoon character named Popeye.. he is a sailor.. and he is always singing the song "I am what I am and thats all that I am .. im Popeye the Sailor Man"
so when I speak with people..in this country.. who know Popeye... sometimes I explain to them.. with that little song.. and they understand...
I am what I am at this moment.. eating the Mango which I have been given...
I do not know why I am here.. or why I am as I am.. or why I have been given this particular Mango.. or any Mango at all...but
you see.. just as Lord Krsna tells Arjuna.. it is Better to do YOUR OWN Dharma
imperfectly.. than the Dharma of another to perfection...
so.. the West will say.. HOW SILLY.. I want to beat that other fellow at his own DHARMA... I want to be the BEST... and that requires that i be BETTER.. than others..a nd that they be WORSE than ME......
so therefore.. I willl abandon MY DHARMA... because what s over THERE looks so much better an more interesting....
and furthermore.. I wil acquire a DIPLOMA OF DHARMA.. citing my competance and achievement...
and when I hang my Dpiloma of Dharma.. on my wall.. that will be SO MUCH better than doing the Dharma itself... (and of course.. I will finally be able to stop and relax.. having ACHEIVED MY GOAL)...
but you see.. I have no scale.. I have no ruler.. I have only this half eaten mango... which tastes very good....
but good in comparison to what... better than his mango.. worse than her mango.... one step short of Shabari's mango... that I cannot say....and if I start to think about such things... I will drop the mango which I have in the sand... and.. well.. that will be that...
it is a mistake for you to want to be me... it is a mistake for you to want me TO BECOME YOU.... but yet.... that is the mistake of thw west ... of christian and muslim....
you are more attached to YOUR question.. than to seeing MY answer.. which is right before you.. and which I give you many times in different ways....
if it is your question..."What partner do you want.. I can BE THAT"...
you are EXCELLENT just the way you are...
that is another thing which the west does not understand....
everything is fine.. just the way it is... no sin.. no devil....
the way the world.. and life is going.. at this very moment.. is a divine purification.. ordained by God... do not be looking for something different.. or worrying that God left something out... or is waiting to add some missing ingredient...
everything is fine JUST THE WAY IT IS...at any moment...
even the athiest and agnostic.. are just fine the way they are... no need to convert....
Ravanna is SUPPOSED to abduct Sita Ma.... Hiranyakashipu IS SUPPOSED to strike the pillar in anger.. from which Lord Narsimha will spring forth..
and what is difficult to understand for the west in 20th century... Hitler and Germany
and the Holocaust... are.. were .. what was supposed to be.. what is necessary...
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