Weaponry, To be sung to the tune of Alcohol, by Barenaked Ladies.
The original song isn't mine, but the filk is.

Weaponry, my permanent accessory
Weaponry, a party time necessity.
Weaponry, alternative to using bare fists...
Oh mass-destruction, I still drink to your health...

I’ve hurt you more....
Then I did the fight before...
I discovered weaponry.

Forget the tae kwan do, screw the black-belt karate
A Desert Eagle .45 for you, a Browning for me.
Oh weaponry, your blasts resolve all my life’s little woes
When someone else is hit by my grenade...

I’ve hurt you more!
Then I did the fight before
I discovered weaponry.

Oh weaponry...
Would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot fight myself.
I’ll use something else

I thought that sniper rifles were just for campers with nothing else to do
I thought that shooting just to blow shit up was a waste of precious ammo
But now I know that there’s a time and a place where I can chose
To frag you all with my railgun or my plasma rounds!

I’ve hurt you more....
Then I did the fight before...
I discovered weaponry.

Would you please ignore
That you fragged me through the door
Turning me into a pile of gore?

Oh weaponry...
Would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot fight myself.
I’ll use something else