Frostbite

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#CC9900" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="047005a0dwnjzk.gif"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cassies Writing"><U><B>home</B></U></A><B>     | </B><B> </B><B> </B><B>  </B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Arial" ><B>Cassie's Writing</B></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id87.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="All Hallows Eve"><U><B>All Hallows' Eve</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id88.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fall Camoflage"><U><B>Fall Camoflage</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id89.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Cyrus"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  Cyrus</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id90.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Roxanne"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  Roxanne</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id91.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Claude"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  Claude</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id92.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Christmas Magick"><U><B>Christmas Magick</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id93.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Maggie"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  Maggie</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id94.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Winters Deep Freeze"><U><B>Winter's Deep Freeze</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id95.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Sabrina"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  Sabrina</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><B>Frostbite</B><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id97.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: The Collins Family"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  The Collins Family</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id98.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biding Time in Purgatory"><U><B>Biding Time in Purgatory</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id99.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Quentin"><U><B>Puzzle Pieces:  Quentin</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id100.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Family Secrets"><U><B>Family Secrets</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id102.htm" 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height=390 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div>       Adam stared glumly out of the window of his new home-a cottage really-which was attached to a garage.  It was located just behind the Stuarts' huge home.  This was the largest home he'd ever seen except for Collinwood.  In fact, this whole neighborhood was filled with huge homes.  It was a beautiful place, Adam reflected, and if Roxanne had been with him he knew he would have been as delighted with his new living arrangement.  Quentin and Maggie like it here, he thought gloomily, watching his friends.  They were "helping" him unpack-really, he'd brought very little.  He knew they were just trying to keep him company while Sabrina visited privately with her parents for a little while.</div> <div>      He was looking out one of his kitchen windows into the back of the property-it faced a pond.  Adam thought it was a lake and was embarrassed when Sabrina's mother explained it wasn't deep enough to be a lake.  Brightwaters was full of such ponds, it seemed.  This one really was as big as a lake, even if it was shallow.  On Main Street, which led them into this rich community, the grounds around the pond had been developed extravagantly.  There was what appeared to be a marble bridge over the water and benches…it was beautiful.  On the other side of Main Street was an inlet with private vessels moored in slips-small sailboats and motorboats as well.</div> <div>      "Brightwaters," he muttered.  He realized that Quentin and Maggie were talking about that park.</div> <div>      "I'll bet couples get their wedding pictures taken there," Quentin was saying.  </div> <div>      Maggie noticed that Adam looked over at them and was trying to signal to Quentin.  She cast her eyes in Adam's direction in an attempt to hush him.  "Don't do that, Maggie," Adam said with a morose sigh.  "You cannot pretend that you aren't getting married.  You can't hide being married just because I am so sad."</div> <div>      "I'm sorry, Adam," Maggie said, obviously distressed.  Quentin looked away.  Adam thought he felt awkward, too.</div> <div>      "It's not your fault," he said to her.  He looked at Quentin.  "You and Maggie should talk about your marriage plans if you want to." The couple looked at each other uncomfortably.  Adam felt more depressed, knowing that he was causing his friends to feel awkward.  "You will marry on Palm Sunday-that is in March, isn't that right?  Have you made all of your plans?"</div> <div>      "Well-" Maggie began.</div> <div>      "Nothing formal yet," Quentin interrupted.  "I was just thinking how nice it is here.  Maggie's sister lives here on Long Island, too.  I was just thinking that maybe we could get married here."</div> <div>      "<I>Here?</I>"  Maggie was obviously shocked.  "But Quentin, your family-"</div> <div>      "My family doesn't dictate where we get married," he interrupted again, sounding a little angry.  "You liked that bridge, didn't you?"</div> <div>      "Why, yes, it's beautiful!"</div> <div>      Quentin took her by the arms.  "Think how beautiful you would look on that bridge-with me.  Wouldn't you like that?"</div> <div>      Maggie smiled and laughed a little.  "It does look like the perfect place, doesn't it?  Especially in the spring…But will it be so nice in   March?  What if it snows?"</div> <div>      "All the better, my dear," Quentin said softly.  "You'd look beautiful there-in the snow."</div> <div>      "In my wedding gown?"</div> <div>      Quentin laughed.  "It would kind of look like a Nordic fantasy, wouldn't it?  Well, maybe we could put ice skates on-that pond doesn't look too deep."</div> <div>      "Oh, now you're teasing!" Maggie exclaimed.  They both laughed.  Quentin looked like he wanted to kiss her but he stopped himself and turned away, giving Adam a troubled glance.</div> <div>      "You can kiss her, Quentin," Adam admonished, beginning to feel a little irritable.  He didn't want them all walking on eggshells around him.  Now he finally understood that expression.  It had seemed so ridiculous the first time he'd heard it-imagine trying to walk on an eggshell! Instead of kissing Maggie, Quentin joined him at the window, looking out at the pond.</div> <div>      "Think you'll be all right here for awhile, Adam?" Quentin asked.</div> <div>      "I like Sabrina's parents.  Her father is a nice man-he doesn't like being sick.  I will be all right."</div> <div>      "You have to see Dr. Hargrove for surgery again the first week of February.  Cyrus and Sabrina will come down then to take you to the city for the operation," Quentin was explaining.  "If everything works out with the Stuarts, you can recuperate here.  It won't take as long.  Cy said that Dr. Hargrove doesn't have to do very much this time.  Just sort of smooth things over.  You're looking really good, you know that?"</div> <div>      Adam was aware that Quentin seemed to be talking nervously, more for his own benefit than for Adam's.  He looked his friend in the eye.  "She didn't leave me, Quentin.  I wish I could get someone to believe me.  That bad man took her-Claude North."</div> <div>      "But there wasn't a struggle-someone would have seen it or noticed if he'd just dragged Roxanne off," Quentin answered sympathetically.  "Cyrus said she went willingly-"</div> <div>      "For some reason, Dr. Cyrus is not telling us the truth," Adam whispered.  "You suspect it is true, don't you?"</div> <div>      "What do you mean?" Quentin asked, looking away.  He sounded defensive.</div> <div>      "I saw how your face looked when Dr. Cyrus said he had a virus-remember, when he passed out?  You didn't believe him, did you?" Adam asked.  Quentin didn't answer.  Adam hesitated, thinking, trying to remember.  It came to him suddenly, and he put his arm on Quentin's.  "Please look at me."  Reluctantly, Quentin turned back to Adam but was unable to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds.  "Dr. Cyrus behaved oddly in New York at Christmas.  He was gone all night, and the next day he did not want to go to Macy's with us because he said he had a virus.  Do you remember?"</div> <div>      "Yes," Quentin answered, looking even more uncomfortable.</div> <div>      "I have a feeling he has had a `virus' even before then-is that true?" Adam pressed.  </div> <div>      When Quentin nodded, Maggie brought her hand to her mouth.  "Do you think Cyrus had something to do with Roxanne's disappearance?" Quentin asked roughly.  It seemed to be something that had occurred to him as well, but perhaps something he didn't want to think about.  "He's been your closest friend, hasn't he?"</div> <div>      "Yes-and yours.  I don't know what to think, Quentin.  I wanted to ask Dr. Cyrus myself, but he is different toward me.  Surely you have noticed-"</div> <div>      "Yes, actually, I have," Quentin admitted.  "I don't understand, though."</div> <div>      "Nor do I.  I don't believe Dr. Cyrus wanted to do anything to hurt me.  Perhaps he felt he had no other choice-" Adam broke off, frowning.  He tried to think how to put into words his suspicions.  "Perhaps Claude North forced him to."</div> <div>      "I can hire a private detective," Quentin said, seeming to be deep in thought.</div> <div>      "To investigate Cyrus?" Maggie asked, shocked.  Both men turned toward her, both looking ashamed of themselves.</div> <div>      "To look for Claude North, Maggie." Quentin seemed relieved to clarify what he was doing.  No, the detective wasn't going to investigate his best friend.  That would be unconscionable.  "And to look for Roxanne."  He turned toward Adam.  "What do you say?"</div> <div>      Adam was smiling for the first time since Roxanne's disappearance.  He looked enormously relieved.  "When the detective finds Claude North, he will find Maggie, too."</div> <bR> <div>      </div> <div>      Rear Admiral and Mrs. Stuart invited Adam, Quentin and Maggie to dine with them.  Adam looked around the fine house a little uneasily.  His palms felt slick with sweat.  He noticed that Maggie looked nervous, too, and they threw each other small smiles of commiseration.  Quentin seemed entirely at ease, however, conversing pleasantly with the elder Stuarts.  They must be very rich, Adam thought, perched uncomfortably on the edge of his seat.  He thought all the furniture must be very fragile and was afraid he would break the chair he was sitting on.  Everything in the house seemed delicate, beautiful-and breakable.</div> <div>      The Stuarts had a cook, a maid, and a chauffeur.  Adam guessed that must make them about as wealthy as the Collinses.  He supposed that the Navy paid very well; it didn't occur to him that Sabrina's mother came from a very wealthy family and that she had inherited a small fortune.  There was a framed portrait of a very good-looking young man on the mantle of the fireplace.  There were bud roses in vases on either side, and Adam realized that this was some kind of memorial to Sabrina's dead brother.  Thinking of him made him remember Roxanne, because she had a brother who was somewhere in the same place where Sabrina's brother had died.  Adam felt deeply depressed again, wondering what was happening to Roxanne.  Was she suffering?</div> <div>      He heard Sabrina clear her throat and looked up.  Embarrassed, he realized that everyone had gotten up to go into the dining room.  Sabrina seemed to be shooing her friends into the other room, and Adam was puzzled about that until he saw what was taking place between the elder Stuarts.  Mrs. Stuart had retrieved a walker from the closet and set it before her husband, who'd been sitting up ramrod straight in his chair.  "No," he said querulously.</div> <div>      "Ed, please," Mrs. Stuart pleaded.</div> <div>      "I say no," Sabrina's father repeated sharply.  He was trying to stand up.</div> <div>      Adam moved to his weak side and supported him as he stood up.  "Perhaps you can take me to the dining room," he said to the retired officer.  He could see how much Sabrina looked like him.  He had a mane of snow-white hair and one side of his mouth drooped, but he had the same gentle eyes as his daughter.  Those eyes looked into his now, questioningly, wondering if this was some attempt to treat him like an invalid.  Adam looked back with his openly trusting expression.</div> <div>      "Okay," Stuart said slowly.  Adam put his hand on the Rear Admiral's weak elbow and they began to move together.  It was not apparent that Sabrina's father was being partially supported by the large man.  Sabrina looked up with surprise to see her father limping into the dining room, looking as if he was leading Adam in.  Although there were chairs for everyone, there was no place setting for the Rear Admiral.  "I've eaten already," he explained briefly.  The maid came out and served everyone but Stuart.  He sat silently watching as everyone else ate and talked.</div> <div>      Adam studied the man he would be working with surreptitiously.  <I>A good man</I>, he thought.  <I>He is stubborn and proud.  He doesn't eat because he doesn't want us to know that he has trouble holding his fork and knife.</I>  Mrs. Stuart and Sabrina did most of the talking, mostly talking about the adjustment back to the United States.  "This is certainly a beautiful house," Maggie said shyly.  "You're so close to the water, too.  Do you have a sailboat?"</div> <div>      There was a short pause, just long enough for Maggie to glance at Adam with a distressed expression which he read as: <I>What did I say wrong?</I>  Mrs. Stuart said:  "As a matter of fact, we do.  We haven't had a chance to show you all the way around our place.  It's in the boat house."</div> <div>      Adam noticed the determined gleam in the old man's eyes and thought he could guess what Maggie had said "wrong".  She looked flushed with embarrassment but Quentin didn't seem to notice.  Adam felt sorry for her and wished he could tell her somehow that it wasn't her fault; it was between Sabrina's parents.  Her father wanted to go sailing; her mother didn't want him to.  <I>Maybe I will learn how to sail</I>, Adam thought.  Surprised, he mentally shrugged the thought off.  He had something else he had to attend to first: Roxanne.</div> <div>      At the end of the evening, Adam was surprised when Quentin chose to come back to his little house rather than stay in the Stuarts' much more comfortable home.  He was embarrassed when Quentin and Maggie embraced in the kitchen near the back door.  He turned away when he saw Quentin bending over Maggie, kissing her passionately.  "I will leave the door open for you," he called softly to his friend, and went back to his cottage.  </div> <div> <I>If Roxanne was with me, this would be a wonderful little house,</I> he thought.  The front door opened into an enclosed porch.  From there, he went into the living room.  The living room connected to a small kitchen and bath.  Upstairs were two bedrooms.  One bedroom had a double bed; the other had a twin.  Yes, if Roxanne were here, it would be a wonderful home.  <I>I would learn how to sail the boat for the Admiral,</I> Adam thought.  <I>We could all go on the boat, and I would make sure that the man controlled the sails as much as he could.  That's all he wants-to be a normal man.  I know how he feels.</I></div> <div> Adam went into the kitchen and got a Pepsi out of the refrigerator, grateful that the others had thought to bring some groceries along for him.  There was no cold pizza, but he did have a phone and he was sure there were plenty of pizza places around.  Everyone had told him that New York pizza was the best.  He heard the door open and close.  He heard Quentin coming into the kitchen and reached into the refrigerator for another Pepsi.</div> <div> "No Bud, huh?" Quentin asked, accepting the Pepsi.</div> <div> "I don't like beer," Adam stated.  "Perhaps there is something else to drink here.  I didn't think to bring anything."</div> <div> "No, it's all right.  Don't worry about it.  Where's your phone?  I wanted to call the PI."</div> <div> "PI?"</div> <div> "Private investigator."</div> <div> "Ah!" Adam felt animated now.   "The detective?" When Quentin nodded, he moved toward the stairs.  "Come-Sabrina told me that the phone is upstairs in the bedroom with the larger bed."  He fidgeted while Quentin placed his call to Rockport.  Apparently he knew the man well and was on familiar terms with him.  Adam listened as Quentin began to explain the problem.</div> <div> "Adam, Tony needs a description of Roxanne and this man who was following her." Quentin held the receiver out.</div> <div> Taking it, Adam closed his eyes and brought forth Roxanne's face.  He knew her so well; he almost felt he could reach out and touch her as he described her over the phone to the stranger, Tony Peterson.  "All right," Peterson said finally.  "That's pretty complete, Mr. Knight.  What about this other man?  What is his name?"</div> <div> "Claude North," Adam answered, feeling himself shudder as he said the name.  He unwillingly let go of Roxanne's image, bringing forth the features of the man who exuded so much evil power.  When he was finished, he asked hopefully:  "You will find Roxanne for me?"</div> <div> The man hesitated a moment and then answered, "I'll do my best, Mr. Knight."</div> <div> Adam handed the receiver back to Quentin and turned away, feeling depressed again.  <I>That man thinks that Roxanne went away with him too,</I> he thought.  He looked at the double bed and sighed.  This was not the room for him.  He went into the other bedroom and lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  After a few minutes, Quentin came and stood in the doorway.  "Tony's going to start on it right away, Adam," he said.</div> <div> "He doesn't believe she was taken away," Adam said.  "Do you think he will really try?"</div> <div> "If he wants my money, he will," Quentin declared.</div> <div> "Why did you want to stay here with me?"  Adam asked.  "I am not going to hurt myself.  I am going to find Roxanne.  If I hurt myself, I won't be able to do that."</div> <div> "I didn't think you would-" Quentin began, sounding surprised.  He stopped, looking uncomfortable.  "That's not why I wanted to stay over here."</div> <div> Adam sighed, wondering if his friend was fibbing to him.  "Why? You would be more comfortable in the big house-it is not as big as Collinwood but it isn't tiny and cramped like this house."</div> <div> "It's not the size of the house that makes me comfortable."</div> <div> There was something in Quentin's tone of voice that made Adam turn his head to look at his friend.  "Is it because the house reminds you of Collinwood?"</div> <div> "That-and a couple of other things.  Maggie would be a little too close for comfort for one."  There was a rocking chair in this room and Quentin sat down in it, gently rocking himself.</div> <div> <I>He hasn't slept with her</I>, Adam realized, amazed.  "If you love Maggie, why do you want to stay away from her?" he asked curiously.  He saw Quentin's face redden.  "I am sorry.  I don't mean to pry."</div> <div> "It's all right," Quentin answered in an off-handed way, as if it didn't matter.  Adam knew better.  "I feel like talking.  I just want to start things off the right way.  I want to wait until we get married."  As if he realized what Adam would ask next, he went on:  "It probably wouldn't be wrong if I was with Maggie now-like it wasn't wrong for you and Roxanne to be together.  It's just-" He stopped, as if unsure how to proceed.   When he did finally speak, he said something very puzzling.  "I think my mother must have felt as you do now, Adam."</div> <div> "What do you mean?"  Adam sat up on the bed.  He was curious at the odd expression on his friend's face.  He looked both sad and angry at the same time.</div> <div> "My mother was a servant at Collinwood-years ago."  Quentin stopped again.  Adam was visibly startled.  <I>His mother-a servant?</I>  Quentin laughed a little.  "Yes, she needed to work, you see.  Her first husband-not my father-had an accident at the cannery, and he died.  My mother had a little boy already, my brother Gabriel."</div> <div> "Gabriel?  You had a brother?"  Adam was astonished.  There was no Gabriel in the other world, either.  "Where is he?"</div> <div> "He was killed," Quentin answered flatly.  "In Vietnam."  </div> <div> "It must be a cursed country," Adam said softly.  When Quentin looked at him quizzically, he explained:  "Sabrina's brother was killed in this country.  Roxanne's brother is there somewhere.  Now you say your brother was killed there, too.  Why?"</div> <div> "I don't know.  It's a complicated mess.  There's a civil war going on over there between North and South Vietnam.  Our country was trying to help South Vietnam, and it was just supposed to be for a little while.  We just seemed to get stuck there, though.  We can't seem to get out of it."</div> <div> "Like the tarbaby?"</div> <div> Quentin laughed.  "Something like that.  But I don't think it's quite the same story.  But yeah-we're stuck there, all right.  I thought about going too, you know, but then there was Angelique and Daniel, and my mother, too-"</div> <div> "If your mother was a servant, how is it that you own Collinwood?"  Adam broke in curiously.</div> <div> "Ah, well, that's the reason that I want to wait to be with Maggie, you see," Quentin smiled bitterly.  "My father was a Collins. The Collinses seem to have a way of falling in love with people they shouldn't.  So my father fell in love with my mother.  She said he really liked my brother, too."</div> <div> "And they married?"</div> <div> "No.  My father had a fight with my grandfather and left home.  He joined the Army.  He was supposed to marry my mother before he was sent overseas, but they didn't get a chance.  And then he was killed, you see, before-and my mother was already pregnant, with me."  Quentin looked as if he was miles away, lost in thought.  Adam thought it was obvious that he still missed his mother and brother.  He'd stopped rocking in the chair.  After a moment, he said, "Well, that's why I thought my mother must've felt lost when she lost my father."</div> <div> At that, Adam felt a little prickling sense of alarm.  "I am afraid for Roxanne, yes, but I think we will find her again," he whispered.  "I don't think she's dead."  The thought terrified him.</div> <div> "Yes, you're right, of course-it's not the same at all, not really.  It's just that you were both-set adrift, I guess."</div> <div> Adam frowned.  "Set adrift?"</div> <div> Quentin shrugged.  "Well, even this is different.  I guess I'm just talking out of my head, Adam.  It's really not the same at all.  You decided to come here for a while.  You weren't told what to do."</div> <div> "Yes, and this is temporary," Adam agreed.  Then he understood.   "Ah.  Your grandfather told your mother to leave?"</div> <div> "Yes, he was the master of Collinwood-she was put out, and so she went to stay with my Aunt Nancy.  My aunt took care of her."</div> <div> "How did you get back to Collinwood, then?"</div> <div> Quentin shook his head bitterly.  "It's a long story, my friend.  But you see, the reason why I want to do this right with Maggie is because I want children.  And I don't want any questions coming up about whether my child was conceived out of wedlock."</div> <div> Now Adam understood.  He'd read enough to know that it was bad for a woman to have a baby before she was married.  Other people said terrible things about her-even if she was a good person.  "People called you names, too?"  He asked.  It became clear now why this rich man would want to help him and why he'd been the first to help Adam, hiding him from the others.</div> <div> "Bastard, usually," Quentin agreed.</div> <div> Adam understood the meaning of the word, and he looked at his friend with sympathetic compassion.  <I>Monster, bastard</I>-both names hurt.  "Yes, I understand now, Quentin," he said softly.  "I also understand now why you are different from the other members of the family.  You understand what it is like.  And yet, I do not understand about Angelique-"</div> <div> "Angelique!" Quentin exclaimed.  His face darkened.  "Well, I can tell you about Angelique.  Something that no one else knows.  She consumes people-men especially.  Angelique and I were a bastardization of what happened with my own parents."</div> <div> Adam wasn't sure he understood.  He did understand the comparison to Quentin's parents, though.  "Do you mean that you and she-" he began.</div> <div> "No, not us."  Quentin laughed bitterly.  "I was just a kid-just started my junior year in college.  No, it wasn't me.  It was Angelique and Gabriel, and then he died before they could marry.  And she-"</div> <div> Adam was stunned.  "Why would you marry her if you were so young and she loved your brother?"</div> <div> "That's just it.  She didn't love Gabe-not really.  She loved the idea of being married to him because she knew that we were close.  I was the heir, you see-I was going to inherit Collinwood.  My grandfather passed over his children-he was going to leave everything to me. That's really why he came looking for my mother and brother and me.  Anyway, Angelique knew that Gabriel and my mother would live at that house.  That's what she wanted."</div> <div> "And so she married you-but how?"  Adam was still confused.</div> <div> "She came to me for money," Quentin was explaining, his face twisted with pain.  "She needed money for an abortion, she said, now that Gabriel was dead."</div> <div> "Abortion?"</div> <div> "It's an operation to get rid a baby."</div> <div> Adam was shocked.  His mouth fell open, and he was dumbfounded.</div> <div> "I didn't want her to do it," Quentin went on.  "That was my brother's child."  His voice became thick with emotion as he remembered what must have been a heart-breaking scene.  "She said she had to, she couldn't support a baby.  She didn't want to-not if she wasn't at Collinwood.  So I told her I'd marry her if she wouldn't have the abortion."</div> <div> Adam realized another truth.   There were no other children at Collinwood other than Amy Collins and she wasn't Quentin's.  "Daniel is your brother's child," he said as Quentin buried his face in his hands.  Adam got off the bed and approached his friend, kneeling at his side.  He patted Quentin on the shoulder.  "I am sorry, Quentin."</div> <div> "Daniel in the lion's den," Quentin muttered in a muffled voice.</div> <div> "But the lioness is now dead," Adam objected.   "There is not a lion now."  He continued to pat Quentin's shoulder absently, trying to comfort him.  "Maggie is kind.  She will be good to him."  He felt another wave of realization.  "And so your very own children will have a married mother and father, Quentin.  You are doing the right thing."</div> <div> "Thanks."  Quentin looked up, and Adam saw that his eyes were shiny with tears.  "I'm some friend, crying all over your shoulder when you have enough troubles yourself."</div> <div> "Friends help each other," Adam stated firmly.  "You are helping me to try and find Roxanne.  I am trying to help you.  I don't know if I am of much use to you."</div> <div> "Ah, shit, Adam, you're a better person than most people I know-except maybe Cyrus."</div> <div> <I>I used to think Cyrus was a very good man</I>, Adam thought.  He didn't want to tell Quentin what he was thinking.  He knew they'd been friends since boyhood.  <I>I still think Cyrus is a good man, but something has happened to him.  I don't think I can trust Cyrus-he doesn't seem to be the same person I met.</I>  "I am glad if I am able to help you, Quentin," he said finally.</div> <div> "Well, I hope I can help you," Quentin replied.  </div> <div> "I hope so, too.  I am very tired now.  It was a long drive."  Adam realized he felt overwhelmed by all of this: Roxanne's disappearance, this new move to Long Island, and Quentin's startling revelations about his own life.  Adam felt drained.  He hadn't needed any of Cyrus' mixture in a long time but considered going back downstairs for a small glass of it.</div> <div> "I'm beat, too," Quentin agreed.</div> <div> "I hope you will be comfortable in the other room."</div> <div> Quentin looked surprised.  "I thought you'd stay there."</div> <div> Adam was shaking his head.  "No, I would rather you sleep there.  You will be more comfortable. This bed is too short for you.""  He knew by the look on his face what Quentin was thinking.  He knew that his feet stuck way off the end of the bed.  </div> <div> "Sure, but you're even taller than I am."</div> <div> "I can't-not without Roxanne."</div> <div> Quentin's expression changed.  He understood.  "Well, if you're sure-"</div> <div> "I'm sure.  I think I will get some of that fizzy drink Dr. Cyrus made for me and then go to sleep."  Quentin nodded and moved off into the other room.  Adam went downstairs and poured out a small amount of the compound.  He hadn't needed any in weeks, and he wasn't sure it would really help.  It was possible he was just tired from the loneliness and pain he felt at being separated from Roxanne.  The light in the other room was off when he came back upstairs.  He lay down on the twin bed and tossed and turned the rest of the night.</div> <bR> <div> The following day was Sunday, and the Stuarts made it clear that they didn't expect Adam to start "working" until Monday.  They were going to church and invited their guests to come along.  Adam had enjoyed going to church occasionally with Roxanne.  He didn't feel comfortable declining the invitation when everyone else was going.</div> <div> Quentin, Maggie, and Adam followed the Stuarts to their church.  It was a Presbyterian Church in Islip, and the steeple attracted Adam.  There was another church on the opposite corner; they looked like twins.  That was a Methodist church.  Adam wondered why there had to be so many different churches when they all looked so much alike and tended to teach the same things.  That was something he wanted to ask Roxanne when he found her again.  He'd thought to ask Dr. Cyrus but decided that if he kept the question for Roxanne, then he would never give up hope of finding her.</div> <div> "Isn't that pretty?" Quentin was saying to Maggie.  "Say, what religion are you anyway?"</div> <div> "I haven't been into a church since Pop died," Maggie admitted.  She looked at the church.  It was very old, but its wooden frame had been freshly painted.  The steps were made of wood, too, and painted a navy blue-grey.  Quentin pulled into the gravel parking lot behind the Stuarts and parked.  </div> <div> As they waited politely for Mrs. Stuart to get out of her side, Quentin studied the stain glass windows and said, "Well, I'm sort of a lapsed Christian myself.  What do you think of this one?"</div> <div> "It's beautiful," Maggie began, looking obviously surprised.  "But we don't know the pastor-we'd have to talk to him."</div> <div> "Sure," Quentin agreed.  The bell in the steeple began to toll.  Rear Admiral Stuart was getting out of the passenger side of the car.  He'd rejected the walker again, but had grudgingly agreed to use a cane.  When Sabrina and her parents were clear of the car, Quentin opened his door and then came around to open Maggie's side.  </div> <div> As Adam got out, he looked up at the steeple where the bell was tolling.  It had a pretty ring to it, but it had a different message for him.  He imagined it calling to Roxanne: where are you?  Where are you?  He followed the others into the church.</div> <div> After the church service was over, Sabrina's father looked tired.  The Stuarts looked grateful when Quentin suggested he take Maggie over to her sister's for a few hours before they returned to Maine.  Jennifer was expecting a visit from Maggie some time during the afternoon.  They invited Adam along, and he gratefully accepted.  He knew Sabrina would want to be alone with her parents, and he didn't want to be left to himself just yet.</div> <div> Quentin drove down Main Street until they got into Oakdale.  Adam was surprised that Main Street was so long.  It was Main Street from the village of Brightwaters all the way into Oakdale, and when Maggie explained it would still be Main Street all the way to the eastern end of the Island, Adam supposed it was less confusing this way but very dull.  He noticed all the signs for marinas and decided he would have to learn some more about boats.</div> <div> Jennifer lived in a nice split-level home.  She came out of the house to greet them, carrying her baby.  She and Maggie exchanged cool kisses.   Maggie held her arms out for the baby, and Jennifer seemed grateful to turn him over to her sister.  She turned to Quentin.  "Hey, handsome!" she exclaimed.  "I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon!"  Quentin kissed her on the cheek politely and smiled, saying nothing.  Jennifer turned her attention to Adam.  </div> <div> "Jenny, this is our friend Adam Knight," Maggie said swiftly.  "Adam, my sister, Jennifer Cole."</div> <div> "I am happy to meet you," Adam said stiffly.  He felt uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze of Maggie's sister.  Did she think him ugly?  He'd thought the surgery would make the scars less visible, and everyone said he looked so much better, but…He realized that Jennifer was smiling and holding her hand out to him.  Clumsily, he took it and shook it awkwardly, taking care not to squeeze her fingers.  He realized she was speaking to him, and he felt both horrified and repulsed by what she was saying.</div> <div> "You won't have any trouble finding another girl, don't you worry," Jennifer said in a bubbly, friendly voice.  "A handsome man like you could pick up two dozen girls easily.  Hey!  I have a girlfriend or two I could fix you up with, especially since you're going to be living so close…"</div> <div> Adam looked toward Quentin, alarmed.  However, help came from another direction.  "Jenny, I don't think Adam's in the market right now," Maggie said gently.</div> <div> Jenny nodded but said, "Ah! Give him a week-he'll get over it.  Well, come on in."  She led the way into the house, which though immaculately clean smelled distinctly of new baby.  She brought them into the spacious living room.  "Well, can I get everyone a beer?"</div> <div> "I would rather have a Pepsi, thank you," Adam said politely.</div> <div> "Pepsi!  I have to see if we have any soda," Jennifer replied.  "You'll drink Coke, right?"</div> <div> "Yes."</div> <div> "Where's Dan?" Maggie asked.</div> <div> For the first time, Jennifer's pretty face clouded over.  "Working."</div> <div> "On Sunday?"  </div> <div> "He's working on some clients at the country club," Jennifer answered, with a bitter little smile.  "Here, let me get you all something to drink."</div> <div> "I'll help you," Maggie offered.  She began to put the baby down in the bassinet in the living room, but Quentin stepped in front of her and reached for the infant.  Their eyes met and they smiled; Maggie put the baby into Quentin's arms and then followed her sister into the living room.   Quentin sat back down on the sofa, holding the baby as if he was a football.</div> <div> He looked at Adam and smiled sheepishly.  "It's been a long time."  He crossed his leg and put the baby in the triangular space created by that movement.</div> <div> Adam moved so that he was sitting next to Quentin.  "Should you do that?  Will the baby fall?"</div> <div> "Nah, they're sturdier than they look," Quentin answered, making a face at the baby.  He happened to be wide-awake and alert.  He liked the expression and cooed and gurgled with delight.</div> <div> Adam was delighted too.  He began to laugh.  How wonderful and how strange babies were!  In response to Adam's laughter, the infant turned his head toward Adam and cooed and gurgled again.  "It's as if it is talking!"</div> <div> "It is a boy, I think," Quentin laughed, "not an it."</div> <div> "How can you tell?"  Adam asked curiously. </div> <div> Quentin would have laughed but didn't want to hurt Adam's feelings.  "You can't tell without looking.  Maggie told me he's a boy."  He jiggled his crossed leg a little and said in a childish voice, "His name is James Christopher, yes it is.  He's grown sooooo big since I saw him on Christmas, yes he has."</div> <div> "He has?" Adam asked.  He wondered why Quentin was behaving so strangely but noticed that the baby seemed to like it and was now waving his fists in the air.  Quentin caught one of the tiny hands in his own large one, wiggling his forefinger into the baby's palm.  Little James immediately grasped the finger tightly.</div> <div> "Yes, he has, he's grown some and gained some weight, too."  Quentin looked over and noticed Adam watching him closely.  "Want to hold him?"</div> <div> Adam drew back immediately.  "No!" he exclaimed, panicking.  He was sure he would drop such a tiny bundle and admired Quentin's ability to handle the infant.  He moved back further so that his friend wouldn't get any ideas about trying to give him the baby.  "You and Maggie will have babies together.  You like being a father, don't you?"</div> <div> Quentin gulped and turned red.  "Well, I like babies," he agreed.  "I don't know if I'm any good as a father."</div> <div> "Maybe you won't know until your children grow up," Adam said thoughtfully.  "But you like it?"</div> <div> Quentin shrugged.  "Most of the time, I guess."</div> <div> Adam was going to ask when Quentin didn't like it when Maggie and Jennifer returned with refreshments.  Adam knew they had been confiding to each other in the kitchen.  Roxanne always had a certain look on her face after she'd been somewhere-like to the bathroom-with a friend.  She'd explained it to Adam and he understood.  He wondered why men didn't confide in each other more and shrugged slightly.  He still had so much to learn.</div> <div> Jennifer took James into the back for a nap.  When she came back, she pushed her hair back, looking tired and annoyed.  "So what exactly is old Dan selling?" Quentin asked.</div> <div> "His legal services to high rolling businessmen-kind of like a prostitute peddling <I>her</I> wares, y'know what I mean?"  She winked as Maggie's eyes widened with shock.  Quentin stifled a laugh so that he wouldn't spit his beer out.  Adam filed this bit of information to ask about later.  "He has a standing date with these people at the Country Club," she added, a little grimly.  Adam had a feeling that Jennifer didn't appreciate it.  "Maybe he'll take you there as his guests next time you're down.  It's very pretty there.  It's right on the bay, and it has this huge manor and a golf course.  When the weather's warmer, they play golf.  When it's cold like this, they sit around a table and have brunch and drink.  He comes home quite lit."</div> <div> Maggie and Quentin began to look uncomfortable.  "What do <I>you</I> do on Sundays, Jennifer?  Surely he takes you sometimes-" Maggie began.</div> <div> "Are you kidding?  Who'd watch the baby?"  It sounded almost like a challenge, and no one had an answer.  Jennifer looked at her sister a trifle resentfully.  "You've got it good now, Maggie.  Better enjoy it."  She drank from her glass of beer a little too quickly.  "You're going back up this afternoon, are you?  Well, next time you come down you can go visit the marina and Robert Moses or Jones Beach."</div> <div> "There are so many marinas," Adam put in, trying to alleviate the tension that was growing.</div> <div> Jennifer looked at him as if he was out of his mind.  "Well, of course.  This <I>is</I> an island, y'know?  We're all surrounded by water."</div> <div> "Maybe we could go for a drive and see one of these beaches you're talking about," Quentin suggested.</div> <div> "The only place that's open this time of the year would be Jones Beach.  And that's going toward the city, way the hell out of your way.  You're driving back tonight?"</div> <div> "That was the plan, but I'm not in any hurry."</div> <div> Maggie looked at Quentin, surprised, but didn't say anything. Adam wasn't surprised-he knew Quentin didn't like it at Collinwood.  He felt a little excited about going to see a marina.  </div> <div> "You can always stay here if you want to," Jennifer offered with a shrug of her shoulders.  "Well if you want to, I'll tell you how to do it.  It's really not that hard.  You go back west on the Southern State Parkway until you get to the Robert Moses Causeway.  Then you take that south over the Robert Moses Bridge.  There's a ramp that takes you to Ocean Parkway-toward the city, that's where you want to go.  Then you just follow that out to Jones Beach.  And if you go over the second bridge, you've gone to far."</div> <div> "Don't you want to come?" Maggie asked.</div> <div> "It's too cold for the baby, Maggie, don't be an idiot," Jennifer responded, more tiredly than contemptuously.  Maggie blushed furiously.</div> <div> "Do you have a baby carriage?  You can bundle the kid up.  It's not that cold out," Quentin said, putting a hand protectively on Maggie's arm.</div> <div> "He's sleeping.  I should sleep too."  Jennifer shrugged.  "Next time, huh?"</div> <div> When they got into the car and started to drive away, Maggie seemed distressed.  "What's bothering you?"  Quentin asked.</div> <div> "She just seems so different, don't you think?" </div> <div> Quentin laughed.  "A lot tamer.  She's still nasty to you, though."</div> <div> "I think she's just so unhappy." When Quentin shrugged, she said:  "We haven't talked to the Stuarts about staying another night."</div> <div> "So?  Your sister said we could stay with her if we wanted."</div> <div> "Yes," Maggie agreed, her voice trailing off.  She looked out the window unhappily.</div> <div> <I>Everyone seems to be so unhappy.  They all have so many problems</I>, Adam thought.<I>  Even Quentin and Maggie are unhappy, but they're not telling each other why.  Foolish people!</I>  He and Roxanne used to talk openly and honestly about everything.  That was another reason he was so positive that Roxanne had not left him.  She would have told him if she were unhappy with him-he was sure of it.</div> <div> Adam enjoyed the drive to Jones Beach.  Long Island was covered with pine trees, he reflected.  He especially noticed them on the parkways.  The Robert Moses Causeway took them over the Great South Bay. <I>It must be very deep</I>, Adam thought,<I> to have such an impressive name.</I>  On the other side of the bridge, Quentin had just turned onto Ocean Parkway when both Adam and Maggie exclaimed in delight.  There was a family of deer crossing the parkway in front of them.  Quentin pulled off the road so they could watch.  The road was deserted except for their car.</div> <div> "Look at them!" Maggie exclaimed.  "Aren't they beautiful?"</div> <div> "Are there any apples left?" Quentin asked Adam.  One of the things they'd brought to snack on during the trip from Maine to New York was a bag of red delicious apples.  Adam found the bag on the floor of the car and held it up, grinning happily.  "Roll your window down and toss them out.  They like fruit."</div> <div> Delighted, Adam rolled his window down.  He took two apples out and handed them out to Maggie.  "You, too," he said.</div> <div> Maggie began to open the door.  Quentin grabbed her arm quickly.  "Don't!" he cautioned.  "I don't know if they're used to people or not.  If they aren't, you'll scare them off."</div> <div> Maggie stopped.  "I wouldn't want to do that. "  She was laughing with delight.  "I'll just throw them out the window, too."  </div> <div> Adam hesitated a minute.  "What if they are familiar with people?  Will they come to us?"</div> <div> "Sure, they might-but it's still not a good idea."</div> <div> "Why?"</div> <div> "Because a deer is a wild animal.  It's not supposed to trust us.  What if they trusted us and some car came along and it was full of hunters?"</div> <div> Adam frowned, disappointed.  He'd been hoping to try getting out of the car to feed an apple to the deer but he certainly saw Quentin's point.  It irritated him that anyone would want to shoot such a graceful animal.  He rolled his window down and tossed his apples out the window gently.</div> <div> "Okay, now watch," Quentin whispered, when they'd rolled their windows back up.  Adam pressed his nose up against the window, watching with childlike fascination as the deer approached the apples, nuzzled them, and then began munching at them.  He looked around to say something to Quentin and Maggie and was embarrassed to see them clinched together tightly, kissing, not looking at the deer at all anymore.  He turned and pressed his nose against the window again, but this time he didn't feel delighted.  He felt a deep aching from within-he missed Roxanne terribly.</div> <div> He was still feeling morose as they walked along the boardwalk at Jones Beach.  Adam had never seen the ocean look like this before.  He had seen it rough and wild, crashing on the rocks of Widows' Hill.  He had feared the ocean then; he liked the wide expanse of beach and dunes here.  It made the water look less dangerous, although he knew that the ocean was something to be respected and not trifled with.  His sadness came from the loneliness he felt at not having someone to put his arm around.  Quentin had his arm around Maggie's waist and was hugging her to him tightly, as if to protect her from the cold wind that blew here.  Adam's teeth chattered, but he didn't complain.  He could hear his two friends talking but he'd shut them out and had no idea what they were saying.</div> <div> Suddenly, Quentin stood in front of him.  "Adam?  What's wrong?"</div> <div> "Oh, Quentin, he must be freezing!" Maggie was saying.  "Look-isn't that one of those snack bars Jenny was telling us about?"</div> <div> Adam let them lead him into the snack bar, which was empty except for an older couple behind the counter.  They didn't look especially surprised or pleased to see these visitors come in.  "You got any hot chocolate or coffee?" Quentin was asking.  Maggie led Adam over to a table and sat down with him.</div> <div> "Adam, what's wrong?" she was asking.</div> <div> He felt as if he'd fallen down a deep well.  He realized they were worried about him.  "I miss Roxanne, that's all," he answered finally.  He was too numbed to feel distressed when Maggie's eyes immediately filled with tears.</div> <div> "Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry."</div> <div> "What <I>is</I> this?" Quentin asked in a joking manner, coming over to the table with coffee for himself and hot chocolate for Maggie and Adam.  Maggie shook her head, <I>no</I>, at Quentin and he stopped talking.  Silently, he passed the cup of hot chocolate to Adam.</div> <div> "I should have stayed at the cottage," Adam declared.  "I am spoiling your walk."</div> <div> "It's not spoiled.  It's cold, and we'll be able to have other walks," Maggie reassured him.</div> <div> "We'll walk here again when we find Roxanne."  Adam noticed Maggie looking at Quentin questioningly.  "I know that everyone believes that Roxanne ran away.  I know how it looks.   I know my Roxanne.  She did not run away."</div> <div> "I believe you," Maggie said in that reassuring manner.  Adam wasn't sure whether she really believed him or not and sighed.</div> <div> "We'll get warmed up, then we'll go back outside, walk back and freeze again, how's that?" Quentin asked, trying to joke again.  </div> <div> Adam tried to smile a little.  "This is a nice place.  I like it here.  It is called-what?  Jones Beach?"</div> <div> "I'll bet it's nicer when it's not so cold," Maggie said.  "We should come here again when it's warmer."</div> <div> "I'll bet you can swim in the ocean here," Quentin agreed.  "It's a lot warmer this far south."</div> <div> "I have never been swimming in the ocean," Adam said.</div> <div> "There's a first time for everything, right?"</div> <div> "Right," Adam agreed, deciding not to say he had no intention of staying here for very long unless they were able to find Roxanne right away.</div> <bR> <div> "Quentin!" Adam exclaimed, getting up to restrain his friend.  Quentin had just thrown the telephone across the room.  His face was suffused with fury.  Quentin struggled, trying to throw Adam off but the giant was too strong for him.  "Stop that!" Adam rebuked him.  He remembered how angry Barnabas and Julia became when he would fly into a rage.  He would rage and have tantrums because he didn't know any better and was frustrated.  "You mustn't break the telephone!"</div> <div> "I'll buy them another fucking phone!  Turn me loose!"  Quentin shouted.</div> <div> "No, you calm down first," Adam said firmly.  He'd listened in increasing alarm when Quentin called Collinwood to let the family know he'd be delayed another day, possibly two.  Quentin wanted to speak to his cousin Chris but ended up on the phone with Roger.  </div> <div> As Quentin demanded to speak to Chris, his voice began to rise with increasing irritation.   Apparently Roger was giving him a hard time not only about talking to Chris but something else as well.  "Fuck you, you flaming idiot!" Quentin had finally yelled into the phone before throwing it at the opposite wall.</div> <div> "Do you let Daniel see you like this?" Adam asked, and Quentin stopped struggling immediately.  He looked ashamed of himself and his face flamed a deeper shade of red.  "If you lose your temper with Roger like that, he will continue to annoy you."</div> <div> Quentin sighed.  He looked at Adam, his color receding as he began to calm down.  "Yes, I know that.  I'm sorry.  I lost control of myself."</div> <div> "Yes, I see.  I lost control of myself many times when Willie tormented me.  Does Roger torment you?"</div> <div> Quentin burst out with a short, harsh laugh.  "Always."  He went and retrieved the phone.  "It still works," he said, putting the receiver to his ear.  He dialed another number.  After a few moments, he said, "Chris, for chrissakes it's Sunday night.  What are you doing there?"  He listened for a few moments, frowned, and then said,  "Well, he's always had screwball theories.  Just give him what he needs, all right?  I don't think it'll do any harm."  He listened again, looking exasperated but now he said, "All right, all right.  Look-I just want to let you know I'm going to be delayed another day or two.  And if Roger cries poor mouth to you, you can tell him I said he can go to the devil.  Got that?  And I don't have anything scheduled, so you take care of whatever comes up."  After another pause, he sighed and said in a calmer tone, "Look, I'm sorry.  I don't mean to jump at you that way.  It's Roger-he's a pain in my ass."  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Quentin doubled over with laughter.  <I>My, he is so moody! </I> Adam, thought, confused.  "Stop, already, will you?  All right, I'll see you later, then."  He hung up and smiled sheepishly.</div> <div> "If you dislike Collinwood so much, why don't you just move away?" Adam asked.</div> <div> Quentin looked startled.  He opened his mouth as if to speak and then shut it again, turning away.  "I can't," he muttered.  "I'm tied there."</div> <div> "I see no chain around your ankle," Adam commented mildly.  Quentin turned back to him, a speculative gleam in his eyes.</div> <bR> <div> After his friends left for Maine, Adam began to get to know the Stuarts better, particularly Rear Admiral Stuart.  The man was very stubborn and determined to recover all his power of movement.  A male physical therapist came to work with Stuart every day, and the older man would push himself to the point of exhaustion.  He would never allow his wife to stay in the room with him because sometimes he would break down and cry.  The first time it happened, Adam was alarmed.  The therapist took him aside and assured him, "It's normal-he can't help it.  That happens with a lot of folks who've had strokes."</div> <div> A speech therapist came to work with the older man as well.  Sometimes Stuart would get stuck on a word that he knew he wanted to say but was unable to produce the sound.  He would become frustrated and break into tears again.  Adam would wait and try to let the old man come up with the word himself.  If he couldn't, Adam would say reassuringly, "Don't worry, you'll remember.  Once I didn't know all the words, either."</div> <div> Adam's other responsibilities included helping the rear admiral dress and bathe himself, feed himself, and get on and off the toilet.  Adam remembered how frustrating it felt to be helpless, like a baby, and so he let the older man attempt to do as much as he could by himself.  Mrs. Stuart was always kind and polite, but Adam noticed that she frequently left the house to go to the library or to a meeting of some kind.  She was out more than she was in the first few days he was there.</div> <div> After a particularly trying speech therapy session, the rear admiral's eyes filled with tears again, and he muttered:  "Useless, useless."  The therapist reassured him, but he only glared at her and spat out: "You go away now!"  She didn't seem insulted which seemed to further infuriate the old man.  He was quivering with rage when Adam returned from showing the woman out.</div> <div> "Perhaps you need to go out for a break.  It is cold outside, but I wonder if you would like to see Jones Beach?"  Adam asked.</div> <div> The old man's eyes brightened and the tears dried up immediately.  "Go out?  Where is this-this-" He struggled with the word and finally spat out: "Sandbox?"  He shook his head in frustration.</div> <div> "Jones Beach," Adam repeated softly.  "It is across a bridge.  It is a little far from here but it would be pleasant to go on the boardwalk and get some hot chocolate."</div> <div> "Yes," the old man agreed.</div> <div> "I just don't know how I could take you there."</div> <div> "You-you-" Again the old man hesitated.  Then he made a motion as if he was driving a car.</div> <div> "I don't know how," Adam admitted, embarrassed.  "Perhaps we could ask your driver…"</div> <div> "Not know how?" the admiral interrupted, looking shocked.  "Never learned how?"</div> <div> "No.  Perhaps you could teach me."</div> <div> The old man brayed with laughter; then he looked at Adam seriously.  "Teach you-why not?"  He seemed to consider the idea and liked it.  He smiled.  "You call Steve."  This was the name of the chauffeur.  "We'll go to the sandbox first.  Later, driving lessons."</div> <div> It was in this way that Adam learned to drive a car.  Ocean Parkway was almost totally deserted; it was late January and there weren't many visitors to Jones Beach or drivers on the parkway.  Over the next two weeks, Steve drove Adam and the rear admiral to Jones Beach for short walks on the Boardwalk.   They would stop in at the snack shop for a hot chocolate, and then Steve would drive them back east.  </div> <div> Before they got to the bridge, however, Steve would pull into one of the deserted parking lots and let Adam take the wheel.  Steve got into the back seat and relaxed, enjoying the luxury of sitting back.  The rear admiral moved into the front passenger seat to give Adam instructions.  He was stern and gruff, but underneath it, Adam could detect that the man was happy.  <I>He feels useful</I>, Adam thought.</div> <div> Cyrus called to make arrangements to pick Adam up and take him into the city on Monday, February 16.  He sounded nervous and unlike himself at all.  Adam wondered if Cyrus knew that he was calling Quentin twice a week to find out if there was any news of Roxanne.  So far the private detective had been unable to find any trace of her.  Adam felt himself beginning to grow more and more frantic about that.  He wanted to go back-and he was determined that he would once he recovered from the second surgery. A week before Cyrus was to come and pick Adam up to take him in to the city, Adam called Quentin.  "Can the private detective help me get a birth certificate and a social security card?"</div> <div> "What?" was Quentin's initial response.  Then, more cautiously, he asked:  "Why do you need those?"</div> <div> "I have been learning to drive, Quentin.  I would like to take a driving test.  Admiral Stuart will wonder why I don't try soon.  I know I must have those forms of identification.  I thought your friend could help me.  Please, I want to do this."</div> <div> "My God, I never thought of it.  Of course, Adam.  I'll take care of it.  Don't worry.  So it seems like things are going well there?"</div> <div> "Yes, they are going well.  As you know, though, this is just temporary.  I want to find Roxanne."  Adam hesitated a moment.  "If I find her right away, I think I will come back here.  The Stuarts have been very kind to me.  I think they will like Roxanne.  Mrs. Stuart is trying to get me to school.  That is another reason I need the identification."</div> <div> "School?"</div> <div> "Yes, night school.  I would learn a trade.  Perhaps later I will take college classes.  Right now I would like to learn how to fix boat engines."</div> <div> "Oh?" Quentin's voice scaled up.</div> <div> "Yes, I have looked at the Stuarts' car and I have fixed a few things, but I don't really know what I'm doing."</div> <div> "Why a boat?  Why not learn how to fix car engines?"</div> <div> "One is like another," Adam explained congenially. "I have called.  It is easier to get into a marine mechanics class than auto mechanics.  Those classes are not so crowded."</div> <div> "Well, hell, Adam, good for you!"  Quentin sounded upbeat but a little odd.  "Maggie and I may come down and see you into the city with Cyrus.  How would that be?"</div> <div> "I always like to see my friends," Adam responded, pleased.  He wondered, though, if Cyrus wanted Quentin and Maggie to come to avoid being alone with Adam.  He felt saddened at the change in his friendship with the doctor.  He missed their old camaraderie.  Now Cyrus seemed hurried when they talked, as if he had to go somewhere else.  He sounded distracted and uncomfortable, asking Adam only perfunctory questions about how he was getting along.</div> <div> He was greatly surprised when, upon their arrival back from another excursion to Jones Beach, Mrs. Stuart came out to greet Adam and stop him from returning directly to his cottage.  She looked surprised, and her face was a little flushed.  "Excuse me, Adam, I wanted to let you know that you got a phone call-"</div> <div> "Yes?" Adam asked eagerly.  He felt a strong surge of adrenaline shoot throughout his body.  Roxanne!</div> <div> "From your friend Quentin Collins-"</div> <div> "Yes?  Does he want me to call him?" Adam interrupted impatiently.</div> <div> "Oh, no.  He is already on his way down here, he and Sabrina-" She stopped as Adam's face blanched and he stared at her wide-eyed.  "Oh, it's nothing wrong, don't worry!  It's just that he is getting married, and they're all coming down, and it was a surprise to me-"</div> <div> It was a big surprise to Adam, too.  He felt as if he couldn't breathe.  "Married?  When?"</div> <div> "Saturday," Mrs. Stuart continued.  "You are invited, of course.  They are all flying down-into MacArthur Airport-this evening."</div> <div> "We will pick up Sabrina?" the rear admiral asked.  This was all a surprise to him, too.</div> <div> "No, Ed, Mr. Collins is renting a car.  They are going to drop Miss Evans off at her sister's and then they're all coming here."</div> <div> "Oh, my!" Adam exclaimed, overwhelmed.  If Quentin and Maggie were getting married now, something must have happened in his family.  What was happening with the investigation?  Was that detective still looking for Roxanne?  He fought down the urge to run to the phone-it was useless if everyone was already at the airport.</div> <div> "I thought the wedding was Palm Sunday, Ann?" Stuart's voice had a querulous, whining tone to it which Adam had come to recognize meant that he was overwhelmed.</div> <div> "I know, Ed, this is such a surprise to me too," his wife was answering in a soothing tone.  "I expect Sabrina will tell us about it when she gets here."</div> <div> Adam waited anxiously for his friends to arrive.  He was glad Sabrina was coming along because Admiral Stuart wouldn't want to go to Jones Beach until after his daughter arrived.  He did work with the older man, going through his physical therapy exercises.  During a break, the old man said:  "After you come back we'll go so you can take your…" He broke off, searching for the word.  "For the car.  The test."</div> <div> "Yes, all right.  Do you think I can pass the driver's test?" Adam asked, inserting the correct phrases in nonchalantly.</div> <div> "Yes-more pa-pa-parking between the cones."</div> <div> "I'm not much good at parallel parking."</div> <div> "Don't worry.  You won't fail because of that."  There was the sound of car doors slamming, and the old man turned his head toward the window expectantly.  "Sabrina!"  </div> <div> Adam looked out the window.  Sure enough, it was his friends. "Ed!  They're here!"  Mrs. Stuart was calling.  Admiral Stuart got to his feet slowly.  He was walking independently now, a slow shuffling shamble.   One arm was still basically useless, but he was proud that he could get around by himself.  Adam hesitated at the window.  He could see Sabrina and Dr. Cyrus were exchanging heated words.  Quentin stood rocking on his heels, hands shoved deeply in his pockets, looking up at the sky.</div> <div> "Sabrina darling!" Mrs. Stuart was calling from the front door.  Adam left the window and followed Admiral Stuart out onto the walk.  Sabrina was approaching her parents slowly, her face red.   She and her mother embraced and murmured to each other.  Then Sabrina turned to her father.  </div> <div> Adam stood just behind them, feeling awkward.  Cyrus and Quentin had begun to come up the walk, but Cyrus stopped near Sabrina.  Quentin reached around and shook hands with Adam.  "You ready for this?" he asked.</div> <div> "Ready?  For your wedding?  Or my operation?"</div> <div> Quentin laughed.  "Both!"</div> <div> "Well, one is a surprise and one is not."  He was about to ask what happened when he heard the rear admiral exclaiming.  He and Quentin both turned.</div> <div> "What for?  We've never done that!" Stuart exclaimed.</div> <div> Mrs. Stuart was trying to shush him.  "Well, we'll talk when you come back then, " she was saying to her daughter.</div> <div> Puzzled, Adam turned to Quentin.  "Where are they going?"</div> <div> "To church," Quentin said abruptly.  His tone told Adam not to ask anything else.  Adam watched Sabrina and Cyrus get back into the car and drive off.  Mrs. Stuart was walking her husband back into the house, and he was still complaining.</div> <div> The rear admiral stopped suddenly.  "The hell with it!"  He looked at Adam.  "You want to drive?"</div> <div> "Sure," said Adam, feeling that everyone needed the distraction.  </div> <div> "Get Steve!" </div> <div> Adam moved toward the kitchen obediently.  When he wasn't needed, Steve tended to hang around the kitchen.  Quentin followed.  "Why church?" Adam asked.</div> <div> "It's Ash Wednesday," Quentin explained.</div> <div> "Oh."  Adam didn't understand the significance of it.  He knew about Palm Sunday and Easter.  He didn't remember reading anything about Ash Wednesday before.  He wondered what it was about.  "Everything is so confusing.  I didn't expect to see Dr. Cyrus until Monday.  Now you are getting married on Saturday.  I thought you were getting married on Palm Sunday?"</div> <div> "Yes, well, plans change," Quentin answered shortly.  Again, Adam had a feeling this was something not up for discussion.</div> <div> "What about Roxanne?"</div> <div> They entered the kitchen, and Steve looked up from the table.  He was reading the paper.  "I'll talk to you about it later," Quentin said.  "He's still looking."</div> <div> Adam groaned inwardly.  "You brought my papers?"</div> <div> "Yup, got them in my suitcase."</div> <div> Adam was relieved.  It would be useful having a driver's license once the surgery was finished.  Then he could come back to Collinsport and Rockport, looking for Roxanne on his own.  Yes, this drive would be a welcome distraction-and give him more practice so that he could pass the test.</div> <bR> <div> Adam tried hard not to laugh at Cyrus and Sabrina at the dinner table.  They both had black smudges on their foreheads.  He controlled himself admirably until it was time to turn in.   Although Cyrus and Quentin were staying in guestrooms at the house, they both walked with Adam back to his cottage to keep him company for a little while.  As soon as they were outside, Adam began to laugh.  "Why do you have black charcoal on your head?" he asked Cyrus.</div> <div> Cyrus wasn't amused.  "It's a sign of repentance.  That is what Ash Wednesday is all about."</div> <div> "I didn't know.  If you had visited, perhaps you would have told me about it," Adam answered, allowing his resentment of Cyrus' neglect to show.</div> <div> Cyrus was stung.  "I'm sorry.  I-I've tried to call you regularly.  I-I-I've been very busy lately."</div> <div> "More mirror research," Quentin jibed.  "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the baddest one of all?"</div> <div> "That's unkind, Quentin," Cyrus snapped.  </div> <div> "I'm sorry.  Guess I'm just nervous."</div> <div> "Impulsive, you mean.  I don't think this was a good idea at all."</div> <div> "I don't recall asking you."</div> <div> Adam was opening the door to his house, feeling alarmed at the rising voices of his two friends.  "Come in," he invited.</div> <div> Cyrus and Quentin walked past him as if he wasn't there.  "I'm the best man-I'm supposed to be looking out for you're interests.  You're just doing this to be spiteful! How do you suppose Daniel felt, being left like that in Boston?  You didn't even tell him until we got there-"</div> <div> "Knock it off, Cyrus!" Quentin's eyes glittered with growing anger.</div> <div> "Please stop.  I don't like this!"  Adam stepped in between the two men.  "If you are going to fight, you can't do it here.  You have to leave."  Both men looked at him with astonishment.  Then Quentin began to laugh wildly.  </div> <div> Cyrus looked irritated, and then the corners of his mouth began to twitch. "I just hope you don't regret this, Quentin," he said.</div> <div> "I'll bring Pepsi," Adam announced, relieved that the fight seemed to be over.</div> <div> "And pizza," Quentin added.</div> <div> Adam returned from the kitchen with the Pepsi and pizza.  He was eager to talk about Roxanne.  "What has your friend said about Claude North?"  He didn't miss the startled look Cyrus threw Quentin.  <I>Quentin didn't tell him,</I> he thought, dismayed.  As if to confirm his suspicion, Quentin shifted uncomfortably in his seat.</div> <div> Reaching for a slice of the cold pizza, his friend said, "Well, he knows that there <I>was</I> a Claude North living in Rockport.  He left abruptly, left no forwarding address.  No one saw him go, so Tony doesn't know if he's alone or not.  He's going to try and trace our friend, but it's not going to be easy."</div> <div> "Why?"</div> <div> "Well, apparently he has no social security card."</div> <div> Adam frowned.  "So?"</div> <div> "So that's the easiest way to track someone.  Everyone needs a social security card, Adam-even you.  You have to have a social security card to work legally, to vote, to buy a house or a car-"</div> <div> "To have surgery?" Adam interrupted.</div> <div> "You already have a card," Cyrus put in.  "I arranged that."</div> <div> "Why didn't you tell me?" Adam asked, shocked.</div> <div> "I was going to-at the right time.  When Quentin said you needed a social security number for your driver's license, well, I told him I'd arranged one for you-and a birth certificate, too."</div> <div> "Apparently Cyrus has lots of contacts of his own," Quentin said dryly.  Cyrus gave him an odd, angry look.</div> <div> Feeling disturbed, Adam pressed on.  He wanted to know about Roxanne.  "What does Tony say about Roxanne?"</div> <div> "That she's disappeared without a trace.  He says it's odd that there's been no sign of her-she hasn't shown up at her house to get her things, hasn't picked up her paycheck."  Quentin looked troubled.   "You know, Adam, that's the part that really gets me."</div> <div> "What are you talking about?  Obviously she just left with this person-" Cyrus began.</div> <div> "But why didn't she go home for her clothes?" Quentin interrupted.  "Why didn't she pick up her paycheck?  It doesn't make any sense!"</div> <div> "Perhaps she felt she didn't need it," Cyrus argued.</div> <div> "Why do you believe she left me willingly, Dr. Cyrus?"  Adam asked, feeling both hurt and suspicious. </div> <div> Cyrus spluttered.  "I tell you, she was not dragged away."  He looked away and continued heatedly, "She seemed glad to see the man, Adam.  She <I>wanted</I> to go with him.  In fact, she <I>asked</I> to."</div> <div> Adam hit the table with his fist.  "No!" he roared.</div> <div> Cyrus looked hurt and offended.  "Do you believe I am lying to you?"</div> <div> "I don't know what to believe!" Adam cried, his voice full of pain.  "You are my friend, Dr. Cyrus.  I trusted you-I still trust you!  Yet, I just don't understand-none of this makes any sense!"</div> <div> Cyrus got up abruptly.  "I'm sorry for you, Adam.  Truly, I am.  I have been your friend.  I am your friend still.  It hurts me that you think I might be lying to you.  Perhaps I better go-we can talk about this some more tomorrow."  He strode out the door before anyone could say or do anything to stop him.</div> <div> Adam felt terrible.  He never meant to hurt Cyrus.  He looked at Quentin with wounded eyes.  "Do you believe Roxanne left me?"</div> <div> Quentin shrugged, looking uncomfortable.  "Right now, I don't know what to think.  It doesn't make sense that she'd just leave all her things and her paycheck behind.  It doesn't make sense that no one has seen her since that day in the hospital."  He looked down at his feet.</div> <div> "You don't want to think that Dr. Cyrus might be lying," Adam said softly.  "I don't want to believe it either."  Suddenly, he thought of something.  "Quentin!  What if that bad man had a knife and he made Roxanne go away with him quietly?  Maybe Dr. Cyrus isn't lying!"  His voice took on a hopeful note.  Quentin looked up at him, and it seemed that he, too, seemed relieved.  It <I>was</I> possible.  "No matter what happened, I must find her, Quentin!"  Adam looked as stubbornly determined as he sounded.</div> <bR> <bR> <div>      On Valentine's Day, Adam found himself sitting alone on the groom's side of the church they'd visited in Islip.  From the way Cyrus had been haranguing Quentin, Adam assumed that no one would be at this wedding, and that would be terrible for poor Maggie.  However, he was pleased to see that Quentin and Maggie had accomplished a lot more than they'd let on.  There were ribbons tied to every pew, and flowers adorned the altar.  The bride's side of the church was respectably filled with friends and distant relatives of the two Evans sisters.  Adam knew that their mother would not be there.  He wondered if she remembered or even knew Maggie was getting married.</div> <div>      There were a couple of ushers, possibly friends of Quentin's.  Adam didn't recognize them.  He knew that Quentin and Cyrus were in a little room off the altar somewhere, waiting for Maggie and her sister to arrive.  He felt a movement behind him; surprised, he turned to see Daniel sliding into the pew behind him.  A tall, thin woman with upswept white hair was joining Daniel, gently taking her hand from the arm of the usher.  There was a couple behind them and a few more children.  Daniel's face looked like a thundercloud.</div> <div>      "Daniel," Adam whispered to him.  </div> <div>      Daniel looked at him blankly; then his eyes lit up with surprise.  "You're that guy from New York.  Adam, right?"</div> <div>      "Yes," Adam said, reaching his hand over to shake Daniel's hand.  Surprised and pleased, Daniel took it.</div> <div>      "This is my aunt Nancy," Daniel said in a grown up manner.  "I mean, she's my father's aunt, but she's my aunt, too.  And these are some of my cousins coming in.  My father's cousins-mine, too.  But not Collinses."  He'd started out fine, but now he sounded as if he was confusing himself.  He stopped.  "Aunt Nancy, this is Adam-um-"</div> <div>      "Knight," Adam put in.  He held his hand out to the older woman, who took his hand in his gently.  "How do you do?"</div> <div>      "Quentin has spoken of you," she said in a genteel, soft voice.  "I am very happy to meet another of his friends.  You are not from Collinsport, then?"</div> <div>      "Not any more."</div> <div>      "It's a charming town but it seems to be a difficult place to live," the aunt observed.</div> <div>      "Very," Adam agreed.  He looked with interest at the other relatives, and Aunt Nancy introduced Adam to Quentin's cousins and their children.  Adam was relieved that he wouldn't be the only person to represent Quentin's side of the family.  More people were coming in.  Adam was surprised and frightened to see two more people he recognized from Collinsport.  The man entered the church with Carolyn and a little girl; they sat down in the very last pew on the groom's side.  <I>Maybe they don't want to be seen</I>, he thought, turning around abruptly.  He didn't want them to see him-he was afraid Carolyn would recognize him.  The man she was with had been at the party, but it wasn't that awful Willie Loomis.  Adam assumed the little girl was Amy. </div> <div>      <I>I can't remember the man's name anyway</I>, he realized.  He hadn't seen this man since the night of the Halloween party.  He was of medium size, an attractive young man with sandy hair.  He'd been one of the first people Adam had seen in the room when he appeared in Collinwood from the other time.  </div> <div> Movement from the small room off the altar distracted him.  Quentin and Cyrus had come in with the minister.  Adam thought their tuxes were very handsome-Quentin was in white; Adam had never seen that color before and decided when he found Roxanne, he wanted a white tux, too.  He wasn't sure who looked more nervous, the groom or the best man.  Adam realized that Quentin had seen the people way in the back of the church; he turned and whispered to Cyrus, who turned his head slightly to look.  </div> <div>      Quentin's eyes met Adam's, and he smiled nervously.  His saw his son next and his aunt, and he seemed to relax a little.  There was some commotion at the front of the church, and Quentin seemed to become tense with anticipation again, straining to see.  Cyrus was whispering to him, but he obviously wasn't listening to his friend.  The organ music stopped playing the light classical pieces Adam had always enjoyed listening to.  The opening strains of what Adam referred to as the "marrying music" began.  </div> <div> "Oh, brother," Daniel muttered audibly.  If he thought he could get his father's attention, he was wrong.  Quentin was looking toward the church doors, his face flushed with excitement.</div> <div>      Adam caught a quick glimpse of Maggie before everyone got to their feet.  Sabrina and one of the ushers came down the aisle first, followed by another couple Adam didn't know.  Maggie was coming next.  Adam turned to watch her come down the aisle and wished that it were he standing at the altar waiting for Roxanne.  He thought that Maggie had never looked lovelier, but he truly believed his Roxanne would outshine every other bride in the world.  Adam didn't know the older man who was escorting Maggie down the aisle.  Perhaps it was an uncle of hers.  Behind her came her sister Jennifer, carefully carrying Maggie's train.   Everyone took their places at the foot of the altar, where the pastor was now waiting.</div> <div>      The pastor cleared his throat and asked:  "Who gives this woman in marriage?"</div> <div>      The older man answered rather huskily, "I do."  He carefully lifted Maggie's veil, kissed her on the cheek, took her by the hand and turned her toward Quentin.  The man put Maggie's hand into Quentin's, who quickly took her other hand in his as well.  They grasped hands tightly, two against the world it seemed to Adam.  They only looked at each other.  Adam only half listened to the words himself, his eyes filling with tears of joy and sorrow.  </div> <div>      Suddenly, he was sure of one thing: there would be no surgery on Monday.  He would make an excuse to Cyrus, cancel the appointment somehow-or better yet, rearrange it.  He would ask Rear Admiral Stuart and Steve to take him to the Department of Motor Vehicles with his doctored papers and he would take his drivers' test.  If he passed, he was going back to Collinsport, determined to find Roxanne even if he had to search for her building by building.</div> <bR> <div>      Adam was surprised to hear the pastor introducing "Mr. and Mrs. Quentin Collins to the congregation.  Quentin and Maggie, arm in arm were walking past him now, and he realized he'd been thinking about Roxanne throughout the whole ceremony.  He stood up and got in line with the other people filing out of the church.  There were more people here than he'd realized-maybe a hundred all together.</div> <div>      "Do you have some rice, Mr. Knight?" Quentin's aunt was asking him.</div> <div>      "Rice?" Adam asked, blankly.  <I>What would I be doing with rice?</I></div> <div>      Daniel was reaching out with his hand.  "Here," he said abruptly.  "You can have mine."</div> <div>      Puzzled, Adam accepted the rice from the boy.  Aunt Nancy was saying guilelessly, "Why, how kind of you to share, Daniel.  Of course, I'll share some of mine with you."  <I>Oh, no, </I>Adam thought with dismay.  <I>I'd better watch everyone else and see what they do.</I></div> <div>      Quentin and Maggie stood at the top step just outside the church, oblivious to the February chill, looking exhilarated.  Beside them, Sabrina and Cyrus stood on the lower steps, looking cold and uncomfortable.  The other ushers and the other woman stood on the steps just below.  As the guests left the church, they were shaking the bride and groom's hands and then the hands of the other members of the wedding party.  Adam was puzzled to see the guests then lining up along the sidewalk.  He wondered what they were all waiting for.</div> <div>      As Adam took Quentin's hand and kissed Maggie on the cheek, he realized they were hardly aware of him and probably weren't aware of the other people either.  <I>They are so happy, they can only think of each other</I>.  Cyrus barely acknowledged him; Adam thought the doctor looked like he was freezing to death.  He was shivering visibly, but it really wasn't that cold.  When Adam stood before Sabrina, he whispered urgently, "The rice?"</div> <div>      "Oh!" Sabrina exclaimed.  She seemed a little distracted herself.  "The rice-it's for good luck, Adam.  Throw it at Quentin and Maggie."</div> <div>      He wasn't sure he heard right.  "Throw it?"</div> <div>      "Oh, not hard.  Toss it at them-wait for the other people, and then you toss the rice them when they come down."</div> <div>      It sounded bizarre, but Adam nodded.  He joined Quentin's aunt and Daniel at the foot of the stairs.  He looked up and saw Quentin reacting to the sandy haired man, grinning broadly and thumping him on the shoulder. He grabbed the little girl and picked her up in his arms, giving her a kiss and a squeeze.  "Who are they?" Adam leaned down and whispered to Daniel.</div> <div>      Daniel looked miserable.  He made a face.  "Oh, that's just Cousin Chris and Amy.  I don't know why <I>they</I> came!"</div> <div>      Adam thought that Quentin was glad to see them. Now Quentin was hugging Carolyn.  When Carolyn turned and made her way down the rest of the line, Adam ducked his head so that she wouldn't get a clear look at him.  He hoped she wouldn't recognize him.  </div> <div> The rest of the wedding party came down the steps and took their places at the foot of the stairs.  "Get ready," Aunt Nancy said to Daniel.  Quentin and Maggie, holding hands, began to walk down the steps quickly, almost running.  People began tossing rice at them from both sides.  The couple threw their free hands up to shield their faces.  Adam laughed-what a silly custom.  He noticed Daniel drawing his arm back to hurl the rice and managed to stop the boy just in time.  Daniel gave him a look that would curdle milk.</div> <div>      Quentin and Maggie were already in the limousine, waving as it pulled away.  Adam felt suddenly let down and terribly lonely.  "Adam, you'll come with us to the reception, won't you?" Sabrina asked at his elbow.  He looked down at her blankly.  Reception?  "It's at the country club in East Islip.  Quentin and Maggie both want you to come."  </div> <div>      "Sabrina, we've got to get into the other limo now," Cyrus was saying.  </div> <div>      "How will I get there?" Adam asked.</div> <div>      "I'll drive you," Aunt Nancy volunteered.  Adam looked at her and nodded gratefully.  Cyrus grabbed Sabrina's elbow and pulled her toward the second limousine.  "We'll have a chance to chat on the way over," Quentin's aunt continued.  "I am glad that my nephew has another friend to rely on."</div> <div>      "Yes, but I don't live in Collinsport now," Adam pointed out.</div> <div>      "That doesn't matter.  What matters is that you are his friend."  Adam noted the determined set of her jaw.  He thought he could see some resemblance between Aunt Nancy and her nephew.  It was obvious she loved him very much.  Adam instinctively felt drawn to her.</div> <div>      "He has been good to me," Adam told her.  "He treated me kindly when I first came to town.  I didn't know anybody."</div> <div>      "Yes, he has a large heart," Aunt Nancy agreed.  "He can only give and give so much, though." This was said as an afterthought and in an undertone.  Adam had a feeling that she was not pleased with the Collins family but elected to keep quiet about it.  He was impressed with her car-a dark blue Lincoln Continental.  Pleased, he realized he would be very comfortable in it.  Daniel was trailing along behind them, and Adam thought he might want to ride in the front with his great aunt, but he got into the back and slammed the door.  "What's the matter, Daniel?" his aunt asked.  "You've been out of sorts all morning."</div> <div>      "Awwww," Daniel whined.  "Do I have to go to this reception?  I'll be sooo bored!"</div> <div>      "Your cousin Amy will be there," Adam pointed out.</div> <div>      "Oh, great, a girl!" Daniel said contemptuously.</div> <div>      "Mark and Steven will be there, too, Daniel.  You mustn't show this face at the reception.  I know that you didn't want your father to marry Maggie," Aunt Nancy said reproachfully.  "The thing is, he fell in love and he married her.  She's a nice girl, Maggie is, and she'll be good to you."</div> <div>      "She's not my mother!" Daniel snapped.</div> <div>      As Adam got into the seat beside Aunt Nancy, he heard her say, almost under her breath again, "Praise God for <I>that</I>!"  So, Aunt Nancy had not liked Angelique either.  </div> <div> Adam wondered if Aunt Nancy knew that Quentin's brother was really Daniel's father.  <I>Do all families keep such secrets?</I> He wondered.  <I>When I find Roxanne, I will never ever keep any secrets from her.  I will tell her everything she wants to know, anytime she asks.</I>  He knew Roxanne had kept secrets from him-who exactly Claude North was, for instance.  <I>If I had known how dangerous he was, perhaps I could have protected you from him, Roxanne.</I>  He felt an inner pain again; it felt like a hole in his inner being.  <I>A piece of me is missing now</I>, he grieved.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Adam wandered around the outskirts of the big room at the Country Club.  He preferred to stay over by the windows, which had a magnificent view of the grounds and the Great South Bay.  He thought he would enjoy learning about boats and going out on the Bay-especially once he found Roxanne again.  Behind him, the music played, and the couples danced.  He felt incredibly lonely as he watched the couples slow dancing and that was when he'd wandered restlessly to the windows.</div> <div> "Adam, are you all right?"  He turned and saw that it was Sabrina standing there.  "You're missing Roxanne, aren't you?"</div> <div> "Yes, of course," he answered, his words soft and measured.</div> <div> "Of course," she repeated.  "I'm sorry."</div> <div> "It's not your fault.  I love her.  She's gone from me, and I miss her.  But it's not your fault."</div> <div> "I remember the feeling-that's what I meant.  And I am sorry this is happening to you."  Sabrina hesitated.  "Adam, I understand how you feel.  There was a time that Cyrus left me, and I thought I would die."  She looked off into the distance, out the window.  "To be honest with you, I miss him still.  For a while I thought I'd gotten him back, but I feel as if he is gone from me again."</div> <div> Adam knew exactly what she meant.  Dr. Cyrus had become so strange now, almost completely unlike himself.  "Where is he?"</div> <div> "Oh, he excused himself to go for a walk.  He wanted to go alone."</div> <div> "Then perhaps you would like to dance with me?"  Adam asked.  Sabrina looked at him, startled, her eyes half-filled with tears.  "I don't mean anything by it, Sabrina.  We both love other people, but we are lonely here.  And we should not be lonely at Quentin and Maggie's wedding."</div> <div> "I would like to dance with you, Adam," Sabrina said, her voice catching.</div> <div> Adam led her to the dance floor, grateful that Roxanne had taught him to dance.  He wasn't as accomplished as Quentin and smiled as he watched his friend glide gracefully across the floor with his bride.  Still, he knew he wouldn't crush Sabrina's toes and would be able to twirl and dip her if he felt like it.</div> <div> "Are you all ready for Monday?" Sabrina asked conversationally.</div> <div> "Shall I tell you a secret, Sabrina?  You won't tell anyone?"</div> <div> Sabrina looked up at him.  "A secret?  What is it?"</div> <div> "I'm going back to Collinsport-maybe tomorrow, maybe Monday."</div> <div> She pulled back and looked at him, her mouth falling open a little.  "What on earth for?"</div> <div> "Don't tell Cyrus," Adam begged her, pulling her closer to him so that he could whisper into her ear.  "I am going to find Roxanne.  I will find her, Sabrina."</div> <div> "Oh," Sabrina breathed.  She sounded awed.  "I won't say anything, Adam, I promise."</div> <div> "Thank you," Adam said gratefully.  He began to move across the floor a little faster now, relaxed and happy now that he'd shared his secret.  It was as if by telling Sabrina that he was going to find Roxanne it would become so.  He would find her, he knew he would.  He smiled contentedly putting his faith in the conviction that he would be reunited with his beloved soon.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id95.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: Sabrina"><U>Puzzle Pieces:  Sabrina</U></A>    <A HREF="id97.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Puzzle Pieces: The Collins Family"><U>Puzzle Pieces:  The Collins Family</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id85.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Adam in Parallel Time"><U>Adam in Parallel Time</U></A>     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cassies Writing"><U>Cassie's Writing</U></A></div> <bR> <div>       </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>