4: Secrets Revealed

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#CC9900" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="047005a0dwnjzk.gif"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cassies Writing"><U><B>home</B></U></A><B>     | </B><B> </B><B> </B><B>  </B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Arial" ><B>Cassie's Writing</B></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id109.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="1: Stolen Memories"><U><B>1:  Stolen Memories</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id110.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="2: A Complex Puzzle"><U><B>2:  A Complex Puzzle</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id111.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="3: Peeling the Onion"><U><B>3:  Peeling the Onion</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><B>4:  Secrets Revealed</B><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id113.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="5: Going Home Again"><U><B>5:  Going Home Again</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id114.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="6: ThingintheBox"><U><B>6:  Thing-in-the-Box</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id116.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="7: Challenging the Leviathan"><U><B>7:  Challenging the Leviathan</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id117.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="8: Circling the Wagons"><U><B>8:  Circling the Wagons</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id118.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="9: Jebs Curse"><U><B>9:  Jeb's Curse</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id119.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="10: Spell of Jealousy"><U><B>10:  Spell of Jealousy</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id120.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="11: Carrying the Weight"><U><B>11:  Carrying the Weight</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id121.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="12: A Fiendish New Year"><U><B>12:  A Fiendish New Year</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id122.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="13: Barnabas Crisis"><U><B>13:  Barnabas' Crisis</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id123.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="14: Barnabas in Parallel Time"><U><B>14:  Barnabas in Parallel Time</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id124.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="15: Clues to Disaster"><U><B>15:  Clues to Disaster</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id125.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="16: Demons Possession"><U><B>16:  Demon's Possession</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id126.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="17: Breach of Trust"><U><B>17:  Breach of Trust</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id127.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="18: Labyrinth of Emotions"><U><B>18:  Labyrinth of Emotions</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id128.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="19: The Amanda Dilemma"><U><B>19:  The Amanda Dilemma</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id129.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="20: Ziganas Cure"><U><B>20:  Zigana's Cure</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id130.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="21: The Approaching Storm"><U><B>21:  The Approaching Storm</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id131.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="22: Enigma at Collinwood"><U><B>22:  Enigma at Collinwood</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id132.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="23: Reunion in Hell"><U><B>23:  Reunion in Hell</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id133.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="24: Scattered Through Time"><U><B>24:  Scattered Through Time</B></U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>4:  Secrets Revealed</B></div> <div> <A HREF="id107.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alternate Destiny"><U><B>Alternate Destiny</B></U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div>      "Do you feel like we've been gone for days?" Quentin asked as he and Amanda walked out of the woods and onto the street leading back to Professor Osmund's house.</div> <div>      "What if we have?  Julia will have called the police!" Amanda answered in a worried tone.  "And my agent!  I promised I would call him today."</div> <div>      Quentin started to laugh.  He looked at Amanda and stopped, taken aback at her appearance. There was not a hair out of place.  She was as carefully coifed and made-up as always.  "Hey-you don't look like you've been to hell and back."</div> <div>      "Neither do you," Amanda replied.  She didn't look surprised at all, but she did smile.  She smoothed his coat lapels.  It was a navy style pea coat, and it was a vast improvement over that trenchcoat.  Amanda had encouraged him to buy a suede-fringed jacket, but he wanted something he knew would keep him warm.</div> <div>      "I feel like it, though," he said, putting his arm back around her waist.  The limo was still parked alongside the curb; Mr. Nakamura looked alert.  How much time had gone by? He wondered.</div> <div>      "I'm tired, too," Amanda agreed.  "Why don't we just make our excuses to Julia and go?"</div> <div>      "Or we can invite her to dinner and tell her everything first-then we can crash."  He knocked at Professor Osmund's door.  He didn't want to just brush Julia off, remembering her concern for him.</div> <div>      "Maybe I just wanted to be alone with you," Amanda purred, pouting a little.</div> <div>      "Well, we can.  What did Mr. Best say?  We have `eternity'," Quentin said indulgently.  The word suddenly flashed back again in his mind.  Eternity?</div> <div>      Julia opened the door.  "Oh, thank God!  You were able to find her in time!" she exclaimed.</div> <div>      "Actually, no," Quentin answered.  "It's been a rough night, Julia. How long have we been gone?"</div> <div> Julia looked surprised.  "Less than an hour."</div> <div> Quentin laughed.  "Well, it feels like we've been gone all night! You want to go get something to eat?"</div> <div>      Julia began to answer, looked toward Amanda, and then looked at Quentin, her eyes wide.  "Well, I-I-don't want to intrude."  Quentin looked at Amanda suspiciously and caught her giving Julia what could only be called a dirty look.  "How are you feeling?  Are you all right?"</div> <div>      "Very tired, but you wouldn't be intruding, Julia, really," Quentin insisted.</div> <div>      "Well," Julia hesitated again.</div> <div>      "Come on," he urged her.  He looked at Amanda.  "We can get something sent over-pizza if nothing else."</div> <div>      "Pizza?" Amanda echoed, pursing her mouth with distaste.  Quentin laughed at the look on her face.  She didn't look amused.  "What's so funny?" she demanded.</div> <div>      "You looked like I'd just suggested fried worms or something," he answered.  "Come on, everyone likes pizza, Amanda!"</div> <div>      "I'm sure I can get Chinese food delivered," Amanda said with as much dignity as she could muster.  She turned and stalked back to her limo.</div> <div>      "Really, Quentin, I don't have to come-" Julia began.</div> <div>      "Nonsense," Quentin interrupted.  Julia was coming whether she wanted to or not.  Now he had a point to prove.  "You have a car?"</div> <div>      "Of course," Julia answered.  She hesitated.  "Quentin?"</div> <div>      He'd already turned toward his motorcycle as the limousine pulled away from the curb and left.  He turned back toward her.  "What?"</div> <div>      He could see that Julia looked very uncomfortable.  He thought she was going to try and beg off again, but apparently she'd decided on a different tactic.  "Why don't I pick up some wine and meet you at your suite?"</div> <div>      "All right," he agreed. Maybe it would was better this way-he'd have a chance to talk to Amanda for a few minutes before Julia arrived.</div> <bR> <div>      "What's the matter?" he asked, closing the door behind him.  It was dark in the suite, but he could see Amanda on the sofa.  She was probably sulking.</div> <div>      "Well, I just don't understand you at all!  After everything we've been through and after what you said, I can't understand why you'd have <I>her</I> come over and keep us company tonight!  I thought you wanted to make love to me!  I thought you loved me!"</div> <div>      "Do you mind if I turn the light on?"  He didn't wait for an answer, turning the light switch on.  She was curled up on the sofa, looking like she was about to cry.  "Oh, Amanda!" He felt aggravated and irritated.  He sat next to her on the sofa.  "Look, it would be one thing if she hadn't been there when it happened.   She was there, and she was trying to help me.  She's been a good friend-not just to me, either.  She's been your friend, too."</div> <div>      "Oh! How can you say that!" Amanda objected.</div> <div>      "She helped you with me, didn't she?  Didn't she?"</div> <div>      "Well-" This was said grudgingly.  She looked at Quentin.  "I just wanted to be alone with you, that's all."</div> <div>      "We'll be alone, we will." He kissed her temple.  "Come on."  He put his arm around her.  "Are you really going to tell me you never ate a pizza?"</div> <div>      She grimaced and then smiled.  "No.  It's just messy."</div> <div>      He laughed.  "Lots of things are messy!"</div> <div>      "Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to touch it if it is!" Amanda exclaimed.  She was really smiling now.</div> <div>      He shook his head at her.  "It'd be a shame to miss out on all messy things, you know.  Lots of them taste good-or they're fun to touch."</div> <div>      "Ohhh!" She exclaimed, and swatted him lightly on the arm.  "All right, call for a pizza, then, and I'll call my agent while we're waiting." He gave a little sigh of relief and started to get up, but she pulled him back.  Surprised, he began to turn toward her.  She threw her arms around him and kissed him.</div> <div>      This was much better.  He was beginning to get warm and finally managed to say, "You were always hesitant to do that before-I mean, here, the last time." He stopped, confused.  "Before you left for New York, I mean.  But I like it."</div> <div>      "Yes," she laughed.  "I'm not so shy.  I can tell you like it--you're tongue-tied.  Go call for the pizza before your doctor friend gets here."</div> <div>      He paused only to look at her a little reproachfully.  "She's <I>your</I> friend, too."  Amanda smiled and nodded, but he didn't think she meant it at all.</div> <bR> <div>      Julia showed up at almost the same time the pizza did.  She still seemed ill at ease, and Amanda did little to alleviate that.  She took the bottle of wine, looked at it, and gave Julia a condescending little smile.  "Oh, how nice," she said, too brightly.  "What an interesting brand."</div> <div>      Quentin took the bottle.  "I'll open it," he said, using a charming voice to throw Julia off.  He turned so that only Amanda could see his face and scowled at her fiercely.  He walked over to the bar for a corkscrew.  He removed it with expert ease.  He poured out three glasses and handed them around.  </div> <div> The pizzas arrived then.  They came with paper plates and napkins.  Quentin pulled the pieces apart and handed one to Julia.  "Oh, just a minute!" Amanda exclaimed and went into her room.</div> <div>      Quentin put a slice of pizza on a plate for Amanda and then served himself.  He picked his slice up, folded it in half, and bit into it.  It wasn't bad.  It wasn't as good as New York City pizza, but it wasn't the worst he'd ever tasted either.  He felt a little awkward around Julia, embarrassed by Amanda's attitude toward her.</div> <div>      "You seem to be taking it all in stride pretty well," Julia remarked.</div> <div>      "Well, Julia, this is my life," Quentin answered with a laugh.  "Welcome to my world."</div> <div>      "So you remember everything then?" Julia asked.</div> <div>      He looked at her, wondering if there was a hidden question within her question.  "All of it," he answered carefully.  Amanda came back into the room, carrying a knife and fork.  Quentin watched her, amazed, as she sat down and calmly cut into her pizza slice.  Julia ignored her and picked up her slice and folded it in half, too.</div> <div>      Amanda noticed Quentin's scrutiny.  "You're gawking at me," she remarked.  "It's rude."  She looked at Julia.  "Well," she went on pleasantly.  "How satisfying for you to be able to close a case."</div> <div>      "I hope so," Julia returned, with an equally pleasant smile.  She no longer seemed off balance.  "I was hoping to come to that conclusion."</div> <div>      Amanda's smile faded a little.  "Oh?  And what would determine your coming to that conclusion, Doctor Hoffman?"</div> <div>      "The well being of my patient," Julia answered.  She gave Amanda a very charming smile.  "I am sure you would not want anything less-you love Quentin.  You told me so, and you must want what is best for him."</div> <div>      "Of course," Amanda answered, her smile beginning to look "pasted on".</div> <div>      Quentin remembered when, as Grant Douglas, he'd watched them tussling over him and had gotten a kick out of it.  He was trying hard not to laugh.  He was sure Amanda would kick him under the table if he did.  "I'm not terribly traumatized by all this, Julia," he told her.  "There is a thing or two I'd like to talk to you about."  He saw Amanda's expression change and added hastily, "It's no big deal, nothing to get uptight about."</div> <div>      "Does it have anything to do with me?" Amanda asked.</div> <div>      "No," he answered, somewhat truthfully.  Ultimately, there was something bothering him with respect to Amanda but there was nothing that could be done about it now anyway.</div> <div>      "Hmm!" Amanda exclaimed.  "I suppose you'll want to go lie on Julia's couch then!"  As if realizing how her words sounded, she cushioned them with a bright smile.</div> <div>      Quentin wasn't fooled, however, and he felt annoyed with her again.  "Once or twice.  I promise that's all I will do is lie there."  He gave her a dazzling smile.</div> <div>      Julia cleared her throat.  "I'd really like to clear the air here," she said in a determined, no-nonsense tone.  "Amanda, I think I know how you really feel.  You'd like me to just go away and let you and Quentin get on with your lives.  There's nothing more I'd like to do.  I'm happy you two are together.  The fact is, though, that Quentin is my patient and a friend.  If nothing else, as his doctor, I want to make sure he is well and relatively happy."</div> <div>      "I see.  Well, thank you for your concern, Julia.  I'm sure you'll see for yourself that Quentin is well and happy."</div> <div>      "And he has family here, too, Amanda."</div> <div>      "Yes, I'd like to hear about them," Quentin put in.  "The last I heard, I was related to Carolyn Stoddard somehow.  A cousin, you said?"</div> <div>      "Yes, she is Elizabeth Stoddard's daughter," Julia began.</div> <div>      Quentin reacted before he could think.  "Elizabeth!" he exclaimed.  "How is she?"</div> <div>      Both women looked at him curiously.  He sighed.  Well, it was bound to come out.  "I haven't seen her in years," he explained lamely.  "The last time I saw her she was just a little girl.  That was before I went to Europe."  He saw that Julia was about to ask him a question and to forestall that, he asked:  "What about Roger?"</div> <div>      "Roger is at Collinwood, too," Julia answered, looking surprised.  "He has a son, David."</div> <div>      "David."  Quentin winced.  "That's the kid, isn't it?  The kid that I-" He broke off, unable to finish the sentence.  He hated the whole idea of hurting those children.</div> <div>      "He's fine, now," Julia assured him.  "Well, I mean, he's fine from that experience.  I am worried about him for another reason, though."  She seemed to be thinking about something.  "There's something I want to tell you, too, Quentin."</div> <div>      "About Barnabas?" he asked softly.  Julia nodded.</div> <div>      "Who?" Amanda asked. "Who is that?  Another cousin?"</div> <div>      "Yes," Quentin answered.  "Later, Julia, all right?"  Julia nodded. "What about Chris?  And his sister-Amy?"</div> <div>      "They are both-recovering from their experiences," Julia answered carefully.</div> <div>      "Chris is the man who practically kidnapped you the other night and dragged you off to that crazy old artist's house!"  Amanda sounded rather annoyed with Chris.  She looked at Julia.  "He was spying for you, I guess."</div> <div>      "Amanda!" Quentin said sharply.  "Chris is my great-grandson."</div> <div>      Amanda blushed furiously.  "Oh!"</div> <div>      "He's all right?" Quentin asked Julia anxiously.  He remembered it all-and he knew that Chris had killed Charles Delaware Tate and was living with the terrible guilt of it.</div> <div>      "As much as can be expected," Julia answered softly.  They understood each other.  </div> <div> He nodded, determined to make arrangements in the morning to see her privately.  He wanted to see Chris and talk to him.  He didn't know what he would say to him.  He wouldn't blame the guy if he just punched him right in the nose.  It's my fault, he thought.  I did this to him.     He felt a little subdued now.</div> <div> Amanda noticed and said graciously, "My agent asked me to come and see him, and it seems like maybe you do need to talk to Dr. Hoffman one more time.  Why don't I fly on down to the city tomorrow?  You can talk to Dr. Hoffman, and I can meet with my agent-and do a little Christmas shopping on my own."</div> <div> Quentin brightened.  "Hey, that's a great idea!" he exclaimed gratefully.</div> <div> "Of course," Amanda went on, "I wouldn't expect you'd need to talk to her all day anymore than I'd expect to be talking to my agent.  You'll have time to shop too."</div> <div> Hint, hint, thought Quentin.  "You better give Santa a wish list," he suggested, and Julia laughed.</div> <div> Setting her glass down, she stood up.  "Thank you both for inviting me back.  I enjoyed it.  Quentin-shall I call you first thing in the morning?"</div> <div> "Well, it depends on what time first thing is to you.  We might be on different time zones."  Quentin began to laugh.  "I'm usually a couple of hours behind everyone else."</div> <div> "In that case, why don't I come to see you around noon?  Would that be all right?"</div> <div> "Sounds perfect," Quentin said, walking her to the door.  He shut the door and turned back to Amanda.</div> <bR> <div> Quentin found the locket on his way back from the bathroom to her bed.  He was aware that Amanda was watching him as he picked it up to look at it.  He remembered giving it to her, turning it over in his hands and seeing the inscription "to AH from QC".  Smiling, he carried it to the bed and got in next to her.  Silk sheets, he realized, feeling the smooth fabric on his bare skin.  Very nice.  "You kept this all these years.  It still looks new," he marveled.</div> <div> "Usually it's locked up," Amanda told him.  "I was waiting to wear it."  He looked at her.  "For you to be with me, of course."</div> <div> "Oh!  Well, in that case, let's put it on you."  He unhooked the clasp as she sat up, letting the sheet fall off her.  She was naked, too, and very beautiful, he thought.  She looked perfect in every way-not a wrinkle or a mole or a scar anywhere.  Even her breasts were perfect twin copies of each other, perfectly round.  He put the locket around her neck and snapped the clasp in place.  He sat back a little to take in the effect.  "Lovely," he said, admiring her.  The locket hung between those two rounded breasts, just the right size for his hands.  He put his hands on them, cupping them, and kissed her.</div> <div> Later on, holding her in his arms, he said to her, "Amanda, I'm really sorry about what happened in New York. I had no idea you'd jump from a bridge.  I never would have left you alone if I'd known.  Do you believe me?"  He was feeling guilty again, thinking about her and Chris and Beth and all the other people he couldn't save.</div> <div> "Yes," she answered after a moment, and he wondered if she really did.  "I didn't understand why you left me.  Why did you?"</div> <div> He began to stroke her shoulder absently, wondering if he should tell her everything.  Why not?  He was sort of responsible for her now-and it seemed she was an immortal now, too.  "It had to do with the portrait," he began, and felt her stiffen.  "That portrait really frightened you, didn't it?  That's why you ran from the room?"</div> <div> "Yes, it did frighten me.  Quentin, is that what you would look like now?"</div> <div> "I guess."</div> <div> "I'm sorry-I guess I shouldn't have let it scare me so.  You know what else I thought when I saw it?  Not only did I wonder if you'd look like that, I wondered how I would really look-if I didn't still look the same way I did, I mean."</div> <div> "I think you have less to worry about than me," he assured her.  "You're beautiful, Amanda.  I can't imagine that you've done anything near as bad as I have.  That portrait shows all my physical scars, you know?  That's why I really don't need a doctor.  Whenever I was hurt really badly, I would heal fast-usually in just a couple of hours.  Well, I think the portrait has all my psychic scars, too."</div> <div> "What do you mean by that?"</div> <div> "I mean that I've done some pretty terrible things, Amanda.  I'm not such a nice guy, and you're probably going to regret being with me," he told her honestly.  "I've committed just about every sin there is and I know I've broken all Ten Commandments.  I think the portrait shows that, too-that's why it's so ugly."</div> <div> "I'm not so pure, either, darling," Amanda admitted.  "But my portrait hasn't changed."</div> <div> "They serve different purposes, I guess."  He was surprised at her reaction to that.  "What is it?"</div> <div> "What is the purpose of your portrait?" Amanda asked.</div> <div> Now's the moment of truth, he thought.  He wondered if he should tell it all or not.  Why not?  If she decided she hated him, she would be free to go.  He realized his heart would not break if she did.  He hoped she would stay, even if it did complicate his life.  He was lonely.  He sighed and then said, "I was married before-to an entertainer named Jenny."</div> <div> Amanda reacted strongly.  "Married!"</div> <div> "Yes, I was really young and she was really beautiful.  It was a long, long time ago, Amanda."  He paused and then went on with the story.  He told her the whole ugly story: his early happiness with Jenny marred on their return to Collinwood by the coldness of his family; his affair with his sister-in-law, Laura; Jenny's attempt on Laura's life; his inability to deal with Jenny's wildly swinging moods, leading to his departure from Collinwood.  Laura followed him, and they traveled to Egypt together.  This part would get really complicated, so he elected to leave out the fact that Laura was a phoenix.  What he had to tell her was too incredible to absorb anyway.</div> <div> He told her that when he returned to Collinwood, he'd fallen in love with Jenny's caretaker, Beth Chavez.  He didn't know that was why Beth was at the great house; he assumed she was a servant.  He and Beth eventually became intimate, trying to be discreet about where they met for their trysts.  He also decided to leave out the fact that Jenny killed him and Angelique and Barnabas brought him back to life.  Instead, he told Amanda about the night he killed Jenny, trying to defend Beth.  After that, he learned that Jenny was not only a gypsy, she was a sister of Magda Rackozy, the gypsy living at the Old House.</div> <div> "I remember her," was Amanda's only comment.</div> <div> "She set a curse on me and on all my male descendants because I killed her sister," Quentin explained.  "It was horrible, Amanda.   I became an animal every full moon-I killed people, but I didn't mean to."</div> <div> Now Amanda's eyes became fearful.  "Like the animal who killed Charles Delaware Tate?"</div> <div> "Like that," Quentin agreed.  "Amanda, that's the reason Chris came for me-it's the reason he needed my help.  He carries the curse, too."</div> <div> Amanda gasped. "Oh!  He was the one who-oh!"</div> <div> "Well, if you feel disgusted with me I can't say that I blame you," Quentin said.  "You can't think anything worse about me than I've already thought."</div> <div> "It wasn't your fault," Amanda objected softly.</div> <div> He looked at her.  "You don't hate me for all this stuff I'm telling you?"  She shook her head, no.  "Why didn't you trust me-back there?  What happened?"</div> <div> For a moment, she looked confused.  He realized he'd shifted to the present without telling her and was about to explain what he meant when she realized he was referring what happened on the bridge.  "I heard someone saying things to me about you," Amanda answered.  "Things similar to what you are telling me now.  That you run around on women.  That I couldn't depend on you-that you would get tired of me and leave me."</div> <div> "You thought it might be true?" he asked.</div> <div> "I still think it might be."</div> <div> "Then why do you stay?  Why do you want to be with me?"</div> <div> "Well, I do love you," she answered.  "Do you love me?"</div> <div> He wished she hadn't asked that.  "I need you, Amanda.  I need you right now," he answered truthfully, hoping it didn't sound as evasive to her as it did to him.  He was afraid she would press him again, but she didn't.  She leaned against him.</div> <div> "Where does the portrait fit in?" she asked, instead.</div> <div> "Count Petofi had Charles Delaware Tate paint my portrait," Quentin answered.  "He's a sorcerer-did you know that?"</div> <div> "I suspected," she said, smiling enigmatically.  "I did have some dealings with him-through Tim Shaw."</div> <div> "Well, he did something to the portrait.  It took on the curse and everything else I told you about.  I've looked like this since 1897."</div> <div> She was quiet for a long time, and he stroked her hair now, wondering what she was thinking.  Finally, she said, "I have a secret about my portrait, too, Quentin."</div> <div> "It can't possibly be as bad as mine," he said, hearing her voice tremble.</div> <div> "I can't remember anything about my life before he painted my portrait," Amanda said in a whisper.  </div> <div> Quentin knew she meant Tate.  "You have amnesia?  Was Petofi hanging around with Tate?  Maybe he stole your memories."</div> <div> "No, it's not that.  I'd like to believe that was true, and I spent a lot of time and money trying to prove that something like that was true-that I had a past, parents, a family."</div> <div> Quentin thought that she just hadn't found the right contact yet.  Instead, he asked, "What do you think happened then?"</div> <div>      Amanda looked distressed.  "After all these years, I still don't want to believe it.  Charles said that when he painted me, he created me."</div> <div>      "<I>What?</I> " Quentin exclaimed, shocked.  Then he laughed, stopping only when he saw how much it upset her.  "That's impossible, Amanda."</div> <div>      "That's what I thought, but-"</div> <div>      "But?" He was already thinking of a way to help her-people he could contact; a way to trace her.  She had to have been born somewhere.</div> <div>      "Tim Shaw told me that he painted a man to prove what he was saying was true.  And a man appeared-and he was like me.  He didn't know who he was!"</div> <div>      "Shhh," Quentin soothed her as her voice began to rise in a panic.  "Okay, so where is this miracle man?"</div> <div>      "I never saw him."  As Quentin arched his brows dubiously, Amanda went on, "Tim says Mr. Tate shot and killed him."</div> <div>      Quentin was shocked but quickly remembered that Charles Delaware Tate had been an unbalanced, bitter man.  He was Petofi's toady after the unfortunate Aristede fell into disfavor with the count.  "Listen, Amanda," he said to her now, "I don't know why they'd do such a cruel thing to you, but they were both lying.  There is no way that story is true."</div> <div>      "Why?"</div> <div>      "Because a man can't create a human being, that's why!"</div> <div>      "How do you know?"</div> <div>      "Only God can do that!" Quentin exclaimed.  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he was already wondering.  That had been his religious upbringing speaking; he'd stopped going to church altogether when he was an adult, but his doubts about it all had started when his grandmother had begun involving him in the practice of black magic.  He hadn't set foot in a church in over 50 years-not until after he married Beth.  Looking at Amanda, he realized that the point wasn't what he believed, it was what she believed.  She was obviously very upset about it.  "Listen, I'll tell you what," he went on reassuringly.  "I have friends in the State Department.  We'll find out who you really were and where you were born, I swear."</div> <div>      Instead of reassuring her, though, she became more agitated.  "And what if you don't find anything?" she cried out.  "You don't really love me, do you, Quentin?  You'll leave me!"</div> <div>      "Why would I do that?"</div> <div>      "Because," she wailed, "I wouldn't be a human!  I couldn't be!"  She began to weep hysterically.</div> <div>      "Amanda, listen to me," he said into her ear.  He was sure she wouldn't hear him any other way.  "You are a real woman.  Listen!  I won't leave you-I promise!"</div> <div>      She heard that.  "You won't?"</div> <div>      "Not for that, no," he declared.  That part was true, he was reasonably sure.  She didn't look entirely convinced, so he kissed her to show her that it didn't matter to him.  She put her arms around him, pulling him onto her.  "Here, you'll see, Amanda.  You are a very human woman.  Let's do it again," he whispered to her, feeling himself becoming aroused again.  "You'll see-you are real.  You wouldn't be feeling this if you weren't real."  He would reassure her now and later, when he got around to it, he'd call friends of his.  He was certain that there was proof of her birth-somewhere.</div> <bR> <div>      The knocking became a little louder; a little more insistent.  Quentin groaned and began to pull a pillow over his head.  Then he remembered that Julia was supposed to come at noon.  He couldn't believe that it could be that late already and blearily reached for the clock.  Both hands were straight up.  Oh, man, he thought.  He got up and pulled on the thick robe Amanda had bought for him.  There was a note for him from her on the other pillow on the bed.  He stuffed it in his pocket and made his way to the door, opening it to peek out.</div> <div>      He met Julia's eyes.  She looked at him and smiled with amusement.  He couldn't help but grin back at her, opening the door to let her in.  "You weren't kidding, were you?" she asked.</div> <div>      "No, I've been the bane of every housekeeper I've ever known," he told her.  "At least until I put them under my spell with my charming personality.  Come on in, Julia."</div> <div>      Julia came in and set her huge purse on the table.  Quentin wandered over to the coffee table, searching the pizza boxes for any left overs.  "Oh, don't do that!" Julia exclaimed.  "We can go out, surely-or have something sent over!"</div> <div>      "Well, if we're going to talk privately, we should eat here," he said.</div> <div>      "I'll tell you what-go and shower and get dressed.  I'll go down to the coffee shop and bring something back for us," Julia suggested.</div> <div>      "All right," he agreed.  "Just shut the door-don't lock it."  He went in and showered, wondering where he should start with Julia.  There was so much to tell her.  Troubled, he remembered Barnabas.  He supposed he would start by asking her if she'd told him that he had his memory back.  He remembered it all-right now, he clearly remembered the cold, flat look in his cousin's eyes.  What was wrong with him?</div> <div>      He picked his robe up and hung it up before going into his room to dress.  He remembered Amanda's note and looked at it.  It said simple, "See you for dinner. I love you very much, A."  He sighed.  Earrings, he thought.  I'll buy her some earrings.  She'll like that.  He dressed quickly and went out into the sitting room.  Julia was already setting up for lunch.  "Do you like beer?" she asked.  "I hope so, but I brought coke in case you didn't."</div> <div>      "Is it bottled?" he asked hopefully.  He didn't like canned beer.  It tasted tinny.</div> <div>      Julia smiled.  "Of course."  </div> <div>      "I'm impressed, Julia.  What else did you bring?"  He dug into the wrapped sandwiches.  She'd brought soup, too.  Chicken soup and beer.  He laughed.  Julia smiled, too.  "It's good for the soul-for what ails you," she said.</div> <div>      "For what ails us both?" he asked, sitting down across from her.  "I guess I should ask you first-does Barnabas know that I've got my memory back?"</div> <div>      "No," Julia answered coolly, "and I don't think he should.  Don't you agree?" Quentin nodded silently, popping the top off Julia's beer with the church key on his Swiss army knife.  He handed it to her silently and opened his own thoughtfully.  Julia watched him take a sip of his beer and then asked, "What did he do to you, sweetie?"</div> <div>      He looked at her quickly.  "I guess you know he's the one that caused my `amnesia'.  I'm not sure how he did it-I felt as though he'd taken me to a cell and locked me in.   When you were helping me remember, I'd see him now and then in my head, warning me.  He'd say, `Stay where you are, it's safer.'  Is it possible he'd know I've gotten my memory back?"</div> <div>      Julia looked alarmed.  "I don't know.  I hadn't thought of that."</div> <div>      "So it's that bad?  What is it?  What's the matter with him?"</div> <div>      Julia seemed only too happy to talk.  As she began to tell him the story, he realized that she'd been alone with this problem for weeks-ever since Barnabas returned from 1897.  He hadn't I'chinged back, though; Julia was sure of it.  His body had disappeared during the trance.  Quentin remembered when-that was when Julia had come back to the past.</div> <div>      "Barnabas is involved in something dangerous, but I don't know what it is.  It's putting the whole family in danger," Julia explained.  "He was different from the very first day he returned.   He was very distant."</div> <div>      "No life in his eyes," Quentin commented.</div> <div>      "Exactly.  He pretended to be glad to see me, but I had the feeling that he didn't care.  He was eager for me to leave almost immediately, and he had absolutely no interest in discussing what might have happened to you.  He didn't want to hear about Chris." Julia paused suddenly and looked at Quentin curiously.  "Just where <I>did </I>you go?"</div> <div> "Later, it's a long story," he answered.  He had to figure out how much of a threat Barnabas was to him now-he distinctly remembered Barnabas' words to him:  <I>"Do you know, Quentin, that I could have killed you as you slept here just now?  It would have made things so much easier for me, and yet I decided to spare your life for one reason alone.  You saved my life once, and so I owe you that in return.  However, now we are even.  This is your only chance.  If you interfere with me, I will kill you without hesitation, do you understand?"</I>  He looked at Julia and said, "So tell me what happened."</div> <div>      "All right, well, as I was leaving the house, I saw a box.  I was curious, and I picked it up to look at it.  He became very angry and snatched it away.  I left in a huff, but then I came back.  I shouldn't have done this, but I came back into the house."</div> <div>      "Julia!  Not you!" Quentin exclaimed in mock horror.  They both laughed.</div> <div>      "The box was where I'd originally found it.  I went to open it, curious to see what was inside.  Barnabas came into the room, shouting at me to get out. I was so ashamed and frightened that I just ran without looking back.  He would come to the house occasionally but he'd changed toward me.  He was hostile, and I couldn't understand why."  She looked at her hands and sighed.  </div> <div>      Poor Julia, he thought.  He remembered the look in her eyes when he'd seen her in the hospital.  He put his hand over hers.  "Thank you for taking care of me and helping me," he told her.  Her eyes filled with tears, and she put her other hand on his.  "It must have been hard as hell for you."</div> <div>      "Well," Julia began, her lower lip trembling a little, "I will say it was a challenge between you and Chris and then Paul Stoddard-"</div> <div>      "Paul Stoddard?" Quentin repeated.  "Carolyn's father?  He came back recently, right?"</div> <div>      "Yes-and somehow he is mixed up in all this, too, but I can't seem to help him.  He's at Collinwood now, but Elizabeth won't let me talk to him.  He's kept sedated most of the time."  Julia had gotten control of herself.  "Whatever Barnabas is involved in seems to be growing, Quentin.  I am sure that he's involved Elizabeth-and David, too.  I think he tried to involve me, as well."</div> <div>      "Really? Why do you think that?"</div> <div>      Julia told him that Elizabeth had become hostile and suspicious of her once Paul Stoddard came into Collinwood.  Julia caught a glimpse of the man only once or twice, and he was not the same man she'd first met.  That man had a great deal of determination to rebuild his relationship with his abandoned wife and daughter.  The Paul Stoddard she encountered in Collinwood was a broken, frightened man-and he was especially frightened of Barnabas.</div> <div>      Julia and Barnabas quarreled several times about Paul Stoddard and about the strange occurrences at the antique shop.  On the day that Chris attacked Charles Delaware Tate, Barnabas came to Collinwood.  His manner was different; he was solicitous and expressed a great deal of concern for Chris.  Julia didn't believe it.  She had a dream, though, and in that dream she was invited to look into that odd box Barnabas had.  When she'd awakened from the dream, she went down to the drawing room-and Elizabeth had the box.  Apparently Barnabas had sent it as a peace offering.  Elizabeth wanted Julia to open it.</div> <div>      "I had the strangest feeling that if I opened that box, I would be lost," Julia said.  "At that point, Chris came to the door.  He was supposed to have stayed at Windcliff-I knew the moon would be full that night.  I left immediately to try and convince him to go back with me."  She looked at Quentin.  "Well, he went to you instead."</div> <div>      Quentin nodded.  He didn't want to think about that yet, willfully putting Tate out of his mind.  He'd become curious with an underlying feeling of dread.  "Julia, can you describe the box to me?"</div> <div>      "Yes, and I can draw the symbols for you.  It's a wooden box-I'm not sure what kind of wood.  Hawthorn, maybe, or yew. And it had symbols on it like this."  Julia took a napkin and drew on it.  She pushed the napkin toward Quentin when she was finished.  He felt the hair on his neck prickle and stand up on end.  "You know it?"</div> <div>      "The Naga," he whispered.  Nervously, he began to bite his thumb nail.  </div> <div>      "What does it mean?" Julia asked.</div> <div>      Quentin swallowed slowly. Now he felt frightened.  If this was what he thought it was, Barnabas was lost.  He should take Amanda and run as fast as he could.  He looked at Julia.  He couldn't leave her-not to face that.  He couldn't leave his family, either.  "It's-it's a symbol of an ancient race of-I don't know what you'd call them-not people-but they lived on the earth centuries ago.  They're shape shifters, very powerful, and very-amoral.  Everything is done for the good of the One-the end justifies the means, that kind of thing.  So murder would be condoned-anything, really, if it was to advance this One being back to his rightful place."  He could see that Julia was listening but didn't really understand.  "What about this antique shop?" he asked.</div> <div>      He listened with growing concern as Julia told him that the young couple who bought the shop, Philip and Megan Todd, had begun to behave strangely, too.  Megan wore a pendant with the same symbol on it-what Quentin had called the Naga.  Now there was a third strange little boy there, too.</div> <div>      "Third?"</div> <div>      "I'm sorry, Quentin.  There was a baby first.  Megan said it was her nephew and she was watching him for a few days.  Next came a little boy named Alexander.  That's about when the trouble with Paul Stoddard started.  He and this boy took an instant dislike to each other.  To be honest, I wasn't fond of that boy, either.  He seemed-oh, I don't know, cold-blooded somehow.  I believe it was his idea to lure you to the shop to frighten Amy."</div> <div>      "Oh?" Quentin's voice shot up.  He didn't like that at all.</div> <div>      "Well, I tried to advise Elizabeth to keep David and Amy away from Alexander.  I thought she agreed with my advice, but all of a sudden she brought Paul to Collinwood and then became hostile with me.  She told me to mind my own business."</div> <div>      Little Elizabeth, Quentin thought, dismayed.  He remembered the bright eyed, happy little girl he'd known from years and years ago and felt a dull anger.  "She's become one of them," he muttered.</div> <div>      "Yes, they recruit people, don't they?" Julia asked.</div> <div>      "They have to-they need human protectors.  They can't do it all themselves," Quentin replied shortly.  "All right, so then what?"</div> <div>      "Well, then Alexander went away and now there is Michael."  Julia paused. "Quentin, you're going to think this is crazy, but I think that they're all the same little boy."</div> <div>      Quentin laughed bitterly.  "No, you're not crazy, Julia."  Julia looked at him, both shocked and pleased.  "How did you figure it out?"</div> <div>      "They have the same birthmark," Julia answered.  "Thank God, you believe me!"</div> <div>      "Yes, I believe you," he answered softly.  "Do you know what I think you should do?"  She shook her head.  "Get out of town while you still can," he answered harshly.</div> <div>      She sat back.  Obviously, this was not the answer she wanted.  "I can't do that.  Can you?"</div> <div>      "I'm very tempted to, Julia, to be perfectly honest.  You really don't know what you're dealing with here.  It's probably already too late to save Barnabas."</div> <div>      "No!" Julia snapped, her mouth forming that thin line he'd seen her take with Barnabas.  "I won't believe that-not even for him.  And I won't let this happen without a fight!"</div> <div>      "It's a fight you'll lose!" Quentin informed her.  "This is an ancient race we're talking about, Julia, not some ignorant savages that can be tricked! They're very clever-and they're very dangerous."</div> <div>      "How do you know so much about this?  What is this race, anyway?"</div> <div>      "I know about it because of where I've been and the things I've read up on," Quentin answered.  "They call themselves Leviathans.  There are human followers all over the world.  I researched them first in Austria, then in Amsterdam, and then in London.  Julia, the fact that this boy keeps transforming into an older child means that they're making their move."</div> <div>      "To do what?" Julia asked.</div> <div>      "They used to dominate the earth-aeons ago.  There was a war, several wars, I guess, and they were defeated and they were sent to the underworld.  They've been biding their time.  This boy is the One-their leader.  Barnabas is probably their mouthpiece."</div> <div>      "Well, we can't let that happen!"</div> <div>      "Well, it probably will, Julia, and they'll try to absorb us into their ranks.  If that doesn't work, we'll be killed."</div> <div>      "And so your answer is to run away?  If they're moving to take over, won't they catch up with you eventually?"  She sounded angry with him.</div> <div>      He smiled grimly.  "Very good, Julia."  She gave him a startled look.  "I didn't say I was going to run away, my dear doctor.  I did say that <I>you</I> should go-but I had a feeling you wouldn't."</div> <div>      Julia smiled back.  "Very good, Quentin."</div> <div>      He thought.  "You and I are not going to be strong enough to fight off these things, Julia.  We're going to need Barnabas.  I can't believe he'd allow himself to be sucked up by the Leviathans."</div> <div>      "You can't talk to him," Julia protested.  "He won't listen.  In fact, he'll be very angry.  It would alert them to the fact that you have your memory back."</div> <div>      "Yes, I know," he agreed.  "That's why Barnabas took it from me-because he knew that I would know what was going on.  I can't talk to him directly."</div> <div>      "How then?" Julia asked, puzzled.</div> <div>      "Well, there was a little technique I used a long time ago-when Petofi switched minds with me."</div> <div>      "Oh?" Julia asked, curiously.</div> <div>      "Barnabas coached me.  I was able to switch my mind back to my own body.  I've practiced it but I didn't use the technique for a long time.  Not until--" he stopped short.  He almost said, `not until they took Beth and me away' but he didn't think now was the time to bring it up.   He'd never been able to reach her, although he'd tried-there seemed to be a stone wall between them.  "Well," he continued, noting that Julia didn't seem to notice, "I got a lot more practice in the east-mediating, concentrating, reaching out to contact someone else with my mind."</div> <div>      "I don't understand-how will it help to contact him telepathically?"</div> <div>      "Well, I'd have to do it when he's distracted-or asleep.  I'd want to talk to the `real' Barnabas."  He saw that she was beginning to brighten considerably with hope.  He squeezed her hand.  "Julia, please understand that this isn't going to be easy.  I've got to make sure that I reach Barnabas-and not alert the Leviathan side of him."</div> <div>      "I understand," Julia said. "What do we do?"</div> <div>      "Well, for right now, we eat the rest of our lunch.  Then you've got to come and help me pick out the most beautiful pair of earrings we can find."</div> <div>      "Do you need them to contact Barnabas later?" Julia asked curiously.</div> <div>      Quentin roared with laughter.  "No, I need them to appease Amanda!  I'm going to contact Barnabas in the middle of the night, and I need you here-and she's not going to like that!"</div> <div>      Julia laughed, too.  She gave him a sympathetic look to let him know that she knew he wasn't kidding.</div> <bR> <div>      Amanda exclaimed over the pearl drop earrings, wanting to put them in immediately.  She dropped a box onto Quentin's lap and went directly to a mirror to take out her own earrings.  "Oh, you remembered that I love pearls!" she cried.  Actually, he hadn't but he was glad he'd gotten them now, expensive as they were.  Well, it didn't matter.  He couldn't possibly run through five million dollars in a day or two.  </div> <div> As Amanda admired herself in the mirror, Quentin looked to see what she had gotten for him: a soft cashmere sweater.  He liked the color, a light gray.  He pulled it over his shirt.  "Hey, thanks, this is really nice, Amanda!" he called to her.  She wasn't listening.</div> <div> "Oh, Quentin!  What a wonderful day it's been!" she exclaimed, turning to look at him, her eyes dancing.  She turned her head sideways to him to show off the earrings.  "How do I look?"</div> <div> "Beautiful as always," he told her.  "So what else happened?  The agent must have had some good news.  Was it about a movie?"</div> <div> She pursed her lips a little.  "No movie-that deal fell through.  But-there was another offer.  Oh, let's go out for dinner and I can tell you all about it!"</div> <div> "Okay," he agreed.  If she was already in a good mood to begin with and he plied her with some good wine, maybe she wouldn't mind to a middle-of-the night visit from Julia.  Olivia had Mr. Nakamura drive them to Rockport; the restaurants in Collinsport were too provincial, she declared.  She knew that Rockport at least had a nice French restaurant.  "Really," she said, sounding a little aggrieved.  "You'd think Collinsport would have a decent French restaurant considering that most of the settlers here were French."</div> <div> He shrugged.  He didn't care.  "The seafood is better in Collinsport," he pointed out.  "Fresh off the boat."</div> <div> "Oh, but really!  Fish and chips!" Amanda exclaimed, and her nose went up, just slightly.  </div> <div> Quentin almost laughed.  She really was a snob.  Well, he supposed actresses were entitled to their little eccentricities.  He didn't really mind.  She really seemed to love him, he enjoyed making love to her, and it was nice to have someone to snuggle with in bed again.  He'd been lonely for a very long time.  </div> <div> Over dinner, she told him her good news.  She'd been offered a contract to appear on a popular soap called "Twin Rivers".  It was a short-term contract; if the character was popular, she could continue on in the role.  He was impressed.  "You really want to be tied to a soap opera?" he asked her.  "I thought you wanted to sing and dance."</div> <div> "Well, that's what is really nice about this.  The role is for me to play the music teacher who seduces the rich man's son-and I can sing on some of the episodes.  If I stay with the show, I can take up to eight weeks off the first year to go and do other projects.  That's enough time to do a movie," Amanda told him excitedly.  She looked at him carefully.  "Of course, it means we'd have to move to New York-that is where the series is being taped."</div> <div> Uh-oh, he thought.  "When do you begin?" he asked.</div> <div> "Well, I'll be there to start taping right after Christmas," she answered.  He nodded, thinking.  I can go back and forth between both places for now, he thought.  "Of course, we should go down there before the holidays-you know, to look for an apartment.  They're not that easy to come by, you know.  I want one by the park."</div> <div> "Well-" he began.  He was going to have to tell her that he wasn't planning on any permanent living arrangements right now.  There was that dream of Jenny's-and if there was a chance that he could find Beth, he wasn't going to let go of that.  There was Chris-he hadn't even had a chance to talk to Julia about him.  Under the circumstances, he couldn't-he'd have to help Barnabas first.</div> <div> "And we could do our Christmas shopping there," Amanda went on, as if he hadn't begun to say anything.  "We could go see the Rockettes-did you know that I tried out to be a Rockette?  I actually made it-except I slipped on ice and broke my ankle.  I was sooooo angry at the hotel management for not doing a better job of clearing the ice away!"</div> <div> "Amanda, listen," he began again.  He took her hand and squeezed it to get her attention.  She looked at him, mildly annoyed at being interrupted.  "Your plans sound wonderful, and I'm really happy for you.  I just want you to understand that there are things I have to do, too.  I have a job that might take me overseas at any time.  I have family here-"</div> <div> "The Collinses?"  Amanda interrupted.  "You don't know them!"</div> <div> "But they're still family," he said stubbornly.  "And I do know them-some of them.  I just haven't seen them in years."</div> <div> "What are you saying?" she asked suspiciously.</div> <div> "Just that I'll probably go back and forth between here and New York," he answered.  "And I may get called to do an assignment overseas."</div> <div> She looked mollified.  "That's not so bad.  Planes are wonderful things.  What do you do that you'd get called overseas?"</div> <div> He gave her a conspiratorial wink.  "It's classified."</div> <div> "Oh, really?"  She didn't sound like she believed it, so he reached into his wallet and pulled out his identification to get into the Pentagon.  The ID had the name Edward Murdoch on it.  "Edward?  Wasn't that your  stuck-up brother's name?"</div> <div> "Yes," he answered.  "I have a bit of a sick sense of humor, but using familiar names helps me remember who I am, too."</div> <div> "And you write under the name Grant Douglas?"</div> <div> "Right."</div> <div> "Well," she said brightly.  "What name should I use to introduce you to my friends and associates?  My agent?"</div> <div> "Grant Douglas, I guess," he answered after a moment.  He couldn't claim his own name yet-if ever again.</div> <div> "Oh, I hope I remember to call you Grant and not Quentin," Amanda said fretfully.</div> <div> Quentin found his mind wandering.  "Well, you can either call me Grant yourself so you won't forget.  Or if you slip up, we'll just say it's my real first name-or middle name, or whatever."  He was trying to think how to bring Julia into the conversation. The problem was that Amanda kept talking about looking for an apartment, the kind of place she wanted, how she wanted to decorate it, and Quentin soon began to tune her out, nodding occasionally.  </div> <div> He found himself wondering where he was going to spend Christmas anyway-with Amanda, he supposed.   Christmas was less than two weeks away; he wasn't sure it would be a good idea to spring himself on the Collins family now, much as he'd like to see Elizabeth and Roger.  Then there was Katie, Beth's grown daughter, married and in the Catskills-but how would he explain Katie to Amanda and vice versa? Besides, there was Jenny's dream-he was supposed to getting help from Julia and Barnabas.  How could he get help from them when Barnabas himself was in some kind of trouble?</div> <div> "Quentin!" Amanda was saying.</div> <div> "I'm sorry, babe," he said apologetically.</div> <div> "Well, what are you thinking about?  You're a million miles away?"</div> <div> He poured her another glass of wine.  "I was thinking how nice it would be to spend some nights alone with you in New York," he lied easily.  It wasn't time to talk about Julia yet.  Especially not when he hadn't been listening to her.  He waited until they were almost back to Collinsport and was glad he did.  </div> <div> "What about us?" she asked, pouting.</div> <div> "Amanda, I don't think this is going to take very long," he told her.  "Besides, we've just been together for a really nice dinner, we'll be together tomorrow-"</div> <div> "Why do you have to do this anyway?" she interrupted.</div> <div> "First of all because I owe Barnabas.   He helped me when other people were turning their backs on me."  Except Beth, he remembered.  Everyone else, though-his brother, his sister, his so-called friend, Evan Hanley-all of them preferred to just seem him go.  "The other thing is-I have to help Chris, my great-grandson."</div> <div> "You don't even know him," Amanda said.  "You don't have any obligation to him."</div> <div> Quentin looked at her, outraged.  It didn't matter that until he'd had the dream, he'd pretty much felt the same way.  It made him feel ashamed but there was no use trying to lie about it.  He'd never bothered to check and see what happened to his daughter Lenore after Petofi had had her husband shot.  He knew he had a granddaughter, Margaret Rose.  He never checked on her, either, even with his connections to the OSS, the CIA, and the State Department during all the years he was in Washington, Vienna-and later.  If Beth had been with him now, he probably never would have returned to Collinsport at all-and that was the truth.  Still, he didn't like to hear it coming from Amanda.  "It's my fault he's cursed, Amanda! What the hell do you mean saying I don't have any obligation to him?"</div> <div> Amanda looked cowed but still annoyed.  "Well, you don't expect me to sit up, do you?"</div> <div> "No, in fact, I think it would be safer if you didn't."</div> <div> "Safer?"  Amanda asked.  "What are you getting involved in, Quentin?"</div> <div> He flared up again.  "Nothing you need to worry about!"</div> <div> She moved away from him, looking out her darkened window and pouting furiously.  Fine, he thought, ignoring her.  Amanda was not one who liked to be ignored for long, though.  He could hear her crying silently and cursed to himself.  She was like an adolescent child, he thought, sighing.  "Amanda, I'm sorry," he said softly.</div> <div> "I just thought it would be perfect-we'd be together again, and we'd be so happy!" she sniffled.</div> <div> He wondered what he was going tell her if he found Beth.  If I had any decency, I'd tell her the whole thing and be done with it, he thought.  I don't have enough decency, he decided.  I don't want to be alone.  He slid closer to her so that he could pull her into his arms.  "Sssh, look at it this way, Amanda.  I've learned some sense of responsibility over the years.  Doesn't that make you feel more secure about me?"</div> <div> That worked.  She sighed and nestled her head on his shoulder.  "Well, since you put it that way-yes."  He felt like a real rat, now.  He was determined, though, that if he did find Beth again, he would make sure that Amanda was well cared for.  He wasn't sure how he'd accomplish that feat, but he would think of something.</div> <bR> <div> Amanda was asleep when Julia came to the hotel room at three in the morning.  Quentin was waiting for her.  He lit two candles at the table, and they sat across from each other.  "Are you sure Barnabas is asleep?" he asked.</div> <div> Julia smiled.  "As of twenty minutes ago, he was-unless he was fooling me, but I don't think so."</div> <div> "What did you do?" Quentin asked.</div> <div> "Well, I went over on the pretext of talking to him about Carolyn-since he's expressed such an interest in her.  Carolyn is awfully upset about her father-he's run off, Quentin."</div> <div> Quentin was surprised.  "He has?  When?"</div> <div> "Today-yesterday, I'm really not sure.  I told you that Elizabeth had been keeping him sedated.  Carolyn told me that she managed to talk her mother into letting her give the medicine to her father-and he hasn't been taking it.  I think he was trying to persuade Carolyn to leave with him, but I didn't tell Barnabas of course."  Julia paused as Quentin frowned, wondering what Stoddard's involvement was.  "Well, anyway, when Barnabas wasn't looking, I slipped a strong sedative in his drink.  I waited until he was asleep before I came here."</div> <div> "Good show, Julia!" Quentin exclaimed.</div> <div> "Well, what do we do now?"</div> <div> "You don't do anything.  You make yourself a drink and relax.  I'm going to work now," Quentin told her.</div> <div> "Should I watch out for anything?" Julia asked.</div> <div> Quentin shrugged.  "I don't know.  I guess you'll know if you see something's going wrong.  Go make a drink.  I'll bet you could use it."  As Julia got up from the table, Quentin shut his eyes and began to concentrate, remembering the technique he'd first tried with Barnabas coaching him.  He had to reach his cousin's mind without the Leviathans knowing it.  Otherwise, he'd put them both in danger.</div> <div> He shut out thoughts of everything else, concentrating only on Barnabas.  In a dreamlike state, he felt as if he was walking on the path to the Old House.  This was where Barnabas was.  As he started up the steps to the portico, he stopped suddenly, realizing that this was a mistake.  Yes, Barnabas was here-the Leviathan Barnabas.  This was not where he wanted to be.  He concentrated harder.  Where was his cousin?  In his mind's eye, he saw the mausoleum.  Of course!</div> <div> Quentin found himself entering the mausoleum.  It was cold, dark, and damp here.  He passed the three sarcophagi, a shudder passing through him.  The last time he was here was on the day Carl died.  Carl brought him here, trusting him, to show him Barnabas in his coffin.  Quentin knew that Barnabas was his only hope and so he had sacrificed his brother; he hadn't forgiven himself for it although he felt that somehow Carl understood what he'd done.  Carl had forgiven him.  <I>I can't forgive myself because he trusted me-I always looked out for him; he was so simple-minded.  He never would have believed I'd let anyone kill him like that.</I></div> <div> You can't let yourself think about that now, he berated himself.  If he distracted himself, he could betray himself-and Barnabas-to the Leviathans.  He concentrated on the Lions' head, seeing himself put his hands on the ring and pulling on it.  The door moved back.  He was unnerved by what he found there.  In the center of the secret room was a coffin, the lid open.  Barnabas was sleeping inside the open coffin.  Why?</div> <div> Quentin went down the step carefully and quietly approached the coffin.  His cousin's face was so pale and still, his arms crossed on his chest.  For a moment, Quentin thought he might be dead.  How could that be, though?  He saw his cousin's chest move-so he was alive!  He was breathing.   Gently, he shook Barnabas' shoulder.  "Barnabas," he whispered.  "Barnabas!  Wake up, I need to talk to you!"</div> <div> Barnabas' eyes flew open instantly.  He looked alarmed.  "Are you mad?  What are you doing here?"</div> <div> "We have to talk," Quentin whispered.  "I know what's going on.  I want to help you."</div> <div> "You can't help me-you can only save yourself.  Get out of here-while you can."</div> <div> "I can't do that.  I'm not leaving you here-with those things."</div> <div> "There is nothing you can do to help me, don't you understand?  Get out of here!  I don't want you to die!"</div> <div> "I don't want to, either.  Barnabas, the truth is I'm going to have to face this sooner or later anyway.  These creatures are trying to establish themselves here, aren't they?  There's going to come a time where I'm going to have to face them, and I'd rather do it with you than alone.  We still have a chance to fight them, despite what you think.  I've learned a lot, you know."</div> <div> Barnabas sat up in the coffin.  He grasped Quentin's shoulders.  "I know you have-don't you understand?  That's why I tried to hide you.  Yes, you know much-but that makes you a danger to them.  They will strike out at you and I don't think I can protect you."</div> <div> "What is this hold they have over you, Barnabas?  They've got you hostage somehow, haven't they?"</div> <div> "If I don't do their will, they will kill Josette," Barnabas whispered.  "They will return the curse to me."</div> <div> Quentin shook his head, hearing only the first part.  "They're playing a cruel joke on you, Barnabas.  Josette is already dead."</div> <div> Barnabas shook his head.  "No-I saw her.  They've taken her from my time-from 1795-and they are holding her.  They will kill her, Quentin!  They are cold and remorseless."</div> <div> "I know they are-I know what they're capable of.  What if I can show you that they're not holding Josette?  Will you let me help you?"</div> <div> Barnabas' eyes glittered.  "How do you propose to do that?"</div> <div> "By calling Josette here."</div> <div> "Quentin!  If you do that, they will surely kill us!"</div> <div> Determined, Quentin looked into his cousin's eyes.  Believe me, he thought.  Trust me.  "If I can get her to come here and you can talk to her, would you be convinced that they've lied to you?"  Barnabas didn't answer right away.  "Listen, cousin, I tell you that I can bring her here and they will never know it because they don't hold her!  Do you trust me?"</div> <div> Barnabas looked deep into his eyes, searching.  Quentin could feel his mind being probed, and he relaxed.  He allowed Barnabas in to show that there was nothing to be afraid of; he could be trusted.  "Yes, call her," Barnabas answered, in a firm voice.</div> <div> Quentin sighed with relief.  He began to call upon Josette, the gentle, beautiful young woman he had never known.  He begged her to appear to him and Barnabas to help her beloved.  He could feel her approaching before he saw her, a slim, ethereal figure in the secret doorway.  "My love is in danger?"  He didn't so much hear her voice as much as he felt the emotion in it.  "What must I do to help him?"</div> <div> "Talk to him, please," Quentin asked her humbly.  He turned to Barnabas.  "Ask her, cousin."</div> <div> He felt the communication between the two flowing back and forth, like an electrical current moving from one point to another.  She was assuring Barnabas that she was in no danger; she'd never heard of the Leviathans.  He had to do what he could to help the family-so many members were in danger now from them and another evil presence lurking to strike again.  "I bind you; I prevent you from acting, my love," Josette seemed to say softly. "For that reason, I release you from me, my darling. You are free-you no longer have to worry about me because I rest in peace.  You must save the family, my love, and I charge you to do that so that I can return to my sleep."</div> <div> He could feel Barnabas protesting and then resignation followed as his cousin realized that Josette was right.  Heart-broken, he let her go.  He closed his eyes, his face pained, and Quentin let him grieve quietly.  When his eyes opened again, they were filled with anger and determination.  "I have betrayed my family, Quentin," he said bitterly.  "I have lost my friendship with Julia."</div> <div> "No, you haven't," Quentin assured him.  "Julia cares for you.  She wants to help you-in spite of everything.  She's a wonderful woman, Barnabas."</div> <div> "Yes," Barnabas answered softly, his eyes becoming sad.  "How are we to fight them?  It is impossible-and it's my fault."</div> <div> "You can't blame yourself for that now," Quentin advised.  "Look, I think I know how it feels.  When I left Carl here-" He stopped.  He wasn't the only one who had taken part in Carl's murder.  Beginning again, he said, "You can waste time blaming yourself or you can fight to save the rest of the family.  What do you want to do?"</div> <div> Barnabas smiled without humor.  "This is a dangerous game we're playing, cousin."</div> <div> Quentin answered his mirthless smile with one of his own.  "Oh, I've played plenty of dangerous games.  I guess I know what I'm getting myself into."</div> <div> "In that case, we must be very careful around them.  You must shield your thoughts from them at all times.  I must do the same thing.  You must teach Julia the technique, although she seems to have an inborn ability to resist them."</div> <div> "You tried to convert her and it didn't work?"</div> <div> "Yes-and she is in more danger than ever because of it."</div> <div> "Barnabas, what has Paul Stoddard to do with it?"</div> <div> Barnabas quickly explained that in exchange for good fortune twenty years ago, Stoddard had promised to give up his "most prized possession" at an unspecified time in the future.  He'd been drawn back to Collinsport without realizing the reason why.  He thought he was coming back to reunite with his daughter; in reality, it was to surrender her to the Leviathans.</div> <div> "Why?" Quentin asked, puzzled.  "Why Carolyn?"</div> <div> "Because the One must have a human bride," Barnabas explained, his face flaming with shame.  "They are to create a new race."  He looked away, too ashamed to face his cousin.</div> <div> Quentin was speechless but not from condemnation.  He put his hand on Barnabas' shoulder.  "I'm sorry, Barnabas.  I know you-you're carrying a terrible burden.  I want to help you."</div> <div> "Thank you."  Barnabas turned back and put his hand on Quentin's shoulder and squeezed it. "We understand each other, you and I.  I need you, Quentin-and I need Julia, too.  The One has become unreasonable and unmanageable."</div> <div> "I've heard that Paul Stoddard ran away."</div> <div> "I suspect he is trapped at the antique shop," Barnabas said.  "I must act to save him-he is to give Carolyn to the One.  He must not die."</div> <div> "You'd need to save Stoddard in any event.  It would be wrong to kill him," Quentin replied, and Barnabas nodded.  "In the meantime, we'll have to figure out a way to get Carolyn away."</div> <div> "There is a way," Barnabas whispered.  "Quentin, send Julia to me.  Tell her I am ready to talk-that I want to, I need to talk to her."</div> <div> "Of course."</div> <div> Barnabas touched Quentin's face gently.  "I don't feel alone.  Go, now, and I will be able to rest and do what must be done.  And you will tell Julia?"</div> <div> "I will.  Rest now, Barnabas."  Quentin found himself clasping hands with his cousin.  Barnabas lay back in the coffin, and Quentin began to move toward the door.  Something was still bothering him, so he turned back.  "Barnabas?  Why do you sleep in the coffin?"</div> <div> "It is inevitable," Barnabas replied enigmatically.  His face became serenely composed again, his breathing almost non-existent.  Quentin felt himself shiver uncontrollably, wondering what Barnabas meant.  He thought he knew but was afraid to accept it.  Slowly, he closed the secret room and left the mausoleum carefully and quietly.</div> <div> He opened his eyes and looked at Julia.  She was had tamped out one cigarette and was lighting a new one; there was a little scotch and soda left in her glass.  She started when she saw Quentin looking at her.  "My God!" she gasped, as she jumped.</div> <div> He put his hand on her arm.  "It's all right, Julia.  I reached him.  He's free.  He needs to talk you-he's afraid he's lost your friendship."</div> <div> Julia's eyes filled with tears.  "Thank God!  I thought he was lost!"</div> <div> "This is not over by a long shot," Quentin warned her.  "This is dangerous stuff we're dealing with here.  The good thing is, we've got him back with us.  Will you talk to him?"</div> <div> "Of course I will!  Oh, Quentin, thank you!"  Julia moved suddenly, throwing her arms around his neck.  She hugged him so tightly, he thought he would suffocate-although the portrait would never allow that to happen.  She let him go and very gently kissed him on the cheek.  "Get some sleep, sweetie, you've been through hell and you haven't even had a chance to talk about it yet."</div> <div> He touched his cheek, surprised, and looked up at her.  "Well, I'll be all right for now," he assured her.  "If we get through this, you'll help me with Chris, won't you?"</div> <div> "Yes-we'll both help you, Quentin.  This I swear," Julia answered.  She gently touched his face in exactly the same place Barnabas had touched him.  "It's very late.  We both need sleep, so I'm going to go.  Will you be able to sleep?  Do you need something to help you?"</div> <div> He was tempted but he said, "Well, I can always dip into the brandy if I need to.  I think I'll be all right."  He walked with Julia to the door.  She turned to hug him again, and he returned the hug.  It felt nice; comforting.  "I'll see you tomorrow."  After he closed the door, he went to the bar and poured himself a brandy, downing it swiftly.  He slipped into Amanda's room silently, pulling his clothes off and climbing gently into the bed with her.  She sighed and moved back against him as he snuggled up to her.  He was glad he was not alone, suddenly sure he'd be able to sleep now.</div> <bR> <div> Amanda woke Quentin with kisses the next morning.  It was earlier than he wanted to be awakened, but he did not mind when Amanda's kisses went from his mouth to his throat, to the base of his throat-on down his body.  He responded to her very quickly, and regretfully would not allow her to use her mouth on him longer than a few minutes.  He was sure he would not be able to control himself, and he already knew that Amanda did not want to be left out of the fun.  He managed to stop her and said hoarsely, "Climb on, babe.  You ride me this time."  He also had learned quickly that she derived a lot of pleasure out of being able to have things her way, and it was all the same to him as long as he was inside.   His breathing slowed as his excitement increased. Her head rolled back as she entered the throes of an orgasm; he grabbed her by the arms tightly, rocking her, as he climaxed too.  "What a wake-up call!" he gasped.</div> <div> "Oh, Quentin, I love you so!" Amanda exclaimed, kissing him on the mouth.</div> <div> He patted her on the backside.  "I'm glad you do-I'm a lucky man!"  She got up on one elbow and looked at him expectantly.  It might have gotten past her last night; it wasn't going to now.  He hesitated for just a moment and then said, "You know I love you, Amanda."</div> <div> She leaned over and kissed him again.  "Oh, we'll have such a wonderful day today!  We'll have Mr. Nakamura drive us to Bangor and we'll fly down to New York.  We can check into the Waldof-Astoria while we look for an apartment.  Oh!  And we can get one of those carriage rides through Central Park-it'll be so romantic, Quentin!"  She stopped chattering, looking at him closely.  "What's the matter?" she demanded.</div> <div> He'd been trying to think of a way to stop her so that he could tell her he couldn't leave yet.  "Amanda," he began.</div> <div> She sat up, looking angry and beautiful at the same time.  Her face was turning red; at the same time, she was still naked and desirable.  "Why can't you go?"</div> <div> "I can meet you there-tonight, maybe.  Or tomorrow," he offered.  "I need to see my cousin Barnabas.  I need to see Chris."</div> <div> "I thought that silly ceremony of yours took care of them!" she protested.</div> <div> "Well, I can't be sure until I see them, can I?" he retorted, beginning to grow angry himself.</div> <div> "How much longer is this going to go on?  When are you going to start thinking about us?"</div> <div> "Amanda, I am thinking about us!  It's just that we're not the only two people in the world, you know?"</div> <div> Her eyes filled with tears.  "I don't have any family to care for."</div> <div> It was on the tip of his tongue to call her selfish, narrow-minded, childish, and a lot of other names.  He stopped himself, just in time.  There was loneliness behind those words, and he thought how awful it must have been for her-a lifetime of being alone.  "Didn't you ever care for anyone else?" he asked her softly.</div> <div> A few tears began to spill over.  "If you're asking me if I've had lovers, the answer is yes.  Maybe you'll see that I'm not better than you are at all.  Oh, I haven't killed anyone, but-I've slept with men so that I wouldn't be alone at night."  She looked at him.  "You think I'm a whore."</div> <div> "No!" he exclaimed.  "I understand-I do, Amanda.  I-I've done it, too, with other women so that I wouldn't be alone."  He got up and moved so that he could be closer to her.  "I was just thinking that all these years, you haven't had the comfort of brothers or sisters or nieces or nephews, have you?" </div> <div> "Hand me that box of tissues, please," she asked pitifully, and he reached over for the box of Kleenex.  He took one out and gently blotted the tears away.  "You know why I have no brothers or sisters," she said brokenly.  "I have no parents either."</div> <div> He could see the hysterics coming.  To forestall them, he said hastily, "I don't believe it, Amanda.  I really think it's a lie.  I think you've got family somewhere-and that they'll be glad to find out about you."  She looked at him doubtfully, and he thought he'd better drop it quickly. Another thought occurred to him.  "You never married?"</div> <div> She sighed.  "Well, I did.  It was a long time ago.  It didn't last long, but he got me into moving pictures.  I was an extra in some of the silent pictures.  I might have been a star, except that it turned out he was a gangster.  He double-crossed someone and was killed, and no one wanted anything to do with me anymore in Hollywood, so I came back to New York."</div> <div> The hairs on his neck prickled again when she said her husband had been a gangster. So-perhaps Amanda had been in California while he and Beth were fleeing from Petofi/Bartelli! He didn't want to pursue that line of thinking, either.  "No children?" he asked her.</div> <div> "I'm barren," she answered, flushing a dark scarlet.</div> <div> "Oh!"  He didn't know what to stay to that.  She really had been alone.  He stroked her gently.</div> <div> "Do you mind?" she asked.  "If you mind, I'll die!"</div> <div> "No, I don't mind," he told her truthfully.  "Amanda, I told you that I'm cursed.  If I had a child, I would pass the curse on."  He saw her expression and thought she might be wondering why he didn't ask her if she was on the pill before having sex with her; that was something her lovers probably had done.  "I'm sterile, too," he told her, and she nodded, looking relieved.  After a moment, he said, "I'm sorry you don't have family around you, Amanda.  I'm sorry you've been so lonely.  I just can't go off and leave my family behind, though. I hope you can understand.  If you want, stay here.  Let me take care of business and then I'll come with you."</div> <div> "Do you mean it?" she asked.</div> <div> "Yes, I mean it," he told her.  "If we're going to be together, you'll need to start to get used to my family, you know."</div> <div> Her expression brightened.  "I would like that.  Maybe we could invite some of them to see us for New Year's?  But on Christmas-could we be alone, please?  Please, Quentin!"</div> <div> He didn't think it was unreasonable. After all, he still hadn't been re-introduced to the family and didn't know when that would happen.  "Sure," he said quietly.  "We'll have Christmas together-you and me."  He could call Katie and Mary Jane.  He didn't think he could bear to be around either of them anyway.</div> <div> She took his hand.  "In that case, I can wait for you in New York.  I would be bored to tears here while you talk to your stuffy cousin.  Although if you want me to go with you-"</div> <div> "No, it's better you don't.  It's got to do with removing that curse, and after everything we've been through it really would be better if you could avoid getting in the middle of it," he answered.  He was relieved.  It would be better if she did go to New York.  "Why don't you call the desk clerk when you've checked into the Waldorf and leave me the information?  I'll meet you there."</div> <div> "All right."  She clapped her hands together.  "I know!  I'll go to FAO Schwartz!  You'll be so surprised when you come!"</div> <div> He raised his brows wondering what on earth she could find to delight him from a toy store.  Going to one of the adult stores in Times Square and picking up a sexy teddy or a toy from there would be more fun, he thought, but he elected not to say anything.  It was better not to spoil the mood.  </div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id111.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="3: Peeling the Onion"><U>3:  Peeling the Onion</U></A>  <A HREF="id113.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="5: Going Home Again"><U>5:  Going Home Again</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cassies Writing"><U>Cassie's Writing</U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>