Phantasies: Part five

by Chris Kenworthy (scoobyhq@fcmail.com)



Disclaimer: No copyright infringment intended on the writers or owners of 'Buffy the vampire Slayer.' The song 'Only when I sleep' is also not mine.


The next thing I knew, my lips were all alone, and automatically I groaned "Xander, don't stop."

"Uhh... why not, Buff?" Xander seemed completely confused, and in that moment, a number of puzzling things hit me. I was no longer standing, but half lying down, and being moved by someone who had a strong grip under each of my arms. From where Xander's voice had been, it was clear that he was that someone. But how had he gotten behind me, and why, and why had I fallen??

I opened my eyes, and we weren't on Rebello drive. In fact, we were back in the graveyard again, and Angel was fighting a vampire, and something red was getting on my shirt...

"Oh, no," I breathed as the pieces started to click into place. It had all been a dream... again!! But when had I fallen asleep?? The fact that I was bleeding from the neck and Xander had been dragging me to safety hinted at the horrible truth - I must have conked out while fighting the second vampire! I mean, how deeply frightening is that? To know that these nightmares can get at me in the middle of a fight for my life... (admittedly, the dream wasn't all that nightmarey this time, but the 'lying unconscious while a vampire bit me' aspect more than makes up for that.)

As I was sitting there, stunned, I guess Angel got the stakeage done, because suddenly the vampire wasn't there any more, and he and Giles came over towards me. Willow was back up, too, though not looking any happier than she had in my dream. "Buffy, are you okay??" Angel asked solicitously.

I lost it. I'd really had enough of this whole dream garbage by now, and there was a ready target for my anger right there. Not Angel. Giles. "Is this sleep deprivation, Giles??" I yelled at him. "Does this look like exhaustion to you?? I fell fast asleep and started to dream, right in the middle of a fistfight with that vampire! I told you that there was magic going on, but no. Lack of REM sleep, you said. I could have died!!!"

Giles nodded, his face the picture of apologetic concern. "Indeed, there seems to be much more at work than I had been willing to believe. Perhaps we should adjourn to the library." A second's pause. "No, dash it all, Snyder booked the 'overeaters anonymous' group in there tonight. I might be able to go in and retrieve a few references, but we can't all make an appearance."

I sighed. "Your place, then? You have the first aid stuff to get us all patched up, right Giles??"

He nodded somberly. "Very well. I'll go by the school first myself. The sooner we can determine what kind of mystic influence you are under, Buffy, by far the better." Giles scanned the four of us, and then carefully handed something to Angel, (I hope, because Angel was the only one of us not wounded. Or possibly because he was the only one older than sixteen.) "Go in, take good care of them. All my first aid gear is in the bathroom."

I noticed with a part of my mind how Giles had phrased that to give Angel an invitation to his home without drawing much attention to it. Without the invite, as a vampire, Angel would be unable to step across the threshold. (I'd wondered whether Giles had had reason to invite Angel into his place before, maybe for one of those prophecy discussions that they love to have about me, but this seemed to indicate 'no.' It also hinted that the invitation could be made when the inviter wasn't at home himself. Handy fact for reference.

All the while, another part of my mind was mulling over the dreams again. So, once again, I'd been drawn in, and even fooled again by that last dream. I had been falling in love with Xander when he kissed me at the end, but as usual my feelings while awake were considerably more conflicted. What was nagging me was not the falling-in-love, but something else about the end of that dream that I realized for only an instant before I woke up, and now couldn't remember.

I guess I was so busy concentration on that mysterious runaway memory that I never even noticed when we got to Giles. The next thing I clearly remember being aware of about my surroundings was Angel cleaning the cuts on my neck with almost-hot water and a practiced touch. "You're already healing up," he commented. "No need to put a bandage on it, as far as I can tell. How are you feeling, Buffy??"

"I'll live," I admitted. "I'm frustrated and tired, and I'd like to lie down."

"Are you sure??" Those big, expressive eyes of his looked deeply into mine.

My mouth gulped before I could nod. "Yeah, yeah. After all, if being upright and in the middle of a punch-fight with a vamp won't protect me from the dreams, there's not much point in being afraid of a bed, is there??"

"I guess not," Angel admitted. "Well, there's Mister Giles' room upstairs. I can't imagine that he'd mind."

"Hmmm." I mulled that idea over for a few. "Yeah, I guess I will. You guys are okay, right??" I called that last over to Willow and Xander. I wasn't sure where they were offhand, but a few affirmatives sounded from outside the bathroom and down the hall. I got up and followed the sound to Giles' living room, where Xander was stoically ignoring his own fang marks and making sure that Willow was alright. Despite her occasional cute grimaces of discomfort, I could tell that Will was loving the attention.

So I waved and headed over to the stairs that went up one side of the living room and along the back wall until they got to the little cubbyhole that was presumably the sleeping quarters. Giles' place is pretty small, but it looks comfy for one person to live in. Maybe even two people, if they really liked each other.

Unfortunately, despite my brave words to Angel, I just couldn't relax. The dreams, the idea that I could start dreaming at any second, dominated my thoughts. I did everything I could think of to distract myself - I built forts out of Giles' covers, I paged through his bedside reading material (the very Time-life 'mysteries of the unknown' set I teased Mister Giles about the first day I met him! Kinda dull. Been there, slayed that.) According to the clock, the time was passing remarkably quickly, but I wasn't feeling any better. Going through his dresser was ruled out as too much of a violation of privacy, which left...

The radio. "Well, Mister Librarian, is your taste in music any good? Let's see." I pressed the 'radio on' button on the small clock stereo. A peppy soft rock love song was just coming to an end. Probably the staton was K-Line FM from Blackton - not good, but not as bad as I had expected.

And then the segue led into a pretty rocking riff on electric guitar, followed fairly quickly by an energetic drumbeat. Then the instrumentals faded away a little bit as a girl started to sing:

You're only just a dreamboat;
Sailing in my head.
You swim my secret oceans,
Of coral blue and red.
Your smell is incense burning,
Your touch is silk and yet -

It reaches through my skin... (oh)
Moving from within, (oh)
It clutches at my breast,
But it's only when I sleep!

Oh, great. A song about sleeping and guys. Just what I didn't need to remind me about my dreams and Xander...

I see you in my dreams,
You've got me spinnin' round and round,
Turnin' upside down.
But only when I dream (I hear you breathe,)

Somewhere in my sleep,
You've got me spinnin' round and round,
Turning up- (side down,)
But it's only when I sleep.

Images were flashing through my mind - the dance, sitting on the library table and flirting with Xander, talking with him in the modern lit classroom... the two of us as characters in a space fantasy, as spies on a faraway Mexican beach... seducing him in his bedroom, in the Bronze, in the she-mantis' lair... All the images from my dreams...

And when I wake from slumber,
Your shadows disappear.
Your breath is just a sea-mist,
Surroundin' my body.
I'm workin' through the daytime,
But when it's time to rest...

And then it hit me. This was another dream!! It was all too carefully orchestrated not to be. The music, the memories... I had fallen asleep again and not known it!! Aahrgh!!!

I'm lyin' in my bed,
Listnin' to my breath.
Fallin' from the edge,
But it's ONLY WHEN I SLEEP!!

Furious, I bent down, rooted out the cord that plugged from the clock radio into a wall outlet and yanked it out. But the music didn't stop! I guess I couldn't beat the dream so easily, now could I??

See you in my dreams, (Dreams!)
Got me spinnin' round and round,
Turnin' upside down, (But only...)
I hear you breathe,
Somewhere in my sleep, (In my sleep!)
Got me spinnin' round and round,
Turnin' up- (side down,)
But it's only when I sleep.

As the singers started to "yeah yeah" their way through the instrumental, I really lost it. Who did this dream think it was, messing up my life like this. I screamed the loudest, most furious scream I've ever screamed and flung the radio across the room. It hit the door with a satisfying 'CRACK' sound and fell to the floor, but didn't stop playing.

It's only when I sleep...

Suddenly I heard footsteps flying quickly up the floor and someone knocked. I didn't answer, and the door flew open anyways, Angel behind it. "Buffy?? Are you okay???"

"What's it to you, you dream vampire?" I asked, as Angel, Willow, Xander, and Giles filed into the room. "I know I'm dreaming, and none of you are real, so I'm not going to listen to a word you have to say, especially you, you..."

Just as I was about to point to Xander, he stepped up to me, and without a word of warning pinched me on the arm. Hard!! "No dream," he muttered. "Satisfied??"

"Huh???"

"Buffy, this isn't a dream," Willow said in turn. "Well, I don't know if a dream-Willow would say that, but I don't think I am. But maybe a dream-Willow would say that too..."

"What makes you think that you're dreaming??" Giles put in.

"The radio!!" I half yelled, pointing to it. "Unplugged! Still playing!!"

(Up to the sky, where angels fly,)
(I'll never die, I'll never...)

"Umm... the radio has batteries," Giles pointed out. "It's also impact resistant for travelling, thank goodness."

"Ooops," I muttered. "But the song!!"

(Ah.) It's reaching through my skin.
Movin' from within.
And clutches at my breast... yeah...

"So?" Xander asked. "It's the new Corrs single."

"Yeah," Willow agreed. "I've heard it before. 'Only when I...'"

But it's only when I sleep!
See you in my -

"Ohmygod!!" Willow bent down and pushed the 'radio off' button, cutting the Corrs off in mid-phrase. "No wonder you freaked, Buffy. You..."

"Oh, nevermind," I growled, upset at having played the fool and jumped to the conclusion that I was dreaming this time when I wasn't. Desperate for a new subject, I turned to Giles. "How's the research coming? Any ideas what I'm up against??"

"Umm... yes," Giles admitted. "From all that you told me this morning, and the incident in the graveyard tonight, it sounds like the Rite of Kafarrion, to distract and torment the victim with troubling dreams."

"Torment? Victim??" I groaned. "So let me guess... this is just the beginning?"

"Hopefully not," Giles put in. "We've been able to find a ritual for tracing the magic to its source. Hopefully, we should be able to free you of its influence by sunrise."

"We were getting ready for it when we heard the... racket," Willow put in.

"Okay, cool," I decided. "The sooner I find out who's doing this to me, the better."

Angel nodded. "Should we come back and get you when we're ready, Buffy, or do you want to..."

"I can't stay by myself any more," I admitted. "My nerves could get the better of me again. Better to be with you guys, I think." I led the way back to the stairs.

Everyone busied themselves with various stuff when we got back to the living room - except for me, that is. I knew that I was still way too wired to be productive with magic type stuff, so I just sat on the sofa and tried to relax.

"Hullo," Giles muttered, his nose deep in a book. "We... we haven't got enough people as it stands to cast the tracing rite. It requires four participants, not counting the affected subject, who'll be Buffy."

"You, me, Willow, and Angel only makes four," Xander confirmed.

"Who else can we ask for help with something like this??" Willow asked. "It'd have to be somebody who knows about Buffy and won't tell. Ooh - Miss Calendar's a good one. But who else?"

"Cordelia," Xander announced. Everyone turned to look at him. "Well, who else is there? I don't like her either, but she was there on Spring fling night, and we just saved her life a few days ago. Hopefully, that'll buy us some good behavior."

"Xander, do you realize who you're talking about??" Willow asked.

Xander gulped. "Yeah. No good behavior. So I'm gonna have to play the 'nobody else' card."

"Unfortunately, he's right," Angel agreed. "How soon do you think we can have them both over here??"

"Nothing for that but to make the calls and see, I suppose," Giles muttered, walking over to his little plug-in telephone. To his surprise, it started to ring as he approached, and as he picked the receiver up, his face went slightly smiley and he whispered "Jenny?"

There was a pause. "Umm... yes he is. One moment." Then Giles took the phone and covered the mouthpiece with his other hand, gesturing to Xander. "Quickly??"

Xander took the phone. "Hello?? Oh, yeah, sorry. Something... well, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but a friend of mine is in trouble, and I'm going to have to reschedule... Yes, yes I understand... Well, can you just let me know when you make up your mind?? You know where to find me, right?... Yeah, goodbye." He hung up the phone, and Giles moved back in to start calling a number he knew, (presumably Miss Calendar's.)

"Who was that, Xander?" Willow asked curiously.

"Oh, n-no one," Xander stuttered.

"It didn't sound like no one," Willow argued stubbornly.

"Megan," I announced. Xander whirled to face me, blushing. "It was Megan from school, right? That girl you have a big crush on??"

Xander didn't say anything, which was answer enough in itself.

Willow picked up my train of thought. "You had a date with her tonight, didn't you? Which date you just had to blow off."

"Could you drop it, Willow??" Xander asked quietly. Our redheaded friend quickly shut up and started paging through her book of ritual precautions.

That phone call couldn't seem to drop out of my mind though. Xander had no idea what I had been dreaming about. He had a shot with Megan, and he gave it up. Because I needed his help as a friend.

How that fit into the puzzle of my feelings for Xander I couldn't begin to say.

In time, everything was made ready. Giles had me sit in the middle of a six-pointed star in Giles' living room while the others waved candles and recited chants around me. Giles finished the final incantation, (very impressive-sounding,) and I waited.

Nothing at all happened.

"Okay, what gives??" I muttered. "Giles, how is this thing supposed to work??"

"Umm... it gives you the ability to find your way to the caster of the spell," he said.

"As in, I'll just know the direction??" I stood up. "Cool... except that I don't."

"Not... that way," Jenny Calendar put in, looking pale. "Rupert, you didn't tell her??"

"Um... no."

"Tell me what?" I demanded.

"You have to find your way to your enemy... in your sleep," Giles said, blushing. "You have to go back into your dreams again, Buffy."

"WHAT??"


To be continued...

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