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by Chris Kenworthy (scoobyhq@fcmail.com)
Disclaimer: No copyright infringment intended on the writers or owners of 'Buffy the vampire Slayer.'
So I put on a pair of old jeans, kinda baggy now, since I'd lost weight over the past few months, and a thick cotton work shirt, plaid no less, that I hadn't even known that I owned. Hair; hmm... after trying a few things, each of which somehow ended up looking cuter than I wanted, I grabbed a ratty old baseball cap, and pulled half of my hair up under it and the other half coming out through the little hole in the back. Hmm... it would have to do for now.
Sticking my feet into the first socks I grabbed and plain sneakers, I rushed down the stairs and out the door before Mom could challenge me. Soon I was wandering the graveyard. No vamps. Doesn't that just figure??
Soon enough, though, I heard footsteps behind me. Not lurky dangerous vampire footsteps. Stuffy tweedy footsteps. "Hello Giles."
"Hi Buffy." The voice wasn't that of my friendly neighborhood watcher, though. Less mature, Less formal, and a lot less uptight.
I swung around, totally freaked out for an instant. Sure enough, there behind the slightly worried face of Rupert G was Xander Harris' figure, smiling gamely at me. On the other side of the tweed guy were Angel and Willow. "Well, cheer, cheer, the gang's all here," I muttered sarcastically. "What's the idea, Rupert?"
"After what you told him about your dreams," Willow started somewhat uncertainly, "Giles thought that..."
"You TOLD them???" I yelled at him. "God, Giles, that stuff was deeply personal!! Can you tell from private?"
"I didn't, um..." Giles started, then stalled into meaningless stutterings at that point.
"No details," Angel explained more succintly. "Just that you've been tired a lot lately, and having weird dreams. We all thought that the more people who were around for patrol, the better. But if you've got a problem with any of us being here, just say the word and those of us are gone." I could tell from the look on his face that he expected to be the one I would have issues with - which made sense. Last we talked, we weren't exactly on the most civil of terms.
So... great, tough decision here. I didn't mind having Angel here, or Giles. Willow was okay, too, except I'd worry about her getting hurt and having her around kinda made the whole patrol thing seem more like high school extracurriculars. I didn't want to have to pick on her to go home, though.
And I definitely didn't want to do anything to give away that the one I was really uncomfortable around was Xander. If he, or Xander, or any of them got the slightest clue of what was really going on I'd just die of total and utter embarassment. Possibly turning into something mutant and green first - I'm not sure. So I shrugged and heard my voice say, "No, I'm good. Just hadn't expected this much company."
"Umm! Well, uh, okay then," Giles said, breathing what sounded a sigh of relief. So he thought he was off the hook, then? Well, I'd disabuse him of that notion later. "Any, um... sightings? Of the paranormal, or, un... und--"
"Undead?" I finished. "Nope. Totally dead here at the cemetary." I shrugged. "Wanna try swinging around to Weatherly?"
"No," Xander broke in. "Two vampires are gonna rise here tonight."
I turned around and stared at him. I couldn't help it, though the last thing I was comfortable with was to be facing him directly at this point. "How the heck do you know??"
Xander shrugged. "Heard Giles and Willow talking about it today in the library. A guy and a girl, killed up at Varian point a few days ago. Neck wounds and bloodstains in the mouth."
Oh. "Yeah, that sounds about right. They were buried today?" Giles nodded. "Then I guess we wait for the dead to rise."
There was a big awkward silence after that. We ended up splitting into two groups, one watching each grave, me and Angel, Giles, Willow, and Xander. I set things up that way, actually, though I had no idea what to say to Angel.
Neither did he, for the longest while. About a half an hour after we'd settled down to wait, he finally spoke up. "I don't know where we are anymore."
I looked down at his sad, handsome face for the longest time. (I was sitting on top of a gravestone while he kinda half lay down on the ground.) "I'm not sure if I ever did," I admitted. But I remembered how good it had felt to cry in his arms after I had finally stopped the master's restoration. Angel could make me feel so safe. At certain times. And other times, he threatened me, made me feel in danger. Which one of these was the appealling part? Because when I was close to Angel and I realized that he was a vampire, a monster, (if a good one,) and as strong as I was, that was one of the times I felt as alive as I could ever remember.
I pushed that particular thought aside, not wanting to delve into the depths of my attraction for deadly guys. "I like you a lot," I told him after a little while. "And I really appreciate everything you've ever done to help me, Slaying-wise. Hints about the Harvest, a heads-up on claw-y monsters, getting Giles prophecy books out of nowhere and a hand dealing with more vampires than I can count. You've done so much to keep me alive and kicking here, and you so don't deserve what I told you about not trusting you in that way."
Pause for breath. "But as far as there ever being a 'we'... I don't even know if that's possible, and I'm so far from knowing if it's something that I want. I have a hard enough time deciding if I want to wear my new purple blouse in the morning, or whatever. But I do know that the last thing I want to do is to hurt or upset you, so..."
"Quiet," Angel barked out, suddenly. I cut my ramble off, shocked. If I was saying something wrong, the least he could do was tell me politely that I didn't need to pour my heart out to him. But he caught my look, and quietly raised a finger to his lips. Oh!! It wasn't a 'shut up because I don't want to hear what you're saying anymore' kind of quiet, but an 'I need quiet' kind of quiet...
"She's coming," he breathed softly. In a few seconds I could hear it to - a scraping from within the grave we were supposed to be watching. Whoops.
As a face surrounded by dirty blonde hair, (literally dirty,) poked up through the ground, I asked Angel something I'd always wondered about this kind of event. "Is there some kind of ground rules about staking the newly risen vampires?? Are you supposed to wait until they're standing up or anything? Because going for the stake as soon as her heart gets above the ground level seems like cheating."
Angel shot a dark look at me. "This isn't fox-hunting, Buffy. There's no etiquette. She's a soulless demon now, and you stake her as soon as you easily can."
Somehow I wasn't so easily convinced. As the vampire girl got her waist level out of the grave ground, Angel looked over to see if I was going to get down and stake her, then jumped forward himself when it seemed like I wouldn't.
A little too quickly. Vamp-gal reached out with a pale, grubby arm, and yanked him off-balance by the ankle. Angel tumbled past her and landed face-first on the fresh green grass.
"C'mon, get up," I told her as I hopped down to a standing position myself. She did, quickly pulling up her legs, (in some long formal skirt that they'd buried her in,) up and standing to her interpretation of a karate fighting position.
Not a very good one. I lunged forward, feinted, blocked a wild punch, grabbed her left arm and threw her over my shoulder. A quick introduction to mister stake, and it was all over. Just a dusting of ashes that should help fertilize the lawn of the cemetary.
"Since when are you chivalrous?" Angel grumbled as he picked himself up.
"It just doesn't seem right, staking them before they're ready," I commented. "I wouldn't want them to do that to me."
"Any vampire would cut your throat in your sleep if he had a quarter of a chance," Angel shot back. "Well, except for me of course."
"Even so." I stretched, feeling good after the exertion. "Well, since our vampire showed up first, I guess we go over and wait with the guys."
"Not so sure we were first," Angel blurted out suddenly, looking over my shoulder. I spun around, and saw that Xander and Giles were locked in struggle with a figure dressed in black. I couldn't see Willow, and wasted no time in sprinting off on an intercept course as quickly as I could, weaving between gravestones to make the fastest possible time. I could hear Angel's footsteps close behind me.
As I got closer to the scene of the action, I could make out the detail. Willow was lying on the ground, eyes closed, an ugly scrape marring the skin between her right eye and right ear. In the absence of any weapon that would leave such a mark, I could only assume that she had been shoved into one of the headstones, ground against it hard enough for her skin to give under the strain. There would be payback for that.
The adversary was indeed a vampire, a young teenager one in a dark blue suit, quite likely the boyfriend of the girl we had just dispatched. He seemed quite strong and violent, but Giles had managed to grab his hands and pinion them together behind his back in a very clumsy restraint hold. Xander had a stake out and was trying to use it, but the vamp was obviously still with it enough to dodge and avoid the weapon. A few good punches ought to remedy that.
But a reversal hit before I got close enough to deliver the cure. I saw exactly what happened next, too out of breath to even cry a warning. Bending forward slightly, the vampire waited just a second for Giles to automatically adjust to his new position, then he lifted one leg off the ground and hooked his foot around Giles' ankle. Then, with a violent wrench, he twisted to the side. My mentor stumbled and headed towards the ground, caught off guard by such a simple maneuver, his own weight and the vampire's working punishingly against him.
Xander dived forward in dismay, trying once again to drive the stake home in the midst of this unfortunate development. It was so totally the wrong move to make. Having pushed Giles onto the cold earth, his arms now free as Rupert had let his hands go in his lack of balance, the vampire grabbed onto Xander's shoulders, using the young, strong, teenager for support to make certain that he wouldn't go into the ground right after the watcher. Pulling himself upright next to Xander, the undead fiend bared his fangs and went for the neck so quickly that Xander Harris probably didn't even think of resisting.
Fortunately for Xander, though, this moment was when the law of inertia that Mister Phinnon keeps droning on about, decreed that my momentum would carry me into the body of the vampire. I tackled him with as much brutal energy as I could manage, and then shoved him into the fence that seperated the cemetary from a lumber-yard so I could work him over a bit more.
Crescent kick to the head. A few good punches, just for good luck. Elbow to the stomach, forearm to the head. By now he was looking pretty dazed, so I pulled out the stake and ended it. Vampires nothing, Buffy Summers two. Good enough score for me.
Of course, I realized in a few seconds that there were friends of mine who hadn't fared so badly, and I rushed back to see what was what. Angel had gone over to Giles, and seemed to be getting him to his feet okay, and Xander was already walking around himself, a hand on his neck where blood was flowing, so I rushed over to Willow.
"Jesse, did you get the serial number of that robot??" she was mumbling when I got there.
"Hey. Will??"
"Huh??" Willow's eyes opened and she looked up at me. "Oh, hey, Buffy. What happened? Oh, wait. Vampire, right??"
"Right," I assured her, kneeling down to take a look at her face. "That looks pretty gruesome. Does it hurt??"
"Only a lot."
"I have some first aid supplies that should be of assistance, Miss Rosenberg," Giles wheezed out somewhat wearily. I turned around to look up at him, glad that he seemed to be okay. "Rubbing alcohol to make sure that the wound gets disinfected, some painkilers." He ran over something in his mind. "Not certain whether I have appropriate bandages for Mister Harris' injury, though."
I turned to look at Xander, who had really got toothed worse than I thought by that vamp. "Oh, well I d..." I started to say before thinking about it, and cut myself off.
Xander looked at me curiously. "You d-what, Buffy?"
I sighed, realizing that I really had no option but to finish my thought. "I do - have bandages, that is. A Slayer must occasionally."
Giles nodded, completely missing my reluctance to part with that information. "Okay. That should work out well. Um, Angel... could you follow Willow and I to my building? That way, each party will have one completely sound member. I'm certain that Willow and I don't fit that description."
Angel didn't look wild about that possibility, and I wasn't either, but there didn't seem to be much that could be done about that. Giles, Willow, and Angel headed off one way, and I helped Xander the other.
As we turned the corner onto Rebello sidewalk, Xander sighed with exasperation. "What is it, Buffy? You keep looking at me as if you think I'm about to explode or something."
I sighed a little, myself. "I'm sorry, Xander. I don't mean to be being... weird. It's just... I can't feel entirely comfortable around you right now."
Xander's eyes widened. "Uh... why? Because of the dance thing? I thought we agreed to put that behind us. I'm moving on. Even stalking a new girl, in case you'd forgot. And speaking of Megan..."
"I'm not," I interrupted. Xander flashed me a very surprised look. "I mean, well, I'm not speaking of Megan, and I don't think I'm moving on." Xander was obviously very confused now, and I figured I might as well spill all the beans. "I've been having dreams about you, Xander. Very weird, very powerful, very personal kinds of dreams."
Xander stopped still, seeming to need a minute to absorb that. "Okay. I won't pry any furth-"
"I love you." Whoops. "In the dreams, I mean. In the dreams, I'm in love with you."
Once again Xander boggled at the notion. "Oh-kay. And when you're not dreaming??"
"I'm not sure," I blurted out. "When this all started, I was starting to wonder if I was falling in love with you. But the way things are going... the way I feel when I wake up from a dream... I have no idea what any of this means, but..." I tried to form some kind of thought to follow that up, but couldn't. "No idea at all."
Xander put a hand on my arm and brought us both gently to a stop. We were only two houses away from my mom's place. "Buffy Summers, could I kiss you??"
I looked into his eyes, and panicked. "No, Xander. I don't think that's something..."
"Come on, Buffy." He was utterly sincere, and somehow that brought my protest to a screeching halt. "I'm not going after a cheap thrill here - I think you know me better than that. We have never kissed - ever, right? If you're... trying to figure out how you feel about me, it just might turn out to be relevant information, right? Couldn't hurt, after all. 'If you want to know if love is real, it's in the kiss.'"
I indulged in a doubtful laugh. "Do you believe everything that's in old songs, Xander??"
He ignored that. "May I?" Defeated, I nodded.
He stepped close to me, and I was reminded of our dance. There was no perfume tonight, no aftershave. Just Xander, and I, and the faint odor of blood from the healing cuts on his neck, which I did my best to put out of mind.
Slowly, ever so nervously, Xander leaned close to me, his hands reaching out but uncertain of where to go. Finally they came to rest, ever so tenderly, on the hips of my jeans, and he started to bring his face closer to mine.
Our lips touched. It was so gentle I had a hard time believing that this was really Xander 'horn-dog' Harris. As his lips pressed so sweetly against mine, I never even bothered comparing him to any of the other boys I had kissed. He was obviously the first perfect ten I had come across.
And, in that brief moment, I'm sure that I glimpsed the truth.
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