Imponderables

I know you've all seen them out  there... a few here, a few there.. but I thought I might compile a comprehensive list - I'll add more as I find them :-)

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit  while you're ahead"
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Clones are people two.
No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
As I said before, I never repeat myself!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? 
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Why do they call them "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
What is the speed of dark?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why do kamikaze pilot wear helmets?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? 
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
If man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?
Is there another word for synonym?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Why does unscented hair spray smell?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why are people immune to their own body odor?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why do you never hear about gruntled employees?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Do they use sterilized needles for fatal injections?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If 7-11 is open 24 h/d, 365 d/yr, why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Should we be concerned that doctors describe their work as "practice?"
If cement was invented 7,000 years ago, why isn't the whole planet paved?
How do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom?
Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot-dog buns 8 to a package?
If you build an idiot-proof system, will the world create a better-quality idiot?
Why is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink  and drive?
Light travels faster than sound; is that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be?
A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. What occurs at a desk with a work station?
Why is it that when you ship something by truck it's called a shipment, but when you send it by ship it's called cargo?
When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Do you think Houdini ever locked his keys in his car?
Why is there a road sign that says "Braille Institute, Next Exit"?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If procrastinators had a club would they ever have a meeting?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference between here and there?
When you go into a hotel you always see reception. Why do you never just see ception?
Isn't it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?
If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra would they get a four-legged chicken with its own barcode?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
Why is there always one in every crowd? And what is it one of?
If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time?
Why do hair shampoo instructions say "Lather. Rinse. Repeat"? If you did this, would you ever be able to stop?
Who decided "Hotpoint" would be a good name for a company that sells refrigerators?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is  reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,  models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed ?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?_ What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail ?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 9 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How would you throw away a garbage can?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Why do they but Braille numbers on drive-up ATM's?
Do police sketch artists start out by drawing chalk outlines?
Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
Should a mute be yelled at for talking with their hands full?
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
Do cannibals get hungry one hour after eating a Chinaman?

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