Japan, 1991
Cast: Kousuke Toyohara, Ana Nakagawa, Yoshio Tsuchiya, Shoji Kobayashi, Chuck Wilson
Directed by: Kasuki Omori

VIOLENCE:

THE PLOT:
In 1992 (the near future when this movie was made), a UFO lands in Japan. The authorities are shocked when the crew turns out to be time travelers from the year 2204. They claim to have gone back to the 20th century to prevent Godzilla from destroying Japan. In order to do this, they intend to take a writer and a dinosaur specialist back to World War II, to the island where the dinosaur that would eventually mutate into Godzilla first appeared, to prevent him from being exposed to the nuclear blast that would unleash the monster. Thereīs double-crosses and triple-crosses galore when our heroes discover the Future Men have more sinister intentions.

THE LOWDOWN:
This Godzilla roundtable is a welcome chance to pay tribute to one of B-moviedomīs most endearing characters, even if it happens to be 200-feet tall, green, scaly and ornery as a pitbull. In addition to fulfilling my kaiju quota, which is mandatory for every B-movie website the world over, this gives me a chance to reminisce about one of the most influential individuals in my life. Itīs safe to assume that we all have a relative or family friend that we look up to as wee ones. Iīm not talking about the inspirational bullshit that Hollywood cranks out with distressing regularity, in which a young lad(y) discovers the simple joys of life while helping Granpa build an outhouse. Instead, Iīm referring to that special uncle or older cousin who taught you how to roll a joint or cheat at poker. Therefore, this roundtable review will allow me to briefly pay hommage to the man who taught me about B-movies: Uncle Gamboin.

It hardly matters that Gamboin wasnīt his real name or that he wasnīt really my uncle. Whatīs important is that I twist this overlong intro into an opportunity to thank Francisco Gamboa, who went by the monicker Uncle Gamboin while hosting Channel 5īs El Cinito del Tio Gamboin ("Uncle Gamboinīs Little Bijou"), fondly remembered by Mexican trash cinema aficionados now in their late 20īs and early 30īs as their gateway into the wild and wacky world of low budget cinema. It was as a kid watching every sciencie-fiction and monster movie that appeared in that show that I first became aware of Godzilla. More than twenty years have elapsed since, and Iīd be lying if I said I clearly remember the titles of the movies I saw back then, but I do recall Ghidrah, Rodan, Mothra, Kingu Kongu and, of course, Godzilla trampling on miniatures that I found unconvincing even as a kid.

Anal retentive types have always pointed out this minor flaw in the Godzilla series as a reason not to consider it worthy of further study. These are the same party poopers who would have everyone watch nothing but documentaries and le French cinema and who are apparently unable to find any joy at all in watching movies. Somehow, these same experts have beed led to believe that everything that happens in a movie must be realistic to the point of excluding anything that may be overly terrifying, fanciful or imaginative. Iīve always found it strange that the only people who canīt understand that movies are just make believe are those who call themselves experts.

If you ever need to explain to someone the appeal of the kaiju eiga genre you could do a lot worse than making them sit through Godzilla vs. King Ghidrah. While doing extensive research for this review (i.e. glancing at the first ten sites that came up on Google) I noticed that this one seems to be among everyoneīs favorite Godzilla movies. I canīt claim to have seen every giant monster movie that ever came out of Japan, but Iīm sure that has a lot to do with the entertainment value of this particular episode. Even though Godzilla shows up after nearly half the movie has run its course, thereīs more than enough excitement throughout to make it worth your while. Thereīs a UFO, time travel, a fiendish plot to destroy Japan, King Ghidrah himself (or themselves, as it turns out), laser battles, an android with a receding hairline, World War II, a Godzillasaurus and more to help you pass the time while Godzilla makes a dramatic appearance.

Itīs enough action to make you forget that the plot makes no sense at all. In addition to all the time travel paradoxes, which Nathan Shumate over at Cold Fusion Video has already discussed at his length in his review of this movie, thereīs a staggering amount of lapses in logic, dubious science and throwaway characters. A good example of a situation that will leave you scratching your head is the scene where Emi and Terasawa are driving along a busy street when they notice M-11, the Future Menīs balding android, is catching up with them in his own car. They avoid being captured and make M-11īs car crash, except the android simply gets up, outruns their van and stops it dead in its tracks with his bare hands, making me wonder why he bothered driving a car in the first place.

Iīm aware that weird science is a staple of the Godzilla movies and itīs something that should in no way detract from oneīs enjoyment of the movies, but this whole "dinosaur mutated by radiation" thing has always bothered me. Iīm no biologist and I understand writer/director Kasuki Omori can dream up whatever he wants, itīs just that I donīt think thatīs the way mutation works. While mutation can certainly be provoked by radiation it isnīt something that would turn an average dinosaur, even if itīs a Godzillasaurus, into a 100-feet tall behemoth with radioactive breath and an agenda. Instead, it would probably make his offspring goofy looking.

Perhaps the biggest drawback of Godzilla vs. King Ghidrah is Miki, introduced as a member of the ESP Research Institute in Japanīs Godzilla Defense Forces (GDS for short). Thatīs certainly an impressive title but I think itīs Japanese doubletalk for "coffee maker", as Miki īs role was limited to barging into the conference room yelling "Ghidrah is attacking Hokkaido!" whenever things would get too talky. Miki had previously appeared in Godzilla vs. Biollante and was probably an attempt by Toho to substitute the Kenny (in Godzilla lore, thatīs shorthand for "annoying little kid in hot pants who befriended Godzilla in previous episodes") with something that might appeal to a bigger audience than just Catholic priests. However, the powers that be at Toho must have realized Miki was too worthless a character to merit much screen time in this installment. Iīm all for a higher ratio of cute Japanese actresses in the Godzilla franchise but this ESP nonsense was really begging for a punchline, I mean, they need a psychic to track down Godzilla? I read somewhere that the Japanese will go to extraordinary lenghts to save face, so while watching this movie I pretended Miki was only a temp and everyone in the office acted like she was a psychic and a valuable member of the team in order to avoid an embarrassing confrontation. Then again, the Godzilla Defense Forces in this movie did little more than play cheese hostess to a writer and an activist, so maybe Miki deserved a spot in the GDS after all .

When I set out to write this review I intended to find some information on Tohoīs reasons for disregarding the continuity in previous films and rewriting the Godzilla story with this whole time travel thing. Unfortunately, I didnīt find a whole lot of info on the subject while snooping around the internet. Memo to the fanboys: research would be appreciated. All I did learn about Godzilla is that there are two different series: the Heisei series, in which Godzilla is a big meanie, and the original series, where he was chummy with a kid in hot pants. According to Godzilla scholars, Godzilla vs. King Ghidrah fits into the Heisei period. However, Iīm not so sure. Some characters in this movie acted like Godzilla was Japanīs savior, usually right before he turned into them into lumpy goo. I get the feeling the good people at Toho were at a loss as to whether Godzilla should be a hero or a villain in this one. Eventually, I gave up trying to figure out just how many alternate realities does Godzilla inhabit and decided that I didnīt really care how this movie fits into the Godzilla mythos. Maybe Tohoīs next movie should be Crisis of Infinite Godzillas or something along those lines.

This nitpicking of mine might lead some people to believe that Godzilla vs. King Ghidrah isnīt that great. If thatīs the case, then itīs entirely due to my shortcomings as a writer and not to those of the movie. Those negative aspects Iīve mentioned arenīt nearly enough to dampen my enthusiasm for this series and this movie in particular. If youīre reading this, I donīt think I have to explain the timeless appeal of grown men in monster suits thrashing around in an itty bitty version of the Japanese landscape. The effects are good enough than even when the action gets a little silly (try not to giggle when Mecha King Ghidrah makes his final move against Godzilla) your suspension of disbelief isnīt strained too badly, although it will still get a serious workout. Akira Ifukubeīs score is rousing as always and everyone involved, both behind and in front of the camera, do their job with a straight face, which is more than you can say for a lot of recent sci-fi and horror efforts.

You donīt think so? Let me know: smut_criminal@yahoo.com.mx

The other Rogue Reviewers and their contributions to this roundtable:

The Agony Booth: Godzilla (1998)

Atomic Nightmare Theater: Godzilla Raids Again

The B-Hive: Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster

B-Movie Central: Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

The B-Movie Film Vault: Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster & King Kong vs. Godzilla

Danteīs Inferno & All-Night Video Store: Godzilla vs. Megalon

The Dungeon: Terror of Mechagodzilla

Eccentric Cinema: Destroy All Monsters

The Monkeyhouse Lounge: Godzilla 2000

Mutant Orange: Godzilla vs. Mothra

Painful Cinema: Godzilla 2000

Severenīs World of Really Awful Movies: Godzilla 2000

Web Horror: Godzilla vs. Destroyah

Đ 2001-2003 Marco Gonzalez