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Authors note: took me long enough. OK it’s done hope you like it there may or may not be a sequel. I don’t know yet. For those who know me, you know that I am writing a big saga. However I am writing it out of order and so I don’t know yet if I am going to tying this in, but whether I do or not the concept of vampires is the way it will be in all my stories.
Feedback: I’m going to make this easy, if you liked it all you have to do is send an E-mail with a symbol that looks like this: @. If you don’t like, send this: &. Simple right, I know.
“I don’t.”
He didn’t want to be with her. After all they had gone through, after all the pain. He didn’t want to be with her. She wasn’t lying or exaggerating to willow when she said she wanted to die. That’s all she wanted. Except angel. She knew she could convince him to stay, make his revolve crumble to ash like the vampires she staked every night. But did she want that to have him by default or weakness. No, she told him Christmas that if he couldn’t fight and she couldn’t convince him otherwise, then she wasn’t going to stick around and watch. Nor did she plan on doing so now. No, she would let him go, but what she didn’t know, or maybe did, was whether or not she could survive his departure. So here she was standing over Sunnydale, the same cliff where she had found Angel Christmas night.
“Long way down kid, even a slayer would have a hard time living through that,” came a familiar voice from behind her. Spinning around to give him an angry glare.
“You knew,” she stated simply
“Actually we had no idea, but why do I get the feeling you’re not referring to one thing in particular,” Whistler said wryly. He already didn’t like the way this was going. He had planed on coming here explaining how much Angel loved her, give her a shoulder to cry on, and let things take there course. However she clearly had other thing on her mind.
“You’re right, I’m not, But I can rectify that: why did you send him to me, why did you not warn us about the curse, why do I feel like I was a pawn to get Angel to join the side of good, and why is he leaving me and you are not doing anything about it?” She finished all most hysterical.
“You want to know kid, the truth. Because I can tell you now you are not going to like the answers I have.” Honestly he was officially petrified. The answers he had were not going to give her a happy and quite possibly end up giving her the last reason to kill herself. The straw that broke the camels back.
“And not knowing is better how,” she asked matter-of-factly?
“Alright, but let’s go in order shall we. We sent Angel to you because we knew you could help him make something of himself. We expected you to help him, he help you. Maybe have a thing for a while and then move on. We didn’t think the information on the curse was relevant. But nether of you struck to our plan.”
“So you admit it you and your bosses knew about the clause, and just how would that not be relevant,” she yell fuming. She was seething, and Whistler had the feeling that if he looked into her eyes he’d be dust.
“Because we didn’t think you could do it, that’s how.” In for a penny in for a dime.
“Excuse me?!”
“You once told Angel in this very place you knew every thing he did because he did it to you. You also said you still loved him and nothing would ever change that.”
“Just what the hell does that mean,” Buffy was about ready to jump down there and ring the annoying demons neck.
“Thousand and thousands of people died horrifying and gruesome deaths at his hands, girls he drove insane, 15 slayers gone before they knew what hit them. But the worse is that he remembers everything because it wasn’t some distant monster but him, his demons.” Buffy’s expression was unchanging and only served to increase the demons respect for her. “You knew didn’t you, that Angelus wasn’t different but the same.”
“He said during that fiasco with vamp willow that the demon was actually the person.”
“No, you knew before that. We thought you couldn’t kill him when he went bad because he looked the same as the man you loved, but that wasn’t it was it.”
“You thought I risked my friends lives for a MEMORY, are you people insane!?” At that moment Dru couldn’t hold a candle to Buffy.
“You tell me.”
“No, you tell me since your suppose to have all the answers.”
“Fine, the demon of a vampire isn’t some beast from the depths of hell, but a manifestation of the persons deepest fear, darkest thoughts, the thing the man can be but isn’t.” Whistler waited a beat before continuing, “but you already knew that,” more of a statement than a question?
“Yea I knew, why else would a vampire always go after their old friends and family.” This was not the conversation she wanted to be having.
“This being an example of what I ment earlier, about us not thinking the clause was relevant.”
“OK, now you lost me.”
“All those people on his conscience all the death and destruction, personally I couldn’t survive 1-->day with that let alone 80 years, then get past it enough to be someone, and the idea it was possible to go 1 sec with out guilt is inconceivable.” When Buffy still looked confused he continued, “after everything he had done we didn’t think you could help him. But you did, you loved him after everything than went on to risk your life for him.”
“I’m still not following.”
“Plain English, he hurt and you fixed it, if only for a second, he didn’t feel any guilt.”
“And you didn’t think that was possible.”
“I know you know what I mean but I don’t think you get the significant of it,” said whistler getting a little more comfortable with the conversation.
“Your right, I don’t, but that doesn’t matter. I get why you sent him, and why you didn’t tell me about the clause but what about the rest? Am I a pawn to get him good, is that all I am? And if I was so important to make him good why is he now leaving me and why aren’t you doing something about it?”
‘Damn if I don’t tell her she’ll freak and they’ll be finding my body for weeks, or I could tell her and she’ll jump for sure?’ Whistler was having a nerves break down, if Buffy died Angle would go postal, soul or no. Though he knew she had to know, but was this the time and place to tell her?
Sensing his hesitation Buffy cleared her throat and made sure she looked annoyed. “You can’t tell me half and call us even.”
‘I don’t get paid enough for this’. “Every one has a soul mate right,” Whistler waited a beat before continuing. “I think Angel is yours. The funny thing about Vampires is that they don’t feel, therefore they kill all the knew as humans. Usually that means soul mates. A person is destined to meet certain people all through out life, when they turn they still meet these people. You following so far?”
“Yea, go on.”
“Good, now because a vampire doesn’t take the time to get chummy with people they kill most of those they would have met in life. Now, here is the confusing part. Because a vampire lives a long time, many life times, the people they are suppose to meet, they keep meeting and killing. Over and over again. Out of the 15 slayers Angel took down, you where 7 of them. Plus several just normal people. Meaning he has killed you alot.”
“What does this have to do with why Angel is leaving me?”
“Something happened when Angel died, he became someone else, not new but still different, it separated him from, well you. From the day Angel died he was no longer tied to you, but you are still tied to him.” ‘Buffy is going to love this, if there is a god don’t let her jump immediately.’
“Meaning?” ‘Do not let this mean what I think he just said.’
“Your destiny is tied to his, but his is not tied to yours. You need him to live, he doesn’t need you. That’s why he’s leaving, and we’re letting him because since he doesn’t need you, you are only a distraction.” whistler watched as a tide of emotions played on her face. Buffy just stood there looking at him. After several minutes she turned and looked out over the city that was still asleep. Unknowing of the pain that was rushing through Buffy.
All the while she heard every thing come together. Angel coped so much better, so many times he had helped her. She didn’t fix his problems, but she could make him forget if only for a little while. Finally she turned to Whistler, “So why do you care what happens to me.”
“That’s the way it should be, but is only half.”
“Cryptic much.”
“Sorry, if you were so unimportant you wouldn’t have been able to make Angel forget his guilt. The fact is we don’t know where you stand. You could die and nothing would happen, or you could die and Angel could turn back into the pathetic mess he was in Manhattan, we just don’t know.”
“And this is suppose to make me feel better, because if it is, it’s not working.”
“No, but you know that he’s yours, you need him and he may need you. Maybe you should just give him the chance to find out.” Whistler said this with as much care as he could, and was suppressed when a smile began to play on Buffy’s lips.
“Alright.”
“Huh.”
“Who am I to turn Angel away if he might need me someday.” Whistler didn’t know it but he had just given Buffy new hope for the future.
“And who am I to argue. How about we go and get some coffee at Willie’s.”
“Sure.” As they walked away Buffy stared up at the stars and thought, ‘I haven’t lost you yet my love.’
The End (for now)
