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C: caldera thru cyclotron radiation

New words are still being added so please don't tell me I've missed stuff out! I'm a student, I do have work to do beyond this!
The first definition of each term is the accepted, or most acceptable, explanation. This is followed by the interpretation according to the relatively new and exciting Goblin Theory that purports to explain the entire universe neatly and simply.

caldera

(a) A volcanic crater created by collapse or explosive eruption, usually having a diameter of greater than 2 km.
(b) A large depression in the ground due to the goblins not needing it any more. Some go quietly (collapse) but some fail to come to terms with this redundancy (explosive eruption).

calendar

(a) A practical way of organizing years, seasons, months and days.
(b) Although due to the goblins' wry sense of humour, this never works out exactly right. The invention of the extra day in February to combat this goblin insult still confuses many people.

California nebula

(a) A gaseous emission cloud in the constellation Perseus having the shape of the American state.
(b) Need we say this is no coincidence?

Callisto

Dark, watery moon of Jupiter, being the fourth of the Galilean satellites discovered in 1610.

Calypso

(a) Small satellite of Saturn.
(b) Production ground for water-ice lollies, coming in several flavours agreeable to the goblin palette. Any similarity to those sold on Earth is, this time, purely coincidental.

canals

(a) Observations by Secchi revealed linear features on the Martian surface. Lowell built an observatory specifically to study these, and made many drawings of extensive networks he attributed to intelligent life on Mars. Spacecraft missions have revealed these to be an optical illusion.
(b) The canals did in fact exist until the goblins realised too many Terrans were finding too much evidence in support of goblins. They then blew dust into all the canals to cover them up and the canals can no longer be seen. What the goblins used them for is currently the stuff of speculation.
Mail me your theories please! New input always welcome...

captured atmosphere

(a) Created by accretion while a planet is formed, and then retained.
(b) Created by little goblins lassoing the ickle molecules and tying them to the planet. This way they can design their own atmospheric composition.

Cassini Division

(a) A 2600 km gap in the rings of Saturn.
(b) Like the Vauxhall Conference. A collective name for the goblins that aren't actually very good at being goblins, and are thus condemned to wander the ring system litter picking.

cataclysmic variable

(a) An explosive event, particularly a nova or supernova, causes a sudden increase in a star's brightness.
(b) Goblins explode the interiors of stars occasionally. It gives them a buzz.

cD galaxy

(a) A giant elliptical with an extended halo of stars, a cD galaxy is often the centre of a cluster of galaxies.
(b) A galaxy full of CDs. And none of them Spice Girls. (Note: astronomers in their wisdom got the case lettering wrong.)

celestial equator

The projection onto the celestial sphere of the Earth's equatorial plane, separating northern and southern hemispheres, and representing zero degrees od declination.

celestial poles

The directions in space to which the Earth's axis of rotation point. The north celestial pole currently lies close to the pole star, Polaris, but this will change with time due to precession.

celestial sphere

(a) The sky can be considered to be on the inside of a hollow sphere, with the observer at the centre. We can thus determine the position of objects by an angular system and do not need to know distances.
(b) It actually is, but no-one's realised yet; the sky is a giant spherical blanket and the stars lie beyond through pinprick holes. That's how come the sky is dark at night, because the blanket is in the way of the infinite lines of sight that end on stars. They had it right all those years ago. Apart from the burning of heretics bit. That really wasn't very nice now, was it?

centre of mass

(a) The balancing point of an object of finite volume or a system of individual masses.
(b) Once again, goblins have no mass property so this definition does not exist for them.
See also barycentre.

Cepheid variable

(a) Stars of an unstable structure that pulsate in size, temperature and brightness over a timescale of days (the period). The brighter the star, the longer its period. They are used as distance indicators; we can work out the distance to one cepheid using an independent method. If we then find a cluster of stars containing a cepheid, we can assume them to be all at roughly the same distance. This leads to a constant factor relating the apparent and absolute magnitudes, hence knowing one distance we can measure the distances to all other cepheids by measuring their periods. I hope to make this a bit clearer when I get some diagrams up!
(b) "Don't switch the lights on, I think a transformer's bad." Flickering fluorescents.

Cerenkov radiation

(a) When charged particles move through a medium at speeds faster than that of light in that medium (but still less than the speed of light in a vacuum. Obviously), they create a shockwave causing the emission of electromagnetic radiation.
(b) Goblins ride on light beams to get them to places. Being all-powerful, they resent seeing something else going faster and become angry. Angry goblins emit electromagnetic radiation and what we are seeing here is the effect of the goblin equivalent of road rage.

Chandrasekhar limit

(a) The mass at which stars collapse further than the white dwarf stage, at greater than about 1.4 solar masses. When they exhaust their supply of fuel for fusion, they collapse further to create a neutron star or black hole.
(b) Stars of greater than 1.4 solar masses are big enough for lots and lots of goblins to sit on them. The weight of the goblins squashes the star past the white dwarf stage.

Charon

Only satellite of Pluto (which IS A PLANET despite what some people say), half the size of the planet, comprised of a rocky core and a water ice surface.

chromatic aberration

See aberration, chromatic.

chromosphere

(a) Hot, gaseous layer of the Sun above the photosphere which can be seen as a pinkish glow when the photosphere is obscured during a total solar eclipse. Yaaaaaaaaaaay hope everyone saw this year's and has been converted to be astrophysicists ahahahhahaha we will take over the world and then you'll be sorry Dave Evans the extreeeeeeme chemist (lol hugs xxx)!
(b) Purely for aesthetic reasons, the goblins like eclipses to put on a good show. If this involves a pinkish glow then so be it.

clock

(a) A device that can measure the passage of equal intervals of time. In the future quasars may be used as the most accurate clocks yet.
(b) An unnecessary human creation to accompany the invention of the deadline.

closed universe

(a) If there is enough matter in the universe, its mutual gravitational attraction will be enough to halt and reverse the expansion of the universe. We do not know if ours is a closed universe at present as we cannot necessarily see all the matter in it.
(b) The door is shut to keep out the draughts.

cluster of galaxies

(a) A group of galaxies in space - the Milky Way itself belongs to the Local Group - held together by their mutual gravitational attraction.
(b) Friendship groups of galaxies who get on well, or families with ickle baby galaxies.

collimation

(a) Making a parallel beam of light or particles.
(b) Fiddling around with mirrors and slits in the hope that you end up with a setup that looks like the one in the lab script and actually does what it's supposed to. This is very difficult and it is my personal belief that there is a whole team of goblins dedicated to ruining lab experiments. This also explains why physics demonstrations NEVER WORK. Ever. The laws of physics are suspended for this lesson etc. etc..

colour index

(a) The difference between the magnitudes of a star measured in two different wavelength bands. This quantity is quick and easy to measure and can tell us the spectral type of a large number of stars. Most commonly used is the B-V (blue - visual) colour index as it corresponds to the old photographic and visual magnitudes.
(b) The equivalent of a Dulux wall paint chart. You find the star colour, the goblins will match it.

coma

Meaning "hair", a thin envelope of dust and gas surrounding the nucleus of a comet. It can be up to a million kilometres across just after its closest approach to the Sun.

comet

(a) Comprised of a tiny nucleus of water ice, carbon dioxide, methane and ammonia with dust and rock embedded in it like a dirty snowball, and a coma created as the comet nears the Sun and begins to vaporise. Radiation pressure creates a broad, flat dust tail along the comet's orbit. Large dust particles may then form meteor streams. The solar wind, of charged particles streaming away from the Sun, creates a bluish ion tail which is directed straight away from the Sun. There's lots more about comets but it'll have to wait cuz I WANT MY DINNER.
(b) Yes they are snowballs. Thrown by goblins in long-forgotten fights, captured by the Sun and condemned to orbit forever.

conjunction

When two bodies appear to be in the same place as seen from Earth. In the Solar System we say a planet is at inferior conjunction if it comes between the Earth and the Sun or superior conjunction if it is behind the Sun as seen from Earth. The inner planets can have both alignments while the outer planets can only come to the latter.

continuous spectrum

Emitted by any body above absolute zero; the intensity of radiation changes gradually with wavelength. This may be crossed by absorption lines such as those found in the Sun's spectrum.

corona

(a) Outermost layers of the Sun, visible during a total solar eclipse as a white halo.
(b) Again, the presence of this layer provides the goblins with a pretty show.

cosmic microwave background

(a) The cooled echo of the Big Bang indicating that the Universe is at a temperature of 2.73 K. At this temperature the spectrum peaks in the microwave region. The distribution is not completely smooth; there are tiny variations in temperature throughout the universe.
(b) The cooled echo of microwaved goblin popcorn.

cosmic rays

(a) Particles with very high energies and velocities approaching the speed of light. They may be generated in solar flares, supernovae, and quasars (lowest to highest energy).
(b) Miniature goblin shooting galleries; they attempt to knock atoms apart by firing these high energy particle bullets.

cosmological principle

The universe is homogenous (matter is distributed evenly) and isotropic (looks the same in all directions) apart from local irregularities. All places in the universe are alike, no observer is in a position of preference, for example at the centre of the universe. Cosmology itself is the branch of astronomy concerned with the universe as a whole.

critical density

The density of matter that would bring the universe's expansion to a halt. This is ten times larger than the density we can calculate from visible matter.

cyclotron radiation

(a) Electromagnetic radiation created when electrons follow circular or spiralling paths in a magnetic field.
(b) Excited vibes emitted by goblins when they ride the electrons like the corkscrew at Alton Towers.

This page © Sparkli (that's me), 2000