B: Baade's window thru butterfly diagram
New words are still being added so please don't tell me I've missed stuff out! I'm a student, I do have work to do beyond this!
The first definition of each term is the accepted, or most acceptable, explanation. This is followed by the interpretation according to the relatively new and exciting Goblin Theory that purports to explain the entire universe neatly and simply.
- Baade's window
- (a) An area in the Galactic disc with little obscuring dust or gas, allowing us to see far away stars in the nucleus of the Galaxy.
(b) The curtains have been left open in the window of a goblin dwelling, allowing us to see what lies beyond. We see nothing of the lair as there is another window directly opposite from the angle we are viewing it.
- Baily's beads
- (a) The uneven surface of the Moon causes this phenomenon as it covers the surface of the Sun just before the totality phase of a solar eclipse. The Sun's light appears to form a string of beads along the Moon's limb.
(b) Is it just coincidence that the Moon appears exactly the same size in the sky as the Sun? No, the goblins are working towards ever more beautiful spectacles with which to amuse themselves. Baily's beads are a manifestation of this goblin-created wonder.
- Balmer lines
- (a) A series of spectral lines present in atomic hydrogen, due to the absorption and emission of energy at particular frequencies corresponding to the energy levels inside the atom.
(b) A series of spectral lines present in atomic hydrogen, due to the goblins feeding on these frequencies.
See also absorption spectrum.
- Barnard's star
- (a) Fast-moving star in the constellation Ophiuchus; "wobbles" in its motion have been attributed to two orbiting planets.
(b) Interstellar roundabout; its high velocity makes it an ideal candidate for slingshotting, and the goblins that regularly use this busy route account for the star's "wobbles".
- Barycentre
- (a) Centre of mass of a system of moving objects.
(b) It should be noted that this definition does not exist for goblins as they have no property we can call mass.
See also centre of mass..
- big bang
- (a) A widely accepted model for the beginning of the Universe, the Big Bang explains the expansion of the Universe and the cosmic microwave background radiation.
Basically it states that the Universe is cooling from a hot, dense explosion, and matter came from this first fireball of radiation.
(b) Term applied to the drummer of a goblin rock band, who inadvertently smashed too hard one day, breaking the skin and letting loose all the stuff inside. Since then the goblins have resolved to make the best of a bad situation.
See also big crunch.
- big crunch
- (a) The opposite of a big bang, which will occur if there is enough matter in the Universe to slow down and reverse its present expansion.
(b) The goblin drummer eating a packet of new! improved! Walker's Crisps.
- binary star
- (a) Accounting for around half the stars in the Galaxy, a binary consists of two stars in orbit around their common centre of gravity. The stars' mutual gravitational attraction may distort their shapes, and an accretion disc may form around a more massive star from its smaller companion.
(b) Some stars get lonely out in the celestial void, so the goblins create companions for them to spend the rest of their days with. We all get lonely sometimes - look at Geri Halliwell... arhgarg hag ragrhga.
- black body
- (a) An ideal object that absorbs perfectly radiation of all wavelengths incident on it. It also emits perfectly at all wavelengths. This can be approximated by cavity radiation and the Sun is an approximate black body.
(b) A goblin that is invisible against the background of empty space, and hence is responsible for much of the "dust obscuration" in the Galaxy.
- black hole
- (a) Formed when a star of greater than about 10 solar masses reaches the end of its lifespan, having fused as much matter as possible. The star collapses under its own gravity to a size determined by the Schwarzschild radius, at which point its gravity becomes so great that not even light can escape.
These objects are responsible for gravitational lensing effects and are also thought to be the explanation for some types of active galactic nuclei.
(b) Formed deliberately by goblins as a repository for all the socks you lose in the laundry.
- bolide
- (a) A very bright meteor, appearing with a loud bang - an explosion or a sonic boom.
(b) A time-travelling DeLorean.
- Bond albedo
- (a) Ratio of incident light to reflected light for a planet, usually smaller than its normal reflectivity.
(b) As opposed to the Bond libido which is usually larger. And Sean Connery was miles better than Pierce Brosnan.
- brightness
- The intensity of received radiation from an object, its apparent brightness, depends on its distance and its absolute brightness, measured in magnitudes. Magnitude is often taken to mean brightness however and with all the logarithms in there, it all gets horrendously complicated and you really don't want to know.
- butterfly diagram
- (a) A plot of solar latitude against time showing the appearance of sunspots.
(b) Rorschach tests for goblins.
This page © Sparkli (that's me), 2000
