Desiree Kern ©2000

INSIDE THE ODDS
with Jinnae the Geek

My predictions this week:
Kahless at 5:1
Palpatine at 4:1

...And a great silence fell across the fen as we came back from the cons, looked about the squallor of our apartments and basements with their putrifying heaps of laundry, wads of "past due" notices shoved in the door jams, and mummified corpses of pets forgotten as not to ruin the spontaniety of cross continent road runs....and we all knuckled down for a while and and did sore penace in the fields of the mundanes....
-from Secret Masters, Secret Halls: The Big Black Book.

rogue©1995
week of 5 Sep 2000 K5:1 P3:1
Man-In-The-Hall reporter "Raven" observed that the Klingon presence at the Chicago Worldcon was notably smaller than the hordes of previous years, though some Warriors were tasked with providing an Honor Guard for the venerable "Hugo" Awards Ceremony. Says DaHar Master Kragtowl epetai-Trekkan, leader of the Honor Guard:
"We really weren't a presence in the Masquerade this time, in fact, there was only one Klingon entry, and he was doing the Klingon version of SHAFT. It was quite a blow to our image, but we're a big Empire and we can live it down.... someday soon, I hope."

The 59th World Science Fiction Convention will be held in Philadelphia on Labor Day weekend 2001.

rogue ©2000
week of 29 Aug 2000 K6:1 P3:1
Labor Day...Alas, summer! World-con is in Chicago, but KAG Raiderboss Rogue is in Norfolk, having her annual "I'm too poor to go to Worldcon" weekend geek-in. Attendees participated in contests of cheapskate cunning such as: Best Costume for under $20 (receipts required); Sketch-a-thon and Refrigerator Art Show using the backs of last year's Far-Side rip off day calender and lots of magnets; a panel on urban camping and where the free meals are; and everyone's favorite college trick-- giving blood before drinking beer! "Wow," said con-goer Skippy, "I had no idea you could get this blotto on one beer! Why didn't anyone tell me about this before?" Bloodchits were collected and true to form, Rogue promptly forgot what she did with them.
The video room featured Trekkies (someone lost major points for recognizing a lot of people in the film AND knowing who sent the knobby rubber thing to the studio) and 12 hours of Mothra movies.

Dragon*Con is now one year away, making this weekend the "official" start of the blood drive. Dragoncon pre-reg is now $40 ($35 for group registration). Making hotel reservations now could save you a LOT of cash!

Desiree Kern ©2000
week of 22 Aug 2000 K7:1 P3:1
We came, we saw, we went to the zoo! Vice Admiral K'Han-den, leading KAG/ROFF (Ring of Fire Fleet: West Coast and Mountain West areas of US) was noted on giving a cool reception to the Blood Wars! challenge made by TK187 earlier this month. "We've already invited the 501 to our picnic, and I won't have my crew bending their bat'leths prying that white armor off your troops to get at their blood-- besides, TK123 promised to bring the cole slaw. We can't have a picnic without cole slaw and I'm not cancelling," said K'Han-den. "But after the fireworks, you're in for one Grethor of a fight!"

Read more about Stormtroopers from a Klingon perspective in the IKV Stranglehold's on-line newsletter, Totally Bij!

week of 15 August 2000 K8:1 P3:1
All quiet on the Klingon Front, but big news at the Moisture Farm Co-op! While the Farmers were holding their monthly meeting, members of the 501st Virgina Squad burst into the Co-op's underground meeting hall and arrested the whole lot on grounds of Illegal Gathering and Conspiracy against the New Order! The Farmers were marched off to the blood donation center, then off to garrison headquarters for a *fun* round of interrogations a free rides on everyone's favorite "E" ticket-- *the Chair*! Hats are off to Darth Inari, who endured questioning at *the Chair's* highest setting with a smile that would make womp rats spontaneously dress, truss, and baste themselves before jumping into the barbeque pit! You are one sick Sith Chick, Inari!

Ten out of ten Star Wars fans agree, there's just nothing as cool as being arrested by a 501 Stormtrooper!
Desiree Kern ©2000
week of 8 August 2000 (k5:1 p3:1)
Howls of outrage from the KAG Demonfleet this week, as Demon-kagsters protested their inability to donate blood due to their fondness of tattoos and body piercings, not to mention the infamous initiation rituals performed by all members. "My Emperor can beat up your Emperor," Captain Kerla was heard to shriek as she scrambled 17 ships to go out and capture some nice clean slaves, with strict orders NOT to tattoo 'property of the Demonfleet' across their nether regions until AFTER they'd been processed for blood donation at the nearest Red Cross chapter.

Meanwhile, Stormtroopers of the Fightin' 501 have stepped up their campaign of distributing free gift certificates to all visiting Klingons, good for 75% discounts at the Broken Blaster, a disreputable Rodian tattoo parlor in the cantina district of Mos Eisley.

week of 1 August 2000 (k3:1 p17:2)
TK187, Proud XO of the Fighting 501st "Vader's Fist" Legion of Stormtroopers issued an official challenge to the High Council of the Klingon Assault Group eariler this week. Challenge was strongly accepted by Admiral Kuuriis on behalf of KAG, who commended the Stormtroopers on their bravery but questioned their sanity. Ritual insults were exchanged. Emperor Kahless appears to be the early favorite, due to the heavily established organization of the on-line Klingon Fandom. The minions of Emperor Palpatine are rallying support in the Star Wars fandom community, though members of the Jedi Council and the Rebel Alliance are balking at the gate, protesting "Why should we do anything for that Palpatine bastard, eh?" Much to all contest predictors' surprise, the humble Moisture Farmers of Richmond, Virginia, appear to have drawn 'first blood.'

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