Amanda Bynes NOW!: Weekly Column 9/11/2003

SEPTEMBER 11, 2003

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last / this / next

LAST: Season premiere day. And our new host is coming soon. Thank God our long national nightmare is over.
I really don't want to make a big deal about this, but after shunning all promotional work for "What a Girl Wants", Colin Firth showed up at the Toronto Film Festival this past weekend to promote two new films of his, "Love Actually" and "Girl with a Pearl Earring".

THIS: That Teen Vogue issue was an absolute farce. Again Evan Rachel Wood was exalted to a seat of power. Apparently critics like dark, moody, real teens who mutilate and pierce themselves. And critics appreciate the voyeuristic attitude of that film. I sure don't. The only other "teen" actresses in the whole piece were the Olsens. And way too much attention to Alison Lohman, now in talks to replace Amanda Bynes in "Big Fat Liar 2".
And I still haven't gotten an acceptable official answer on why Amanda was bumped from the Ellen Degeneres show. The stupid mags were all over the premiere because Jen ("Hear that? It's my biological clock") Aniston was on it. And when Amanda does make it there, nobody will care except us. Isn't that always the way?

NEXT: I am not looking forward to doing this week's web work, especially if I get crappy overnights tomorrow. Berman will be all over it, probably saying "The reaper has come for the Tyler sisters!" after fully supporting the show all last year. Then he'll lead us all in a singalong of "The Addams Family" theme song. Hey, Berman, I got RECORDS of "The Addams Family" theme song. When I want to hear it, I'll play it. You, you're just talking up bandwidth.

"Soon" isn't soon enough for us to love her!

"I Love You...Soon"
Written by Caryn Lucas
and Wil Calhoun
Directed by Shelley Jensen

This Insta-Review was published shortly after the East Coast airing of the episode in the US. If you don't want to know what happens in the episode, click here to advance to the next article in the Column.

We Love Her...Now
Amanda Opens Season Two with a Case of the Blurts...But When We Say It, We Mean It!
A short three months ago, we closed out Season One of "What I Like About You" with one of Amanda Bynes' standout comic performances, "The Talk", where Henry affirms his love for Holly with his first kiss. Now, as we have reached the start of Season Two, Holly's trying hard to come to terms with the fact that she may not love Henry in "I Love You...Soon", written by series co-creator Wil Calhoun and Caryn Lucas (whose stature in the WILAY hierarchy has grown effective this season). With two new cast members introduced this year, two more bumped to regular status, and one more to come two weeks from now, it might be hard for some cast members to keep from getting lost in the shuffle. You know Amanda Bynes will do all she can to keep that from happening. She delivered a solid, funny and sweet performance tonight as Holly, now doubting her accidentally-found love for Henry after meeting her new work friend Vince.
As much as Holly's life will change from the introduction of Vince into the picture, it pales in comparison to the changes in Val's life. Tonight the temptation comes in the form of her new boss, Peter (Stephen Dunham), who replaces the departed Vic. Tonight's episode in fact opens

with a summertime catchup on Vic and how much those Harper and Diggs women miss him since he left the firm. Peter exceeds everyone's expectations and Holly, Valerie and Lauren waste no time in fawning over the new boss. As they're helping to set up his new office, Peter marvels over the size of his office, and Valerie marvels over Peter. However gallant and hunky Peter is, though, Val still has that code that she should never ever date coworkers. Peter even goes as far as to ask her to dinner, but he says it's merely a "thank you" dinner and it isn't a date unless they kiss. Holly works Val over when they meet back at their apartment, and Val decides with some trepidation to accept Peter's dinner invite.
     The remaining cast members are used in the other part of the tale. Holly has worked up a casual friendship with a bike messenger who's been serving the H&D building, the hunky Vince (Nick Zano). When Gary and Henry come around to take Holly to a joint dinner at the Liberty Diner, Holly insists Nick be invited too, to keep their group dynamic strong. Gary sees that Henry is too approving of Vince's company, and pulls him aside. Henry explains he's only trying to mask his jealousy over Holly and Vince, even though there's nothing overtly romantic going on. After Henry eventually admits he is jealous of Vince, Holly tries to build his confidence. "Who called you every night before I went to bed?" Holly plaintively asks. She answers her own question, "I did, Henry! I love you!" And before she can realize it, she's said the three little words, which open a floodgate of "I Love You"s from Henry. But Holly has to admit to Henry she didn't mean what she said, because she doesn't really believe it yet.
     After Val comes home from a hellish dinner date where she meets a married woman whom Peter helped out with her marital problems ("Guess that makes me a marriage counselor", crows Peter), she and Holly pertly add up the night's doings in what will look to be the highlight of the season -- interaction and byplay between the sisters.
     Style-wise, the series looks to break Amanda Bynes away from the type of pants/top setups she wore throughout most of Season Two as flirtier, more revealing outfits rule the day. Jennie Garth and Leslie Grossman have gotten stylish new wardrobes and makeovers as well. There is no shortage of eye candy on this show (with more on the way in two weeks), and these girls need to dress to kill. And in the editorial department, Season One writers/producers Warren Bell, Sarah McLaughlin, Hayes Jackson and Stacy Traub have departed, and Amy Engelberg, Wendy Engelberg, and Rosalind Moore have joined as consulting producers. Jeff Bushell joins Lesley Wake as executive story editors, and writers Kirker Butler and Steven Molaro are now story editors.
     Season Two also has a funkier look, with a new set of intro cues by Philip Steir, who has also provided a new remix of the "WILAY" theme recorded by Lillix. The opening sequence is sassy and cute and features all eight cast members at their absolute best, cavorting around taxis and dancing to the theme music. Stock exterior shots such as of the apartment building representing 34C have been replaced by diorama-type bumpers featuring New York City streets.
     Michael McMillian seems to be giving Henry a different reading this year than last, as the halting and unsure Henry has been quieted and a more self-assured version in its place. Jennie Garth and Leslie Grossman will change more in the next few weeks, so we'll reserve judgment (Garth looked especially cute tonight). Wesley Jonathan still strikes the right chords as not just Holly's best friend, but in time everyone's. And Amanda Bynes continues to shade Holly with doubt and reservations, as the writers continue to paint her as a growing girl who can make her own decisions, as was shown in tonight's episode. Would that more critics would catch her performance and see that this little old sitcom has grown up...if this show goes on a few more years, she could mean as much to this network as those "Friends" do to NBC.
     Next week will bring large-scale changes to Valerie's future as she and Lauren quit Harper and Diggs after seeing Peter's brash and sexist work ethic.

HD-TV?
Might Hilary Duff Squeeze Amanda Out of the Frog's Family Portrait?
On September 25, less than two weeks from today, we may get a clearer picture of just who matters at the WB. Hilary Duff gets her first showcase presentation on the network as "Hilary Duff's Island Birthday Bash" premieres. We have learned that Hilary will surf and snorkel in the special, and that Aaron Carter will be there presenting Hilary with her cake. But aren't they no longer a couple? Yeesh.
     What the WB is doing with Miss Duff is quite similar to what Fox did a number of years ago with a fledgling singer named Britney Spears. They put the actress in lush tropical settings, made her sing, shot footage of her communing with nature, aired it, and saw the singer's career skyrocket. The WB is hoping the same thing will happen with Hilary, because they are very conscientiously eying the soon-to-be-sixteen-year-old for permanent active duty on the Frog. But for this to occur, someone has to leave. That world we envisioned a few weeks back about Amanda and Hilary peacefully coexisting? What the hell were we thinking? Amanda Bynes' career is in serious jeopardy now and Hilary Duff is the reason why.
     With nothing officially announced about a Hilary Duff sitcom, we can't look for it until at least next fall. Truth is, a show will need to underperform season-long in order for Hilary to have a shot, as the failures of "Family Affair". "Do Over" and "Greetings from Tucson" paved the way for new sitcom opportunities for Anthony Anderson and Holly Robinson Peete. Our main worry is that, with the odds stacked against it beginning tonight, "What I Like About You" is going to have to do obscenely good numbers -- not just demos -- in order for us to even begin contemplating Season Three.
     We got our first taste of what the Friday numbers will look like this week, and this past week's repeat of "Reba" drew the highest time slot numbers of the season -- and remember, it's occupying "What I Like About You"'s old time slots. And the season premiere of "Grounded for Life" also shot past expectations as the series looks to be firmly grounded on Fridays for some time to come. The numbers will likely make any Thursday results look puny by comparison -- and puny they were, with the "WILAY" 9PM repeat drawing only a 1.3, the worst numbers in all of primetime TV.
     But the promotion for the WILAY season premiere has been acceptable, and we hope people tuned in tonight. Killing the show over three to five weeks of lower ratings in the face of the triple threat of "The O.C.", "Will and Grace" and "CSI" doesn't make sense, and only makes the WB look really stupid. Moreover, it makes the WB look like it wasn't their intention to carry WILAY over to a second season in the first place. (Think about what's waiting in the wings...another warm, fuzzy Aaron Spelling family drama starring Lori Loughlin, the Adam Sandler "Mayor" sitcom, and two reality show holdovers from last year.)
     And if the numbers for Hilary Duff's TV birthday party are any good, then we can fully expect to hear how Hilary will be the new "face of the WB" -- a position Amanda Bynes was in roughly two years ago -- with a sitcom in development and possibly more specials. We can only hope Jordan Levin and the WB remain committed to Amanda as her TV series gets tested by TV's highest rated shows. CBS has now pacted for "CSI" for two additional seasons beyond this one. "Will and Grace" seems to have a lease on life. They're not going anywhere soon, and for that reason "WILAY" might. We can further hope that the WB takes to heart something we commented on back in May of 2002...if you let Amanda go, some other network will snap her up and use her against you. Amanda on a network other than the WB...well, that's not very good for the WB, is it?
     (Three more Hilary Duff World Supremacy notes...her album is now #1 on the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart for the issue of September 20. She begins a 20-city small-venue concert tour in late November. And she's the latest to do a "Got milk?" ad...something Amanda should have done at least a year or two ago.)

Like a Rolling Stone? No, Thanks
Bynes Slams and Spears' Hams Take Center Stage In "Not" Issue
Once again, Rolling Stone magazine has ignored Amanda Bynes. But when you think about what the magazine is and what it does, that may be a good thing.
     A string of three consecutive issues has seen Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen on the cover and Hilary Duff profiled, and recently added to this string is the "Hot" issue. You can't miss it...it's got Britney Spears in varying stages of undress throughout. Britney, who seems to be getting more irresponsible every passing minute, is pulling the same thing Madonna usually does...being invisible for a few months, and then exploding all over the place...the VMAs, the NFL Kickoff concert in Washington, the "Monday Night Football" opening with Bocephus himself, Hank Williams Jr. and now the Rolling Stone cover. She probably took it very hard she wasn't on the list of the Top 100 earners in Forbes, so she's making up for all that lost time now.
     Personally, the incestuous love quadrangle she's in with Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz gives one pause that there might be something more to it than he used to go out with her and she used to go out with him. It's quantum times more disgusting than what Demi Moore is doing with guys younger than her kids. And RS eats it up, and gives it as an excuse to turn the raunch knob way past 11. The same magazine that, 20 years ago, gave Bon Jovi's devoted five-year-old fans some new vocabulary words during an interview with Mr. Bongiovi.
     RS's DVD reviewer recently didn't help the cause any in a three-star review for the DVD of "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" when he told Amanda Bynes to "step off". In a year when three "manufactured" American Idols have graced their cover, it seems a bitter and hurtful thing to say to someone who's had to work for every ounce of success.
     Actresses in general are ignored on the hot list, with only one exception: Scarlett Johansson, the Drano-voiced star of "Girl with a Pearl Earring" who will be feted next month at Carlos de Abreu's Hollywood Film Festival. Used to be nearly every actress made this list, but it all seems to have lost meaning now. But don't you feel better that they've told us that VH1 Classic is the new crack?
     Rolling Stone was once a proud chronicler of the rock and roll scene, but in recent years it's become more fluffy and lightweight, eschewing rock stories for profiles of movie stars and teen idols. And they don't really write about rock acts until they're dead -- just watch in two weeks for their big Warren Zevon sendoff. Maybe this is why it's better Amanda's not in Rolling Stone, when you consider the lurid nature of many of their hard news stories and the abandon with which Britney and Christina's personal lives are chronicled. During interviews about the time of the Video Music Awards, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen hinted that they didn't really appreciate being dubbed "America's Favorite Fantasy" on their cover story. You wonder then what RS is going to write in a cover story about Amanda...that is, of course, if they ever start liking her.

Next Week: "X"-Rated!
Amanda rates enough to draw guest duty on "The Jamie Kennedy Experiment", for certain. That's immediately followed by "Boys' Club", a new episode of "WILAY". We eXpect your company eXactly seven days from now right here!

-- Robair (webmaster, Amanda Bynes NOW!.com)