Ian du Toit the co-founder of CHILDS ~ Children In Legal Disputes
died on the 26th October 2004.
We, the Board and members of CHILDS honour and remember Ian and
his vision that children have the right to an ongoing relationship
with both parents after one or both of them choose to end the
relationship. Ian and his children, Adam and Victoria, did not
enjoy that privilege in spite of his relentless efforts to be
part of their lives.
Ian, like many other parents in South Africa and across the globe,
did not have access to his children, was not informed when they
were ill, in hospital, had to undergo surgery, received an accolade,
met a first boyfriend or girlfriend, did poorly at school, or
was just not okay and needed a hug from dad. Ian could not attend
gala evenings, attend rugby and hockey matches and do the daily
caring things parents do for their children as they lived outside
the borders of South Africa. Living far away from each other without
a proper court order in place was one of the reasons he and his
children were successfully alienated.
Ian spoke out against a system that allowed the form of alienation
he and his children was subjected to. He put thinking, time effort
and his personal resources, at times limited, into our organisation
to help fight the wrongs that allows often long lasting damage
to come to the lives of families.
There were times that Ian was ready to give up and just walk
away but those were short-lived moments. He always encouraged
every one at CHILDS in spite of his own pain at times visible,
saying the children are the real victims. They are the victims
of the circumstances they do not understand ~ circumstances created
by the parents.
At CHILDS we know that the system we live in allows the pain
and suffering Ian, Adam and Victoria, and to a sure degree the
mother of the children and her husband must have suffered ~ no
matter who was mostly at fault in the alienation process.
We salute Ian, a warrior in the fight against the abuse perpetrated
against families at the time of separation and divorce. We honour
him for his efforts to change legislation, to influence the thinking
of the judiciary and the mental health worker, the aid the volunteer
worker, to support the mothers and fathers separated from their
children and to empower children separated from their parents
to speak up for themselves.
We at CHILDS will continue the work you
were the architect of.
(See also: Parental
Alienation Syndrome -- South Africa )
