S.O.W.R.Y = Son's Own Wealth Released to You
D.O.W.R.Y = Daughter's Own Wealth Released to You
There is a new evil in Society. This is the SOWRY harassment of husbands
and their families. This is a new feature of Indian society. The genesis
of this harassment can be traced to the birth and spread of NRIs (Newly
Rich Indians) around the Globe, with their money. The method of SOWRY
Harassment is linked to the Matrimonial courts, which are geared more
towards “teaching husbands a lesson “.
The NRIs, with their money and their peculiar position of having to
leave to work, in the USA, Europe or wherever, were the first to feel
the heat. These NRIs were educated and the thought of violence was anathema
to them, and one encounter with a Police station was enough . Poor guys
-- they were threatened with loss of livelihood, prestige and so were
forced to make a lifetime settlement -- Rs 25 Lakhs, Rs 30 Lakhs etc.
Women's organisations readily admit that there is some abuse. Of course,
when a women's organisation admits there is some abuse, then there is
lots of abuse.
This 25 lakhs and 30 lakshs of settlement was enough for others to
follow suit. This spurted in around 1996 and by 2001 every woman was
on their bargain for getting easy money out of a poor sod who did not
know what hit him. After all, filing a 498A is as easy as ordering an
Idly Sambhar. Actually, it is easier -- the proprietor could refuse
to give you an idly sambhar, but the police cannot refuse.
The pattern of behaviour is very simple. The girl would force him,
belittle him continuously, harass him, and keep saying you are “harassing
me”. “Harassing me”. Keep provoking the guy and his
family, till at some point in time the guy and his family decide to
speak up, and hey presto your wife becomes a 498A girl. Every family
personally knows of men who have been harassed for Sowry .But very few
people know of women being harassed for Dowry . Strange ! How come the
media sees things differently from what is around me ? This is because
of "consciousness-raising" – i.e. propaganda. No matter
how gentle the guy is. it is important to force a 498A and ask for settlement.
Marriage should not be a regime whereby, for no work on your part, you
maintain your “lifestyle”. But through 498A that is what
it has become .
Police commissioners and the judiciary have clearly recognized that
there is large-scale abuse of the 498A law, and that it is being used
for SOWRY harassment. Hats off to them -- they are the first ones to
recognize the abuse, seeing that they do not have the power that an
idly Sambhar vendor has to refuse to take part in SOWRY harassment
“Oh, but men are not driven to death ! “ Really, the most
ignored fact is that men’s sucicide rate goes up by 50% after
marriage, while it remains the same for women. Who is harassed more,
then ? Where are our tears when men are driven to suicide by women and
they are classified as death due to financial problems ? What are these
financial problems, if not SOWRY harassment ? One dowry death every
102 minutes and one Sowry death every 30 minutes, but no protection
for SOWRY victims .
“Girls are independent and will not just put up with things,
and hence now they are using 498A”. Where was their independence
and tolerance if they tolerated levels of harassment to 498a levels,
before filing for divorce ? Why do I see a 498A being filed before divorce
? That is because a 498A is a weapon of divorce and an instrument of
SOWRY harassment.
SOWRY harassment is defined as any demand for money, property or lifestyle
which interferes with one's peaceful existence or lifestyle .
Unfortunately this "independence" has brought in more SOWRY
harassment and more demands for money from the guys. Why couldn’t
the divorce and separation be: ”I don’t like living with
you . I go my way, you go your way, you live the lifestyle to which
you are entitled, and I live the lifestyle to which I am entitled. I
am thankfull for the lifestyle you gave me while you were with me “
It is always Money Money Money. I want all your money and more . I
will not give you anything back in return. Neither will I allow a child
to visit you. Neither will I provide a weekly amount of sex, or whatever
I used to give. Because in marriage only a man is supposed to give .
A woman is not supposed to give anything.
