At six am on Wednesday October 22 2003
I dragged myself from a warm bed and stood shivering, bleary eyed in
the cold bedroom. I had managed to snatch two and a half hours sleep
and had to get ready to appear on the television program, “The
Wright Stuff” on Britain's Channel 5. The subject under discussion
would be, “Domestic Violence.” I would be there to give
the male victims point of view but I held out little hope of getting
a fair and just hearing. I anticipated that I would be surrounded by
women loudly proclaiming that women suffer terribly and failing to mention
men going through the same things.
I fought my way across London on it's appalling public transport system
crammed, with thousands of others like cattle into too few carriages
on the underground system during the rush hour. A train derailment meant
that I could only go part of the way by the underground railway and
had to finish the rest of the journey by bus.
I arrived stressed and even more tired and managed to snatch a cup
of coffee before going into the studio. When the live program began
Matthew Wright, the presenter, introduced it as a program looking at
racism in the police and “wife beating.” So ingrained is
this language into the consciousness of media presenters like Matthew
that he had spoken the words “wife beaters” without considering
the injustice and biased content of the language. To his credit he corrected
himself later but it was obvious that he was struggling to maintain
unfamiliar thinking on the subject. Such is the power of brainwashing.
The first person to be interviewed was an American woman who is high
in the ranks of “Refuge.” This is a British organisation
that oversees the running of battered women refuges in this country.
She talked about her work and gave misleading information on the amount
of female victims etc. Then a film produced by Refuge and shown in British
cinemas everywhere was broadcast. Naturally, this film depicts a man
beating a women while all the people around them ignore what is going
on. At no time did the film mention male victims or show a female being
violent. As anyone who knows about these things will tell you, when
the media or an organisation shows only one side of any argument it
is known as propaganda. As I watched these events unfolding in the studio
yet again, I became determined to point this out to the viewing public
so that they could make their own minds up about what they had just
seen.
When my turn came to speak I managed to say to the folks watching
at home that the methods being employed by organisations like Refuge,
and Women's Aid, are dangerous because they brainwash the public into
thinking that all abusers are male and all victims are female. The show
ended with the ubiquitous female victim talking about her tragic abuse
and her work now with Women's Aid.
I chatted with Matthew Wright and Dominic Diamond after the show. I
pleaded with them to help us get a program made detailing the male victims
point of view. I also tackled the female editor of “The Sun”
newspaper who was also a guest on the program, about her papers biased
point of view on this issue and was forced to listen to her telling
me that it was our (men's) fault the media is biased. No change there
then!
Fearing that the show was yet another dead loss for male victims I
left feeling very downhearted. However, I was cheered up in the lobby
of the studio when a small group of people from the audience approached
me to say that they thought male victims were being discriminated against
and that they also thought the tactics of the press and Refuge are brainwashing.
They encouraged me to continue the fight and promised their support
for my efforts in the future. I left the studio feeling that the British
people are far more intelligent than Refuge and the press give them
credit for and headed off to join a huge demonstration about fathers
rights.
The demonstration was scheduled to start from London's Trafalgar Square
at 12 noon. I arrived at the venue at 11 am and walked around the crowd
greeting old friends and making new ones. I was astonished to see many
small children, couples and grandparents gathering to march through
London in protest at the draconian and unfair law that is, The Family
Law Act. The day was cold and overcast and at first glance it appeared
that few people had actually turned up for the march. My heart sank
and dark thoughts about peoples apathy began encroaching into my mind.
At midday we began to organise into ranks and the march began. Within
minutes we were joined by hundreds more people of all ages. Banners
and purple flags waved in the brisk cold breeze. Sticky labels were
passed out to the onlooking public and thousands of leaflets were distributed
explaining the reasons for the march. Sad but determined men marched
with photographs of the children they can no longer see pinned to their
coats or stuck to banners. Old people carried posters mourning the loss
of contact with grand children. Music blared from an open topped bus
and men and women with megaphones began chants that the crowd took up.
The volume rose dramatically.
At the head of this slow moving convoy a huge military tank thundered
along followed by men dressed from the waist up in military uniforms
complete with helmets and from the waist down in kilts. Just behind
them marched a group of men dressed in all white chemical protection
suits proclaiming they where here to clean up family law. As the crowd
marching continued to grow, moral soared and the cold weather was ignored
by the marchers. The atmosphere of the march was jovial and light hearted.
Huge numbers of police marched alongside us or sat in police vans, cars
and on motorbikes along the route. In the sky I saw a police helicopter
hovering high above us.
As the march snaked it's way through the crowded London streets business
people, shop keepers, passing motorists and pedestrians shouted and
waved their support or blew the horns on the vehicles. The message was
clear: The British people support the men's movements efforts to gain
equal access to children by both parents.
In due course, the march reached the Royal Courts of Justice. Here
the tank and bus paused and the marchers halted. Then came the huge
surprise. Dressed as Batman and Robin two men stood in the cathedral
like roof of the High Court above a huge banner demanding justice for
fathers in family law. The huge crowd of marchers saluted the two brave
protesters who had scaled the building the night before and a vast roar
of support went up to them as they looked down upon a sea of uplifted
arms. I had to fight back the tears that filled my eyes as the march
slowly moved past that incredible scene. I realised then that determined
men can achieve anything they want and no petty political system can
ever usurp the will of the people and remain in power.
My tears were soon wrung from my tired heart however as a cute little
boy pressed a leaflet into my hands. I looked down and thanked him and
then began to read what he had given me. The tears flowed down my cheeks
as I read this powerful plea from a child.
“My name is Dries,
I feel sad.
I love my sister Florence and I really want her to come back.
Because she is beautiful
and I miss her so much.
It's her birthday today
and I don't see her.
I love her and hope she has a happy birthday.”
How can we ignore such a moving account of one little boys pain suffered
because of the heartlessness of politicians driven by an ideological
hatred of men and fathers?
The march moved on. We approached the offices of the CSA, CAFCASS and
the home of the British legal establishment known as Lincoln's Inn Fields.
Whistles blew, air horns split the air and chants of “Shame on
you!” rose above a field of pointing fingers. Those who worked
within these buildings looked out of windows upon the roaring and angry
crowd. Their faces betraying their embarrassment at the accusing tide
beneath them. All of these organisations have been responsible for destroying
the lives of countless fathers and children in the UK. The accompanying
police looked tense and uneasy but they need not have worried. This
was controlled fury and not the actions of a mindless mob.
As the march approached Lincoln's Inn Fields the clouds burst their
heavy burden of rain and we all got soaked. The march never faltered.
Jackets and water proofs were donned, collars pulled up and voices raised
in songs and chanting. “All we are say -- ing..... Is give dads
a chance.”
The long column began it's homeward journey to end where it symbolically
began at the Royal Courts of Justice, the symbolic and actual home of
so much official abuse of men and fathers. A place where judges refuse
any appeal from a father if it goes against “policy” irrespective
of the legal or moral merits of the case. A place where judges have
threatened children that if they refuse to leave daddy they will be
placed in children's homes. A place where senior judges have refused
to discipline the excesses of their lower court colleagues and in so
doing have given support to those extremes. A place of misery for children
and fathers from all four corners of the nation.
As the column came to a stop once more Matthew O` Connor, the brilliant
organiser, campaigner and founder of fathers 4 Justice (http://www.fathers4justice.org)
stood atop of the open bus and gave a short speech. As he spoke the
crowd once again saluted the two brave men who had scaled the heights
of The Royal Courts of Justice building. During his speech Matt explained
why these two men were dressed as Batman and Robin... “because
to a child, every father is a super hero.” The accompanying roar
must have been felt in the bottom of every single judges deep black
heart as they hid themselves within that vast building. It is to be
hoped they trembled in fear because the message from this rally is a
simple and direct one:
FATHERS ARE FIGHTING BACK AND THEY WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!
No more silence!
