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A Place Called Home

by Sharim

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Disclaimer in Part One

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for my friends and my betas

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~Eleven~

~*~

"Ernest!" O'Neill is yelling in the man's ear, his hands on the bony shoulders furiously shaking the man in frustration. "Come on! I need you to work with me now!" He demands.

"Trees." Ernest whimpers, and the keening of the world around is us so immense that I almost do not hear the frail word as it is gleefully whipped away by the wind.

"Trees? How the hell's that gonna help us." O'Neill releases Ernest in a jerky movement and runs his hands through his hair - to no avail. The wind and rain are still building in power and the lightening chases itself across the sky.

"The big trees!" Dr.Langford looks up, hope in her eyes. She turns away from Captain Carter for the first time since we have arrived at this rock outcrop and found her there.

"The ones on the hill, back through the forest." She jerks her head backwards in a direction towards the forest.

I am aware of these trees she is talking about. Their roots are nearly big enough to seem like caves, their trunks larger than any I have ever seen in my lifetime.

"We're gonna have to go through the forest." O'Neill huddles closer as another forceful shower of raindrops heaves down on us. "I don't think we should risk it, not with this lightening and wind."

"So what, we're just going to stay here?" Dr. Langford demands.

"We've got shelter, Catherine." O'Neill starts out.

Dr. Langford snorts slightly and looks at him. "*This* is shelter?"

"You weren't in the forest when it started, Catherine. I was...and this storm is just getting worse and worse. These rocks are shelter and they'll do just fine until the first break." O'Neill states firmly, wincing as another gust of wind buffets us and slams his body into the rockface.

"What about Sam?" Dr. Langford persists. I can see the worry and confusion illuminated on O'Neill's face as he gazes towards the smudged darkness in the cracks of the rock where Captain Carter is still hiding. O'Neill insists and swears that when he left, Captain Carter was fine. I believe him. I have seen him developing a 'soft spot' for her during the time we were together as SG-1, and more so now that it is just the five of us stranded on this strange, and unwelcome planet.

There is silence for a while, as every suffers the cold in silence. As a Jaffa, I am not as vulnerable to the cold as my companions, yet even I feel the iciness of the wind as it sends frozen droplets of water against us, stinging us with its wrath.

"Ernest, how long is this going to last for?" O'Neill demands after a vicious gust of wind vented it's fury against us. Sheltered between these rocks we have some reprieve, it is not as easy for the rocks to reach us, but the rain still lashes down constantly.

"Long time." Ernest barely answers, but he is sitting by me and I heard him.

"Ernest." O'Neill did not hear him.

"He says a long time, O'Neill." I frown. To me, it seems as though the winds have been lessening slightly and the rain not coming down as heavily as before. "However, I do believe that he is incorrect."

"Why so?" O'Neill asks me, not moving.

"I do believe the wind is dying down again, O'Neill."

"About damn time." He snaps. "We've been stuck here for nearly two hours."

"That's a relatively short hurricane then." Dr. Langford speaks up.

"It's not finished yet." Ernest shakes his head. "There's are more storms, lots more."

"How many's lots?" O'Neill demands warily.

"Three or Five more. There is always an even number." Ernest speaks up, his confidence growing once again now that the storms have diminished.

"The eye." Dr. Langford realises as the rain starts to slow down dramatically.

"The eye?" O'Neill raises an eyebrow, I can see that now that the sky is lightening and the moons are already coming out from beneath the clowds.

"Of the storm." Dr. Langford nods. "There are only two or three hurricanes that strike, but each of them has two halves. Makes it seem like a lot of storms..."

"One is plenty enough for me." O'Neill points up, raising his head warily. "Oh my..." He stiffens in surprise.

"What?" Dr. Langford also stands up. "Oh..."

"We'd better go. Now." O'Neill states as I stand up.

The ocean has risen nearly all the way up the beach, the waters are already close enough to spray angrily over the rocks we use for shelter. The cave where we had been living for the past days is completely underwater, only the rockface in which it was embedded still climbing resentfully out of the broiling waters.

"Teal'c, you grab a pack..." O'Neill shoulders the other pack.

"What about Sam?" Dr. Langford demands and I can see the worry by the glow of the moons which now shine brightly in skys that are completely clear and deceptively peaceful.

"I'll get her." O'Neill crouches down in front of the rocks, peering into the darkness. "Carter?" He speaks gently, as if to a scared child. She refuses to answer him. I have never seen her like this, never. "Carter, we've got to go." O'Neill tries again. He has patience, but this is no time for patience. "Sam, please, you have to." He tries again, reaching into the rock face.

"I'll slow you down." Captain Carter whispers, and I can see the confusion on O'Neill's face.

"What? No you won't. If anyone slows us down it'll either be Catherine or Ernest." He says confidently, shooting Dr. Langford and apologetic look which she accepts with a grimace.

"My arm..." Captain Carter's voice is so soft that I can not hear the rest. Dr. Langford is also straining to hear, but I do not believe it is our place to listen. I gently reach over and move her away from O'Neill and Captain Carter, and she looks at me with understanding and sorrow in her eyes. Where we stand we can hear the low rumbling of O'Neill's voice, and that is all. After a time we can hear relief on his voice as well, and then he stands up, extending his hand out to assist Captain Carter. She appears smoothly from her hiding place, but she is vulnerable. She hugs herself tightly and shakes as she waits for her next orders, her head hanging down and her eyes refusing to look up and meet the rest of ours.

"It's okay, Sam." O'Neill says before gathering her in his arms for a hug. He holds her for a while, comforting her before letting her go. "Okay, we're all going to hold hands so we don't lose each other in case the storm arrives again. "Teal'c, you take our six. Hold on to Catherine's hand. Catherine, you to Ernest with your other one, and Carter can take my one."

At first I do not understand why Captain Carter is being given the lead, but then, once we take hands and begin our trek, I realise O'Neill has not given her the lead because she walks next to him, slightly behind him. He has merely been sensitive to her damaged arm, knowing that she could not hold onto anyone with the mangled limb. And he wishes to keep her close. I do not know why, but I can see that he feels a new emotion for her, a protectiveness that was not there a few hours ago.

~*~

My legs are so tired and cramped I think they're going to fall of. Through the foliage around us, a grey light is starting to appear. Dawn. That means that the next cycle of the storm isn't far off, its been longer than I thought it would be at any rate.

"Here we are." Jack announces and stops. I nearly start crying with relief. The air is so cold, colder than I can ever remember anything. All I want to do is find a relatively dry spot and just huddle close to Sam for warmth.

I stand uselessly while Jack and Teal'c make a hurried exploration of a few root-caves around us. While they are searching for suitable shelters, they are also conducting a conversation. Bits of it float towards me, but it's about survival and what the best options would be.

I shuffle on my foot, and realise with dismay that my hand is still clutching Ernest's. I want to pull it out, to let go of this man that I love and hate at the same time. But I can't. He seems unaware that he's still holding my hand, and I can't find it in myself to be the one to break the simple contact.

"It'll be okay, Catherine. Jack and Teal'c will take care of us." He whispers, his voice blending in with the leaves. I feel the familiar stab of resentment, of anger at his imaginary Catherine, but then I feel his eyes on me. Catherine. He called *me* Catherine. He was *talking* to me. My eyes start to sting as the long suppressed tears of exhaustion and fear creep to the surface.

"Okay campers, here's the plan..." Jack tears my attention away from Ernest, and almost mutually we release hands, letting each limb float down slowly and reluctantly to our sides where they get clenched and unclenched in time to Jack's words.

"We can't find one big enough in time for us to be able to set up both tents before the storm breaks..." He starts off before glancing towards Sam and resting his hand on her shoulder. She leans into his hold ever so slightly and I can see a bit of her apprehension and fear fading.

I should be jealous that she never *talks* to me about anything, that I confided in her about Ernest...but I don't. I can understand that, she's not a very confiding type of person. Neither is Jack or Teal'c for the matter, and Ernest has changed so much...but I'm relieved that she seems to be trusting Jack that little bit more than she allows herself to trust us. What I do know about Sam isn't much other than mundane, useless little bits of trivia like her favourite colour is blue, she hates heels and has a cat called Schroedinger. If she's allowing herself to trust someone then I'm happy she's chosen Jack. The two of them would be good for each other.

"...any problems with that?" Jack asks. I freeze, guilt and stupidity crashing over me like a fresh tidal wave of wind and rain from a brand new storm. I missed everything he said. I feel like a kid in school...and I'm a 50+ woman (we are not going into details where age is concerned!) "Catherine?"

"Uh...no?" I try, hoping desperately against hope that I don't giggle. A feeling of lightness descends over me. We'll be okay. As long as we can all laugh about mistakes, enjoy each other's company and survive, we'll be okay. I know it looks like a large, daunting list...but isn't that what we've been doing so far? Surviving?

We're going to make it. I don't whether we'll be rescued or not, but we're going to survive and live *happily* here, because *that* is what surviving is all about.

~*~

Teal'c, Catherine and Ernest have taken the one pack - Daniel's - and gone to the largest of the root-caves as Catherine calls them. I feel really guilty for packing Catherine and Ernest off together like that with only Teal'c who is, despite how much we all like the guy, not really the best kind of company that those two need. But I need to talk with Carter, I need to be with her now.

We work together quickly and efficiently, just like we always have. I observe discreetly as she struggles with the broken limb, the way she tries and fails to keep the pain hidden from me, the way she determinedly tries until she gets the poles clipped in using her feet and legs to hold the one while her good hand clips the two together, her useless arm is kept close against her. Sure, she's not as quick as she was, so what? I feel a surge of pride and affection wash over me for this pale woman working so determinedly in the murky grey dimness of our root-cave. Despite her fears of last night that she's no good to us, that she's useless without her arm, that she's deformed...I still...she's still my friend. I still like her, I still rely on her and I still trust her completely and explicitly with my life and those of my friends.

We're done almost before I know it, and hastily we store the pack inside the small tent now set up inside the root-cave. There's just time to go check on the others before the storm comes again. We know it's coming because the air has gone deathly still again and a loud cracking sound is echoing over the land from the ocean, signaling it's arrival.

"Catherine? Teal'c?" We peer into their dim root-cave for signs of life.

"You done already?" Catherine asks, reminding me very much of a school girl on camp.

"Yeah. You guys?" I enter their cave and find myself face to face with their tent.

"Teal'c is just putting in the last few pegs." She informs me.

"Ha! We beat you!" I smirk, grinning triumphantly at Carter. She offers a weak, unsteady smile in return and I feel another wave of pride crash over me. She's strong, she'll fight this and come out the victor. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she heals her arm *completely* with pure will power. Mind you, she'd probably tell me that physically, that's not possible. That's our Carter though, stubborn and determined as hell.

"You'd better get back." Catherine frowns as a roll of thunder resounds through the tree.

"You know, this is incredibly stupid." I point out. "We're sheltering under a tree in the middle of a lightening storm."

"It's all we can do." Catherine reminds me of my earlier relisation.

"Okay. Well, have fun then. And Catherine," I hesitate, meeting her eyes in the rapidly growing dark, "I'm sorry."

She knows what I'm talking about. About Carter confiding in me, not in her. About shrugging her off with Teal'c and Ernest, one of whom she can't talk to and the other who isn't much better company. She should be the one in the tent with Sam. I should be bunking with the guys. Not her.

"It's okay." She smiles at me, and there is nothing false or resentful or sarcastic about it. She understands, and she's happy.

"Thanks." I hug her quickly and then wave goodbye to Teal'c and Ernest. Outside the wind has picked up, and I feel a bit of surprise that we didn't even feel it inside the root-cave. "Come on!" I grab Carter's hand and we run, feeling like naughty teenagers, towards our root-cave.

Inside it's surprisingly snug. The sleeping bag is lying open on the bottom of the tent and Carter has pulled out a spare little towel. I don't know why she's got that out, but I'm not going to ask.

"Colonel?" She hesitates, licking her lips slightly and looks embarrassed. Then the darkness closes over us and I can't see her anymore. I hear and feel the thunder as it plays joyfully over the skies, proclaiming its message loudly and forcefully. The storm has hit.

"Carter?" I ask once the thunder has died down.

"Never mind." She closes off again, but I won't let that happen.

"No, what? I'm bored now, so you'll have to tell me." I inform her, bringing lightness to the situation.

"You're always bored. Even in briefings." She points out.

"True. But you still haven't told me what you wanted." I bring the subject back on track. She's really too good at changing the subject without you even realising it.

"I was just wondering if you could help me..." She trails off.

"Sure."

"My arm..." She hesitates again.

"Spit it out, Captain."

"I hurt it when I fell before..."

"Where's the towel?" I ask softly, understanding.

"Here." Something soft lands in my lap.

I quickly knot the two ends together and then shuffled towards her until I bump into her soft form. "Here." Hoping that I won't accidently touch anything inappropriate, I reach out and come into contact with her shoulder. Phew. Quickly I slip the towel over her head and she helps me as I place the arm into the make-shift sling.

"Thanks." She whispers, her voice trembling.

"It's okay, Carter." I feel compassion burst open in me. It should scare me, I realise dimly as I gather into my arms again, hugging her gently, that the sudden intense flood of emotions I've been feeling lately are all directed at her. But, common sense kicks in, it's because of the storm, the adrenaline and the fact that I nearly lost her the first time that's making these emotions so intense. They'll pass, right along with the storm. At least I hope so.

For now though, she's not my 2IC anymore, she's my friend who's in need of a hug and a shoulder to cry on, and seeing as my shoulders are just so damn big and manly, I'm guessing I'm the right on for the job description. So we huddle together, for warmth and comfort, during the darkness of the storm while outside the world gets bashed the shreds. Damn. There go some of those lovely tree specimens...

~Part Twelve~

~*~

"Ready?" Thomas asks, looking around at us. He's got this look in his eyes that says, 'why me?'. Jack used to get that look in his eye sometimes when Sam and I got involved in a very deep discussion about something scientific or moral...and Teal'c usually added his two cents worth about his experiences. He's very surprising, Teal'c. Because he hardly ever speaks -spoke - people thought he was the 'innocent' alien, the one who didn't know anything about culture etc. Teal'c did actually know a lot more than most people, his sense of honour, dignity and loyalty as well as his intelligence meant that his contributions to our conversation were usually very thought provoking. Unless of course he was asking one of his *questions*...

"Dr. Jackson?" Thomas' eyes focus on me. I nod curtly and turn away from him, facing the Stargate.

A frission of excitement runs through me, followed closely by a stab of betrayal. Here I am, standing at the foot of the ramp leading up to the Stargate, ready to embark on another mission while my friends, my team are marooned on another planet. Or dead. And I call myself their friend.

"Where's Dr. Lawson?" Mason asks the question burning on everyone's mind as we still stand at the bottom of the ramp.

"I don't know." Thomas glares at his watch, his jaw clenched in anger. I look up at him. The man is tall, a bit taller than Teal'c, but thin. Weedy would probably be a better way to describe him. Still, I wouldn't like to get in a fight with him because there's something about the way he moves that tells you that his entire weedy frame is nothing but muscle; a sinewy strength.

A door hisses open and, standing in a very embarrassed tangle of straps and field gear, is our Dr. Lawson, her hair curling out from underneath her helmet and her cheeks a fiery red colour.

"Where the hell were you?" Thomas demands as she struggles towards us, teetering drunkenly around as she tries to get used to her large, awkward pack. I know the feeling. Only recently can I confidently step through that gate with my pack on my back, knowing that I probably won't fall over. At first I fell over before I even stepped through the gate. And I can now put the stupid thing on without help. Lawson, however, can't.

"Here." I sigh, shuffling over to her. Her surprise blue eyes meet mine, and for a minute I'm confused. Why is she surprised? Then I realise that I haven't actually spoken to her. To any of them yet. No wonder she's surprised by my offer of help.

"Sorry, I'm just so..." She stands rigidly, awkwardly trying to watch to see the straps I'm pulling, tightening and loosening.

"Not a problem. Sam and Jack actually had to take my pack off a few times before..." I pause and continue with my task. What am I doing here, talking to her about Sam and Jack? What am I doing here, ready to go on another mission.

"Chevron Seven, Locked." The techie announces as the gate whooses into life, it's surface rippling and moving gracefully as the precarious balance between stability and chaos is maintained.

"*IF* you're ready..." Thomas glares at the poor woman, and I can almost feel her shrinking away.

"Sorry..." She whispers, but I'm surprised that she doesn't offer any explanation. I notice with surprise as Thomas glances up towards General Hammond standing in the control room, nearly mouthing the words 'I told you so' before turning and leading the way up the ramp and stepping through fearlessly. A pang goes through me. He didn't salute the General. Jack *always* gave General Hammond a salute before we left.

Mason and Lawson watch with some surprise and amusement as I attempt a salute, to which General Hammond somberly responds with one of his own. "Good luck." His voice echoes through the room before it snaps away as I step through the gate.

~*~

Jackson is one weird assed fellow. I nearly collapsed with laughter when he saluted, or should I say *tried* to salute the General. I didn't though, simply cos I knew that General Hammond wouldn't be too impressed with me. Neither would Thomas for that matter.

The trip through the gate is..."Hey Jackson, how would you say 'incredible' in another language?" I ask once my breakfast feels settled again.

"Why?" He asks, blinking at me seriously from behind those glasses he wears. At least he's more awake than Lawson though. The woman is busy losing her lunch into the bushes next to the Stargate.

"Never mind." I sigh and trot over towards Thomas like the good little 2IC I am.

Thomas is gazing at the gate with a look of awe on his face. "And we're going to be doing that for..."

"A long time." I grin at him, and for the first time I feel more than just officialism coming from my new 2IC. About time too, I never thought he'd warm up to me...always treating me as though I'm some kind of imbecile. Okay, so I've known the guys for a few weeks and I haven't actually *done* anything with him other than attend two or three briefings...but he's very capable of making his feelings known pretty damn quickly.

"Yeah." He grins at me, camaraderie sparkling in his eyes, but it quickly fades when he remembers Jackson and Lawson.

"So, where to?" I ask him, shifting my pack that already seems to weigh a billion tonnes.

"You're too impatient, Mason." He throws off-handedly over his shoulder before heading back towards the two doctors. "Everything okay?"

"That was terrible." Lawson groans, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. There's something about her...I don't know. She's jumpy, more jumpy than a newly broken in colt, ready to spook at anything.

"It gets better the more times you go through." Jackson offers. I feel envy when I look at him. The trip didn't even phase him, he didn't even turn green. Hell, he's even quicker than Thomas, already has the whole area scouted out *and* he has the beacon set up. A seasoned traveller, one of the very originals. Him and Ferretti, the only two left now. I feel another pang of envy when I look at him. He was serving with the greatest SG team there was, he was *part* of the greatest SG team there was, close friends with Jack O'Neill, one of the most talked about Colonels in not only the SGC, but in black ops and boot camp...and the man doesn't care. All he cares about is the fact that his friends are gone. And, strangely enough, I feel respect and admiration for him. Someone with that kind of loyalty, friendship...I haven't met anyone like that till now, and I've certainly never had or been a friend like that.

"So which way?" Thomas asks them, and I smirk. That had basically been my question...

"The UAV showed some signs of past life 3 clicks West from here..." Jackson says, not even looking up from his pack which is now already lying half unpacked on the ground. I'm impressed. Three clicks. UAV. Seems this man learnt a lot from Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter.

"So why are you unpacking your pack?" Thomas asks, very sarcastically.

"Well...considering the fact that it looks an awful lot like rain..." Jackson points out, placing a raincoat over the top of his jacket. Raincoat? What on earth does that man have in his bulging pack? An umbrella?

"So what's in your pack?" Thomas asks, raising an eyebrow in sceptism.

"What I always have in my pack." Jackson looks up, daring Thomas to argue.

"Which is?"

"Books, for research. My sleeping gear, cooking gear, first aid kid, antihistamines, spare change of clothes..."

"Change of clothes?"

"Of course. You don't expect me to walk around in the same clothes for two days?" He sounds shocked.

"And O'Neill let you carry all this stuff with you?" Thomas raises an eyebrow.

"What stuff? It's all necessary." Jackson sounds mildly amused now as he starts putting the unneeded gear - namely medical supplies and a few textbooks - back into his pack.

"Change of clothes? Books?" Thomas waits for a response.

"I'm an archeologist...a linguist...an anthropologist...take your pick." Jackson's sarcasm is very admirable. "I *need* these things to do the job I'm paid to do."

"Which is?" Thomas looks annoyed and slightly embarrassed now.

"Find out about other cultures, people, our own history..." Jackson raises his eyebrow as he shoulders his pack and belts himself up again.

We all stand for a minute, looking dumbly at each other until Jackson speaks up again. "So, who's taking point then?"

I can't help myself from bursting into laughter, the look on Thomas' face is priceless. If I didn't know better, I'd say Jackson was in command of this mission, despite Thomas' position and ranking.

A glare from my CO quickly shuts me up.

"Mason, you take our six, I'll take point. You two can just fall into place." Thomas orders warily.

"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go..." Jackson mutters beneath his breath. He catches the grin I send in his direction and offers me a slight smile. Seems the man does have a sense of humour after all. Great. At least the whole team won't be a bag of deadbeats who can't take a joke...

"Jackson." Thomas snaps, and a tense, awkward silence falls over us. So much for a first mission, Thomas is shaping up to be the CO from hell, complete control freak. And Lawson...I'd forgotten she was here actually...she's so quiet and shy, almost afraid of us. Maybe when she gets to play around with her little instruments and do her job she'll loosen up.

Hopefully Thomas loosens up as well, other wise I can just see my future. Janitorial duties due to court-martial.

~Thirteen~

~*~

I'm warm, Catherine. I don't remember ever being this warm during a storm. Teal'c and the woman are sitting on either side of me, a sleeping bag spread over us, keeping us warm. The roots of the tree we are sheltering in keep the wind and rain away, and the tent around us adds for extra warmth. I don't remember ever being this warm during a storm.

"Are you warm enough, Catherine?" I ask.

"Yes, fine thanks." The woman responds. I jerk. She's not Catherine. I feel her own stiffness against me. She realised, too late, that I wasn't talking to her. Her name is Catherine as well, but I can't bring myself to call her Catherine. She's not Catherine.

Why aren't you talking to me anymore, Catherine? Why do you disappear each time I try and look at you? Why do I see your eyes looking so tired and sorrow-filled in the older woman's face?

"How long do you think it's been, since the storm started?" The woman asks, her voice nearly drowned by the storm.

"Not many hours." Teal'c answers her.

Teal'c is strange. He is a Jaffa. I have never heard of a Jaffa, or seen one until now. He says he comes from another planet, Catherine. A planet called Chulak. In his gut there is a *thing*. A thing that reminds me of a snake. They call it a Goa'uld. Teal'c calls it a symbiote. An alien. Teal'c is an alien.

"I wonder how Sam and Jack are." the woman continues talking. The silence makes her uncomfortable.

"They will be fine." Teal'c consoles her, his voice calm and resonating in the tent. "O'Neill and Captain Carter are both warriors, Dr. Langford."

"I know Teal'c...but Sam was..."

"O'Neill will take care of her." Teal'c sounds certain of this.

In my mind, I see the two of them. I see him talking softly to her, offering her words of comfort none of us can hear, while the waves throw themselves against the rocks. I see him holding her, giving her his strength. Yes, he will look after her. They have the same bond we have, Catherine. One that doesn't need words to express itself because we *know* its there. We've always known it was there, the words just confirmed what has always been. Yes, they will look after each other. Teal'c is right, we shouldn't worry about them.

~*~

I wake up slowly, not really thinking about it until my arm starts aching again. As my senses awaken along with my body, I realise that while my nose and one half of my face is warm, the otherside is cold. That is, I'm suddenly aware, because the warm half of my face and nose is firmly pressed up against the Colonel. I'm lying half on top of him, the sleeping bag tangled around us, his one arm around me and the other hand tangled in my hair.

He's still sleeping, the steady rise and fall of his chest is surprisingly comforting as I take in my surroundings. The surprising silence that seems too strange causes me to realise that the storm is over. How long for, I don't know, but it's over.

I debate whether or not to wake the Colonel up. He looks so peaceful, so asleep, that I decide to leave him be. Which means I don't move either, just in case I wake him up. That's fine by me, it's warm and secure snuggled safe in his arms.

I sigh slightly, and let my eyelids fluttered closed again.

"Sam? Jack?" The tent flaps part suddenly and my eyes blink open to reveal Catherine and Teal'c, both looking surprisingly cheery and awake.

"Mm?" I mumble, not really feigning sleepiness. My movements are slow and sluggish, my eyelids still feel like they're glued shut.

"Morning. Well, afternoon actually." Catherine grins at me

"What?" I have no choice now but to roll out of the warmth of his arms and into the cold air.

"Don't." The Colonel mumbles, catching me and snuggling close. "It's cold. Go away Catherine, find your own hot water bottle." Not once does he open his eyes.

"Uh...okay." Catherine looks *very* amused now. The dim light filtering in from the mouth of the root-cave throws a greenish tint on everything.

"O'Neill, should we not attempt to find food before the next storm strikes?"

"Find food all you like. I'm sleeping now." Colonel O'Neill says, one eye opening lazily. "And so's Carter." He states firmly.

"Very well." Teal'c pulls back, leaving Catherine gazing at us curiously, a *very* amused smile on her face.

"Catherine, if you don't close the flap of that tent *now* and stop letting all the warm air out..." Colonel O'Neill opens his other eye, shifting slightly into a more comfortable position.

"Okay!" Catherine grins and backs away, letting the flap fall into place. "Have fun!" I don't know if I heard the words floating towards us, or whether I imagine them, but they bring what I know is a rosy flush to my cheeks.

"We're sleeping, Catherine! Sleeping!" The Colonel sighs dramatically.

We lie in silence for a while, and I'm surprised how relaxed it is. I would never have imagined the two of us lying like this, sleeping together like this. Not in a million years. I wonder what Hammond would say if he caught his 2IC in bed with *his* 2IC? I giggle at the thought.

"What?" The Colonel asks, moving again so that I'm not snugly wedged between his arm and his body, my head resting against his neck on his shoulder.

"I was just thinking what would General Hammond think if he caught us like this."

"We haven't done anything though." he's confused, and I can just picture that *look* he gets on his face when he's completely baffeled.

"I know." I giggle again. He must think there's something completely wrong with me. I hardly ever giggle...but lately I've been giggling around him like a school girl. Come to think of it, I *feel* like a school girl around him. I don't feel like I have to prove anything anymore, that I have to *prove* I'm smart, that I have to *prove* I'm capable. He accepts me the way I am, and that makes me comfortable around him.

"So?" He waits for me to explain the joke.

"I was just wondering what he'd think if he found his 2IC - you, in bed with your 2IC!" I giggle again.

"Sometimes, Carter, I wonder what exactly it is that makes people think you're so smart." He tells me, giving me a slight squeeze.

We lie in silence again, and I savour the feeling of contentment I have lying here in his arms.

"This is nice." He says eventually.

"What? Being stuck on a planet in the roots of a tree while we wait for a storm to pass and pray that lightening doesn't strike us is nice?" I ask him sarcastically, knowing full well what he means.

"No. That's not too great." He admits. "But this, this is nice." He waves his hand around the in air a bit, gesturing wildly. "Just...I don't know. I feel..." He stops.

"What?" I ask him, holding my breath.

"Happy." He says softly.

"And that's a bad thing?" I ask, confused by the way in which he said it, almost as if he doesn't want to believe it, that it can't be true.

"I...I don't know." He sighs softly, twining his fingers with mine in an unconscious gesture of...of what? "We're friends, aren't we?" He asks almost hesitantly.

"Of course." I'm surprised by that. I mean, fair enough, we are CO and 2IC, but I thought we were also friends.

"Good. That's good, Carter." His moving fingers still in mine and he seems to relax against me.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"For what?" Confusion again. The man is unable to accept a *serious* thank you from friends.

"For today. This morning. Last night." I can't remember when it was that he spoke those whispered words to me, but I can remember what he told me.

He doesn't answer me, and I know it's because he doesn't know what to say. And that's fine. Rather that than having him brush off my thanks.

"Wonder what Teal'c's found." He says, sounding slightly guilty.

"I don't know. We probably should go and have a look." I say, understanding his guilt at not contributing to the task of finding food.

"It's just so cold." He complains.

"What, an old man like you can't handle the weather?" I grin up at him, but the world seems to freeze for a million years while our eyes lock. Suddenly I'm very aware of his body pressed up next to mine, of his strong fingers holding mine and of his face only centimetres away.

"Jack!" Ernest's voice breaks the spell and I sit up jerkily. What *was* that? What were we doing? "JACK!"

"What?" Colonel O'Neill gets up reluctantly, turning around and offering me a hand up. I accept it, but the sudden fear that rises up in me when I realise just how aware I am of his rough hand holding mine makes me let it go the minute I'm standing. I can't look at him, not when I'm suddenly flooded with these traiterous feelings of...attraction. God. The man's my CO, my friend. You're not supposed to feel attracted to him, not supposed to develop a crush on him overnight.

Overnight. Okay. That's it. It's been a very, *very* emotional time these last few weeks, and he's been there for me, talking to me, helping me, looking after me. Of *course* I'm going to feel attracted to him. This will pass soon, for the sake of our friendship it had better pass soon. I'm gonna kill Catherine for putting ideas like these in my head.

~*~

Standing here, looking down on our prize, I feel tinges of pride in me. It has been many, many years since I have hunted. Since our stranding here my hunting skills have returned, and now our patience and diligence has finally been rewarded.

"What is *that*?" O'Neill's voice sounds awed, if not slightly jealous.

"Food." Dr. Langford answer him shortly.

"And a pelt." Captain Carter adds softly. Her voice sounds strange, as if her mind is elsewhere. Looking at her pale face and the distant look in her eyes, I understand that this is the case. Her thoughts *are* elsewhere.

"So...what are we gonna do with this honking pile of...of...animal?" O'Neill asks.

"Smoke it." I have thought of this problem too, and smoking it seems to be the most obvious solution.

"Uh, just in case it slipped your attention Teal'c, we are in the middle of hurricane weather at the moment...I don't see how..."

"The root-caves." Dr. Langford inserts, her eyes bright with excitement and pride.

"I wonder *what* it is." Captain Carter sounds more like herself, the curiousity and puzzlement is back in her eyes. I observe O'Neill's look of relief and affection as he glances at her, and feel a strange sense of happiness. I do not know what O'Neill and Captain Carter were discussing, and I have no wish to find out unless they decide to enlighten me.

"Well...it was running around on all four legs..." Dr. Langford describes.

"It doesn't look like a carnivore." Captain Carter is now bending over at the creature's head, examining its teeth.

"It seemed afraid when it saw us...I have never seen one of these before."

"I think the storm must have scared it out into the open." Captain Carter strokes her hand along the oily, matted fur.

"So, you can skin, gut and chop this thing up within the next coupla hours, right?" O'Neill checks with me.

"I believe so."

"Great. Well, you can do that. I'll go look for a cave for you to...smoke...this *thing* in." O'Neill backs away, still looking hesitant.

"Very well." O'Neill obviously is not fond of this kind of work. I am not either, but many years of experience has made me efficient at it.

Captain Carter is also experienced at this. Upon the curious look that Dr. Langford gives her, she admits that she went on hunting trips with her Dad as a young child. A shadow crosses her face as the words pass over her lips, but both Dr. Langford and I know she will be unwilling to tell us more if we pry. Captain Carter is a person who does not like to talk much about herself.

By the time we have removed the skin from the animal, which Captain Carter decided is a cross between a 'cow' and a 'deer' with a distinctly 'rabbit' like pelt, the calm in the air is starting to dissipitate. It will not be long before the next storm strikes.

We work quickly, carving the animal up into large portions which we give to O'Neill, Ernest and Dr. Langford to transport to the root-cave they have found.

"We've stocked the cave up with firewood." O'Neill states. "It's big. Catherine and I are going to get the packs and tents and move them to the new cave. It's more than big enough." He glances at Captain Carter, making sure with her that the new arrangements will be satisfactory. This is interesting, O'Neill normally makes most decisions, and if one has a complaint with them, then one speaks up. Now he is making sure Captain Carter is satisfied. I can not help but to be curious as to what has passed between the two of them.

Placing the last of the animal on the pelt and carrying it towards the root- cave between the two of us, Captain Carter and I quickly follow Ernest to the new cave. It is indeed a spacious confinement. Putting the meat to one side, O'Neill and I stretch the large pelt over one 'wall' and hammer it in place with spare tent-pegs. We then turn to the small fire that Captain Carter has managed to build up from the damp kindling and logs.

Taking a large cooking pot, I prepare to cook some of the meat for our evening meal.

~*~

"Carter," Jack looks up from the pack he's busy digging through. "Is this Daniel's pack?"

"Yes Sir." She looks up at him, mildly surprised, before turning back to a large textbook on Ancient Rome.

"Do you have any idea of what exactly he *has* in here?" Jack sounds slightly shocked and awed.

"Well, no Sir. I thought I'd be better off not knowing." Sam admits, closing the book. The flickering flames of the smoking fire hardly throw any light onto the pages, despite how close she is sitting to the fire.

"He has *two* sleeping bags. Not one, *two*." Jack states, pulling the second sleeping bag out. "And look, this one is nearly big enough to fit two people!" He sounds absolutely flabbergasted. "And books. Carter, why does the man insist on bringing a library load of books through on every mission?"

"I don't know, Sir. I think it might have something to do with his line of work." Sam tries not to smile, but fails.

"Are you undermining the seriousness of the situation, Captain?" Jack looks at her, and if I didn't know him well enough to be able to read the laughter lines around his face, I would have thought he was serious.

"Of course not." Sam shakes her head in mock innocence and makes her way over to Jack.

"Okay. So, Teal'c?" Jack looks through the dim cave. Teal'c is sitting on the otherside of the fire, busy cooking a stew from some of the animal that we hunted today. Ernest is hovering next to him, eagerly watching what the skilled man is doing to the raw meat that he's preparing to smoke.

"Yes O'Neill?" Teal'c looks up.

"When I got you to take an inventory of the packs...you didn't think it necessary to tell me that most of the stuff in here is completely *useless* to us?" Jack demands.

"I did inform you, O'Neill, that Daniel Jackson's pack contained mostly research materials, medical supplies, sleeping equipment and a large supply of chocolate." Teal'c looks up at Jack. "Along with the regular food supplies, emergency rations and a spare change of clothes."

"A spare change of clothes?" Jack shakes his head. "So *that's* where the extra things came from."

"Don't you bring spare clothes on missions?" Sam sounds quite surprised.

"Well, I bring underwear, but trousers, boots and jackets?" Jack shrugs.

"You mean he brought a jacket and boots?" Sam tries not to laugh.

"Yes. When we get home, Carter, remind me to check his pack before every mission." Jack lets go of the pack. "So, Teal'c, how far's the grub?"

"What grub, O'Neill? I am not aware of any insects or grubs in our root- cave."

I can't help myself, bursting into a peal of laughter despite the dirty look Jack sends me.

"When the *food* is ready, Teal'c, do us a favour and bring it over here. I'm freezing my toushie off." Jack stands up, dragging a sleeping with him in one hand and clutching Sam's hand in the other. Holding hands? I'm curious. What exactly *were* they doing in the tent by themselves?

"What are you doing?" I ask as Jack sits down on the ground next to me, tugging Sam down on his other side.

"Getting warm between two gorgeous women." He grins wolfishly at me before theatrically spreading the sleeping bag over the three of us. Relishing the sudden warmth, I accept his offer and lean against him, cuddling into his arm that he's put around my shoulders. I can see Sam's head doing the same as mine, burying itself under his chin. The only difference is, he leans his head on hers and I can feel majority of his weight shifting to lean against Sam.

I smile inspite of myself. Oh, I can't wait to see how far this goes!

~*~

"Colonel!" Carter's voice breaks the fresh silence.

"Carter. Good morning." I smile over at her, but don't make any move to leave my position. The sun is out today, and I'm making the most of it. No way in hell are they getting me off this lovely warm rock. A week of storms is *more* than enough to make a man need a little R & R in the sun for a while.

"I've been talking to Catherine and Teal'c, Sir, and both of them agreed that it was quite amazing that the trees we were sheltering in *weren't* struck by lightening." She starts out, building up to something big.

"Get to the point." I sigh, not really feeling like pretending to listen to another long lecture in mumbo-jumbo that I can't even understand.

"Well, I did some tests on the soil on the next hill along from our trees, Sir, and they contain a lot of..."

"Carter!" I warn her, opening an eye to peek at her.

"To put it in short, Colonel, any lightening that comes near the trees won't strike them because it's attracted to the hill..."

"Like blue metal?" I ask lazily.

"Yes! I think it's something very similar inside the hill..."

"No offence, Carter, but why do I need to know this?"

"Well, how about if we change plans slightly?" She licks her lips.

"How?" I sit up, realising I'm not going to get my R & R until I've listened to her.

"If we spent this break between storms gathering food and getting a base camp set up in the trees, along with supplies, and head out to the city next break, then we'd be better equiped and have somewhere relatively safe, dry and secure to head back to if we run into trouble." She explains.

"What kind of supplies were you thinking of?" I ask, mulling the idea over in my mind. It's not a bad idea, but I'm just a little blank on how they propose to *preserve* any supplies in the root-caves.

"We've got the smoked meat..."

"Which is nearly finished..."

"But we could go hunting for more. There should be more of those animals out there somewhere, and if we could hunt a few more and dry the meat out with salt..."

"Which we get where?"

"The ocean...anyway, we could also use to pelts and make 'clothes' out of them." She's getting all excited about the prospect of playing 'Swiss Family Robinson'.

"Carter, I don't want to wear a stinking animal carcass." I shudder.

"No offence Sir, but your BDU's aren't going last forever. Neither are your boots."

"And Catherine and Teal'c also want to do this?" I sigh. It's a mutiny.

"Well, we only discussed it..." She hesitates. "Yes Sir."

"So why send you? Why not all come over?" I frown, not liking this way of sending Carter over to reason with me.

"Well, Catherine and Teal'c AND Ernest seem to think that there's something between us..." She blushes and looks down.

"There is." I grin. "We're friends, remember?" I pat her shoulder.

"Yes Sir. Friends." She smiles up at me, but her eyes seem suspiciously bright.

"Go and tell *Catherine* that sending you to try and convince me probably isn't the best idea because you fill me so full of unintelligible mumbo- jumbo that I can't think straight..." I grin at her and she smiles widely in response, "But the idea *had* sort of been playing across my mind already. You just pointed out ways to make it possible."

"Yes Sir!" She does a snappy salute, laughs, and leaves me alone with my peaceful time in the sun. Suddenly I feel lonely and in short of company, and I wish secretly that Carter had hung around for a little longer and just talked. I like, I realise with surprise, listening to her talk, even if it *is* mumbo jumbo.

~Fourteen~

~*~

I find him in the science department. He's sitting in my office, a resigned sadness on his face as he studies the walls bearing my books and personal ornaments.

"Dr. Jackson." I lick my lips nervously, watching him warily from the doorway.

"Dr. Lawson!" He's startled, glancing at me guiltily before hastily struggling out of my chair.

"Were you looking for someone?" I ask him tentatively as he glances around my office again before walking towards me.

"Mm?" He blinks, focusing on me again. "No." He shakes his head, an odd smile playing around his blue eyes.

"Then what...?" I wait for an explanation. This man is strange. During the missions we've been on these last few months I haven't really gotten to know him very well, but then again no one really has. Despite the few dangerous situations we've been in, that we've relied on each other to save our lives, we still don't know each other as a team. Not the way other SG teams, like Ferretti's for example, know each other. We're not friends.

"I...nothing." He swallows, I can see his adam's apple bobbing slightly, but then the mask is back in place and those detached blue eyes are studying me intently again. He's holding something, I realise. A photo. A photo that has four people standing together comfortably. A team. An SG team. SG-1. The real SG-1.

We're fooling ourselves, all of us. Mason and Thomas are fooling themselves thinking that they can become the next SG-1. Sure, we're officially called SG-1, but we *aren't* SG-1, not the way Jackson, O'Neill, Carter and Teal'c were.

Carter. This was her office. That's why he's here.

"I'm sorry." I look up at him. It's ridiculous this fear I keep feeling, but I can't get rid of it. Jackson is a gentleman, but I'm still scared. Of all of them. How did Carter do it, live with three men and become a part of their team?

"For what?" He blinks, surprised as he starts to step past me.

"For not being her. For Mason and Thomas not being the others." I whisper.

He turns to me then, sorrow in his eyes. "I am too." His words cut into me. I flinch, despite myeslf, and turn away from him.

"Dr. Lawson...Alexandra...I'm sorry." He catches a hold of my arm and turns me back to him. "I...it's just...three months. You know. Three months...it's a long time." He runs a hand through his hair. "A quarter of a year."

"You were lucky, having them." I tell him, smiling slightly.

"Yeah. I was." He agrees, a slight smile crossing over his lips.

"Anytime you need to, you're welcome to come in here..." I motion to my office. "If it helps you feel closer to her..."

"To her?" He blinks.

"Captain Carter."

"What?" He looks completely surprised. "I'm afraid I've lost you..."

"If you need to come here to remember her or anything, that's fine." I tell him, also slightly confused now.

"To remember Sam?" He sounds slightly wary now. "You think Sam and I were...?" He pauses, unable to say the word.

"Involved? Weren't you?" I blink. Why else would he come to her office?

"NO!" He nearly laughs at the idea. "It's just we all used to come in here together, because Sam was usually here and..." He trails off, obviously remembering another time. "Oh no, Sam and I didn't have anything like that. I'm married." He explains.

"Oh. You are? I didn't know that." Now I feel like a real idiot. Two months we've been serving together, and I still don't know that he's married.

"Yeah. Sha're..." He trails off, a wistful look on his face. But he wipes it away and his mask slips back into place.

"What does she do?" I ask, curious.

"She's...." A look of pain twists his features up. "The Goa'uld have her." He whispers.

A stab of pain shoots through me for him. His best friends are gone, and his wife is with the Goa'uld. I feel disgusted by my earlier irritation and dislike for his acting as though the whole world was against him. Jackson has been through so much more than I'll ever be able to understand...

"Jack and I were going to get them back." He says softly, his eyes blank and far away.

"Them?"

"Skaara. Her brother." He focuses on me again. "What about you? I don't know anything about you. About any of you actually." He gives a raw bark of laughter that grates painfully over the tense silence.

"I'm married." I acknowledge.

"Kids?" He asks, a bitter smile on his face.

"Yeah. A daughter, Angela. She's two." I smile, thinking about my little angel.

"Sweet." He says, and looks mildly surprised as the word passes over his lips. Sweet.

"Yeah, she is sweet." I watch him curiously. A series of emotion plays over his face, eventually settling on determination.

"Three months is a long time." He says again, his voice resigned.

"A quarter of a year." I echo his words.

"Too long for us to be a team without *being* a team." He states. He takes a breath and looks at me steadily, his voice only cracking slightly as he speaks again. "Are you free on Saturday?"

"Ye-es." I say hesitantly.

"Good. We're going to have a pizza and poker night." He says, his voice strained.

"Pizza and Poker night?" I'm doubtful.

"Yes. It's a SG team thing. You have pizza and poker night one Saturday night a month. At least one anyway." He smiles slightly and then his eyes are boring into mine, begging me to agree.

"I don't know how to play Poker." I admit eventually.

"I didn't either. Neither did Teal'c. We'll teach you though." He states calmly, only the shaking of his hand betraying the emotions raging inside him.

"Okay. Where?" I agree spontaneously.

"My place. 7p.m." His voice wobbles slightly.

"Okay. Thanks Dr. Jackson."

"If we're going to *be* a team, Alexandra, call me Daniel." He states firmly.

"Fine. Then I'm Alex or Lexi. NEVER Alexandra." I smile slightly.

"Just like Sam..." He grins properly for the first time, and I can see the sorrow in his eyes are he remembers his friend, but the desperation and complete desolation is missing. Three months *is* a long time, long enough for him to have started healing.

~*~

How did I let Jackson talk me into this? Standing outside his apartment, a six-pack clutched in one hand and a packet of munchies in the other, I once again berate myself for agreeing with this.

"Thomas!" He flings the door open. His smile is strained and I can see him struggling to keep control of his emotions. This man has guts, I realise with a start, he has more guts than I'll ever be able to imagine. As the CO of SG-1, *I* should be the one making the effort to try and get us to *be* more of a team instead of a few people just getting thrown together in a rush. Instead, Jackson is the one working on the team spirit while he's still dealing with the loss of his real team.

"Hey Jackson." I shuffle nervously on one foot, peering over his shoulder into the cluttered apartment behind him.

"Come on in. Alex is already here..." He turns around and leads the way in.

Alex? I thought that Mason's name was Eric...OH! Seated on the couch in a pair of tailored slacks and a fitted T, with her hair spilling over her shoulders again is a woman. My eyes widen slightly. Dr. Lawson. It's our scientist! I am shocked by the transformation...

"That'll be Mason." Jackson announces as the door bell rings.

"Hey, I haven't missed anything, have I?" Mason's voice sounds relaxed and natural. I'm surprised actually, very surprised at how well Mason and Jackson get along. Mason's sarcasm and continual talking/showing off irritates the hell out of me, but Jackson seems to accept it, even smiling and retorting with a sarcasm of his own. I would never have thought the two of them would have gotten along the best out of all of us.

"No, Thomas and Alex arrived like two minutes apart, and you're a minute behind Thomas." Jackson's voice grows louder as he enters the stilted silence of the loungeroom again.

"Great. So. Have you ordered yet?" Mason asks hopefully, his blue eyes excited at the prospect of a pizza and beer evening.

"No, I told you Mason, everyone just got here!" Jackson rolls his eyes and takes the two six-packs Mason brought with him. Picking up the pack I brought, he disappears through a pair of swinging doors.

"So. What did you do on your evening off?" Mason asks, his voice falsely bright and cheery as he looks at Lawson. He knows better than to try and strike up a conversation with me.

"I stayed in." Lawson offers helpfully.

"Oh. Well...I..." He searches his mind, trying to remember something interesting. "No...nothing much myself." He admits. "How about you, Major?" He asks me politely, still using my rank.

"Had dinner." I offer him, deciding that for Jackson's sake I could at least *try* to make an effort.

"Oh. I had pizza." He grins.

"And now you're having pizza again?" Lawson raises a delicate eyebrow. I'm surprised at the teasing tone on her voice.

"Of course. I only have uhealthy food once a week." Mason deadpans.

"Unhealthy food?"

"Steak. On the BBQ." Mason grins, his smile unable to be held in check. That man smiles through anything, including a gunfight. I've never seen anyone smile so much.

"What's this about steak?" Jackson enters the room, bearing a bowl of peanuts and four cold bottles of beer.

"Mason was just saying how he only eats unhealthy food - steak - once a week, the rest of the time it's a very health conscious choice of pizza." Lawson grins, and I'm surprised that she looks pretty normal.

"Sounds like Jack." Jackson smiles ruefully, throwing me one of the bottles of bear. He chucks another to Mason and then tosses one lightly to Lawson. Everyone drops off into silence for a while, opening their beer and dragging the first gulp out as long as possible in the strained environment.

As we sit and nurse our beers for about five minutes, without anyone thinking of something that's not completely ridiculous or very false to say, I can't help but wonder just what Jackson hoped to achieve by doing this.

"So...weren't we supposed to be having a party or something?" Mason asks eventually, looking around.

"No. A poker and pizza night." Jackson states stubbornly.

"Oh. And the difference is?" Mason shoots back, raising an eyebrow.

"We don't trash the joint in the process of getting drunk, we just get drunk and lose money." Jackson says drily.

"I don't get drunk." I announce haughtily. It's true, sort of. I can hold my alcohol incredibly well.

"Good for you. Spoils the fun though." Jackson retorts, not missing a beat as he raises the beer to his lips again.

"What pizza are we getting?" Mason has a one track mind.

"Nothing with anchovies." Jackson says firmly.

"I go that." Mason agrees.

"Me too." Lawson agrees thankfully.

"This has to be the first time I'm with a group of people and *no one* likes anchovies." I grin at them, feeling pretty pleased about this ridiculously mundane detail.

"Me too. First time in a long time I'm having pizza without anchovies." Jackson agrees with a relish, taking another swig.

"What, they all liked anchovies?"

"Every single one of them. Always pizza and anchovies. Never even bothered getting me some without." He frowns slightly, the look in his eyes surprising me for a second.

"So. Who's ringing?" Mason demands.

"I will..." Jacksons stands up, placing his empty bottle on the table. Finished already. That was quick "...you deal." He throws a pack of cards towards Mason and disappears out of the room again.

~*~

I glance across the table, sneaking a peak at Jackson's hand. Ha! I've got this one in the bag...if Thomas folds.

"I raise you..." I begin.

"And you're bluffing. I'm calling." Thomas sighs dramatically, swigging another drink. So he doesn't get drunk, fair enough, but he sure has loosened up in these few hours that we've been playing cards. Lawson is out like a light bulb, snoring gently.

"Hey!" Jackson moves sluggishly to try and stop Thomas from taking the pool. "No fair!"

"I've won." He throws his cards on the table. Fair enough..but still!

"Oh no you don't..." I try to grab the pool from him, but the quick jerky movements send my mind reeling and the whole world seems to tilt and sway awkwardly.

"I'm sick of this." Jackson mutters, his hand flopping around on the table, searching for his drink.

"Let's watch a video." I lose interest in the battle for the pool and stagger over towards Jackson's T.V. "What you got?" I ask, my eyes refusing to focus on the tags.

"Documentaries...home videos..." Jackson slurs and half rolls off of his chair. He lands on the floor with a thunk and I can hear Thomas trying to drag him towards the couch.

"Move it Lawson." I hear another thunk, which I can only assume is Lawson as she gets rolled off the chair, and then the creak of springs as a lump of dead weight settles itself on Jackson's sofa.

"Home videos it is." I peer at the blur of videos. "Where are they?"

"Dunno." Jackson mumbles. "Left."

I fumble a video on the left side and somehow jam it into the VCR, pushing buttons until the little clicky noises the machine makes tells me it's going. The TV gets flicked on, probably by remote, but I'm too gone to really care.

I lose interest rapidly as the screen turns desert yellow. "Home videos?"

"Cairo. A dig." Jackson explains, pulling himself up against the couch. Lawson stirs and lifts her form to also lean against the couch. I ignore them and make room for myself next to Thomas.

"Nice. What did you do, build sandcastles?" Lawson asks tiredly, her stretchings blocking my view.

"You're in my way." I complain, pushing her arm away with my foot.

"What? You might miss out on seeing sand?" She's a lot more sarcastic when she's relaxed.

"Hey!" Thomas perks up.

"Who's that?" Lawson asks as the camera focuses on someone.

"Jack." Jackson's voice sounds desolate again. "Teal'c...Sam...General Hammond..." He lists the people, all related the SGC.

"I thought these were home videos." I remark, confused.

"They are."

And then it dawns on me. These people are all Jackson has, all he had. Now he's stuck with us, and we're such a bunch of whacko's that we can't even be his friends. Now I really feel bad.

We all sit and watch for a bit, the stupified haze of alcohol induced sorrow settling over us. On the screen we're watching a party, the four members of SG-1, General Hammond and Doc Fraiser all letting down and relaxing after a mission. I feel jealousy raise its head inside me. Why can't we be a team like that? Why can't Thomas be the CO that O'Neill seemed to be? Why do we have to be like this, always second guessing each other and having our suspicions? I want that. I want what SG-1 had, and I know that Jackson wants back what he's lost. I'm going to try now, for Jackson and for myself.

~Fifteen~

~*~

"I'm *so* bored. No. Bored doesn't cut it. Carter, where's Daniel when you need a word?" O'Neill demands, busy tearing a leaf to shreds with his hand.

"Usually not around." Captain Carter responds, placing a hand over her mouth while she yawns.

"How long still?" O'Neill demands tiredly, abandoning his destroyed leaf and looking across at Captain Carter who is busy studying one of the many textbooks that was in Daniel Jackson's pack.

"A few weeks probably." Captain Carter looks up from her book with resignation written plainly over her features.

"How about a hike?" O'Neill suggests hopefully. "We've done the hunting thing, found no more big animals, caught lots of fish, got the nut things...how about a hike?"

"A hike?" Dr. Langford asks doubtfully, looking at him.

"What if the storms strike while we're away?" Captain Carter reminds him.

"You said we have a few weeks. We don't *need* to be gone that long. Just a few days. Exploring the lay of the land. Who knows, maybe we find some more of those big animal things." He suggests, his excitement for his idea growing.

"Perhaps it would be wise." I agree.

"It would?" Dr. Langford looks doubtful.

"Yes. O'Neill is much like a child, he needs something with which to occupy himself at all times..."

"Teal'c!" O'Neill sounds betrayed.

"This would prove to be an excellent opportunity for everyone to enjoy a small reprieve from the monotony of the life we have." I point out.

"The world is beautiful." Ernest inserts. "The cold season will come soon, but everything is still alive and beautiful now."

"Great. Looks like we're going then." O'Neill jumps up. "Pack your kits people, we're going on a hike." He grins and disappears into the root-cave.

"Is it just me, Catherine, or is Colonel O'Neill acting more and more like a teenager?" Captain Carter sighs, pulling herself to his feet.

"I don't know. I personally think that this isn't so bad."

"You do?" Captain Carter frowns, confused.

"Well, yes. I was retired, Sam. I stayed home all day doing nothing. I wasn't needed. Now I feel as though I'm thirty again...I'm needed here because it's up to everyone to contribute in order for us to survive."

I frown slightly, thinking about Dr. Langford's words. While life here is somewhat idyllic, I would much prefer to return home. To return home to my wife and my son, neither of whom I have seen for a very long time.

"What about you, Teal'c? What do you think?" Captain Carter looks at me, curiousity on her face.

"I would return, if given the opportunity." I answer her, also rising to my feet to assist O'Neill in the 'packing'.

"Why? What's so bad about this life?" Dr. Langford asks me.

"There is nothing bad about this life." I say honestly. I am worried. I have no wish to lie to my comrades and friends, but for me to admit the truth, that I have family would take from the trust that has formed between us.

"Then why?" Dr. Langford persists.

"There are many things that this life lacks, Dr. Langford. Family is one of them, as is duty. I am still in service to the Tau'ri, I am a warrior like O'Neill and Captain Carter. The days here, while pleasant, do not fulfil my ambitions." I turn around.

"I didn't know you had family." Captain Carter frowns slightly.

"Everyone has family, Captain Carter, even Jaffa." I allow a small nod of the head to show her my words are not spoken in anger but in friendship, and then I retreat to the dim recess where O'Neill is busily packing.

~*~

"Were you serious, Catherine?" Sam falls into step beside me.

"About what?"

"About liking life here." She glances at me quickly, but not for long enough so that I can read her features.

"Yes." I'm surprised by that admission. I hated this planet a few weeks ago, but for some reason I've found that I *like* the way we all live and work together like a family. The way we all sit and just talk around the campfire about nothing in particular, the way that I've formed such close bonds with Jack and Sam. Teal'c too, to an extent. I don't think he'll ever really let anyone close to him, but Jack and Sam are becoming not only my friends, but my 'children' too. I feel like their mother, sometimes, wanting to look after them.

"So, if it was possible for us to go home, what would you do?" Her question provokes thought in me.

"I don't know." I realise. "I miss the creature comforts of home, all the people, the relative warmth and security...but this is so nice." I wave my hand around, drawing her attention to the trees around us as we make our way down the hill in the opposite direction of the ocean. "I think, that if you all left then I'd leave too." I say eventually. A revelation hits me. "It's not so much where we are, Sam, it's what we've become." I try and explain.

"What we've become?" She sounds slightly dubious, regarding me warily.

"Yes. Look at you and the Colonel, for example."

"What about us?" The defensive spikes immediately surface, and I smile a gentle smile to let her know I'm not going to tease her about something that I'm not quite sure doesn't exist.

"There's a bond, for lack of a better word, between you now." It's true. Even though we are all friends here, there is something special between the two of them. A different type of relationship.

"But there's one between you and me too." She points out.

"I know." I nod. "A camaraderie, between *all* of us. I doubt that we'd have that if we weren't here." I remind her.

"True. I probably wouldn't even know you properly if we weren't here." She agrees, somewhat ashamedly.

"Don't be ashamed of that, Sam. You have...had your own life, just like I had mine." She sighs at my words and looks ahead to where Teal'c and Jack are walking with Ernest running ahead and pointing things out.

"Would you hate me if I said I wanted to go back?" Sam asks eventually.

"Of course not!" I'm surprised and I link my arm through hers to show her the sincerety of my words.

"I just..." She sighs, frustrated as she tries to push the hair off her face with her bad hand. I let go of her arm without saying anything, and she immediately raises it to brush the strands out of the way. "I want things to be the way they were." She says eventually, casting a guilty look at me. "But I don't want them to be like that because then I would know you or Ernest. And the Colonel and I wouldn't be...I don't know..."

"What are you?" I ask softly.

"Friends. Honestly Catherine, that's all we are. I think we're best friends though." She satisfied suddenly, as if a great weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

"Best friends?" I look across at her, and then think about all the times I've seen the two of them just sitting talking. No. Best friends doesn't cover it. It's more than best friends between the two of them, it's as if they *need* each other close by at all times. I can understand that. The two of them are young, by our standards anyway. They were, realistically, the two of us along with Teal'c that lost the most by becoming stranded here. Ernest has been here so long that it's a part of who he is now. And me? I'm old. I don't have much time left. As long as I'm surrounded by people I love and people who love me then it doesn't really matter all that much.

I look ahead to where Jack is walking, occassionally reaching out a hand and steadying Ernest as he stumbles over rocks in his eagerness to get to the next 'point of interest'.

"It's going to be a long walk back." Sam says eventually, smiling slightly at nothing in particular.

"It is." I agree, groaning inwardly as I think of our day long trek so far. All the way downhill. "Think it'll end soon?"

"I don't know." Sam frowns slightly. "But the storms are going to come soon." She says softly.

"How can you tell?"

"The air." She shrugs her shoulders. "It's slight, but it feels as though the waiting is setting in again."

"And your arm hurts." I broke my leg once, not seriously though. Whenever there's a bad storm coming the bone starts to ache a few hours before hand. I can only imagine what Sam's arm must be like.

"Sometimes." She agrees softly, unwilling to talk about her impairment. "I don't think we should go much further though."

"Why?" I can't say I'm too upset about that, but I'm curious all the same at the note of worry creeping into her voice.

"Didn't it strike you at all odd that the first set of storms we witnessed didn't reach the cave?" She asks eventually.

"Well, we weren't in the cave then..." I point out.

"But still, the water doesn't just go down in a day." She reminds me. "I didn't see it last time, but I'm guessing that there had to have been *some* water in the cave..."

"I guess so. The sand was wet..." I remember.

"But not that wet. This time the whole cave was absolutely drowned in water." She continues.

"Why do you think that is?" I frown, confused now.

"I don't know exactly, but I talked to Ernest a bit yesterday and he said that sometimes the water rose so high it nearly reached the castle..."

"Will it reach the tree?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. As far as I can tell the hill with the tree is actually higher up than the castle..." She pauses. "Apparently with each storm the water level rises higher and higher, settling back down to normal once the storms are over. Then the next storm brings the waters up even higher...then they go back to normal. Eventually when the water gets to its highest point, close to the castle, they start receding with each storm until they reach the lowest point. I'm going to guess, and Ernest seems to agree with me, that the storms when we got here were at their lowest point, so the water only rose a little bit. That's why last storms they rose so much. This storm they'll probably rise even more..."

"And you don't want to be in any lands lower than the tree." I realise, surprised by the danger we've suddenly found ourselves in.

"Exactly."

"Have you told Jack?"

"No, not yet." She shakes her head.

"You should."

"I know. But he was looking forwards to this hike so much..." She gazes at him, a half smile playing around her lips as she gazes at him.

"He won't be happy that you didn't inform him of danger though." I remind her.

"I know. I'll tell him when we stop again...oh look!" She gasps, her face lighting up in awe.

"What?" I look ahead as well as we break out of the trees and get faced with a large meadow, still sloping down hill, covered with lush green grass and millions of wild flowers. "It's beautiful!" I gasp, flooded with memories of other flower filled meadows of my younger years. "Come on!" I grasp her arm, catching a glimpse of her surprised face and Jack's amused one as I gallop past him, dragging her behind me and into the field of flowers.

~*~

Catherine! We should have come here before! It's beautiful. A field of flowers. Millions of flowers. Do you remember how you used to run in the fields and gather the flowers as though you were unable to keep still? And then you would...

The older woman rushes past me, dragging the younger one, Sam, behind her. Together they plunge into the flowers that have grown up their waists. Once amongst the ocean of reds, blues, yellows and purples the older woman lets go of Sam and starts scooping up arm fuls of flowers.

"I haven't done this in years!" She laughs, holding the multitude of colours against her while she continues to pick more. "Come on, Sam!" She laughs. Sam hesitates before scooping up flowers as well. I feel sorrow for her as her one arm dangles uselessly in it's sling, swaying as she jogs towards Catherine.

The older woman is a lot like you are, Catherine. Her eyes are lit up with the same joy and awe that yours contained when you were presented with flowers of any sort.

"Only women." Jack snorts next to me, also watching the women as they dash and play childishly amongst the blooms. The older woman's enthusiasm is catching, and Sam is now also smiling widely, her cheeks flushed with joy and pollen brushes on her clothes.

"They are creatures who appreciate beauty, O'Neill." Teal'c's voice sounds wistful as he gazes at the two woman laughing together, still gathering flowers.

"Yes." Jack smiles tightly, and I notice his eyes trained on Sam. The bond between them is strong, Catherine. Stronger than even ours, I think. He sees her beauty, and thinks we don't know that he sees it.

"And their joy makes them beautiful too." The Jaffa continues. I look at him. He yearns for a loved one.

"Yeah." Jack agrees and I look back at the women.

"It's magic!" The older woman laughs. Magic. The words she is using...the laughter...the movements...Catherine? Where are you?

My eyes are drawn to the older woman as she flings her flowers in the air, holding her arms outstretched and laughing as the colourful rain gently descends on her. The bright petals cling to her silvery hair, her eyes are bright in her rosy cheeks with excitement. She looks just like you, Catherine, just like a woodfairy dancing amongst the flowers.

"Come on." Jack sets off towards the flowers, but the women ignore him, once again picking flowers and laughing. The older woman looks up suddenly, and sees me. Her movements slow and cease as our eyes lock. Why, why does she remind me so much of you Catherine? Why am I so afraid of her? Why do I want to leave you Catherine, and love this woman standing with an open face watching me?

I stop in front of her and brush the petals from her hair, much like I used to do with you, Catherine. Why am I doing this? I frown in confusion, scared suddenly.

She hesitates also, swallowing. Then she smiles at me, Catherine, and she is you. She is Catherine for the brief second. I reach up again and touch her cheek with my roughened fingers. It's not soft, like I remember it. It's dry and the skin is wrinkled, marked by tiny little scars that never used to be there.

"Cath.."

"O'NEILL!" Teal'c's voice intrudes suddenly, and I find myself staring at the old woman, the shock in my own eyes clearly mirrored in hers. Hastily I pull away, and turn to look at what Teal'c yelled at.

~*~

She looked so beautiful. Here eyes were so bright, so happy. Happier than I'd seen her in a long time. Happier than I'd ever seen her. With the petals falling around the two of them, I could easily have believed Catherine's statement of 'It's Magic!', because it was.

I lost track of Teal'c, of Catherine, of Ernest. I lost track of time. I just stared at her, still smiling widely and gathering flowers in the sunlight, watching as the beams of light played around her golden hair, giving her an aura...

I didn't even realise I'd started walking towards her, or even spoken for that matter, until she looked up and met my eyes. She didn't look away as my traitorous feet carried me closer, and she didn't move when I stopped right in front of her, close enough to smell the singular scent that came off her skin.

"You got something in your hair." I whispered, not breaking the contact between our eyes as I reached up and brushed some of the flowers off, trailing my fingers down the smoothness of her silken skin and tracing the graceful line of her neck.

Her eyes regard me, not discouraging me or encouraging me either. She is so close, she is so beautiful and...

"O'NEILL!"

Thank God for Teal'c. What was I thinking? I wasn't, plain and simple. I'd been contemplating kissing Carter, and for crying out loud, she is my 2IC!!

"What?" I turn around and look at Teal'c who is pointing completely innocently towards something in the distance. Some big somethings that are eating grass.

"It's the animals!" Catherine calls, her voice sounding suspiciously tight and her lips compressed in a tight line. Ernest, also, looks a bit confused and wary now.

"I don't think we should go and just shoot one..." Carter stops me as my hand reaches for my gun.

"You don't?"

"No, Sir. If they're in a herd and they're spooked into the wrong direction then they could easily flatten us." She points out. "Besides, if they're not frightened of us then it would be easier to get some in the future."

Smart woman. Now you know why we keep her around.

"What do you suggest we do then?"

"I don't know." She looks slightly nonplussed for a minute, but I can see revelation dawning over her face. "If there was one off by itself..." She starts out.

"Single it out." I nod, understanding. "How?"

"Wait? Meander around a bit..." She glances up at me.

"Sounds good." I agree.

"Wait!" Catherine stops us again.

"What?"

"How are we going to get it up the hill?" She points out logically. I nearly groan in disappointment.

"Why do we not just prepare it here and find shelter amongst the trees..."

"No." Ernest shakes his head.

"No?" I bat an eyelid.

"The storms are coming. The water will rise higher." He says cryptically.

"What?"

"Sir..have you noticed how there seems to be layers carved into the landscape?"

"Layers?" What has layers got to do with anything? What are they talking about?

"Sir, according to Ernest the rain patterns here are strange. The waters flood each year, going higher and higher until they reach maximum height, and then they flood lower and lower until they reach minimum, and back up until they reach maximum again."

"So what's it doing now?" I *think* I understand that.

"Going up. According it takes about a hundred to a hundred and ten lots of storms to reach maximum and then roughly the same to reach minimum..."

"Just how high is maximum?" I feel really bad now.

"Just below the castle, Sir. I don't think it will reach the tree..."

"Captain Carter, did not the water rise a very large amount since the first time and the last storm?" Teal'c points out. Things are just getting better and better.

"Uh...Well, I'm going to hazard a guess that it rises and shrinks exponentially." She looks around at us, and having a captive audience she continues. "It would rise a lot quicker at the beginning because there is less surface area." I must look really confused because she sighs and tries again. "Imagine a cone Sir, or a pyramid shape upside down. When you pour water into it then the level rises quickly because the bottom of it hardly has any volume at all. However, the closer you get to the top, the more water you need to make it rise a lot because there is a bigger volume." She glances at me. I *think* I get it. "Okay. It's going to be like that on the planet Sir, because it's a sphere and the more layers you put on top, the bigger they are..."

"So you're saying that it's going to rise 'less' this time?" I check.

"Theoretically, and according to Ernest, yes. But not by much" She looks around.

"Okay. I *think* we'll leave the science stuff to you and just take your word for it." I'm quite happy to trust her, even if I don't understand because I know she understands.

"Why do we not attempt to capture a small animal and take it back with us?" Teal'c asks, looking quite taken with the prospect.

"I think we should leave it this time. We know where they graze now, and until we come up with a way that would probably not scare them all off for good, I don't think we should risk it." I say, slightly dejected. I was looking forwards to hunting...

"So which way now?" Catherine asks.

"We'll camp here and head back tomorrow if you're all so certain that the storms are going to come soon." I decide, glancing around at the agreement on their faces. I look up and notice that the sun is starting to set again. It's funny, but despite the warmth in the air, there is an underlying chill that really comes out at night.

"Are we using the tents?" Catherine asks.

"Yep." I nod. "You and Carter can share the big sleeping bag. Us boys will take the two little ones." I decide, rolling my eyes at the grins passing between Sam and Catherine. "Why do I feel like a teacher on a school camp?" I sigh. "If you two keep us awake with giggling *again* then I swear I will not let you guys alone together again."

~~~~~~~~~~

On to Part Four

sharim fic

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Disclaimer: Ice cream rocks. If you have a problem with it, you're weird. Oh, and there's no point in suing. Trust me on this. Oh yeah, only the fic idea is mine.