TITLE: Tau’ri Humour

CATEGORY: Humour.

SPOILERS: Sight Unseen mild one. Very very very small Promethus spoiler.

SUMMARY: A tag for Sight Unseen. The next morning.

A/N: Not beta’d. Again, pure silliness :-D

For yam.

******

One of Earth’s many cultural delights, Teal’c contemplated, was ice cream.

There were many different flavours of ice cream: Caramel, Pistachio, mint choc chip, cookies & cream, strawberry, chocolate... the list seemed endless. Teal’c had tried many of them, and he found he enjoyed most. However, none compared with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Digging his spoon into the cold, creamy depths of his bowl, he watched as the thick chocolate sauce - still hot - slowly draped over the cold substance. The milky white ice cream turned the colour of weak coffee, and Teal’c quickly raised the spoon to his mouth. He closed his eyes and savoured the flavour.

‘Heaven’? Indeed.

"You really do like ice cream, don’t you?" O’Neill’s voice was amused. Teal’c refrained from answering; there was still a trace of ice cream in his mouth. "Have you tried chocolate ice cream yet, Teal’c?"

"I have," Teal’c answered, opening his eyes with annoyance.

Did O’Neill not understand the importance of concentrating on one’s ice cream?

"And?"

"I find vanilla with chocolate sauce most satisfactory, O’Neill."

Seeming to be aware of Teal’c’s frustration, O’Neill wisely refrained from commenting again.

Another spoonful of ice cream. His symbiote was almost purring with satisfaction. It, too, enjoyed this delicacy.

A chair scraped rudely on the ground next to Teal’c. "Morning Teal’c." Jonas Quinn was exceptionally cheerful. "Ice cream for breadfast?"

"You partake in banana’s for the morning meal, Jonas Quinn," Teal’c pointed out.

"Don’t annoy a Jaffa when he’s busy with ice cream," O’Neill advised dryly.

Teal’c found the way O’Neill crunched his frootloops most distracting.

"Vanilla and chocolate?" Major Carter questioned. "Teal’c, there are other flavours, you know."

"I am aware of the fact, Major Carter."

"What are you having for breakfast, sweety?"

Teal’c frowned. Sweety? He opened one eye and raised his eyebrow in time to see O’Neill gape at Jonas. "Sweety?" the Colonel demanded. Major Carter cringed, blushing vividly.

"Yes. I’m just asking my wife what she’d like for brea-"

"Jonas!"

"Your *wife*?!!" Suddenly, the ice cream was not nearly as stimulating as the conversation. "Carter, is there something you’re not telling us?"

Another mouthful of ice cream.

"No, Sir, what Jonas means is-"

"Just *what* does Jonas mean?" O’Neill demanded, turning to the Kelownan. Teal’c felt a twinge of concern; O’Neill was furious.

Furious was not the correct word for O’Neill’s state, the Jaffa word would be more accurate, however, not as polite.

"I don’t understand why you’re so upset, Colonel," Jonas Quinn commented.

If Teal’c was inclined to smiling, he would be smiling now. This was almost more entertaining than Star Wars.

"You don’t understand?" O’Neill screeched. Most of the personnel were silent now, listening to the argument.

Another mouthful of ice cream.

"No!" Jonas Quinn argued.

No, Teal’c pondered, Jonas Quinn would not understand why O’Neill was so upset, because, as observant as the Kelownan was, he was yet to realise of the *feelings* that were between CO and 2IC of SG-1.

Obviously, he was about to get a hasy introduction.

"I can’t have two people who are involved on my team!"

"Involved with what?"

"Colonel!" Major Carter tried again. Teal’c was again amused by how red the Tau’ri could turn when they were embarrassed. "Colonel!"

"Involved in a relationship with one another!"

"But you and Major Carter are involved, aren’t you?"

Teal’c choked on his ice cream.

O’Neill’s face drained of colour. "You’re married to Carter, despite the fact that you think we’re *involved*?"

"We’re not married, Sir!" Major Carter said loudly.

"And you just sit there calmly and tell me- you’re not?"

"No, Sir."

"Oh."

"I was joking, Colonel," Jonas Quinn offered up hesitantly.

"That is the last time you experiment with Earth humour, Jonas!" O’Neill ordered, stepping away from the table.

An uneasy silence settled over them.

"Colonel?" Jonas Quinn questioned. Teal’c spooned another mouthful of ice cream into his mouth. Did Jonas Quinn not realise that O’Neill was dangerously close to killing him?

"What?"

"I should probably mention the, um, email I sent you then."

O’Neill’s eyes widened. "Which email, Jonas?"

"About the wedding-"

"Jonas!" Major Carter sighed with exasperation.

"I believe I also received that email, Jonas Quinn," Teal’c announced gleefully.

"I may have sent it to a few people," Jonas Quinn continued. "I thought it was funny."

"Not funny, Jonas." O’Neill closed his eyes. "I’m going to go... read the briefings or something," he muttered.

Major Carter stood up abruptly. "I’m...bye."

Teal’c looked at his ice cream. It was warm now, the chocolate sauce blended in with the creamy liquid. He was not fond of melted ice cream.

"They have an odd sense of humour, don’t they Teal’c?" Jonas Quinn sighed.

"Indeed."

***