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Title:
Somewhere Out There (0/12)
Author:
Lisa Yaeger
E-mail:
lisayaeger@hotmail.com
Rating:
PG (so far, if that changes, I'll post a new rating)
Category:
Angst, Romance
Pairings:
Sam/Jack
Content
Warnings: None that I can see yet...
Summary:
Sam and Jack try the relationship thing, but it's not going to be easy.
Season/sequel:
Set in season 6 after Paradise Lost
Spoilers:
100 Days, D&C (minor ones), The Entity, Abyss, Paradise Lost
Archive:
SJD, yes & whoever wants to- I'd be flattered!
Disclaimer:
All publicly recognizable characters and places are the
property
of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This
piece
of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary
purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.
Previously
unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are
copyrighted
to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or
dead,
is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Status:
Here's the thing with this fic- I've been thinking about it for months, but I
couldn't figure out how to start it until Paradise Lost came out. Even though I haven't seen it, it gave me
the kick in the pants I needed, and now my muse is back. Turns out she was vacationing in Hawaii with
someone else's muse... Anyway, I think
this could end up being pretty long and angsty, so stay with me, and don't be
afraid to tell me if you think I'm off track.
Author's
notes: Thanks for the constant support of some of my favorite authors and
fellow shippers- Emry, Jojo, Peter Pan, Moon, Sesa and Suz - for you know
what:) And to my husband who wants to
vote for my fic in the SJFA even though he really doesn't have a clue what that
means.
Feedback:
Greatly appreciated.
Date:
12-1-2003
Part 1
"Beautiful
night." His footsteps preceded his
words.
Her
eyes never left the sky, "It's nice to look up and know you're
here
and not somewhere out there."
His
eyes caressed the side of her face closest to him as the stars
twinkled
above. It was their first mission since
he had come back,
but it
had only taken a few hours for him to figure it out. At first,
he
thought it was him- just readjusting to his routine, to Earth. But
then he
would see her eyes linger on him longer than they used to.
Her
hand would fall on his arm more often as if to punctuate the
meaning
of whatever words she happened to be speaking.
She had even
suggested
they go out. To dinner. Just the two of them. That was
the
moment he knew. Something had happened
while he was gone.
Something
big. And she had changed because of
it. "You're
different."
"I
am?" She was delaying the
inevitable. A conversation that she
both
wanted and feared. She knew she was
different. She felt
different. More alive somehow. Or maybe just appreciating life in a
new
way. The sensation of being close to
him now felt...
extraordinary.
The feeling of knowing where he was. That had been the worst. Not really knowing where he was. At least the first time she had known he was
on Edora- not that that was good. But it was definable. A place on a map. A goal to strive for- somewhere to reach out to. Even with Kanan, they had been able to
narrow the search down considerably once given the past mission reports. The realization that he was with Ba'al even
now made her stomach churn, but it had been some*where* they could find. This had been different. So different. And things couldn't be the same again.
"You
know you are." His voice quieted
considerably although there
was no
need. No one was in earshot, and neither Jonas nor Teal'c would
care
even if they heard.
"Yeah,
I guess I am." She took in a deep
breath and braced herself
for the
word she knew would follow.
"Why?" He had been missing before. Nothing really
new about it. He
would
be the first to admit it was getting old, but hardly worth
mentioning
in the scheme of things.
"You
were gone..." She paused,
searching for the way to tell him
without
actually saying it, "again."
"And..."
"I
broke." Broke down, broke in two.
He came
to sit in front of her on the ground.
Facing her, he could
see a
calm in her features that he had never really noticed before.
That
was different, too.
"I
couldn't take it this time." That
was an understatement. She had
been
rude, brusque - mean, even - and inconsolable.
"Third's a charm,
maybe,
but I know how you hate clichés."
It took
him a minute to figure out what she meant: Edora, Ba'al and
now
this. The realization dawned in his
eyes and she continued.
"Things
were moving on. Hammond was talking about me maybe taking over SG-1. People were packing up, giving up, and I
just couldn't accept it." Her eyes
moved toward the stars again, searching for the words, "I know how you
must have felt."
The
entity. Watching the one person you
love probably more than
anything,
and certainly more than yourself, slipping away. Not knowing
how to
reach them. Seeing the end come closer
and not being able to
move
away. Feeling your own death come as
surely as theirs. And, god, the guilt.
"I
told myself that it was because I felt guilty.
For letting him
take my
weapon. But the truth is, I felt guilty
before. For not
reaching
you sooner on Edora, for not figuring out how to get into
Ba'al's
fortress." She focused on his face
again, memorizing each new
line in
earnest. "But it was more than
that."
His
stare met hers, willing her to continue.
"God,
Jack, what are we doing to each other?
To ourselves?" Her eyes
flickered
back and forth into his gaze. "We
keep pretending that we
feel
about each other the way we do about Teal'c or Jonas. And let me
tell
you, I sure as hell hope you don't feel the way about me that you
feel
about either one of them."
The corners
of his mouth turned upward at that, but he didn't want her
to lose
sight of what they really were doing, "We're saving the earth,
protecting
the-"
"Planet.
I know, I know. Honor and duty and
regulations."
"They're
important. To both of us." He wanted
to be sure she wasn't
reacting
out of some kind of emotional turmoil.
Something she would
surely
regret later. He wanted to see some
recognition that the
rational
side of her still existed and was in control.
"Yes
they are. But it occurred to me while
you were gone that maybe
saving
*my* world was just as important this time."
"What
do you mean?" He wanted to know,
but he didn't, too. He
half-wished
an army of Jaffa would emerge through the gate just to
delay
this conversation. But two years was
probably more than long
enough. Longer than it should have been.
"I'm
not exactly sure what I mean."
Quite an admission from either a
scientist
or a soldier. But from both - from her
- it was the
ultimate
confession.
They
looked upwards, searching the sky for something. A sign, maybe?
A
revelation? Or maybe just to enjoy the
quiet. The last few
moments
of the way things used to be before they became something else
entirely. Until one or both of them decided to change
things
irrevocably.
He found
his voice first and forced his eyes toward hers, "Teal'c told
me."
She
wasn't expecting that. Not that Teal'c
shouldn't have told, in
fact,
she suspected that he had. But just
that Jack would admit
knowing
it proved he had changed, too.
"I
was relieved."
Another
surprise. Her eyebrows raised to ask
the question that her
lips
couldn't say.
"I
guess I wasn't sure that you still..."
Oh. Still cared. "I do." More
than she should. More than ever.
More
than she was able to hide. More than
could be contained in one
person,
one body, one heart. One soul was
crying to reach out for its
mate,
and she was now helpless to stop it.
She didn't want to. Not
anymore.
"Yeah,
I got that." A little humor couldn't hurt here, could it?
Her
turn to smile a little.
"So,
you want to try this dinner thing?"
A date with Carter. Now
that
was definitely different.
"It
might be nice." Hope. The one thing she had never really lost.
"It
might mean a court martial." Reality.
He was grounded in the here
and now.
"It
might be worth it." Faith. A belief that *this* was more
important.
"It
might not." Fear. They could both
get hurt, or worse, hurt each
other.
"I'm
willing to take that risk." Courage. *They* were worth taking the
chance
for.
He
always thought he had been willing, too.
But he was afraid for
her. For her career. For what he couldn't offer her.
He was afraid
of the
look he might one day see in her eyes when she realized what
she
gave up to be with him. But maybe, just
maybe, it was their time. Their
place. If Hammond would give her SG-1,
he could give his old knee a rest... "So, where do you want to go to
eat?"
Part 2
A date.
Sam
Carter was going on a date. That in and
of itself was noteworthy.
But
that it was with Jack O'Neill was - well, remarkable.
With a
towel wrapped around her body, she sat on the edge of the bed staring into her
closet. What in the hell was she going
to wear?? Jeans? Maybe too casual. A dress? Too much. A skirt?
Too cold. Pants? He'd seen her in enough of those the past
six years. What was more than jeans but
less than a dress that made her look like a woman? Oh god! When did this get
to be so hard? Isn't this what girls
Cassie's age did?
Trading
the towel for her bathrobe, she decided to start with picking a top and work
her way down. Blue? Too obvious. Black? He'd seen her in
enough of that, too. Red? Too, well, red. Purple? Wait! Lilac- there it was. The perfect shirt- long sleeved, scoop neck
(but not too low) and form fitting. Not
tight, but not loose. Now what to wear
with it?? She remembered one of the
reasons she liked the military to begin with- you didn't have to worry about
what to wear every day.
Back to
the bottom half- what about a long skirt?
Dark gray and clingy but not so much that she couldn't walk. Warm enough, but still feminine. SHOES!!!
Black boots with a bit of a heel. Did it look like she was trying too
hard? Heaven help her hair dryer if she
was having a bad hair day. Shit! Was that a pimple on her chin? No, thank god. Just a bit of ketchup from the fries she and Janet had shared at
lunch. At the mall. She couldn't remember the last time she had
gone to the mall when it wasn't Christmas Eve.
But she needed new underwear, which had nothing whatsoever to do with
her date tonight. And Janet was happy
to go with, not believing for a second that the nice new lacey thong would be
put in the drawer without a test run.
Five
minutes left and she still had her makeup to do. That shouldn't take long, right?
Foundation here, blush there.
Eyeliner- check. Lipstick-
check. Mascara- right eye. Left eye- doorbell! Damn!
Stupid wand missed the bottom lashes and went right for the white of her
eye. Which was causing her eyes to
tear. Which made her look like she had
a black eye. And he was waiting. Plucking a tissue out of the box, she dabbed
it under each eye trying to catch the black marks before they ran down her
cheeks. The bell rang again. Dammit!!
She raced to the living room, catching her hose on something and she
felt the run go up her leg. This was SO
not good. Looking like she had been
crying and hobbling slightly as the cold floor contacted with the skin
underneath the run, she opened the door to see her date staring in confusion at
the sight before him. Her date. Jack.
Oh god.
She
waved him in and before he could comment, "Don't ask."
"I'm
not stupid- I was married, you know."
He sat on the couch as she returned to the bathroom to fix the damage to
her eyes.
"It's
your fault."
"How's
that?"
"You
were early."
"By
like a *minute*."
"I
needed that minute."
"No
you didn't. You look great."
She
couldn't help but smile at that in spite of the image reflected in the
mirror. "I have to change."
"Why?"
"I
thought you knew better than to ask."
"Right."
He
waited as patiently as he could- flipping through catalogs and magazines and
finally finding a fishing show on TV.
She emerged no less than 15 minutes later in fitted black jeans and an
emerald green blouse. The mascara had
run onto the lilac one, and she had been back to square one. The only thing that still worked were the
boots. And the underwear. She vowed never to tell Janet. She was more exhausted than if she had been
in battle against all the System Lords put together. This dating stuff was hard work- and they hadn't even left the
house yet.
By the
grace of some non-false god, the date got considerably easier as the night
progressed. Dinner was good - the
conversation more funny than anything else.
If she hadn't know it was a "date" she could have just as
easily thought it was nothing more than two friends, co-workers even, going out
to dinner. Friendly, easy,
relaxed. And then he pulled up into her
drive. What the hell was she supposed
to say? "Do you want to come
in?" Guess that covered it.
"Sure. But only if you let me make the
coffee." Humor. Thank god.
Two-and-a-half
pots later, they had covered everything from religion to politics to family
relations and were still laughing. And
then she yawned. He took the cue,
"I think I'd better let you get to bed."
"How
can you be so awake? It's pretty late,
and don't even try to tell me you slept well on that last mission. The bugs were biting like crazy, and all I
wanted to do was scratch-"
"Now
you sound like Teal'c." His coat
was on and he was half-way to the door.
She was
only a step behind and was too aware of her increasing heartbeat. Would he kiss her? Should she say something about a second date? God, how long had it been since she had done
this? Did it ever get any easier?
"So..."
"I'm
really glad we did this."
"Yeah,
me too." He took his keys out of
his pocket, and turned to face her as he reached the doorway.
"Maybe
we could do it again?"
"I
don't think we should."
"Oh." No, her heart wasn't breaking. Oh wait.
Yes, it was.
Seeing
the crestfallen look on her face, her realized he had only said half of what he
was thinking and tried to back peddle, "I meant I don't think we should
until we talk to Hammond."
"Oh." Heart mending itself.
"I'd
like to do this again - really."
She
smiled at that, her heart repaired. And
then the awkwardness returned. To kiss
or not to kiss?
"Well..."
Another
yawn. Dammit!
A
chuckle. "I won't take that
personally."
A
blush. "Sorry."
A move
toward her, "Don't be."
Leaning
in.
Lips
parting.
Heads
titling.
Kissing.
This
reality Sam kissing this reality Jack without the influence of an alien device,
or while trapped in a time loop, without stamped memories. Wow!
"Wow."
Another
chuckle, "That, I'll take personally."
He
turned toward the door, turned the knob and was outside before she could come
up with anything else to say except, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Part 3
0630-
not an hour that he was usually at work for unless he happened
to
still be there from the night before.
That seemed to happen less
and
less as the years went on; maybe it was that he trusted his teams
more,
or maybe it was just that he needed more sleep. He was getting
tired
more easily these days, and god knew he had more than earned a
retirement. But the war raged on, and a pivotal time was
upon them.
He
couldn't give up now. Making his way to
the commissary for a cup
of
coffee, he was more than surprised to see his 2IC walking toward
him. Now there was a man who rarely made it in
this early. It was
either
very good or very bad, and studying the look on his face,
George
couldn't actually tell, "Colonel."
"General."
"Are
you on your way to see me?"
"Yes,
Sir, if you have a minute."
"Only
if you join me for a cup of coffee."
"I
think this conversation should happen in private, Sir."
Okay,
so cross off 'very good' from the list.
Turning back toward his
office,
General Hammond sighed- he really should have slept in.
Once
seated opposite each other, Jack drew a strained breath and
began,
"General, I'd like to start off the record, if I may."
"All
right. We can start there."
"As
you may have suspected for awhile, my feelings for... a certain
co-worker
may border on less-than-strictly-professional." He glanced
up
briefly through scrunched eyebrows to see the reaction of his CO.
He was
speechless. Nothing showed on his face
because his body wasn't
quite
registering the conversation yet. USAF
training really didn't
cover
how to handle this, he thought wryly.
"Last
night, that certain someone and I may have decided that we would
like to
pursue... something, sometime, and I thought it best to talk
to you
first, Sir."
Oh
god. What the hell was he supposed to
do now? Break-up his best
team? Court martial one or both of them? And for what? Discussing
the
future? Was that actually against the
regs? Where in the hell
was
that damn book anyway? Damn!
"In
light of the fact that Major Carter would be given command of
SG-1, I
would like to retire...again."
He sat
perfectly still. Hands still
folded. Breathing still
deliberately
measured. His brain working faster than
it had in
awhile.
He briefly wondered if this was what it was like to be Carter.
And then he found it- a loophole in Jack's
thinking, "No."
"No?" He straightened up and took a breath,
"Sir, with all due
respect,
I've done more than my share for the country and the world.
I'm
entitled to a little peace and quiet-"
"You
can retire if you like, Colonel, but Major Carter's not getting
SG-1."
That he
had not been expecting.
"Sir?"
"This
is all still off the record, Jack. Sam
was considered for the
command
of SG-1 but there are forces that even I can't control, and
several
people that frequently visit a white house that we all know
and
love feel that she doesn't have enough experience yet. They would
like to
see her promoted once more before assuming command."
"So
promote her then. She deserves it, you
know that."
"It's
barely been three years since her last one, and you know if it
happens
too quickly, they'll say she's.. well, you know what they'll
say. Let's face it, things are still unfair for
women in the military
just
like anywhere else."
Sleeping
her way to the top. Nothing could be further
from the truth.
But if he retired and they started seeing
each other on top of her
getting
promoted, it would be hell for her. He
couldn't do that, and
he
couldn't retire and leave the flagship team to anyone else. This
*really*
wasn't working out.
"Look
son, I can pretend that we never had this talk. It's really
nothing
I didn't know anyway. But if you and...
that certain someone
are
really planning for the future, then I think we all know the
composition
of SG-1 will have to change eventually."
Confused,
angry, bitter- he couldn't even name all of the emotions he
was
currently feeling let alone act on any of them. So he just sat
there,
staring blankly at the wall.
"I
really am sorry, Jack. I can't imagine
how hard this is on both of
you."
"Thank
you, Sir. We'll work it out." And with that he left just as
quickly
as he had come.
Hammond
stood up to get the cup of coffee he needed even more than
before. Yep, definitely should have slept in.
*****
The
walk to Sam's lab was quicker than he would have liked. He
honestly
didn't know what to say to her. He knew
she wanted SG-1 some
day,
and he really thought he could retire and give it to her. It
seemed
the perfect answer. But, if he was
honest with himself, he
felt more
than a little relieved when he realized the plan wasn't
going
to work. There was a big part of him
that wasn't ready to give
up
command yet. But god, now what would
they do? He found Sam's lab
empty
and was spared the discussion for the moment.
*****
Returning
from the commissary, he was not entirely surprised to find
her
sitting in the same seat Jack had occupied only moments before,
"Major."
Rising
she seemed startled, "General."
He made
his was around the desk and seated himself, bracing for
whatever
bombshell she was going to drop.
"I
hope you have a few minutes for me, Sir."
"Of
course." He took a sip- not nearly
strong enough.
"Sir,
I would like to request a reassignment."
This
was *so* not funny.
"I
know it's sudden and may seem unexpected, but the truth is, I've
been
thinking about it for quite awhile, and well... recent events
have
caused me to rethink my position here at the SGC."
She
couldn't have already talked to Jack.
There hadn't been enough
time. She was doing this without him even knowing,
and now George
knew
that Jack had been doing the same thing without her knowing, too.
"I
would like to be reassigned to a science team, Sir, and remove
myself
from SG-1."
"Why
is that, Major?" Maybe there was a
good reason, one that he
could
actually buy, and more importantly, give to anyone who asked.
"Well,
it's just that I feel like I'm not as involved with the science
aspect
of things as I would like. I think I
could be more valuable to
the SGC
if I could devote myself full-time to studying and analyzing
the
technology that comes back through the gate."
"But
you already do that-"
"Sometimes
I have time and sometimes I don't. It's
a change I really
want to
make, Sir.' She paused, wondering how
much she should give
away,
and decided to go for broke, "I'm 35, General, and to be honest,
I would
like to think about a future- a family.
Having a 'normal'
life. Going through the gate on combat missions
isn't exactly
conducive
to that."
True
enough, but if she suspected that he knew it was more that that,
she
wasn't letting on, and so neither would he.
"Are you sure about
this?"
"Yes,
Sir."
"Once
I make the arrangements, it would be very hard to undo-"
"I'm
positive, Sir. I won't change my
mind."
"Very
well." He pulled a form out of his
desk and started writing,
"I'll
start the paperwork today."
"Thank
you, Sir." She stood to leave.
But he
wasn't done with her yet, "Oh, and Major?"
"Yes,
Sir?"
"Will
you please tell Colonel O'Neill that he needs to find a new
2IC?"
"I'll
do that General."
"Tell
him I don't care if it's a scientist or not, but it had better
damn
well not be a woman."
She
turned five shades of crimson before making it out into the
hallway. He knew all along. Of course - he hadn't made general for
nothing.
Part 4
He was
plagued by indecision. Two sides of his
brain were at war with
each
other as the water from the shower beat hot and hard onto his
chest. On the one hand, he was thrilled, elated -
overjoyed, even -
at the thought
of a night out with her. Their second
date. Nothing
short
of a miracle considering all they had been through in the past
few
years. That they were still alive was
worth celebrating on a
daily
basis. That their feelings for one
another had survived, and
had
actually grown stronger, astounded him.
His
thoughts raged on as he turned to let the water massage his back.
He
couldn't help the sinking feeling that she had given up too much
to be
with him. That he had been willing to
give it all up, too,
seemed
less important. He was close to the end
of his career; she was
just
getting started. He felt guilt in equal
measure with affection
that
she thought he was worth it. Worth the
sacrifice, worth the
effort,
worth the risk. Maybe Daniel had been
right- maybe, just
maybe,
he was a better man than he thought he was.
Stepping
out onto the bath mat, he caught a glimpse of his reflection
in the
slightly fogged mirror. He saw a man with so much darkness in
his
eyes that he wondered how her light could have possibly found its
way so
deep inside of him. But it had, and
that's when he caught the
sight
of a smile on his own face. The likes
of which he hadn't seen
for so
many years. Older now, more gray for
sure, a few more
wrinkles,
but still a man in love.
If he
didn't hurry, he was going to be late, and although he didn't
want to
be early- he remembered his entrance on their first date too
clearly
still- he certainly didn't want to have to explain that he
couldn't
decide what to wear. Imagine if that
excuse ever got
circulated
among gossip-central on base. Colonel
Jack O'Neill was
late
for his date with *the* Sam Carter because he couldn't decide
between
a sweater or a button-up shirt. He
really needed a woman's
opinion
which was quite frightening considering the only woman whose
opinion
he was interested in was the one person he wouldn't dare call.
Unless,
there was one other woman that might help him out. She'd
never
let him forget it, of course, but...
He
dialed up the base, "O'Neill for Dr. Fraiser." She'd understand,
right? And there was that whole doctor-patient
confidentiality thing,
so it's
not like she could tell Sam. Right?
"Dr.
Fraiser."
"Doc."
"Colonel? Aren't you supposed to be..."
"Ah,
yeah, yeah, but I'm having a bit of a problem, and I thought
maybe
you could-"
"What
are your symptoms?"
"No,
no, nothing like that, it's just that-"
"Colonel,
I hate to seem rude, but I've got a lot of patients here.
SG-5
just came back with some kind of-"
"Okay,
I'll make it quick if you can make it confidential."
"Sir,
you know all of our conversations are confidential."
"Right. Good." Deep breath, okay, he could do
this.
"Colonel,
please!"
"Alright
already. What the hell should I
wear?"
Thank
god for several years of Air Force training and medical school
combined
or she surely would have burst out laughing.
As it was she
couldn't
help her eyes doubling in size and the corners of her mouth
turning
up. He was asking for advice on what to
wear. My god, he was
completely
head over heels, wasn't he?
"Doc?"
"Sorry. A nurse needed my signature." Right.
"Where are you going?"
She
could do this.
"Dinner
and a movie."
Why did
that sound so sweet coming from him?
The hard-assed 2IC of
the world's
most secret facility was going out to dinner and a movie
like he
was in high school. "How about
jeans and a shirt?" She
really
wished Sam had been more open about her feelings where her
former
CO's body was concerned. That would
make this much easier. As
it was,
she only had the whisperings of her nurses to go on, and her
own
opinion of course, which may not be that far from Sam's.
"You
don't think that's too casual?"
"She
sees you in BDU's every day. Anything
is better than that."
"Uh
huh." He didn't sound convinced.
She
really had to get back to work, so she decided straight-forward
honesty
would be the best approach with him, "If the gossip that goes
around
the nurses is any indication, I would stick with something you
feel
comfortable in and that's..." Ok,
this was harder to say, but
they
were her friends after all, "fitted."
"Fitted?"
"You
know, not too loose."
"You
mean tight?"
"No,
not tight. Just not loose."
"Huh?"
"Look,
Colonel, I've really got to go. Good
luck."
He hung
up more confused than when he started.
And now he was
officially
late.
He
showed up 7 minutes beyond the arranged time and was slightly
flustered. He had gone with khaki pants and a navy blue
sweater.
Going
through his closet made him aware that most of the things he had
bought
recently either seemed to be yellow or blue.
Coincidence, he
was
sure.
Walking
up to her door, he couldn't help but notice that he felt more
nervous
than the first time. Maybe because this
was actually for
real. There weren't any barriers other than the
ones they had
created. The walls could come down, and he started to
realize he was
terrified
of the depth of his feelings for her.
Resolving himself to
not
screw this up, he knocked on the door and waited.
He
needn't have worried. Their second date
was more relaxed than the
first. Dinner was fun, although he found himself
much too aware of
the
several other men who didn't mind taking notice of his date. His
*date*. That still felt weird. So, in part because he'd wanted to
every
time he'd seen a movie since he had met her, and in part because
they
were some of the only seats left, he pulled her into the far back
corner
of the last row of seats in the theatre.
They had made it just
in time
to see a few trailers, and once they were settled with the
popcorn
on her lap ("I don't trust you not to eat it all") and the
candy
in his ("I know your sweet tooth"), they started to watch the
movie. Which was a mistake. So very bad. It was about 20 minutes in
that she
had to lean over to him and ask, "Is this is bad as I think
it
is?"
"Worse."
"The
popcorn's gone."
"So
are the Milk Duds."
"So,
I guess that only leaves-"
Her
words were cut off by the invasion of his tongue into her mouth.
Salt
and sugar mixed together in an entirely clichéd setting, loud
action
music blaring. Neither one caring.
The
drive back to her house was a combination of fast spurts to the
next
red light where they would make out for a few seconds. Thank god
he had
a truck with bench seating. He was
never buying a car again.
Once he
pulled into the driveway, the reality hit him fast and hard.
He was
either going in and they were going to - well, do *that* - or he
was
going home and taking a very cold shower.
Very, very cold. And
long.
Apparently
she wasn't stopping to think. Her door swung open as soon
as he
turned off the ignition. She was
half-way to the door when she
realized
he hadn't moved. She turned around and
slowly walked back to
her
side and got in, "What is it?"
"I
don't know." He could barely look
at her, his fingers playing with
the
keys in his hands.
She
reached over and put her hand on his thigh, "If you don't want-"
"Oh,
no. I want, I want. It's just that..."
"Six
years isn't enough foreplay for you?"
He
could hear the smile even if he didn't dare turn his head to see
it,
"Suppose it's not what we think it's going to be. I mean, maybe I
won't
be what you-"
"Maybe
I won't be what you-"
"That's
impossible."
She
chuckled, "How do you know that?"
"I
just know."
"So
do I."
His
gaze met hers. Understanding, longing,
and fear all tangled in
their
web of trust and need. And now love. Or
at least the imminent
physical
expression of it, even if the word hadn't been spoken yet.
He took
her hand in his and pulled her to him for a last kiss
before
they made their way out of the truck and into her house.
Less
frenzied than the hours before, the night passed in slow
movements,
each more meaningful and confident than the last. Nervous
giggles
turned into throaty chuckles. Tightly
closed eyes began
peering
open for glimpses of their new lovers.
Smells both new and
familiar
filled the air. Moans and cries and
whimpers broke the
rhythm
of heavy breathing. Until, at last, the
room was filled with
nothing
but soft kisses and caresses that lingered into the morning
light.
Part 5
Title:
Somewhere Out There (5/?)
Author:
Lisa Yaeger
E-mail:
lisayaeger@hotmail.com
Rating:
PG-13
Category:
Angst, Romance
Pairings:
Sam/Jack, Sara/Jack
Content
Warnings: Minor language, implied sexual situations
Summary:
Sam and Jack try the relationship thing, but it's not going
to be
easy.
Season/sequel:
Set in season 6 after Paradise Lost
Spoilers:
100 Days, D&C (minor ones), The Entity, Abyss, Paradise Lost
Archive:
SJD, yes & whoever wants to- I'd be flattered!
Disclaimer:
All publicly recognizable characters and places are the
property
of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This
piece
of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary
purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.
Previously
unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are
copyrighted
to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or
dead,
is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Status:
Here's the thing with this fic- I've been thinking about it
for
months, but I couldn't figure out how to start it until Paradise
Lost
came out. Even though I haven't seen
it, it gave me the kick in
the
pants I needed, and now my muse is back.
Turns out she was
vacationing
in Hawaii with someone else's muse...
Anyway, I think
this
could end up being pretty long and angsty, so stay with me, and
don't
be afraid to tell me if you think I'm off track.
Author's
notes: I decided to post this part with a new set of
spoilers,
ratings, etc... as the fic is changing a bit.
This will seem a bit soap-operaish, but I'm going somewhere with
it. Trust me.
Feedback:
Greatly appreciated.
Date: 26-1-2003
*****
She
couldn't have imagined how she would feel the first time SG-1
stepped
through the Stargate without her. She
hadn't been able to
talk to
him for three days after the first mission she wasn't on. She
didn't
blame him exactly, but she wasn't quite sure how to reconcile
her
feelings of joy - at being with him when he was on Earth, and
emptiness
- at staying behind while he, and Teal'c and Jonas and
Captain
Williams, her replacement, went off-world.
The consolation
being,
of course, that when he came back after the second mission and
the
next and the next, she was there, waiting, and then they went home
together.
As the
weeks went by, she was able to trick her mind while he was
gone;
she played games with herself while she waited for his return.
How
many pieces of technology could she figure out before he came
back?
How many devices could she backwards engineer before he left
again? How many articles could she draft? That she had chosen this
new
path made it easier to swallow in some respects and harder in
others. But for better or for worse, she was
sticking with it. And
as
weeks turned into months, she was actually the happier for it. She
was
never *not* going to miss gate travel, but she was also not willing
to give
up the life she had found with Jack. As
compromises went,
this
was apparently as good as it was going to get for Sam Carter.
They
were more or less living together at her place when he was on
Earth. Even though his place was bigger, she
reasoned that since she
was
actually at home more often than he was, it didn't make sense for
her to
move her stuff around. He felt like she
had given up enough
already,
and it didn't really matter to him.
Although, as an escape,
some
nights he went back to his house to look up at the stars through
his
telescope. Escaping what, exactly, he
wasn't sure. He only knew
that
although he was happier than he had been in a long time, happier
than he
had ever been in so many ways, that it had come at a cost. To
her,
certainly, but to him as well, and that's what he hadn't
expected. He knew finding a new 2IC would be hard, and
Capt. Williams
fit the
bill as well as the next guy ever would, but it was her
presence
and not her skills that he missed the most.
The kinds of
things
that never made it into the mission reports.
The kinds of
things
that were indescribably and absolutely unique to her. He
missed
her at work, that much was certain, and if the flip-side to
that
was that she was with him at home, then it was a trade worth
making. He knew she felt the same way, but as with
all things, he
knew
there was a price for every gain.
Deciding
he had ruminated long enough on their situation, he started
the
climb down from the viewing platform.
Reaching the bottom, he
heard a
familiar voice call, "Jack?"
Half in
disbelief and half in astonishment, he turned to see his
surprise
guest, "Sara?"
"Of
course it's me. Have a lot of women
calling your name in the
middle
of the night, do you?"
"No,
no. It's just that, uh..."
"I
was the last person you were expecting?"
"Something
like that, yeah."
"Can
we go inside? It's getting kind of cold
out here."
"Sure." He led the way around to the front door,
realizing that he
hadn't
even been inside yet. He had just
driven over from Sam's and
gone
straight for the telescope. He opened
the door and flipped on a
few
lights as she followed behind. His nose
was immediately drawn to
a
foul-smelling odor coming from the kitchen, "Sorry for the mess.
I've
been out of town for awhile." It
was true - he had been out of
town
last week, but he had been at Sam's for a few days and hadn't
even
bothered to take out the trash, which he guessed was the reason
for the
offensive smell.
"I
guess so. God, take that out before I
get sick would you?"
A
hundred different memories must have hit them both at the same
moment. Their eyes locked. How many times in their twelve-year
marriage
had she told him to take out the trash?
He just nodded and
completed
the task quickly. Returning to the
living room, he had to
ask the
obvious, "What are you doing
here? Not that it isn't nice to
see
you, it's just that..."
"Save
the pleasantries, Jack. I'll get right
to the point."
She was
wringing her hands. She seemed nervous
and distracted, and it
unnerved
him to see her like that, in his house, after they hadn't
even
been in the same room for over five years.
"I
got some rather odd news last week, and I thought I should come and
tell
you in person rather than letting you hear it from your lawyer."
Lawyer? Hell, he hadn't checked his mail or his
messages at home for
nearly
ten days. What was going on??
"Do
you remember when I filed for divorce?"
"Vaguely." Sarcasm was still his best defense.
"Apparently,
there were some papers that got misfiled and were never
signed
by the right people."
His
confused look said it all, "Huh?"
"As
strange as this is, Jack, I'm telling you that we are still
officially
married."
Again,
"Huh?"
"I
know, I know." She got up from the
chair and started pacing.
"It's
so odd to think that we're still - you know - but maybe it's
some
kind of sign. I know you don't believe
in fate. Truth be told,
I'm not
sure I do anymore either, but this...
This makes me think
that
maybe there's a chance that we... well, that we could still be
-us." She stopped walking and stared straight into
his eyes.
"Sara-"
"It's
strange and weird, and I don't expect an answer now. I just
want
you to think about it, that's all."
She stepped over to where
he
still sat and kneeled in front of him.
"I never really have gotten
over
you, Jack. That must seem pathetic and
ridiculous after all of
these
years that we haven't even called each other.
But I never
stopped
feeling like your wife. I never stopped
wanting you to be my
husband. I just wanted the pain to stop. And somewhere along the
line it
did. All I'm asking is that you give us
this chance." She
stopped
talking long enough to take his face into her hands. "Charlie
would
want us to be happy." She leaned
forward just slightly to kiss
his lips.
Without
even thinking, he responded to her touch.
It was an automatic
reaction
to the woman he had loved for so many years- both before and
after
their marriage. Or what he thought was
the end of the marriage.
He pulled back as the reality of her words
hit him. "Sara, so much
has
happened. We're both different
people. We've had different
experiences."
"We'll
have a lot of catching up to do, I know.
But we'll be in it
together. Again."
She
pulled him into her arms as he sat numbly complying with her
touch. So completely enveloped by her embrace, he
never heard Sam's
footsteps
walking away from his open door or her car pull away down
the
street.
*****
Five
minutes, or maybe five hours, passed when the phone rang. He was
sitting
in the same chair as where Sara had held him - willing him to
understand
what she was trying to say to him. She
had left after he
said he
needed time to think. That was an
understatement. The
ringing
of the phone didn't stop, and he guessed the answering machine
must
have been full since it didn't pick up after the fifth ring.
Grabbing
the receiver he could barely speak, "O'Neill."
"Hi."
Shit. He was supposed to have called her about
when he was coming
back. "Hey."
"It's
kind of late, and I'm already in bed, so I thought maybe we
could
just see each other later."
Thank
god. He really needed to clear his head
before he could see her
and
explain. "Sure."
"Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"I
think we need to talk tomorrow."
"Okay." How in the hell could this day get any
worse?
*****
She put
the phone back in the cradle. Nothing
on this earth or any
other
had prepared her for the sight she walked in on at his house.
She was
so very grateful that she had worn tennis shoes, and they
hadn't
heard her footsteps. She wasn't trying
to sneak up on him- she
was
just being cautious because the door was open.
Something she
couldn't
imagine him doing. And then she saw
them, and it hit her
that he
hadn't left the door open. Sara
had. Sara. His wife. His
ex-wife. No, still his wife. Sara O'Neill. Well, that about
covered
it, didn't it? Her words kept echoing
in her ears, 'Charlie
would
want us to be happy.' How could she
deny him a chance at
happiness
with the woman he was still married to?
The mother of his
child. The woman whose name he called when he was
certain he was
going
to freeze to death. The woman whose
love carried him through
one of
the most horrible times in his life.
His wife. Sara.
*****
He
wasn't under any illusion that he was actually going to be able to
sleep,
but the right thing to do was at least lie in bed and rest his
body. How in the world was it actually
possible? He was still
married. Had never been divorced. That he had 'cheated' on Sara
seemed
ridiculous- they hadn't spoken since the incident with the
'other'
him and Charlie. Charlie. She had said that he would want
this
for them. Would he? And what about Sam? Things hadn't been
easy in
the beginning, and it hadn't even been that long since they
had
started seeing each other. It was so
new and fragile. How in the
world
would he tell her this news? That he
was still someone's
husband? That he had a wife. His wife.
Sara.
Part 6
Fight
or flight. That's what it really came
down to. She was either willing to stand
up and fight for a future that she couldn't know or run away. And if she ran from him, she knew he would
most likely go to Sara. Of course, that
could happen anyway. Her heart and her
brain were at war- nothing new there- but this time it was different. There was someone else involved. Someone who had already suffered so much,
lost so much. How in the world could she take Jack away from his wife? The woman who had given him a son, with whom
he had shared so many years of his life.
Was she
a coward? Maybe. But she couldn't, no *wouldn't*, try to hold
him to her because they had shared a few weeks of sex. She wouldn't tell him what she saw at his
house. She would just let him go. Back to his wife. To start again. It was
obviously what Sara wanted, and however painful it was to admit, Jack hadn't
pulled away from her touch. Hadn't even
mentioned that there was someone else.
That had hurt. A lot. But that pain made her decision a little
easier in the cold light of day.
She
picked up the phone, asked him to come over, and waited.
*****
The
ride over to her house seemed like an eternity. What do you say to someone that you've loved to varying degrees
over the past few years that your ex-wife is really still your wife? He knew that Sam was logical enough to see
the reality that a piece of paper just hadn't been signed, had been
misfiled. But he wasn't blind enough
not to have noticed the feelings rushing back to him when Sara kissed him. Held him.
It had felt like going home- bittersweet for sure, but comfortable and
warm. She had always been so loving and
understanding. Not that Sam
wasn't. In fact, she understood so much
more of his life, of what made him the man that he was, but.... She kept a part of herself closed off from him. Probably from everyone, he guessed. She was even more private and guarded than
him, and that he was less so was probably due in part to the love Sara had
given him over the years. He owed her
so much. But a second chance at their
marriage? At the expense of this
*thing* he and Sam had just been given a chance at? He knew she would read him at least well enough to see that he
had feelings for Sara still. God, he
didn't want to hurt either one of them, but the truth was, he didn't know how
not to do that. And he didn't even know
what he wanted. Yeah, he did. He wanted them both.
*****
She
answered the door with determination and fear.
Fear that he would see through her and somehow know that she was letting
him go to Sara. But, as always, stubborn
pride in Sam Carter was stronger than anything, and if she sensed his
nervousness as he walked into her home, she brushed it aside. Nothing would stop her from doing what was
best for all of them, "We need to talk."
"Yeah,
we do. Look, something strange happened
to me last night, and I-"
"I
don't think we should see each other anymore." Her eyes looked straight into his. She could do this.
His
tired eyes, looked back into hers and saw nothing. No sadness, no regret, no emotion whatsoever. She could have just told him what the lunch
specials were in the commissary. He was
speechless.
Her
voice filled in the void, "I guess after all of the years we spent
wondering what it would be like, now we know." She was going to give him an easy out. A way to keep his pride and run back to his wife, and no one
would ever know the truth. Except the
one person telling the lie.
"I
don't understand." He really
didn't. He had come over with a very
different conversation playing in his mind.
"I
think it's obvious to both of us that I'm still having issues with having given
up my position on SG-1, and well, to be honest, this just isn't what I had
hoped it would be."
"I
thought you were enjoying your new position-"
"I
think we both know it isn't what I really love." That much was true, and
the reality of the words made her realize just how much she had given up to be
with the man she loved. The man she
thought loved her back. The man who
still loved someone else.
"I'm
sorry you feel that way, if I would have known..."
"There
weren't a whole lot of ways for this to end, Jack. I'm glad we had the chance to try, and now, it's over." She could feel the back of her throat start
to tighten.
"I
don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting this." His mind was racing with the implications of
her words. No more Sam. It had been hard enough to give up Major
Carter, but to give up Sam, too? It was
unbelievable that the woman who had occupied most of his thoughts for the past
six years was no longer a part of his life.
Any part of his life. The loss
was comparable only to a day he didn't let himself think about. But he couldn't deny the growing feeling of
loss that reminded him so much of how he had felt as they rushed to the
hospital that day.
"I'm
sorry if I surprised you. I just think
it's best to end it sooner rather than later." When it would be impossible
to continue living without him. It
might even have already been too late, but it was the best she could do.
"So,
what now?"
"Now,
I try to fix what I've done to my career, and you do whatever you need to
do."
"Sam,
I care about you. I hope you know that
I never meant to damage-"
"Don't
worry, Colonel, I would never hold you responsible for this."
She
hadn't called him Colonel off base in a month.
The effect was immediate. She
was dismissing him. From the room. From her life. It was unreal. All of the
things he had been afraid of in the beginning- all of the reasons he had given
for not wanting to change the way things used to be - they had all come
true. She had given up too much to be
with someone like him. And now she
wanted a chance to get it back. He
couldn't, no *wouldn't*, stand in her way.
Maybe this was all meant to happen.
Sara coming back, Sam breaking it off.
Maybe this was right. Then why
did it feel so very, very wrong?
Part 7
It had
been so easy. He had walked up the
front steps, through the door, into the house, and up to her bedroom. Making love to his wife had been everything he
remembered, and yet nothing was the same.
She had been so warm and willing.
As if the past 7 years hadn't actually happened. As if their son hadn't died, their marriage
hadn't dissolved. As if he hadn't seen
and heard things she couldn't begin to imagine. Including loving someone else.
At that thought, he tightened his arms around the only woman he was
going to let himself love from that day forward. He was going to give her, and their marriage, the chance they
deserved. Resolve swept through him as
he began to kiss her neck and then her shoulder, determined to show her, and
himself, the love he knew he could feel again for his wife.
Sara
woke first the next morning, an event she could recall happening exactly once
during their twelve years of marriage- the morning after Charlie died. She studied his face as she remembered
having done that time, too, and saw some of the same lines of grief and pain
etched into his slightly older skin.
She wondered what he saw when he looked at her now- someone a little
older for sure. Maybe someone a little
more tired and a little less enthusiastic about things, but more or less, still
the same person. So why did she feel
she was looking at a total stranger?
He was
aware of her eyes studying his face as he focused his gaze in the late morning
light, "Hey." He tried to
turn his face away from her study of him, but her hands reached up to hold his
eyes to hers.
"What
is it?" Her eyes darted back and
forth between his and his lips as if willing them to speak a truth she could
already feel. Had felt from the moment
he walked into her house and kissed her.
Held her. Made love to her. But not really to her. His body had been there, but his heart was
noticeably absent.
"What's
what?" Classic Jack O'Neill. Feign confusion. Delay the conversation. Pretend emotions aren't there.
"Last
night was different."
"Last
night or this morning?" He brought
his hands to circle her wrists which were still holding his head. He smiled and brought the palm of one of her
hands to his lips and made the motions of turning the moment into something
more intimate.
She
pulled her hands away, determination replacing a flickering look of pain and
anger, "Not this time."
He knew
what she meant. Hell, he should have
known she'd see right through him.
After all of these years she could still read him better than anyone.
Well, almost anyone. "I'm
sorry." He sighed and relaxed his
body back into the bed.
"For
what?"
"For
a lot of things, I guess, but mostly for-"
"Using
me?" The pain and anger flashed
through again, and this time he didn't miss it.
"You're
the one that wanted to try again."
His voice matched hers in tone and emotion as he started to get out of
bed.
"And
apparently you didn't mind."
Damn! He didn't want to do this to her. She deserved better than a husband that was
trying to get over loving someone else.
When he had come to her door last night, he had honestly believed he
could do it. Fool her, fool
himself. Forget Sam. But the truth of it was, that he was in
pain. And a great deal of it. He couldn't hide it from Sara, and not from
himself. He had done enough of hiding
his feelings where Sam was concerned over the years. Sara deserved better, "I shouldn't have come."
"I'm
glad you did."
The
confusion was real this time, "You are?"
"At
least I know for sure that it's over. I
would always have wondered if maybe there was a chance-"
"It's
never going to be over, Sara. We'll
always have something, it's just not-"
"Not
what it used to be." She filled in
what he was thinking. At least she
could still do that. "Is there
someone else?" She had to know.
"Yeah,
there is." He hung his head and
realized the sad truth, "Or at least there was."
"Give
her a chance, Jack, she just might be able to get past this, and if she can't,
then she doesn't-"
"You
have no idea how much she's had to put up with. I've asked her to give up too much already. I won't do it again."
She got
up off of the bed wondering how long it would take before she could sleep in it
without thinking of the night they had just shared, "I'll make some
coffee."
"Thanks,
I'll be down in a minute." One
night to end his marriage. One night,
after almost twenty years of knowing his wife.
And now he was truly alone.
*****
In the
almost six years she had been at the SGC, Sam Carter had never once called in
sick. Except for today. She thanked whatever god was listening that
Janet was away at a medical convention, and that her replacement just took down
her "symptoms" which included a headache, upset stomach and chills,
just for good measure. Truth be told,
she actually did feel sick but she knew as well as any doctor would that it was
psychosomatic and hardly the result of a virus or bacteria. 'Virus'- she chuckled at the memory of her
attack of her CO over five years ago.
She remembered feeling things for him even then that were far from being
above regulation. She shook her head at
the memory. She refused to spend the
day wallowing in her own self-pity. She
didn't have the luxury of sitting around moping about things that might have
been. She had made her choices just
like Jack had. Now she just had to plan
how to get back on an SG team. Not
SG-1, of course, but back in the action. She couldn't spend the rest of her
time in the SGC sitting around in a lab.
What had she been thinking?
Well, that was the problem, wasn't it?
She hadn't been thinking. She
had been feeling and letting those emotions rule her head. A mistake she wouldn't make again. She
turned on her computer and started making notes for a presentation to General
Hammond. If her personal life was going
to be non-existent, then she would throw herself into her career like never
before. She was going to try harder
than hell to forget she had ever met Jack O'Neill.
*****
Leaving
Sara's house he had hit a traffic jam.
An accident up ahead had slowed traffic so that it was bumper-to-bumper
for miles. It gave him plenty of time
to think- too much time. He saw the flashing
lights just far away and strained to look at the cars involved. It was automatic, subconscious, to make sure
that her car wasn't among those in the wreck.
There was a primitive part of his being that still needed to protect
her, although his mind knew she was far more capable of taking care of herself
and saving his ass at the same time. Of
all the things he had done in his life, the past 24 hours had to rate among the
most stupid. Letting Sam go. Sleeping with Sara to try and forget
Sam. Losing Sara again. He was 46 years old with no family, a few
friends, and not much to look forward to after his career ended. A career that became more short-lived each
time his body took a little longer to move.
A little longer to react. His
day was coming, sooner than he had wanted to think. And he would be left with nothing but a cabin near a lake without
fish. Unless... NO! He wouldn't risk screwing up her life
anymore. He would let Sam Carter go
once and for all.
Part 8
"Major,
didn't we have a conversation about this not long ago?"
"Yes,
Sir."
"Do
you recall in that conversation that I specifically pointed out
to you
how difficult it would be for me to reassign you to an SG
team
again?"
"Yes,
Sir."
"I
also seem to recall you being adamant that you wouldn't change
your
mind."
"Yes,
Sir."
He
tossed his pen onto the pad and sat back against the big leather
chair. He sighed, not softly, and regarded the
woman sitting across
from
him. She was tired, that much was
obvious. And in pain. That
was
less obvious, but you didn't make general by missing the less
obvious
things around you. He was no fool. He knew, or at least
guessed,
what happened in the weeks since Sam left SG-1. Everyone
on base
knew how hard it had been for her to watch her old team go
through
the stargate without her. In fact, he
had half-expected her
to come
to him after that first mission when Captain Williams had
replaced
her. But, he knew her better than that-
she would put on a
brave
front, stick to her guns, and make the new situation work out
to the
best of her ability. So, then, why was
she here? Looking
like
hell. And not the least bit happy.
"Let's
talk off the record, Sam."
She
looked at him with guarded eyes. She
had known he wouldn't just
approve
her request. She was almost surprised he hadn't thrown her
out of
the office after all of the forms he had to fill out to get
her
into the lab full-time to begin with.
But, he was also one of
the
most compassionate and caring men she had ever known. And he
really
wanted what was best for her. She also
knew he would have to
justify
his actions to a lot of people who not only didn't care
about
her, but didn't care about the SGC much either. She softened
her
posture a bit, let down her guard just a little, and nodded.
"What's
going on with you? Really."
She
took a breath. She had to tell him the
truth, or at least
enough
of it so that he would understand why she was doing what she
was
doing. He had to know just enough to
let her back into the
action. "I don't think it's a surprise that I
haven't been entirely
happy
not being part of a field team anymore, Sir."
"You
knew what you were asking for at the time, though, didn't you?"
"Yes,
I did. But I don't think I fully
understood what it would
*feel*
like to not be out there. In some respects it was great-
studying
pieces of technology in depth, not risking my life everyday-
"
"If
I'm not mistaken, a big part of the reason you wanted to stop
going
off-world was so that you could enjoy a 'normal' life. Isn't
that
so?"
"Maybe
I've been in the military too long. I
mean, because Mom died
when I
was so young, it's really the only kind of home life I've
ever
known. I don't think I'm cut out for
having a husband and kids
and a
dog, General." Her eyes couldn't
quite meet his.
Ah
ha. So, that was it. Things didn't work out with O'Neill and
now she
was regretting the way things turned out for her
professionally. Damn!
He really was pulling for those two.
But,
he'd
seen it happen before. Two people who
worked closely together
for so
long could either make it work at home or found they had
nothing
in common after hours. He had thought
Sam and Jack would
fall
into the former category, but if she was sitting across from
him
now, then things had obviously taken a wrong turn. "Sam?"
"Yes,
Sir?" She looked up at him with
hope and fear.
"If
I find a spot for you on an SG team, I want you to know that
this is
the last time I'm going to be able to move you around on
base,
Major."
"I
understand, Sir. And thank you. For everything."
"Report
to me first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll have your
assignment
waiting."
She
left his office with her heart a little lighter. She may not be
a
member of SG-1, but she was going to prove herself as invaluable
to her
next CO and make the best of it. She
considered herself damn
lucky
that the past weeks had been just long enough for her to see
that
she couldn't spend the rest of her life in a lab. Or with Jack
O'Neill. Things were going to get back to some kind
of normal. At
least
normal for her.
*****
Jack
walked into the commissary and heard her rather than saw her.
Her
laugh. Perhaps the thing he missed the
most. Well, he might
have
missed a few other things more. But,
the sound of her being
happy
was up there on the list of things that he cherished most.
His
eyes followed the sound to a table not far away where she sat
with
Teal'c and Jonas. His old team. Resolving himself to facing
the
situation head on, he walked over to where the three of them
sat,
"Mind if I join you?"
All
three pairs of eyes looked into Sam's.
They were all waiting to
see how
she would react. She knew it. "Of course not, Colonel."
He took
the seat diagonal from hers, next to Jonas, across from
Teal'c. "So, what was so funny?"
"I
was just telling Teal'c and Jonas about this supposed piece of
technology
that SG-8 brought back yesterday. They
were sure it was
something
important." She took a sip of her
coffee before
continuing,
trying to calm herself with each measured breath.
"And?" He was faking interest in his eggs and
bacon, wondering how
in the
world she could handle this so well.
"And,
as far as I can tell, it's nothing more than a fancy
paperweight."
His
fork dangled from his fingers, "Really?" He couldn't care
less. But if she could do it, so could he.
"Yeah. I just don't know how to tell them without
hurting their
feelings. They were really excited."
"Don't
worry, Carter, if anyone can let someone down easily, it's
you."
Their
eyes locked. Neither one made a move,
and if Jonas and Teal'c
were
still there, they sure as hell didn't notice.
They were
vaguely
aware of two chairs sliding along the floor and two trays
being
removed from the table with murmured excuses and "see you
laters.'
She
broke contact first, "Actually, Sir, I'm glad that we saw each
other
this morning. I-"
"Really,
Carter? Because I remember getting the distinct
impression
that
you didn't care if you ever saw me again." Like a wounded
animal,
he was snapping at everything in sight.
Trying to nurse his
wound,
and keeping would-be-attackers at bay.
"Sir,
if we could keep this professional, I think it would be easier
on
everyone."
"Or
just easier on you?"
"Either
way, Sir, we are going to have to work together-"
"I
thought that was the point of you working in the lab, Major? So
that we
wouldn't have to work together at all."
"*Sir.* General Hammond has assigned me as the
temporary CO of SG-9
until
Major Sharpe is able to return to active duty."
Shit! He hadn't been expecting that. He had just gotten used to
the
idea that he wouldn't have to see her much at all. He could
come
into base, do his job, and never stop by her lab. He could
schedule
his use of the gym, his meals even, around her. He thought
he
could just pretend she wasn't there at all.
But not now. Now,
he
would be in regular meetings with her, maybe even out on the
field
together again. When had this all
gotten so complicated? He
sighed
and relaxed into his chair.
Her
gaze was fixed on the cup in front of her- the brown liquid
growing
colder.
His
eyes stole a look at her. She had been
happy. For a brief
second,
before he sat down at the breakfast table, she had been
happy. He didn't want to be the cause of her
pain. Not now. Not
ever. She deserved more than that. And so did he. If this was
really
what she wanted, then he was going to have to find a way to
live
with it. "Congratulations."
Her
head shot up- her eyes meeting his. She
found nothing but
sincerity. "Thank you, Sir."
"You
deserve it, Major." She really
did. If he had been honest
with
himself when they had first started dating, he would have
admitted
seeing the fire in her eyes grow a little dimmer each day
she
spent in the lab. He was a fool to
think he was enough to make
up for
what she had lost by giving up her spot on SG-1. "Did
Hammond
give you your first mission yet?"
"Yes,
Sir. Earlier this morning."
He
resumed eating, his stomach only protesting a little. "A good
one?"
"More
routine, but not a bad place to start.
After all, I'm
probably
a bit rusty."
"I
doubt that, Carter." He wondered if
the affection in his voice
was as
obvious to her as it was to him.
"Well,
I had better get my team together. We
ship out in 20." 'My
team'-
that had a nice ring to it. She pushed
her chair back and
stood
ready to take her tray.
"Good
luck, Major."
"Thank
you, Sir." They nodded and she
turned around to leave. If
she had
eyes in the back of her head, she would have seen that his
followed
her out of the commissary.
*****
He
couldn't help himself. Eighteen and
one-half minutes later, he
watched
from the control room as SG-9 stepped onto the ramp. They
were
obviously laughing about something, and Jack remembered with a
tinge
of sadness the first time she had walked through the gate.
With
him. Well, he had pushed her through,
really, but that wasn't
the
point. The point was, they had been
together, and it wasn't
that
either of them hadn't gone on missions before without the
other,
but this was different. They were never
going to be on the
same
team again. She was moving up and on. Away from him. And he
didn't
have a clue as to how to do the same.
He turned his back
before
she stepped through the gate; he couldn't watch anymore. He
just
missed her turning around and looking up only to see his
retreating
figure through the glass. But, she
didn't allow herself
the
luxury of dealing with the emotions stirring inside her.
Rather,
she strode forcefully through the puddle, concentrating on
her
fist mission as CO of SG-9.
*****
Very
few things made General Hammond nervous.
He had seen it all,
and
more, before. Certainly he'd seen more
than his share of death
and
destruction. Of pain and
suffering. But also of joy and
beauty. He was a lucky man, indeed, and one day,
when he did
retire,
he was going to leave an awful lot of friends behind in the
mountain. He just prayed that all of the ones he knew
and loved
would
still be around when that day came.
Which
was why, when his newest CO didn't report back as scheduled,
and
then missed her second check-in as well, he became very, very
nervous. Even worse, most of his teams were off
world. That meant
if the
MALP he was about to send through to the planet where he
hoped
SG-9 still was showed hostiles or any situation calling for
back-up,
he didn't have a lot of manpower to spare.
His thoughts
were
interrupted by his 2IC walking up behind him.
"You
wanted to see me, Sir?"
"Yes,
Colonel, I did. Major Carter hasn't
reported back so far, and
it's
well past her appointed check-in times."
Jack
knew logically that there could be a number of reasons for that-
most of them bad- but some innocuous- the
weather, rough territory,
losing
track of time. But, hell! This was *Carter*. On her first
mission
as CO. There wouldn't be much that
could keep her from
following
procedure. And he really didn't want to
think about what
those
things could be.
The two
men watched together as the MALP sent back video from the
other
side of the gate. Everything seemed the
way it had when SG-9
went
through just a few hours ago. Your
average planet, nothing out
of the
ordinary. Certainly nothing that would
prevent-
"Wait."
"What
is it, Colonel?"
"Sergeant-
scan a little higher- over to the left."
There
it was- black, billowing smoke rising from the ground not more
than a
mile or so from the gate.
"Can
you make it any clearer, son?"
"I'm
afraid not, Sir. That's the best we can
do."
"Colonel-"
"SG-1
will be ready to go in 5, Sir."
Damn! He wasn't sure which made him more nervous-
that SG-9 was
probably
in the middle of whatever was going on out there or that SG-
1 was
about to go in, too.
Part 9
In the
few minutes it had taken SG-1 to gear up and travel through the
wormhole,
the black smoke they had barely seen from the MALP telemetry
had already
made the atmosphere hard to breathe, and limited
visibility
to less than a quarter mile. Oxygen
masks firmly in place,
Jack
signaled to the rest of his team to head toward the center of the
fire,
or whatever was causing the smoky conditions.
The plan was to
go as
far as they could on foot, and then when it became too difficult
to see
a safe distance ahead, drop to the ground and crawl until
reaching
*something*. Okay, so it wasn't really
a brilliant plan. Or
even a
very good one. But they hadn't heard
from SG-9 since they had
left
the gate room nearly 5 hours ago. They
didn't have a clue where
they
were or what had caused the current conditions on the planet.
Jonas
was in charge of trying to reach SG-9 by radio every few
minutes,
but he guessed that whatever had caused the explosion- or
whatever
was at the center of the flames that became visible as they
drew
near- was also interfering with the radio signal. Teal'c had
taken
point, but was unable to see much beyond a few feet in front of
his face
as they approached the epicenter of the flames. Jack quickly
assessed
the situation: not only could they not
see or make contact
with
SG-9, they were rapidly losing the ability to even see where they
were
going. Whatever had caused this wasn't anywhere
around either.
They
needed to regroup away from the smoke and try to find someone or
something
to indicate what had happened since Carter and her team had
stepped
through the gate.
Signaling
to Williams who was just a few feet to his right, Jack
motioned
that they should fall back to the gate and see if they could
find
any indication of what was going on.
Not ten minutes later, SG-1
was
back where they started. Jonas, ever
the observant weather-
watcher,
was the first to notice that the wind had quickly changed
direction-
blowing the smoke away from the gate.
Finally able to
remove
the masks, Jack asked the question he was afraid he already
knew
the answer to, "Anybody see anything?"
No
response. Teal'c ventured up a slight
incline that was just west
of the
gate as Jonas continued to try the radio.
Williams was trying
to
analyze the air composition, hoping to gather some data that would
tell
them what was producing the smoke filled clouds.
"O'Neill."
Jack
jogged to catch up to Teal'c, "What've you got?"
Teal'c
pointed toward the foothills of a small mountain range
southwest
of their position. Jack could barely
make out a line of
people
traveling toward the area. It was their
best shot. "Jonas,
Williams-
get up here."
Following
as quickly as they could, Captain Williams spoke first,
"Sir,
from the data I've been analyzing, it appears as though the
smoke
is being caused by the burning of some kind of fossil fuel."
"Like
oil?"
"It's
possible, Colonel."
Okay, so
that could be a plausible scenario: a fire or explosion of
some
sort occurs, maybe the energy supply of a village or town,
SG-9
stumbles upon the evacuation of the natives and helps move
supplies. Feeling slightly better that they at least
had something to
go on,
Jack gave the order to move out toward the only life forms they
had
seen since arriving on P2X-485. He just
hoped to hell SG-9 was
among
them. And that they were all alive.
*****
What
seemed like an hour later, but was actually closer to 25 minutes,
SG-1
closed in on the position of the villagers.
Even from a
distance,
he could tell at least part of his theory was right: these
people
were moving as fast as they could and taking everything they
could
carry with them. Children were carrying
toys; women were
leading
farm animals that had blankets and food baskets strapped to
them;
men were carrying jugs of water and small tools. Then he saw
it,
like a beacon of hope. An SGC
jacket. Over the shoulders of an
elderly
woman. Jack broke out into a sprint to
catch up to her.
Taking
the bundle of things she was struggling with as soon as he
reached
her, he gave her a smile and a nod.
"Ma'am."
"You
didn't come with the other ones... before the lightening."
"No,
Ma'am. The 'other ones'- were they
wearing clothes like mine?"
"Yes. The pretty woman gave me her coat just
before she went back for
the
rest of the villagers."
"How
long ago was that?"
"I'm
not sure. It feels like we've been walking for hours."
As the
rest of his team caught up, Jack gave Jonas the bundle of
clothes
he had taken from the woman, "Listen up.
It looks like SG-9
got
here before some kind of lightening struck and started this fire.
They've been helping these people evacuate
their homes and get to the
mountains. Carter went for some of the remaining
villagers awhile ago
and
hasn't come back."
"Sir,
I've been able to make radio contact with Lieutenants Scott and
Wolf
and Captain Bailey. They're in the
foothills helping the
villagers
settle in until the smoke passes."
Knowing
that the other members of SG-9 were safe, Jack gave the order
for
Jonas and Williams to assist them with the relocation of the
people
while he and Teal'c went after any remaining villagers. And
Carter. He just hoped the noxious fumes being
emitted from the
burning
fuel were blowing away from her position.
Wherever that was.
*****
Not
taking any chances, Jack and Teal'c repositioned their oxygen
masks
as they drew near the village. Coming
at it from this
direction,
and now that the wind was blowing away from them, they could
see the
deserted homes and buildings before them.
The light of the
flames
from the fire cast an eerie glow. Like
a ghost town, really,
only
too many signs of it being recently inhabited still existed. A
half-eaten
lunch on a table, a swing still moving in the wind, wet
laundry
in a basket waiting to be hung on a line.
All evidence of a
hasty
retreat. And no sign of Carter.
Just
then, he heard a crackle on the radio, "Colonel, Teal'c- come
in."
Jack
signaled to Teal'c to continue looking in some of the homes, "We
read
you, Jonas."
"Sir,
all of the villagers are accounted for."
"Carter?"
"No
sign of her. One of the last men to
walk in said that he saw her
go
into... at the end of the..."
"Jonas! You're breaking up. Repeat."
"...
into the school house ... of the road."
"What
does it look like?"
"Brown,
with a bell outside. It was one ... hit
by the lightening,
Sir,
the man I was talking to thinks that...
roof... cave-in."
Jack spotted
Teal'c just ahead running toward something.
Knowing that
he had
been listening to the conversation, he hoped that they were
headed
in the direction of the schoolhouse.
Jonas's suspicions were
confirmed
as they reached the steps- the building was barely being
supported
by the roof. If Carter was inside,
there was little hope that she wasn't buried underneath shingles or brick or
beams, and even if she wasn't, there was no telling how thick the smoke and
fumes had
been
inside.
Tired
of contemplating options they didn't like, Jack and Teal'c worked
together
to pry the door out of the badly warped frame.
The sight
inside
did nothing to quell their fears, the air was dense- from smoke
or
dust, they couldn't tell. They couldn't
see as well as they could
hear,
so taking off his mask, Jack started to yell, "Carter!" Teal'c
followed
suit calling out for his missing comrade.
Not getting a
response,
they started to carefully explore the remains of the
building. Desks were piled high with roofing shingles,
chairs lay
broken
on the floor, books and papers were strewn everywhere. Jack
took
off his pack and fished around for his flashlight. If she was in
here,
then he was going to have to do some exploring-
"O'Neill!"
The
urgency of Teal'c's call turned Jack's body toward the sound of
his
voice.
"There
is a staircase that leads to a sublevel."
Pushing
aside his concern of going below ground in an unstable
building,
Jack followed Teal'c down the stairs and started calling for
Sam
again. He heard a rustle behind him,
but was disappointed to see
only a
small cat tread across the floor toward his legs. He pointed
his
flashlight in the direction that the cat came from.
Oh my
god.
Was
it? It couldn't be.
His
legs felt heavy. His gut was slowly
rising up his throat. He couldn't move.
Teal'c
saw it, too.
A
leg.
He took
Jack's flashlight from his hand and walked closer. Another leg. A body. Propped up against a brick wall. Arms limp at its side. Head hung- chin touching her chest.
Her.
Carter.
A wood
plank lay across her lap, but there was no obvious sign of injury. He regained his senses and ability to act in
the fraction of an instant. He pushed
past Teal'c, and tried to move the beam off of her. It was too heavy for just him; Teal'c was by his side. Lifting it as much as they could, Teal'c
held it in place long enough for Jack to pull her out by her legs. He hoped he wasn't doing any more
damage. He actually just hoped she was
still breathing.
Once
she was clear, Teal'c released the beam, but as it hit the
ground,
they heard the walls around them shaking.
Teal'c picked Sam
up and
headed for the stairs, the furry cat following close behind.
Taking
one last look around, Jack picked up the rear and could see the
light
from the doorway. He saw Teal'c clear
the frame and prematurely
breathed
a sigh of relief as his left foot came into contact with the
ground
outside the door. He couldn't help the
scream that escaped his
lips as
several roof shingles crashed onto his right leg, causing him to fall to the
ground. Hearing Jack's cries, Teal'c
laid Sam down
outside
of the immediate area of the building, and went back for Jack.
He lifted the shingles of off the back of his
calf and helped Jack
stumble
away from the rapidly collapsing structure.
Once at
Sam's position, Jack fell to the ground and felt for a pulse.
Thank god.
He also noticed a big, bloody gash on her forehead that
he
hadn't seen before. The beam that had
been on her lap must have
hit her
in the head causing her to black out.
They had to get back to
the
gate, but he could hardly walk that far on one leg and Teal'c had to carry
Carter. Shit! He had to call for
back-up. "Jonas, Williams?"
"Here,
Sir."
"Williams,
contact Hammond and tell him that we need a medical team
standing
by. Carter's unconscious, and it's a good 30 minutes back."
"Yes,
Sir."
"Tell
Jonas to bring Bailey and rendezvous at my current position."
"Yes,
Sir."
"Teal'c,
take Carter as fast as you can. I'll
make it back with Jonas
and
Bailey."
Teal'c
nodded and started to jog as best he could carrying Sam back to
the
gate.
Jack
could only watch and wait.
Part 10
The
past hour was among the longest in his life- only a few others
stood out
in his mind as seeming this endless: waiting to hear from
the
doctors that Charlie was dead, walking into an empty house after
returning
from Abydos only to realize that Sara wasn't coming back,
waiting
for his next 'session' with Ba'al, realizing the gate was
buried
on Edora. It was ironic, really, that
in all of the odd alien
things
they had come across in the past six years, the instances where
time
stood still, so to speak, were the clearest in his mind. The
moments
when his heart seemed to stop beating, when movement was
suspended,
and where thoughts and emotions intensified to the point of
feeling
surreal. As Jonas and Williams helped
him through the gate
and
into the infirmary, only one thought consumed his brain, "Was
Carter
alive?" The emotions that raged
through his heart and into
every
nerve ending throughout his body were more complex. Anger and
frustration
easily rose to the surface as nurses scurried about him,
refusing
to answer his questions. The last thing
he would remember
about that
day was being strapped to the bed as someone injected him
with
something to make him sleep.
*****
Headache
didn't really begin to describe it. The
pounding Sam felt in
her
head, behind her eyes, in her jaw and throughout her neck and
shoulders
was far more pain than she could remember feeling in a very
long
time. Even before she opened her eyes,
she recognized the
unmistakable
signs of the SGC infirmary, and never had she been so
glad to
be there. Content to lay quiet for a
few more seconds, her lungs had other ideas.
She began a forceful coughing fit that drew the attention of the nurse
on duty who promptly called Dr. Fraiser from her office. As she approached the bed, the hacking
subsided and Sam gratefully accepted a sip of water before relaxing into the
pillows.
"Welcome
back. How are you feeling?" Janet scrutinized Sam's
appearance
as an art dealer would a valuable painting- looking for
cracks
on the surface, for signs of forgery underneath.
"I'm
not sure." Her voice sounded raspy
and strained. No doubt a
result
of the smoke she had inhaled on the planet.
Her brain quickly
jumped
into command mode, "Did everyone make it out okay? My team?
The villagers?"
"Everyone
made it out fine, Sam, except you."
Janet turned to inspect
the drip
and added quietly, "And Colonel O'Neill."
Sam
heard the comment but was overcome with another fit of coughing
and
couldn't respond. Janet called to the
nurse to bring something-
Sam
couldn't quite make out the name- and then her last memory was of
worrying
about the Colonel and trying to tell Janet that she had to
call
Sara.
*****
As his
eyes peeled open he was vaguely aware of Teal'c standing on his
right,
blocking part of the bright, white overhead light from his
view. His lips were dry and rough, and he pointed
to the water cup on
the
table as an indication that he wanted a sip.
Having wetted his
lips a
little, he asked the only question he could remember, "Is
Carter-"
"She
is recovering O'Neill. DoctorFraiser
said that had we reached her
any
later, she may not have made it."
Teal'c's slightly softer tone
of
voice was the only indication that he was relieved. That he knew
how
close they had come to losing her.
'Recovering.' That was really the only word Jack heard. The only one
that
mattered. They had reached her in
time. All of them had had so
many
close calls over the years, they were barely worth mentioning.
The
only one that counted today was this one.
That she had made it.
That
they had found her before it was too late.
Lost in his own
thoughts,
he was vaguely aware that Teal'c had left his side, no doubt
to
inform the Doc that he was awake and responsive.
As if
on cue, Janet walked toward him, a smile on her lips, "Good
morning,
Colonel."
"Is
it?" He went about the motions of
sitting up only to realize that
his leg
was mobilized. Shit! He had forgotten that part.
"I
count any morning where all SG teams are accounted for and alive a
good
one, Sir."
"What's
up with my leg?" He resisted the
urge to make a 'What's up,
Doc?'
joke as the pain emanating from his right knee found it's way up
to his
brain.
"I'm
afraid you're going to be in a bit of pain for awhile, Colonel.
As you
left the building, some debris fell on your right..."
He ears
were listening to the medical terms as his brain disengaged.
His
mind's eye was reliving the moment again.
Finding Sam. Seeing her
limp
form against the wall. Hearing the
sounds of the crumbling walls
all
around them. The smoke filling the
room. Trying to get up the
stairs,
out into the street. Away from danger.
"Sir?"
Realizing
he hadn't really been paying attention, but not really
wanting
to hear it all again either, "I got it, Doc. PT for a few
months."
That much had registered at least.
"I'm
afraid it's more than just that, Colonel." Her eyes held his,
preparing
him for a blow that was sure to follow.
He
nodded, "Give it to me straight.
Please."
"I'm
afraid that even in the best scenario, even if the PT is
successful,
that you won't regain 100% movement in your knee again.
Physical
activity will have to be restricted to minimize the impact on
the
joints for some time." She
inhaled, realizing from the set of his
jaw
that he understood what she hadn't said.
He was effectively
retiring. Today.
"I'm sorry, Sir."
And so
was he. All he had to look forward to
was months of PT and
then
spending the rest of his life alone.
Maybe at his cabin. Maybe
with a
dog. But decidedly alone.
"Sir,
I hate to intrude on your personal life, but Major Carter has
been
saying something in her sleep that I thought I should tell you
about."
Well
that got his attention. What in the
hell could Carter say that
he
should know about now? "What is it?"
"After
she found out that you were injured, she wanted me to call your
wife
and let her know."
"Sara?" How in the hell had she known they were back
together?? Not
that
they were anymore, but apparently Sam didn't know that part. His
brain
was swimming with information, trying to remember the timing of
Sara
showing up, Sam breaking up with him.
Damn the drugs Fraiser had
given
him. He couldn't think clearly!
"Yes,
Sir. I called to let her know that you
had been injured, but
would
recover and that you would be in touch as soon as you woke up."
"Thank
you." Now he had to call her and
explain. At least the parts
he
could tell her about.
"Sir,
I'm sorry to pry again, but she seemed confused that I called.
She
said that you weren't together anymore-"
"She's
right. We haven't been together for a
very long time."
"I
know that, Sir, and I hesitated to call, but Major Carter seemed
very
insistent that she was still your wife.
I wanted to err on the
side of
caution and let her know, just in case."
"You
did the right thing. Really. I appreciate it."
"You're
welcome. As soon as you feel up to
calling her, I'll have one
of the
nurses bring a phone in to you."
And with that, she turned and
walked
out. Leaving him alone in the
room. He guessed he was going
to have
to get used to that.
*****
Having
just eaten her first real meal in days, Sam was feeling better
than
she had in a long time. She hadn't
really rested since she and
Ja- the
Colonel- had decided to call it off.
Well, since she had
called
it off. And now, she had her own team,
even if it was only
temporary,
and her first mission had been a success.
Not in terms of
getting
technology, but in terms of helping the villagers safely
evacuate
their homes. Now they could start to
rebuild, with the help
of the
SGC, as other teams went in search of naquada in the mountains.
There could be some valuable minerals there
as well, if her
preliminary
scans had been correct.
Drinking
the last of her juice, she was surprised to see General
Hammond
walking toward her. She put her cup
down, and smiled,
"General."
"Major. Nice to see that you're recovering so
well." His eyes gave
her a
once over as if to assure himself that she really was as good as
Dr.
Fraiser kept insisting.
"Yes,
Sir. I feel much better and am looking
forward to getting out
of
here."
"I'm
sure you are." He pulled over a
chair from across the room and
sat
next to her bed. "Sam, I need to
talk to you about something."
Okaaaay. This was completely out of character for
him. First of all
to come
to the infirmary, unless it really had been life or death, and
as best
she could tell it wasn't that bad, and secondly, to call her
by her
first name, and then, to sit???
"Dr.
Fraiser tells me that you know SG-1 was the unit that came to
P2X-485
when you didn't report back as scheduled."
She
nodded. What in the hell was he getting
at?
"She
also mentioned to you that Colonel O'Neill injured himself when
he and
Teal'c rescued you from the schoolhouse?"
Oh
God! Janet had said he was fine. A little PT for an injury to his
leg,
but nothing serious...
"The
injury that he sustained will require intense physical therapy,
and
even at that-" He steadied
himself. No matter how long he had
been at
this, it was never easy to lose a good man.
Possibly the best
he'd
ever served with. "He won't be
returning to active duty."
A blow
to the chest couldn't have taken her breath away more
forcefully. No more Colonel O'Neill at the SGC? Someone else leading
SG-1? This was insane. Was this her reality?
Maybe she had touched
a
quantum mirror on P2X-485- maybe *her* Colonel was fine. Anything but this. Anything but that he wasn't going back out there.
"I
know this is a shock, Major. I've
already told Teal'c and Jonas,
and
well, you can imagine how they reacted.'
Could
she ever. She could see Teal'c's
eyebrow raising ever the more
slightly.
His jaw clenching almost imperceptibly.
The way Jonas would
exhale
and sit further back in his chair.
Shaking his head with a
look of
disbelief. She knew them by heart.
"Major,
when you came back to me asking for a re-assignment to another
SG
team, I was skeptical, to say the least."
She
opened her mouth, but he held up his hand in protest and continued
to speak,
"But after hearing from SG-9 about the way you handled the
situation-
saving not only the villagers, but keeping the rest of your
team
safe, I knew there was only was solution."
Solution
to what? Her heart was pounding
furiously- what was he
trying to
say???
"SG-1
has been through a lot in the last year, Sam.
First losing Dr.
Jackson,
and then integrating Jonas into the team.
Then you being
replaced
by Captain Williams, and now Jack. It's
a lot for one team
to adjust
to- especially one as close as you all are."
'Were. As close as we all were.' It was a sad, but true, thought
that
she refused to voice.
"What
I'm trying to say, is that I think it's time I did what I should
have
done when Colonel O'Neill came to me months ago and tried to
retire."
HUH?? When did he do that????
"He
wanted you to have command of SG-1, but I didn't think you were
ready."
"And
now?" Could he be saying what she
thought he was saying??
"Now,
I can't think of anyone that I would rather have as CO of SG-1.
If you want it, Sam, it's yours."
If she
wanted it? Did Jonas like fruit? Had Teal'c practically
memorized
the script to 'Star Wars'? Did Anise
have fake boobs?
Hell,
yes, she wanted it!!!
"It
would be an honor, Sir. And it means
more to me than you know
that
you think I'm ready."
"I'm
glad you feel that way, Major. I think
you should have the honor
of
telling Colonel O'Neill. He'll be
pleased."
"Yes,
Sir." Could her smile get any
bigger? "And thank you."
*****
Not 48
hours later, Major Samantha Carter, CO of SG-1, walked from her
bed in
the infirmary to the room just several doors down. She peered
inside
the window to see one very grumpy Jack O'Neill giving his new
physical
therapist hell for trying to help him.
She couldn't help the
smile
that grew on her face. She still loved
that man. Even if his
heart
belonged to someone else, hers belonged to him. She guessed
that a
part of it always would. Deciding it
was time to give him the
news,
she knocked on the door before entering.
Two
pairs of eyes were on her: one showed relief at the intrusion, the
other
displayed caution. "I'm sorry to
interrupt, Sir, but I thought
you
could use a break."
The
therapist was quick to answer, and her haste wasn't lost on either
officer,
"Great idea! Colonel, I'll be back
tomorrow. Make sure to
practice
the exercises I showed you." She
hurriedly packed her things
together
and brushed past Sam in an effort to leave the room as
quickly
as she could. He may be great to look at,
but he was one of
the
most inpatient patients she had ever come across!
"Looks
like you've made quite an impression, Sir." Her lips itched to
smile.
He
groaned as he eased his body into a chair and began taking off the
ankle
weights. He was so happy to see
her. Alive and joking. He
could
do joking. "I think she likes
me."
"I'm
sure she does." Her playfully mocking tone wasn't lost on him and
he
stopped what he was doing to look at her.
She seemed happy and
healthy. Better than she had in months.
As if
guessing what he was thinking, she decided to plunge in head
first,
"I think taking a forced recovery, even if only for a few days,
did
wonders for me."
"Yeah,
I guess it did." He busied himself
with putting the weights
away and
gathering his exercise list.
"General
Hammond asked me to tell you-" No,
that wasn't right. She
*wanted*
to tell him. "I wanted to tell you
that General Hammond asked
me to
take over SG-1 for you."
His
smile said it all. The kind she seldom
saw. Even when they had
been
together. He was rarely this
unguarded. Pride. Happiness.
Satisfaction. And a lot of other things that she used to
think
belonged
to her. But now belonged to Sara
again. "That's great news,
Major. I'm really happy for you."
"Thank
you, Sir. General Hammond mentioned to
me that you had
approached
him before, about me taking over SG-1, and I wanted to
tell
you that it means a lot to me that you think I'm the right person
for the
job."
"You're
the *only* person for the job now, Carter.
I'm just sorry it had to happen this way."
"I'm
sorry, too."
Their
eyes locked as they both realized they were talking about so
much
more than the command of SG-1. It was
about missed opportunities
and bad
timing. About repressed feelings and
misguided loyalties. It
was
about them.
He
struggled to stand using his crutches, and she resisted the urge to
rush
over and help him. He would hate that,
and she would understand
why. So, she just stood at the door, ready to
open it for him when he
made it
across the room. "So, you're going
home today?"
"Yep. I still have some reports to finish, and
I'll be coming in for
my PT
for a while. Hammond is talking about
some desk job, but I'm
not
sure I want to do that."
She
nodded. She could understand his
reluctance. He wasn't a paper
pusher,
and being at the SGC but not being part of the action might be
harder
than not being there at all.
"Are
you heading home, too?"
"As
soon as I pick-up my laptop. I have some
work to do before Janet
clears
me for off-world travel again." He
had almost reached her
position,
and she turned to open the door when she heard his voice.
"Carter,
I'm not sure how you heard. About me
and Sara." Oh boy was
this
hard. But she had to know the
truth. If he could hope to
rebuild
the friendship they had before, she had to know. "We were
together
again, briefly, but it's over now. For
good. It has been
for a
long time. I guess we both just needed
to be sure."
"Oh." A flicker of hope passed through her
chest. "I'm sorry."
"Don't
be. It's for the best. For both of us." His eyes held hers
for a
brief moment before she turned the knob and pulled the door open
for
him.
He
hobbled past her, but stopped just short of the threshold. "Since
we're
both going to be out of commission for awhile, I thought that
maybe
we could..." He struggled for the
right words- the ones that
would
say he wasn't pushing, but he wanted her in his life, even if
she
didn't feel the same way anymore. That
he wanted to be friends or
whatever
part of him she would have.
She
could do this. She could be his
friend. And in fact, there were
some
things she wanted to go over with him before going out with SG-1
again. "Get coffee? Or something?"
He
smiled, the second of the day. Hell,
maybe the month. "Yeah. I'd
like
that." He continued out into the
corridor.
She was
behind him- not too close, he didn't need a babysitter. But
not too
far, just in case. "Besides,
someone will have to make sure
you do
those exercises."
She
could hear his groan before it even left his mouth. She knew him
by
heart, too.
Part 11
He'd
known this day was coming. Known it
since he started really.
Although
he never thought he would make it this far. One way or
another,
he had expected to be long gone before today ever came.
Jack
O'Neill was officially retired. For
good.
It was
ironic, really, that they were having a party for *him* (a
surprise,
of course, which they all knew he hated- save Jonas, whom
he was
certain was behind the whole thing) when the person they
really
should be having the party for was Carter.
She was the one
who had
something worth celebrating. He was
just glad to have
played
a part in it.
He
looked at his watch and realized the afternoon had gone by
without
him really noticing. Another problem
with getting old, he
mused,
and decided to head home. She and the
rest of SG-1, along
with a
few other familiar faces from the base, were probably waiting
for
him. The thought of balloons and
streamers didn't seem so bad
when
held against the backdrop of his former second in command
smiling
as he walked through the door. Their
new, quiet friendship
had
blossomed quite nicely over the past weeks.
It had
started simply- he would be on base finishing up reports,
going
to his PT, and he would bump into her on the way to the mess
hall or
to the lab. Accidentally, of
course. And then he would
join
her for lunch or a snack or follow her back to the lab so he
could
ask a few questions in order to finish up his report. Their
ease
with each other reminded him of the early days. Before he
realized
how careful he had to be around her.
Before she realized
why it
had to be that way.
They
had crossed the line of being just co-workers so long ago, and
then
headed straight into being lovers, that somewhere along the
line
they had forgotten how to be friends.
It was easy to see now,
looking
back, how they had made that mistake.
Hindsight was still
20/20
after all. They were so familiar with
each other's habits and
thought
patterns, that they had mistaken it for a different kind of
intimacy. Not the kind where you know what the other
person is
going
to order at their favorite restaurant, but the kind where you
know
how the person found the restaurant to begin with and who
they've
eaten here with, and why, to this very day, they can't order
the
calamari without laughing hysterically.
Walking
up the steps to the door, he knew she would be able to tell
that
the surprised look on his face wasn't real.
That he was
putting
on a show so that Jonas wouldn't be crushed.
In fact, if he
hadn't
been looking, he might have missed the cars of his friends
and
co-workers parked along the neighboring streets of his house.
He
might have even missed the fact that his screen door was slightly
ajar. And maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have
heard the muffled
shushing
sounds as he turned his key in the lock and carefully
opened
the heavy wood door.
"SURPRISE!"
He
actually was. Not because he wasn't
expecting it. Not because
there
weren't clues all around. But because
of who was there.
Actually,
he wanted to know who *wasn't* there.
How in the heck had
they
smuggled Bray'tac to earth without him noticing? And Janet had
actually
let Cassie bring Dominic? He wondered
how in the world
*that*
happened. Of course, the one person he
wanted to see the
most
was conspicuously absent. Making his
way to the kitchen where
he
guessed she might be- not really one for crowds herself- he made
the
excuse of needing a beer to calm down his old heart from all of
the
excitement. And there she was, her back
to him, standing over
the
sink, intently doing something as he waited, patiently observing
her
actions, his own presence going unnoticed.
"Damn!"
If he
hadn't been completely sure she was oblivious to him, he would
have
chuckled, but he desperately wanted to know what she was
working
on that obviously wasn't going the way she wanted. The
smile
on his face unashamedly grew as he heard her muttering to
herself.
"How
is it that you can defeat System Lords, out maneuver armies of
Jaffa,
and yet the simple act of peeling a radish as decoration for
a
cheese platter is beyond your capabilities?"
That
did him in. The laugh escaped his mouth
before he had a chance
to stop
it.
She
spun around, knife in one hand, badly deformed radish in the
other,
"Sir!"
"Sorry,
Carter. Didn't mean to cause you to
butcher an unsuspecting
vegetable." He motioned his head to her left hand that
held the
mangled
object of her attention.
"It
wasn't you, Sir. Trust me. This-"
She held up the red and
white
mush just before tossing it down the disposal, "didn't stand a
chance." She ran the water over her hands and the
knife and spoke
above
the flow of water, "Why Jonas ever thought letting me do this
was a
good idea, I'll never know."
"Why
Jonas thought any of this was a good idea, I'll never know."
She
turned off the water and spoke with resignation, "You *did*
know."
"Hard
to miss, Carter. It's sort of my job to
notice things that
aren't
exactly normal." Or rather, *was*
his job.
"And
this doesn't qualify as normal? It's
not like we haven't had
parties
before."
"Yes,
but a house half-filled with aliens- *my* house- with balloons
and
confetti everywhere." He shook his
head as he twisted off the
cap to
the beer that he had retrieved from the frig.
"Please
don't say anything to Jonas, it would kill him if he knew."
"I
won't say a word." He took a drink
of beer and took in the site
of his
former 2IC. She was strikingly
beautiful even with a
dishtowel
flung over her shoulder and an apron tied around her
waist. She was wearing a pink dress, and he
wondered if he had ever
seen
her in pink before. It looked good with
her complexion, he
decided,
and was about to tell her so when the spell was broken as
Jonas
wandered in to see how the guest of honor was doing.
"There
you are, Colonel, I've been looking everywhere for you."
"House
isn't that big, Jonas." He drank
from the bottle again,
hoping
Jonas would catch on that he wasn't really in the mood for
conversation
just now, but he really should have known better.
"So,
what do you think? Great decorations,
huh? Teal'c and I spent
hours
at the party store, and Cassie made the sign in art class.
Her
teacher let her use-"
"Jonas,
this is all really fascinating, but Carter and I have some
very
official, very classified... stuff... that we have to discuss
*now*. So if you don't mind-"
Clearly
baffled, but obliging just the same, "Sure, Colonel. I'll
catch
you guys later." He backed out of
the kitchen suspiciously
eyeing
his two friends.
Once
out of earshot, she had to ask,
"Sir?"
"Not
here, Carter. Meet me in the garage in
10."
"Sir?!?!"
"Trust
me, Carter. You're going to like
it." He only hoped she
really
would.
Was it
possible for ten minutes to pass more slowly?
If she didn't
know
better, she would have sworn they were in the time bubble with
the
Replicators. She was trying very hard
to appear interested as
Janet
and that nurse Jonas liked- what was her name again?- talked
about
the latest in cloning technology. But
her mind kept wandering
to
where she was- Jack's house. The
Colonel. So why didn't he feel
very
much like even her former CO earlier?
And what did he have to
tell
her that he couldn't tell Jonas? All of
a sudden, she wished
the ten
minutes would stop coming so quickly.
She
glanced at her watch for what much have been the 50th time, when
Janet
finally gave up pretending not to notice, "Sam! What is so
urgent
that you have to keep checking you watch?"
Just as
she was about to make some excuse about the Swedish
meatballs
overcooking, Jonas came up behind her and saved the day.
Did
anything get past this guy?
"Excuse me ladies, but Major Carter
and I
have some last minute plans to attend to." And at
that,
he ushered her to the back door so she could make a hasty
retreat
to the garage. His eyes met hers and
with a quick smile, he
turned
and fixed his attention back to the guests.
She
hurried to the garage door that she had heard him open just
minutes
earlier. She wondered what excuse he
had come up with for
needing
to be in the garage, but she also knew if he had pretended
to be
in one of his moods, no one was going to question him.
She
found him toward the back sorting through old bottles and cans
for the
recycling bins. She waited for a
minute for him to turn
around,
and as she knew very well that he knew she was there, she
decided
to quit playing the game, "What was so important that you
had to
leave your own party?"
His
back straightened a little as he heard her words, but he
continued
with his actions until the recycle pile had been sorted
through. Then, he wiped his hands on his jeans and
turned to face
her. He smiled as he walked toward her, picking
up a large wrapped
box
along the way. He handed it to her
silently.
"This
is a party for you. You shouldn't have
gotten me a present."
She
eyed the paper and the wrapping job carefully- definitely
something
he had done on his own.
"I
wanted to. Besides, you should wait
until you see it." His eyes
danced
mischievously at her, piquing her interest.
She sat
down on a nearby workbench, and started peeling off the
tape,
but found it was everywhere on the wrapping paper. Almost as
if he
were afraid to leave any part of it uncovered for fear the
whole
thing would come undone. So, instead
she decided to rip it
off. Much to his amusement. Sam Carter didn't rip open many
things. Even presents.
Tossing
the paper to the floor, she found- much to her frustration,
that
the box was also covered in tape- as if the paper on the
outside
weren't enough to keep it closed!
Finally cutting through
the
sticky pieces on one end, she managed to get enough of a hold on
the box
to pry the rest of the tape loose.
Inside, she saw nothing
but
tissue paper. Sifting through the
crinkly pieces, her left hand
came
into contact with a smooth piece of wood.
Maneuvering it out
of the
box, she lifted it up and just smiled.
A rare, unguarded,
full-fledged
smile.
It was
a carving of a fish. Hardly done by a
professional, but
never
had something been made with more care or devotion, she
guessed. It had been stained a cherry color, and on
the back there
was an
inscription: "To the new CO of SG-1.
Always come home,
Jack." The tears were welling up in her eyes as she
re-read the
words. So simple, but with so much meaning behind
them. The gift
symbolized
all at once what had never been and what would always be:
they
had never really left "Major" and "Colonel" behind. Their
values
and beliefs- more than the regs- had kept them away from each
other.
The
back of her throat burned, and the tears began to flow freely as
her
hands traced over the carving. Fingers
trembling. Shoulders
shaking.
He had
expected her to laugh, or maybe just give him an indulgent
smile. It was supposed to be a gag, almost, except
that she had
caught
his meaning. He should have known she
would. The one place
they
could have been just themselves was the one place they had
never
gone. Maybe he should have kidnapped
her when she broke up
with
him. Forced her to go up there with
him, and made her
understand
how he felt. But then she would have
resented him. For
ruining
her career. For not letting her
choose. As he stood
watching
her cry, unable to decide whether or not to comfort her,
the
decision was made for him.
She
wiped her tears away, placed the fish back in the box, and
walked
toward him. Glassy blue eyes met clear
brown ones, and she
kissed
him. Sweetly, softly, almost
hesitantly. But it was a
*kiss*. And then her arms went around his neck and
he felt, rather
than
heard her whisper into his neck, "Thank you so much. For
everything."
He
wasn't sure how long they stood there.
Just swaying slightly in
each
other's embrace. Neither wanting to
break contact, both
knowing
there was a house full of people that had probably started
to
wonder where they had went. Finally, he
spoke, "I'm glad you
like
it."
She
pulled back slightly, tears threatening again, but instead, she
just
smiled, "It's perfect."
There
was more he had to say. "You're going to be great. Better
than I
ever was."
"I
really doubt that, Sir, but thanks anyway."
"I
mean it, Carter. And if you can't kick
their asses, I'll bet you
can
charm them with your beauty and brains."
He had to break the
tension
with some humor.
It
worked. She laughed. "God help us if our fate rests on my
charms."
"I
don't know, I'd say it worked on a few planets."
She
smiled again. "Including
Earth?"
He
smiled back. "Especially Earth."
She
took a breath, and started to say something when Jonas once
again
interrupted- "*There* you guys
are- the food's ready and
General
Hammond wants to make a toast first."
Whatever
she was about to say would have to wait as they followed
Jonas
back into the house. Duty calling them
once again.
Part 12
Much to
Jonas's delight, and Jack's dismay, the party lasted long into the afternoon
and well into the evening. Not that
Jack actually minded that people were still around- heck, Jacob had even
managed to make it about an hour ago.
But he had a sneaking suspicion, and he was rarely wrong about these
kinds of things, that Sam had wanted to say something more to him earlier. That kiss she had given him- where had that
come from? Tender and unsure, but
filled with emotion. He knew her at
least that well. Sam Carter didn't take
kissing a man lightly, and for whatever reason, she had wanted to kiss
him. Again. Tonight.
His
pondering was interrupted, not by Jonas thank god, but by the father of the
woman who often dominated his thought processes. He was looking well, as always, and with thanks to Selmak. "Jacob." The obligatory head nod was offered and returned.
"Jack." He handed Jack a beer and just stood beside
him, staring at the neighbor's kids running through their yard with flashlights
playing some game that neither one could figure out.
"Glad
you could make it." He really
was. One of the few people whose
company he actually enjoyed.
"Yeah,
me too. I haven't seen Sam in awhile,
and I can't tell you how proud I am of her..." His voice actually caught in his throat.
Jack
just listened. He had been a father,
too, once, and recognized the feelings very well. It really was beyond words, the way your kids could make you feel
so much pride in them. He understood
what Jacob couldn't say, and he was more than a little touched that Jacob was
that open with him.
"Sam
told me that the two of you aren't seeing each other anymore."
The
younger man nodded- suspecting yet again that there was something more the
elder Carter had to say to him.
"I
was sorry to hear that, Jack. I mean,
not that any father really wants his daughter to be dating someone, but if she
has to be, then I guess you're not so bad." He said it with humor in his voice, and Jack couldn't' help but
smile.
"Thanks,
I think." He took a sip of his
beer- how many did that make?- and continued, "I'm sorry, too."
"It's
not one of the things I miss, you know, about being a Tok'ra. Dating sucks on Earth. At least with the Tok'ra, everything is out
in the open. No surprises or hidden
feelings."
"Yeah,
I've heard that." His encounter
with Anise sprang to mind.
"I
have to admit that this... thing... between the two of you has me baffled
though."
"What
thing?" He was confused, and maybe
a little drunk, which didn't help.
"It's
just that you and Sam both seem sad that it's over, and the best that I can
tell, neither one of you is with someone else, so... what's the problem?"
Well,
what in the world was he supposed to say to that? She had broken up with him!
He just knew he didn't want to stand in the way of her happiness or her
career. Of course, now that she had the
job she deserved, and he was retired, and it was really over with Sara, he
wondered what was standing between them?
Until Jacob had just told him that Sam wasn't seeing someone, he kind of
thought she could have been, but there hadn't been any evidence pointing to
that... But she was so guarded about
her personal life, who could tell?
"Well,
like I said, the Tok'ra really do the dating thing better. I didn't understand it all before I got
married and I sure as heck don't get it now.
I mean, what would anyone see in me?" Jacob eyed his own body as best he could to accentuate his point.
Jack
couldn't resist the lead-in, "Your stunning good looks? Ability to heal most wounds? Oh, and don't forget the voice thing. Chicks really go for that."
Both
men laughed in unison, and the site was enough to crack a huge grin on Sam's
face as she rounded the corner.
"What's so funny?"
Jacob
regained his composure first, "Jack was just pointing out all of my best
features."
"Starting
with your hair, of course." She
had to smile at both of them. Laughing
and drinking. A casual observer
wouldn't have any idea what they all did for a living. How many times they had saved the
world.
Less
than subtly, Jacob put his beer bottle down and made some excuse about wanting
to eat a decent meal before going back.
He excused himself, but not before giving Jack a look that clearly said
"Go for it."
Sam
didn't miss the exchange, and as soon as her father was out of earshot, she had
to ask. "What was that all
about?"
Jack
shook his head- flattered on the one hand that Jacob felt so highly of him- but
still unsure as to what his daughter's feelings were. So instead, he changed the subject. "You know...earlier... when Jonas walked in, I thought you
were going to say something."
There, that left the door open for her.
She
took in a breath and gave him the truth, "I just wondered when you were
leaving to go fishing."
Trying
so hard to tell his mind that she was asking as a friend and nothing more, but
his heart couldn't seem to let go. "I'm not sure. Maybe a few weeks. There are some things I want to do around the house
first." His eyes flickered towards
hers. Waiting for a sign. Anything that
might ask him to stay. Give him a
reason to hope.
But in
typical Sam Carter style, her face didn't register a thing. And if her voice was a bit unsteady as she
spoke, well, that could have been any number of things, right? One beer too many. The chill in the air. Her
relief at finally being able to say goodbye to him. "It's just that..."
She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Unsure.
Hesitant.
Nervous.
Not
things he normally associated with Sam Carter, but then the more he knew her,
the less he felt like he had ever really known her at all.
"...well,
I guess I just mean that..."
She
uncrossed her arms and sat down.
She
took a drink of beer and stood up again.
Finally
she turned to face him.
"There's
a break in the mission schedule in about a month."
Yeaaaaaaaah? He knew that. She knew he knew that. So
why was she still looking at him? Not
saying anything else. Just staring.
Trembling.
Waiting.
Smiling.
"I
have enough leave saved up for a few weeks-"
"Carter-
when have you ever actually used any leave?" If he didn't crack a joke, he would surely crack open.
"Well,
there was that one time when Dad and I visited Mark in San Diego." She looked embarrassed and rightly so.
"That
was almost four years ago!" He was
still exasperated by her refusal to leave on leave.
She was
chewing on her bottom lip. Deciding
whether or not to continue. To try
again. To give them another
chance. To do the one thing that they
had never done before. The thing that
would either bind them together or draw the line in the sand and leave them on
opposite sides. She had ended it before
and it was up to her to start it again.
Or not. GOD! When did it all get so complicated? Well, that was a laugh- when had it ever not
been complicated?
He
sensed her vacillating between two places that he couldn't quite find. Had she really been hinting at going fishing
with him? Maybe his gift had had more
of an effect than he had thought.
Maybe, just maybe...
"I
just thought that if you were going fishing around the same time that SG-1 had
a break that-" She cleared her
throat and continued.
Determined.
Scared.
Hopeful.
"-that
I could tag along."
He was
waiting for the disclaimer. Waiting for
her to invite Teal'c or Jonas. Waiting
for the "but" or for the joke.
For anything that would stop the swelling of his heart that was quickly
rising to his throat. But she didn't
say anything more. For once, Sam Carter
was perfectly silent.
"Oh." Nice comeback. He didn't want to act too excited just in case he was misreading
this. The last time he had let himself
get caught up in her, she had dropped him like a hot potato. He couldn't take it twice.
"Unless
you were going to go sooner. Or just
wanted to go alone."
She was
giving him an out. An easy excuse so
that they both knew it was over. But
Jack O'Neill had never taken the easy way out.
And he would be damned if he was going to give up now. Just because the first time didn't work out
so well was no reason to give up forever.
Not on her or them. And so he
did what he always did. He joked.
"I
could use an alibi. Just in case Kinsey
gets himself shot again."
She
laughed.
He
smiled.
He
reached for her hand.
Her
fingers met his.
And for
the first time in years, she couldn't wait to take her leave.
Yes,
this is the end to Somewhere Out There, but, muse willing, I'm planning a
sequel series for later. Thanks for
sticking with it!