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Title: One Week (1&2/13)
Author: Lisa Yaeger
E-mail: lisayaeger@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13 (I don’t have kids, I don’t know what to rate it!)
Category: Some angst, Romance, maybe a little humor?
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Content Warnings: mild language, hints of sexuality
Summary: Sam is sick, goes to the cabin, feelings are admitted- you get the idea
Season/sequel: S6
Spoilers: Up through the present, although I’ve only seen seasons 3-6. I’m know this is not 100% accurate, and I’m not a doctor, so…
Archive: SJD & whoever wants to- I’d be flattered!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Status: Not sure how many parts
this will be, but I couldn’t get this story out of my head.
Author's
notes: It’s my first fic- be kind. As you read, each paragraph marks a change
from Sam’s thoughts/words to Jack’s.
You’ll get the idea, unless this really sucks, in which case you’ll stop
reading anyway!
Feedback:
Welcomed
Date:
8-9-2002
Part One
A feeling of déjà vu hit her as she rounded the corner of the cabin. She shook it off- how was that possible since she had never even been to Minnesota before, let alone his cabin? Straight ahead, with his back to her, he sat facing the lake, fishing pole in hand. Still not able to shake the feeling that something like this had happened before, that she had done this before, she asked, “So, this is the place you’ve been threatening to bring me?”
He turned around without fully comprehending that the woman who had just spoken was actually standing near him, not in a dream, but actually there. He barely whispered, “Carter.”
She took a step forward, and then another- each feeling suspended in time and oddly familiar, yet completely surreal. “I can see why- it’s beautiful.”
Suddenly aware that this was not a dream, Jack pulled himself back to reality: “I thought you had work to do.” Again, he thought. He stood up and took two steps closer to her.
At that moment, a soft breeze blew the trees and the rustle of the leaves signaled to Sam that the few moments of the “been here done this” feeling she had just experienced were over. A small shiver of – what? something she couldn’t identify-- ran through her, and then a wave of courage finally allowed her to speak, “Something came up that I needed to talk to you about.”
“You found me- shoot.” He sounded defensive to his own ears. What couldn’t wait until their leave was up? Stop that- why couldn’t he just be glad that she was there? Why did it have to be so hard all of the time?
“Do you think we could take a walk or something? I’m tired of sitting- the ride really seemed to take forever.” Her back hurt, her legs ached and her head was pounding, or was that her heart she heard in her ears? It had been hard to tell for the past few years.
“Sure.” She did look tired, and truth be told, he couldn’t remember how long he had been sitting in that chair “fishing” trying to think of anything but her. Nothing new about that, just a different day. Except this was different-she was really here. If this was a dream…
“Sir?”
“Sorry- just thinking about the fish I’ll miss while we’re gone.” He smiled a little to make up for his tone earlier. He didn’t want to chase her off just after she got there.
They started down a well-worn dirt path. The leaves were already beginning to turn on a few trees, the undeniably signal that summer was coming to a close. The blue sky was beginning to fade too early, and she didn’t want to waste any more time before getting it out in the air: “Do you remember after our last mission when we all reported to Janet, before the briefing?” It came out in one breath, almost as one word.
He nodded, not at all sure where this was going and only half-listening- they did that after every mission. Not at all prepared for what was coming next, his mind started to wander.
“Well, Janet found some unusual results in a few of the tests she ran on me, so she asked me to come back the next day so she could run another set.”
Okay, so now he was listening. Is that why she said she hadn’t been able to come when he had asked- for what, the third time?? She had actually looked like she wanted to go, and he thought maybe she had just gotten better at lying. Maybe he really had seen regret in her eyes… Wait, what kind of tests was she talking about?
“So, I went back, and Janet had called another doctor there, Dr. Anderson. He’s an oncologist- the one who looked at Dad, actually.”
Damn those “ologists.” He could never remember which kind was which, and why would Dad need a- what was it again??- when Selmak could heal everything?
She continued, “It hasn’t spread as far as they can tell. It seems to be localized in my thyroid, which is good as cancers go, and it seems that this is not entirely uncommon in women my age. Of course, of all of the things to inherit from Dad, this isn’t the one I would have picked.”
He had stopped listening and walking at “cancer.” What the hell?? Why did he suddenly feel dizzy and why was his stomach so tight? Cancer?? What the hell?? He hoped he looked better than he felt, and tried to start walking again. Not so fast, his body wouldn’t cooperate. He had to sit on a nearby rock for support and called for her to stop, “Sam.”
She turned to find him a few paces behind her, looking a little pale, lowering himself on a rock to the side of the path. She walked over and sat on the path facing him, her back to the falling sun with a glimpse of a lake just ahead. It was probably better to give him the rest of the news sitting down anyway, so she continued, “It was kind of a shock, but it actually explained so much about my physical condition- feeling tired, losing weight, being sick- all symptoms of a hormonal imbalance that should have been regulated by my thyroid. Janet will need to remove the cancerous part, and then she’ll begin trying to find the right balance of hormone replacement drugs. It may take several months, but other than taking a pill a day for the rest of my life, things should go on as normal for me.”
Jack kept studying her face as her words were swimming in his head- hormones, thyroid, pills. What did it all mean? Was she going to be okay? Why did it feel like there was another shoe looming just over his head? She wouldn’t have come all the way up here to just tell him that she would be fine in a few months, save for a daily dose of- oh my god! She wasn’t saying that, she couldn’t be saying that- no, no, no!!! Speaking with a voice that suspiciously sounded like it belonged to someone else, he could only say, “You can’t be on SG-1.” There it was, the other shoe- and the laces were strangling him.
He had been listening, and he understood what she hadn’t said. Probably better than what she had said, if she knew him at all. And she did, that’s why she had come. Finally. “You know the rules- If I need a daily dose of anything, I would be putting myself, and everyone else on the team, at risk. Neither Janet nor Dr. Anderson would ever authorize my return to a Stargate team, and that, as they say, is that.”
Finding some sort of equilibrium, he managed to sit a little straighter, the knots in his stomach loosening just a bit. Not being one to say much anyway, he really didn’t know what to say at a time like this- not to her, not about this, not yet. So, he just looked at her, but in a way that said it all, just as it had once before, when a different kind of wall separated them.
Recognizing it, a smile passed her face and she quietly said, “The odds are much better this time.”
She looked at him with a calmness he couldn’t understand. The sun continued to set behind her. Had they been here 5 minutes or an hour- he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything right now other than that he was angry. What false god had decided to do this to her?? Why not him?? He wasn’t the one the world needed to survive- her brain was still worth way more than his, hell, than anyone’s! Before blurting something out that he knew he would regret later, he stopped himself and took another look at her. She was waiting for him to realize something- he knew that look. She didn’t just come here to tell him bad news; in fact, she wouldn’t come here to do that. She would have waited until their leave was over, and they were all back on base. She came here, finally, because she could. Because there weren’t anymore reasons not to come. Not on SG-1; not under his command; no more regs; no more excuses. Anger turned to fear in a heartbeat: “What are you going to do?” Please don’t say going back to the Pentagon.
“I’m not sure. I’m not sure how long it will be before I feel like ‘me’ again, and I don’t want to impose an arbitrary timeframe for recovery. The last thing I need is that kind of pressure. That’s why I turned in my resignation to General Hammond before I came. It wouldn’t be fair for me to keep everyone waiting around while Janet tries to get the dosages right. I think, for the first time, I’m going to take some time off, and then when I’m ready, go back to doing something I really love and am pretty good at- being a scientist.”
So, she didn’t say Pentagon, but she didn’t say “staying on base to study doohickeys” either. “The Stargate Program needs you, Sam, whether or not you are in the Air Force.”
She laughed- a small, but real laugh. “You and General Hammond must get your lines from the same book. He said pretty much the exact same thing before I left.”
Way to go, George! “What did you say to him?” He could almost feel his legs again and was that hunger he felt in his stomach? But panic lurked not far beneath.
“I told him that I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. He looked really relieved- I think he thought I was considering going back to the Pentagon or something. Can you imagine going back to that after everything we’ve seen? It would be so… dull.”
“Even for a scientist?” She smiled a lot at that. She started to get up, sensing his inability to not do something for much longer. They turned around to walk back to the cabin. The sun was almost below the horizon.
Part Two
He spoke first once the cabin was in sight, “Are you hungry?”
“Definitely. In fact, the only orders I had from Janet were- rest and eat, a lot.”
Now for the part he was dreading from the moment he saw her standing on the dock, “How long can you stay? “ He knew it was selfish given that her health had to come first, but a few days couldn’t make that much of a difference, could it?
“The surgery is scheduled for the 16th, and Janet wants me back the weekend before.”
Today was the 7th, so about a week. He could handle a week. He would have preferred two or three, especially given her… condition… but he wasn’t really given a choice, and neither was she. So, that meant they had to make the most of this time, but he didn’t really know what that meant. He refused to consider the possibility that this would be the last week that she would… NO! He wouldn’t think like that, and he wouldn’t act like that. Some part of his brain switched into military mode, and he stuffed the nagging doubts and questions away. There was work to do; it might only be dinner, but it would get him through a couple of hours until he could sort things out in his head.
She could actually feel him turn off his emotions- that must have come in handy for black ops stuff. Or maybe he could do it because of that. Which came first, she wondered? At any rate, she could see he was determined to keep busy doing any thing, and so she wandered out to her bike to get her stuff. The next few hours were taken up by eating, cleaning and unpacking. All in all, not a bad way to spend an evening when the past few days had been doctors, and tests and more tests that only led to bad news. By the time darkness came, she was literally exhausted and welcomed the peace and quiet of being in the middle of nowhere.
At some point during cleaning up from dinner, Jack realized they hadn’t spoken about “it” since Sam told him she had to be back before the 16th. That had been over two hours ago. He still didn’t know what to say, but he couldn’t stand the silence- odd, he thought, since it was always silent when he was here alone. He needed to hear her voice, he then realized, to make sure she was OK. Nice try, he thought again, he needed to hear her to make sure he was OK. The most frightening thought in the world occurred to him in that split second: if the only person who could make him feel like everything would be alright, wasn’t alright herself, then what in the hell was he going to do. Not just for right now, not just today, not just here, but what about tomorrow, and next week, and after that. Not for the first time today, he felt like he was swallowing his heart and forced himself to act “normal.” What the hell was that anyway? Well, whatever it was, it sure wasn’t this. “Coffee?”
“No, thanks. I think I might just be tired enough to sleep really well, and I don’t want to chance it by having something with caffeine. I think I’ll take a shower, if you don’t mind.”
“Help yourself- there are towels in the linen closet in the hall.” Good, he thought. Then he could finally sort out all of the stuff going on in his head and figure out what to think. Then that voice contradicted him again, saying something about trying to figure out what was going on in his heart and figuring out what to feel! Whatever!
A shower hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Not only was she washing away the hours of dirt and dust from the trip, but she had managed to clear her head a little. So far so good, she thought. He hadn’t reacted badly to her news. In fact, he had barely reacted at all. That was better than the alternative, which she considered a real possibility on the way up. She had thought he would hit the roof- why couldn’t Janet do more? Why wouldn’t the Tok’ra healing device work? How could she just give up on SG-1? The Air Force? All good and legitimate questions, and the only answer that he might understand was that she didn’t want any alien thing “healing” or invading her anymore. She just wanted to be human for once- relying on her friend and doctor to make the best choices for her health. It was a small price to pay for what she hoped would be the most important gain of her life. Funny, she never would have considered herself to be one of those people that believed in fate or destiny. But, could the alternate universes really be wrong? When a mind stamp capable of deceiving hundreds of people couldn’t make them forget each other; when they didn’t even know they were lying, but somehow their bodies and minds gave it away during that damn Za’tarc testing… Even Samantha Carter, Ph.D. could only be blind for so long (almost 6 years to be exact, and that didn’t even include the time she spent studying him, uh… the Stargate, before she was part of SG-1). Turning off the water, she felt dizzy and knew it would take every ounce of strength she had just to get dressed and go to bed.
This can’t be real, he kept repeating over and over. She’s not here, she’s not sick, she’s not not under my command. Things were going so well this morning, weren’t they? Well, not really- where did that voice keep coming from?? He had spent the better part of the drive up here and the majority of the time since arriving on trying to figure out why she hadn’t come. He thought they had made up for some lost ground since, well, the “confession.” He really thought she would come with him this time, and now he knew why she didn’t, and he wished for any other reason than the one he had been given. Suddenly his senses were on fire- the bathroom door had just opened and before he could hear or see her, he smelled the most intoxicating wave of warm, humid air float his way carrying a sweet mixture of soap and shampoo and Sam. Damn, this was going to get hard. Harder than what? Ignoring it for nearly however many years? Or realizing he may only have a week left to do something about it? Again, not great choices, but they were the ones he was left with.
She turned the corner and saw him jump to his feet and come toward her with a look she hadn’t seen in awhile. Was the room spinning before or after he touched her? She wasn’t sure, but damn if it didn’t feel good to have him pick her up and carry her to bed. Was it his bed or hers? She was really confused but too tired to say anything.
My god, she looks pale. He saw her walk unsteadily from the bathroom and got to her just before she fell. Why did he bring her into his room? Not thinking clearly, just acting on instinct. Maybe that answer was actually worse than something believable, like his bed was bigger. At any rate, there she was, lying on his bed, in his room, at the cabin. How many nights had he laid awake wishing for this, fantasizing about this? What the hell was that? How could there be a leak in the ceiling? And when did it start to rain? And, wait, it’s not raining, and there isn’t a leak, except in his heart- where she lives. Only what if she *doesn’t* live? My god, when will it stop raining in here??
How many hours passed before she opened her eyes? It was still dark, but the moon was almost full and the curtains were open so she could make out the room clearly. She was in his bed after all, and there he sat in a chair by the bed just like that time after that thing had left her. She saw his eyes were wide open and staring at her, “Thanks for the ride to bed.”
“Anytime.” He was searching for a witty remark, but they escaped him now. This was much too real and serious even for him to be sarcastic. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better than before I almost fell over.” She managed a smile and found herself wishing more than anything that he was lying next to her. It wasn’t “wrong” anymore, and she couldn’t help but be afraid that this week would slip by without either one of them making the first move. It was hard to undo all those years of repressing every want, every need, every minute of every day. But what if this week was really it? What if Janet was wrong, and the cancer had spread? What if, what if, what if?? She felt hot tears spring out of her eyes and roll down her cheeks before she could even lift a hand to wipe them away. Why did every part of her body feel so heavy?
Please don’t cry, he silently begged her. He had just managed to stop, and wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t completely break down if he started again. He rose from his chair and went to sit on the side of her bed. Those amazing eyes, filled with tears and fear, and something else he hadn’t seen before, were looking up at him through wet lashes. He wiped away the shed tears and rested the palm of his hand on her cheek.
She turned her head into his hand and kissed his palm. She found the strength to lift her hand and clasp his wrist. Were his eyes actually red? From crying? Maybe he had reacted after all. Wouldn’t that be typical Jack O’Neill to wait until no one could see or hear, and then afterward, it would be like it never happened. Except she was pretty sure it had- sure enough to call him on it, and sure enough he wouldn’t run away. Not now. “You’ve been crying.”
“Am I the pot or the kettle in this scenario?” OK, so not all of the sarcasm was gone. That was probably good, given the situation. Did she actually just kiss his hand? He couldn’t remember the last time her lips touched any part of his body. Was it as long as that time loop? Did that even count? Hell, yes, it counted. It meant for the first time he was sure she had those kind of feelings- feelings she wouldn’t ignore if the circumstances were different. But that had been two years ago. She couldn’t still have those feelings for him, could she? Why not? Didn’t he for her? Weren’t they even stronger, if that was possible?
She smiled, but was still unwilling to let the moment pass without something else happening. What else, she wasn’t sure- of course, she knew what she wanted to have happen, but she was too tired, and emotions were too raw on both sides for that right now. “Why?”
“Why what?” He grew tense at her probing into his emotional state and feigned innocence as a defense mechanism.
“Are you that upset about having to find a replacement for me on SG-1?” Easy does it…
“Yeah, that’s it. I hate the idea of searching through all of those personnel files. What if I end up with a scientist again?” Replace her? Now that was impossible in every way.
“I figured.” She loosened her grip on his wrist, and his fingers slid down the side of her cheek to hold her hand. She couldn’t let him leave- it would be too easy to pack the emotions they both had away again. It was now or never.
He knew he had to get out of there before he couldn’t, “I’d better let you get back to sleep. If I’m gone when you wake up, I just went to the store. I need to stock up if you’re going to follow doctor’s orders.” He started to rise.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. All’s fair in love and war (which was this again?). Whatever cliché worked, insert it here, because he wasn’t going anywhere if she could help it. “Don’t go.” Simple and straight to the point-he would understand that.
What could he say? That he had to go before he ended up… what? Touching her, kissing her, making love to her? All of those things were options to him now, save for the one thing he never thought he would say to a woman again, but he couldn’t do that either, could he? So, a close approximation would have to do, “Sam, I just can’t lose someone else that I…”
“Care a lot about?” She finished the thought for him. “So does that mean that you can’t care about me anymore or that you can’t lose me? The problem with that, Jack, is that you don’t get to decide whether I get ‘lost’ this time. I don’t get to decide either. It’s up to someone or something else to determine when and if I recover. So, if, knowing that, you want to stop caring about me because it’s the only thing you can control, then you should leave. But, there’s a problem with that, too, and I think you know it.”
Damn, did she know every thought in his head? Yeah, probably. But, darned if he wasn’t going to put up a good fight, “And that would be?”
“That you can’t stop caring- I can’t either for that matter. If we could have done that, then I’m guessing we both would have years ago and saved ourselves the pain. At least I know I’ve been hurt, on more than one occasion, and if it were at all possible for me not to care about you- and believe me I tried really hard several times- then I probably wouldn’t have joined SG-1 to begin with.” Oops- did she really just say she had feelings for him before she met him? Maybe he wouldn’t hear that part. Please don’t let him hear that part…
“What did you just say?” That she cared about him before coming to Colorado? How was that possible?
“Which part?” Maybe she could throw him off. Why couldn’t she cry now? Damn it!
“You know which part. The part about you caring for me before joining the team. What did you mean by that?” He was demanding an answer and turning the tables at the same time. Not fair, but all’s fair in love and war, right? Well, he was always better at war.
Nice try, Jack. “Alright, I’ll answer that question, but I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. I’ve come this far- literally and figuratively- and we either end up together tonight or not at all.” Where the courage came from, she never did know, but divine intervention was not out of the question as she sat up in bed, stared him straight in the eyes, and laid her heart out for him to have, or for him to walk away from, but she was betting on the former, “You already know that I spent two years studying this project and that first mission before I got here. Well, ‘studying’ is an understatement. I read, re-read and committed to memory every detail about the project and that mission until I felt like I could have been there. That included practically memorizing the personnel files of everyone involved- yours in particular. I really can’t say why I felt drawn to you then, but I did. When I finally looked up the personal part of your file and found out you were married- well, the truth is- it was the reason I broke off my engagement.” Nothing like the truth, right?
He couldn’t have been more shocked- first the ‘end up together tonight or not at all’ bit- thank god he didn’t faint. And now somehow he’s responsible for breaking up her engagement before he met her, “What the hell?” Oops- was that out loud?
“I just figured if I could feel the way I felt about you then without even having met you and knowing you were married, then I should at least feel that much for the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Only I didn’t feel that way about him. I felt that way about you, a complete stranger for all intents and purposes, and I spent the better part of the next few years trying to make it go away. All it did was get stronger. So, I guess the truth is, I’ve loved you for almost eight years now, and if I’ve only got one week left…” That was it; she had said it all. His turn.
So, that was it. His turn to speak, and his voice wouldn’t work. He just sat there for what felt like an eternity waiting for something to come out. Where was his buddy Thor now? Surprising her, but himself more, he laughed- not a little, not quietly, but a genuine laugh that was most definitely out loud. He just couldn’t believe it, “Not more than 24 hours ago, laying in this bed, the only thoughts occupying my brain were what you would have looked like in a black bikini if you had come up with me, and hoping that it would somehow reveal, finally, where that freakin’ mole is! Now, I have to tell you how I’ve felt about you since I first saw you or risk losing you all together. Of course, the sick irony is that I may lose you anyway.” The laughter had stopped. His eyes were serious and pointed right at hers. He wasn’t sure up until that moment if he had it in him to say it, but in that instant, he knew he didn’t have a choice. She was right, of course, the choice was never really his to make- not in this universe or any other- whether they were infected by a virus or their minds was stamped, whether they knew it or not, the choice had rested in some higher power (since when did he believe in that?), “I love you, too.”
She looked down at the blanket covering her body, and whispered, “I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway.”
The panic that had settled just below since he heard the word ‘cancer’, finally surfaced- had she not told him the truth about the extent of it? What more could there be?? For cryin’ out loud- “What?!?!” He held his breath.
“My bikini is actually blue, and you still couldn’t see my mole.” She smiled.
Part 3
The
tension was broken as she continued to smile at him. The
emotional
anxiety that they had both felt since he turned around on
the
dock and saw her standing there had been completely overwhelming.
Every fantasy and every fear he had were
rolled into one night:
having
her in his bed and knowing he was in her heart, but the
possibility
of losing her just as quickly was creeping up behind him.
Forever the realist, "So, what do we do
now?"
She
yawned her answer and sunk a little more under the covers.
He
chuckled, "Janet would kill me if she knew I kept you up this late.
And frankly, I'm not sure if I'm more scared
of you or her. Those
needles
can be awfully long..." He started
to get up for the second
time
that night, and this time she was too tired to stop him.
As her
eyelids grew heavier, she tried to figure out what he had meant
by
that. Why would he be afraid of
her? Must be that arm wrestle
challenge,
she thought. She drifted off to a
peaceful sleep with a
smile
still on her lips.
He got
up to close the window- it was getting cold at night now. A
shiver
ran up his spine as he realized the seasons were changing, and
he
couldn't help but wonder how this new- relationship?!- fit into the
scheme
of nature. God, Jack, you must be tired
to be thinking like
that. He started to head for the door, but he
caught a glimpse of her
out of
the corner of his eye as he turned around.
The part of his
mind
that could actually process the thought of her- well, not being
here
forever- wouldn't let him waste a moment.
She was right, 'if
I've
only got one week left,' then every second counted. He settled
back
into the chair where he had watched her sleep earlier. At least
it had
stopped raining inside.
True to
his word, when she woke up the next morning he was already at
the
store, which was good considering she couldn't live off of Fruit
Loops
for a week even if he could. She got
out of bed, relieved that
she was
steady on her feet this time, and started to get dressed. One
large
denim shirt and a pair of black leggings later, she stepped
outside
onto the deck with a couple of journals and some coffee. The
morning
was still cool, but quite refreshing.
The irony that she felt
more
alive at that moment than she had in years was not lost on her.
She
quickly became engrossed in the latest techno-babble and didn't
even
hear him pull up.
He had
never spent more than $50 at the grocery store in his life. He
was
most decidedly the kind of guy who gets in the express lane and
pays
cash for beer and a steak. Maybe a
potato, too, if he was really
hungry. He had realized while going through the
aisles that he knew
certain
things that she liked- diet soda, lemon chicken (why was that
anyhow?)-
but it was hard to shop for someone you didn't know really
well. Wondering how Sara managed when they
probably knew each other
half as
well, especially in the beginning, he was amazed that a food
bill
could be over $200 for 2 people for a week.
He couldn't have
cared
less about the money, it was just a new experience. It was all
new
territory, and while that was fine on a mission, it was more than
a
little unnerving in "real" life.
He carried two of the ten bags of
groceries
inside and watched her through the sliding glass doors as
she was
reading something. Probably not a comic
book, he mused, and
brought
the rest of the bags in as she scribbled notes in the margins
of the
journals.
She
heard kitchen cabinet doors closing and went inside to find him
putting
away what looked like the contents of a mini-mart on the
shelves. "Is there anything left *inside* the
grocery store?"
"I
couldn't let my guest starve, now could I?" He was glad to see
that color
had returned to her face and that she seemed to have shaken
the
exhaustion from last night.
"Well,
I hope you have invited Teal'c back so he can eat some of
this!" She started sorting through the piles for
something resembling
breakfast.
He
waved her away explaining that he was going to make breakfast and
she
should just go back to whatever fascinating thing it was that she
had
been reading. Of course, he said
fascinating in a way that made
her
know he was sure that it was really boring.
She
shrugged her shoulders and went back outside.
If he wanted to
cook
for her, why in the world would she interfere?
Besides that
article
she was reading had actually been fascinating...
Another
meal completed and cleared away, he asked, "So, what do you
want to
do today? And just so you know, working
or reading about
work-related
things is not an option."
"I
thought fishing was the only activity available to your guests.
That
and getting eaten alive by bugs, if Teal'c is right." She
laughed
a little at the thought of Teal'c fishing.
"He
really has developed a sense of humor over the years, hasn't he?"
As of late, Jack was sure he had caught a lot
of smiles passing the
Jaffa's
lips.
"Yeah,
that's one of the things I think I'm going to miss the most."
The
mood in the room changed as instantly as the words were out of her
mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.
I just meant that
because
we won't be working together, I won't see him as much."
"You
know what the good thing about that is, don't you?" He didn't
want
things to start off that seriously so early in the day. There
would
be time for that later. Right now he
just wanted her to have
fun and
feel good. Very, very good.
"What's
that?" She was relieved he didn't
want to talk about "it"
right
now. Maybe later, but not now.
"Since
you won't be working with Teal'c, that means you won't be
working
with me either. And that means that you
can see me more
off-duty. Or is that more of me?"
He gave
her that look- the one with the eyebrows, and she couldn't
help
but giggle. "Is that a promise or
a threat?" She could play at
this
game for a while. After sitting out for
the last few years, she
was
definitely ready for - well, anything!!
"It's
both." He was loving this, "I won't subject you to fishing your
first
day here, but I do believe someone promised me a look at a
certain
blue bikini and a guess at where a certain mole is."
"I
don't recall that at all." Oh yeah,
this was fun, "In fact, I
distinctly
remember telling you that you couldn't see my mole."
"No,
no! You said I couldn't see your mole
with your bikini on. You
didn't
say anything about not seeing it at all."
A minor
technicality,
but it just might work.
"Since
when did you pay such close attention to what I say?" All
right,
so maybe he usually paid attention, he just didn't understand
it
all. Or did he? He deserved a bone, at least, for being a
good
sport,
"But since you made me breakfast, I will demonstrate for you
that my
mole can not been seen with a bikini on."
There, that should
do him
in.
It
did. He watched speechlessly as she
went to change. Sweet!
Part 4
Sam
entered the guest room where she had unpacked all of her stuff last
evening. She hadn't really looked
around then; she had barely had the energy to walk. This time, though, she took note that this must have been
Charlie's room. There really wasn't
anything sitting out that would indicate a little boy used to sleep here, and
she had to resist the urge to snoop to find a picture or a toy or some
indication of his life. She mentally
chastised herself, 'It's none of your business Sam. Just get dressed!' So, after rummaging around, she found the
subject of much debate- a sea blue, classic bra-style top in a soft fabric that
conformed to her extremely well. She was
not as oblivious as people thought to the looks she got from men, on and off the
base. Just because she didn't respond
or talk about it didn't mean she wasn't aware.
Taking a look in the mirror on top of the dresser, she appraised herself
favorably. Deciding to be just a little
evil, she put a sarong around her waist and slid a tank top over her head just
to make him wonder for a little longer...
Packing a journal and some sunscreen in a bag, she headed back out to
the living room.
What
the hell could be taking so long? This
was Carter who could shower, change and be in a briefing room in 8 minutes
flat. Was it that he was impatient at
the thought of what was going on behind that door, or was she really taking
forever? His mind didn't have long to
decide as she emerged from the guest room.
"What's this? Trying to get
out of it, are you?"
"Not
at all- just thought I'd make you suffer until we get to the beach. Are you ready?" She said it with a feigned innocence that he
recognized immediately.
Not
only had he changed, but he had managed to pack a picnic lunch while she was
getting dressed, "I've been ready!
Let's go already!" He
really was getting hot and bothered the more he looked at her and thought about
that damn mole...
The
walk to the sandiest beach around the lake took about 20 minutes. Neither one of them said much, but Jack did
mention a few "landmarks" like which tree was Charlie's favorite to
climb and where the best views of the lake were. She was surprised that he didn't seem to mind talking about the
past when he was here while usually on base or on a mission he would clam up
when asked about it. Of course, she
wasn't much better- how long had it been before she had told the team she had
been engaged? Neither one of them were
going to get an award for being talkative when it came to their personal lives.
He had
forgotten how much he loved it here.
Each time he came up, it got harder and harder to leave. Even though he knew the importance of what
he did, and especially given the past few years of wanting to get back to see
her, it was still difficult to leave the serenity of the woods and the
lake. While he was here, he could
almost fool himself that the world was safe.
"We're here."
They
both dropped their stuff, and he spread out the blanket for them to sit
on. While he was concentrating on
unpacking the water and sunscreen, she removed her tank top and sarong to
reveal the much-discussed bikini. She
heard him gasp and turned around.
"Wow." He really couldn't hold back his appreciate
gaze, and given their discussion the previous night, he didn't see the need to.
"Let
me know if you find it," she smirked, referring to the mole, and settled
on the blanket and began to read.
"Wow." His mind was jello, and his legs weren't
much sturdier, so he sat down and began applying sunscreen. One eye was glued to her, while the other
tried to pay enough attention to put lotion on at least most of his body.
"Turn
around, and I'll do your back."
She was starting to realize just how much he must really have thought
about her in that way up until now- especially now. Not that she hadn't done her fair share of thinking, too, but she
was certainly doing a better job of acting like normal, right? Then why couldn't she actually look at him?
He did
as he was ordered- coherent thought still escaping him, but aware enough of the
situation to realize this was not a dream and hoping to god the water was at
least a little cool. Some shrinkage
might actually be good right now!
"I don't suppose I can return the favor?"
"I
had the forethought to put some on before we left, thanks. You know you are supposed to put it on at
least 20 minutes before you get in the water?" God, were her hands actually shaking from touching him? Like they hadn't touched before, but this
was different. Or rather, their
circumstances were different. And my god, his body was, well, wow.
His
skin was tingling all over, "Then I guess you're stuck with me reading
over your shoulder for the next 20 minutes." His smile couldn't be bigger as he laid down on his stomach next
to her.
She put
down her journal and matched his smile.
She truly had never seen him look so relaxed, and happy. Actually happy, without the pressure of
command or the shadows that always seemed to line his eyes. Something about this place seemed almost
magical, and she decided to just be honest with him, "I've never seen you
like this- you look so happy and carefree.
There's something about being here that really agrees with you."
"I've
been here hundreds of times, but this is the first time I've felt really happy
in a long while- here or anywhere else."
He was sincere and serious.
His
words sent her heart racing. She had
always suspected that beneath his sarcasm and avoidance techniques that he did
feel things very deeply. Hadn't Teal'c said
something like that once? It was true,
at any rate, and she didn't want to give up on his sudden burst of emotional
outpouring, "It's been a long time for me, too." As he gazed at her face with those eyes, she
felt very shy.
"How
long?" He wasn't just talking
about her feeling happy anymore. He
meant the question in more than one way, and he knew she knew it.
She
carefully considered her answer. The
truth was that she had *never* felt like this, and the relationships that she
remembered were cheap imitations of whatever this was. Certainly none of the men (or aliens) she
had encountered since being in SG-1 held a place in her soul like him. Not even Martouf, whom she guessed was
really at the heart of his question, "Longer than you think."
A few
minutes passed as they both stared out over the water considering what had just
transpired. He spoke first with more
than a little hesitation, "You're not going to ask me the same question
back?"
Here it
was- the one period of time in the past six years that she really didn't want
to talk about. The longest three months
of her life spent trying to bring him back to a home that he didn't want to be
brought back to. It felt like the
ultimate betrayal- and not just because of whatever happened between him and
that woman- but because he had given up on them coming to rescue him, given up
in her finding a way. No matter what
the odds, it was the one thing she didn't expect from him. "No. I'm not." She didn't look at him, and she hoped he
didn't hear what she desperately wanted to keep out of her voice: anger and
pain.
He
heard. He reached over and turned her
chin toward him so that she would see he meant it, "It's been longer than
you think for me, too." He
expected some kind of reaction, and was surprised when all he got was a blank
stare in return. He took his hand away
from her face, and wondered how he had misjudged the situation. He guessed that she knew he had slept with
Laira, but he also knew now that that wasn't all she was angry about. So, what...
She
knew herself well enough to know that if she couldn't get past this issue, it
would come up again later. And it would
feel bigger, maybe bigger than they could work out, so she took a breath and
said, "If I had known you didn't want to come home, I could have worked on
something else for 100 days, and we would have waited for the ship to bring you
back in a year." That thought had
played in her head thousands of times since they stepped back through the gate
from Edora.
Damn. So she had heard what he said to Laira that
day. Damn. How in the hell was he supposed to make up for that? The only way he could now, "I'm
sorry."
She
could see he meant it, but she didn't know if it was enough. Yet somehow it had to be. She couldn't go back and change the past,
and neither could he. Deep down, she
suspected that if he hadn't been stuck there, she would never have been forced
to realize her feelings for him so soon.
There had to be a reason it worked out that way. And it wasn't like he had tried to go back
there, was it? She needed to make a
choice to either accept his apology and move forward or resign herself to the
fact that she couldn't forgive him. The
problem was, she knew she could forgive him for anything. She had definitely never felt this
vulnerable, "It's okay." She
could feel her heart begin to accept it.
He
wasn't so sure, "Is it?
Really?" Why did he feel
like he was walking a tightrope? One
wrong step, and he would fall into a place without her that no one could reach.
She
looked at him without a trace of resentment, "Yes, it is."
That
was a close one, but the real test was yet to come. Later. Right now,
"Last one in makes dinner!"
Before
she could process what he was saying, he was 5 leaps ahead of her. She had almost caught up to him, but he
stopped just before reaching the edge of the water, "What is it?"
"I
just realized that either way I lose- if I go in first, I have to eat your
cooking!"
The
words were barely out of his mouth before she pushed him in- just enough for
his legs to get wet, but if looks could kill, he would be a goner, "Now
we're even!" She was in up to her
waist in clear blue water.
"What
for!?!" He was following her out-
his feet now barely touching the bottom.
"For
pushing me through the Stargate the first time. AND you have to eat my cooking!"
The
afternoon passed by with jokes and smiles and personal stories about family,
friends, co-workers... He couldn't
remember the last time he had felt so comfortable with someone or been so open
about his life. They danced around the
intense topics- Charlie, Daniel, Sara, her mom, cancer. He had almost forgot
why she had come, why they could be like this.
Almost. Something in his face
must have betrayed his thoughts.
"Jack,
what is it?" She looked at him
with so much concern, so much love.
He
looked up at the sound of her voice; they were standing on the beach, drying
off from their last swim of the afternoon and getting ready to head back. He was completely caught off-guard by the
emotions that registered on her face.
Even though he had promised himself that things wouldn't get physical
between them until he was sure she was ready, he just couldn't take it anymore.
Taking the two steps that separated them seemed like walking a mile- what
happened next could change everything.
Part
Five
Her
head couldn't register what was going on as quickly as it seemed to be
happening. One minute they were joking
around, the next he looked so serious, and now he was coming toward her. What was that feeling in her stomach- panic?
Fear? Longing? Desire? All of those and
more, she realized as he stood in front of her. So much more.
He took
her face in his hands and leaned down to kiss her lips. Just one, soft kiss. Not demanding or eager. Just gentle and
warm.
The
minute his lips touched hers, the floodgates to her heart opened wide. All of the misgivings she had about coming
up, about having the conversation about her cancer, about telling him how long
she had loved him- they were all gone.
She knew this was it- how it was supposed to feel. Nothing was forced or felt wrong. Just perfect. Completely perfect.
Complete. She opened her eyes in
shock when he pulled away.
Out of
breath and unsure he barely whispered, "I'm sorry." His eyes didn't leave hers.
"For
what?" She honestly didn't know.
"I
should have waited until-"
She cut
him off, "I think we've waited long enough, don't you? Let's go back- I think I owe you a
dinner." She flashed him a grin
before packing up her things.
"I
think you've been holding out on me, Sam." He was drying the dishes while she relaxed on the sofa.
"How
so?" She was full enough from
dinner to burst and was enjoying the cool, crisp air that was blowing in from
an open window. She was already looking
forward to a good night's sleep, but she couldn't help but wonder which bed she
would be in and if she would be alone.
"You're
a pretty good cook. I guess you learned
a thing or two cooking for Dad and Mark, huh?" Maybe he shouldn't bring that up...
She
didn't seem to mind, "I guess I did." She was kind of tired of talking; it had been a long day full of
conversation- some of it pretty loaded.
He
finished up the dishes and came to sit beside her on the couch. He could see the fatigue in her eyes, but
there were some things that couldn't wait any longer, "Thank you."
"It
was only dinner." She couldn't
believe it was that good.
"That's
not what I meant." Three years
later, but there it was. "I didn't
say it then, and I should have. But I
want you to know that I did feel it, even though it didn't seem like it at the
time. I did want to come home. To
you."
Even
though she didn't want to talk about it anymore, she understood that it must
really be eating away at him for him to bring it up again. "What do you
want me to say?" She wasn't angry,
but she didn't know how to get him to believe that she forgave him.
"You
don't have to say anything. I just want
you to know that I will never forget how hard you worked to bring me back or
take for granted what you did. I guess
that was the first time I knew, really knew, that I loved you. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but
there was no other explanation for the emptiness I felt when I thought I would
never see you again. I didn't want to
hold out hope that I would ever see you because I knew that if I didn't- well,
I just couldn't believe there was a chance."
"I
couldn't not believe, or I would have gone nuts. I think Janet was ready to lock me up as it was." They both smiled at that. "You're welcome."
There
was one more thing. He had put it off this afternoon, but he wanted to spend
the night with a clear conscience, preferably with her in his arms, although
this would probably cost him that, but at least without any guilt, "The
night before Teal'c dug through, she and I..."
Could
her heart beat any louder? What was she
supposed to feel? Grateful that it had
only been once? Angry at herself that
she didn't work harder so they could have gotten through one day earlier? No!
She took a breath, and said as evenly as possible, "You don't owe
me an explanation- you didn't then and you don't now. You've apologized and thanked me. That's all I need. Well,
that and a promise that you aren't going back there for some other black ops
mission."
"I'll
do my best, but you know I can't really promise anything." What more could he do? Why was she smiling?
"I
was kidding- about that last part. The
rest I meant. Now can we drop it?"
"Yeah,
we can. But I do want to tell you one
other thing first."
"Go
for it." What could be worse than
finding out the man you've been in love with for eight years spent the night
with some woman?
"Well,
we were pretty drunk that night, and I don't remember much, but I do remember
waking up and being surprised that it wasn't you laying next to me. It must have showed on my face, because she
reminded me that her name wasn't Sam."
"Ouch. You really should stop doing
that." NO! She didn't just say that!!
"Stop
doing what?" He didn't think her
eyes could get any bigger.
"Nothing. I'm just tired. I think I'll get ready for bed now." She got up to go into the bathroom, but he
was too quick. He held her arm, and she
turned back around to face him. Even
the slight pressure of his hand was exciting.
"Stop
doing what?!?!" He wanted to know,
even though he suspected he wasn't going to like it. God, he had never seen anyone so beautiful.
"Stop
calling out the name of a woman that you aren't with."
Why was
she smiling again? "When did I do
that to you?" Did he sleep with
her and not know it? Was she stuck in a
time loop, too? No, he would definitely
remember that, no matter what universe or timeline!
"In
Antarctica. You were pretty delirious at the time, so I pretended I was
Sara. It made you feel better, I
hope." The smile she wore grew
mischievous, "The next time you decide to call out a name, though, first
of all, it had better be mine, and second of all, I had better be there."
"Now
that's a promise I can make and keep."
He couldn't believe how much crap she had put up with for him- he
guessed he didn't know the half of it.
The only thing he could do now was to make every minute count, no matter
how many were left. He swore right then
and there that she would never regret loving him again. And he found himself praying for the first
time in - well, longer than he could remember- that he got to keep his promise
tonight.
Part 6
"Can
I get ready for bed now?" She
glanced down at where his hand still rested on her arm.
"Oh,
yeah." He followed her eyes and
lifted his hold. He watched her walk to
the bathroom and close the door. He
fell back onto the couch. That was
intense- the whole day had been. It was
like they were trying to make up for six years in six days. With only five more to go. He couldn't understand why she had done all
of the things for him that she did- working on that huge doohickey for three months,
without eating or sleeping much, he understood from the gossip around
base. Not to mention figuring out where
Ba'al was keeping him- how had she done that anyhow? And pretending she was Sara?
That must have hurt, even if they hadn't known each other very
long. He thought he knew how many times
she had saved his life, but he was only just beginning to understand what he
owed her. His heart; his soul- how
could they be enough for this amazing, beautiful, brilliant, young woman. Why
did she do it?
She
returned with worn, oversized flannel pajamas on and saw him sitting on the
couch with his hands running absentmindedly though his hair. It was unfair how
men really did look so much better as they got older. Another one of life's many mysteries, she chuckled to herself.
Suddenly
aware of her presence, he turned to see her watching him, and had to ask,
"Why me- all of those times, all of these years- why me?"
"I
guess it's the same thing it's always been." She wasn't going to hold back anymore, "I love you."
He
slowly stood to face her, and repeating his actions from earlier in the day, he
took her face in his hands and kissed her.
Only it wasn't the same at all.
Soft and gentle were replaced by powerful and demanding. Warmth was
replaced by heat. And this time, he
wasn't going to break the contact. His lips were impatient and his tongue was
relentless.
Her
knees actually felt weak. Finally, she
really understood what that saying was all about. Her hands rested in his chest as he pulled her in tightly to
him. She had no idea how much time had
passed, but she became suddenly aware that she was oxygen deprived and pulled
her head back slightly to breathe.
He
didn't loosen his hold on her but waited for her breathing to slow to normal
and asked, "If you don't want this, please tell me now."
She had
never heard that tone of voice from him before, and she was stuck again at how
he must have felt about her all along, "I'm sure." She had never been more sure about anything.
Taking her
hand, he led her into his bedroom.
Clothes were shed slowly and with great care until they both slid under
the covers. Muffled cries and
declarations of love were voiced into the early hours of the morning. When
sleep took them both, it was with a peaceful contentment that neither had known
before.
****************************
Waking
first, she watched him breathe. He
really did look like a big kid, and she noticed the sharp contrast between the
calmness in his face and the violent scars that were scattered on his
chest. She couldn't begin to imagine
the hells he had endured. She shuddered
knowing that they may not all be in the past- none of them knew what awaited
them anytime they went out on a mission, never mind the tragedies that could happen-
hell, had happened- at home.
"Are
you going to stare at me all morning, or make me breakfast, woman?" Opening his eyes, he lost the battle not to
grin widely at that.
"Oh,
no! I'm not about to follow your orders
anymore- you want breakfast, pour your own cereal into a bowl!" She pulled the covers more tightly around
her to defend against an attack she hoped was coming.
"Cereal? Forget it!
I'm thinking eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast, coffee, freshly squeezed
juice..." As he spoke, he rested his head on one hand while tracing the
chain of a necklace she was wearing with the other, "I didn't notice that
before. It's really pretty." God, was it from that damn alien? He probably made it from her blender.
"Thanks. The diamond was from my mom's engagement
ring. Dad had the stone reset into the
necklace for my graduation. As for
breakfast, that menu sounds great. Let me
know when it's ready." She turned
away from him on her side pretending to try to go back to sleep.
"All
right, all right. I'll cook, but only
because you made dinner and only if you finally show me where that freakin'
mole is!" He started tugging at
the covers trying to get closer to her to get a look at the few remaining
places he hadn't seen in daylight.
She squirmed
in a half-hearted attempt to stop him.
He finally lifted a corner of a sheet and stuck his head underneath,
"Ah ha!" There it was, on her
left hipbone, just where the side of her bikini bottom had hit. Mesmerized by the object of so much thought,
he circled it with his fingers over and over.
Was
there any thing that man could do that wouldn't turn her on? She pulled the
cover over her head, "Breakfast can wait."
This
time he woke first, and as promised, he started cooking. Noticing the dreary day that gray clouds and
drizzle promised, he thought about going into town. There was something he needed to buy, and it would be a nice way
to do something together that "normal" people did for a change.
She
came out from the bedroom dressed back in her flannel pj's and took note of the
weather conditions, "So, what do you do up here on days like
this?" She was surprised that
reading her journals didn't actually appeal to her right now. This must be what relaxed feels like, she
thought.
Putting
breakfast on the table, he hoped she would go for his plan, "I thought we
could go into town, maybe have lunch, do some shopping?" He almost held his breath- his mission
seemed urgent all of a sudden as he spied the necklace again.
"I
never thought I would hear you suggest shopping as a way to pass the day, but I
think it sounds nice." She
followed his gaze down to her necklace again and fingered the stone.
Her
action broke his gaze, and he looked at her a little embarrassed, "Sorry,
I was just thinking about what you said earlier." He stopped for a minute to be sure of what
he wanted to say and to be sure he was ready to say it, "About the time
you were getting that necklace, I had a 5 year old son."
"Jack,
you can't tell me this is the first time it's occurred to you that you're older
than I am." Did he really care
about that? Her grandpa had been about
as much older as her grandma, and they were married for 52 years. Of course, they had started earlier.
"No,
of course not. It's just that I never,
well, I've never slept with anyone who wasn't old enough to remember where they
were when Kennedy was killed."
"I
remember perfectly well where I was when JFK Jr.'s plane went down." Her joke broke the tension, but where was he
going with this?
"I
just think you should think about the fact that I'm old and graying
and..."
"And
amazing in bed and extremely good-looking, and best of all, you're already
broken-in." She cleared away the
dishes from the table and started to head toward the bathroom to shower.
Did she
just say 'amazing in bed?' Wait a
minute, "What do you mean 'broken-in'?" Good-looking, huh? Well,
he had to admit he wasn't in bad shape.
"I
just mean that since you've already been around the block, I won't have to do
as much training. You know, things like remembering my birthday-"
"Training?!?! That does it!" He sprinted to her and reached the bathroom
door just before she did. "I'm
going to have to wash your mouth out with soap for that comment." His eyes suggested he actually had other
ideas about using soap.
"A
shower for two then?"
"Oh
yeah!"
Part 7
He
tried to think back to the last time he had spent a day with a woman like this-
just hanging out, laughing, talking, enjoying the lapses in conversation as
much as the sound of her voice. When
had he turned into a hopeless romantic?
Well, not in a Hallmark kind of way, but in a
your-happiness-means-more-to-me-than-my-own kind of way. That was worth more than flowers and candy,
right?
"How
long until we get into town?" She
could feel herself starting to get drowsy- the motion of the truck with the
gray sky made a nap very appealing.
"It's
about another 20 miles. You can turn on
the radio if you want."
"No,
thanks. I'm fine- just enjoying the
ride." She smiled and became lost
in her own thoughts as the scenery flew by.
Her smile
lit up his day. If someone had told
Jack O'Neill at that moment that it was a cloudy day, he would have told them
they were crazy. Shaking his head, he
contemplated for the one-millionth time since meeting her about why the
fraternization rules existed. He hadn't really understood before last night the
consequences of loving someone under your command. Oh, he understood the part about showing favoritism or giving
special attention to someone, but it was more than that. He knew, without a doubt, that just as
surely as he was able to order her into life-threatening situations before, he
couldn't do it now. Not ever
again. There was something so different
about knowing you cared about someone- even more than he was supposed to- and
admitting it, emotionally and physically to them, and to yourself. It wouldn't matter the cost to himself, his
team or even the war against the Go'auld, in the split decision of a battle
situation, his heart and mind wouldn't be able to react beyond his need to keep
her safe. He would only know that he
had to protect her at all costs. She
would have become his Achilles' heal, and he would have resented her for it,
not to mention it would be the most unfair thing he could do to her and her
career. It was odd the way things
turned out, he pondered. If Charlie
hadn't died, he wouldn't have been sent on the Abydos mission; Sara wouldn't
have left him; he wouldn't have met Sam.
If she hadn't gotten cancer...
It was
odd the way things turned out, she mused.
She thought back to the death of her mom and could hardly believe it had
been over twenty years now. If that
accident hadn't happened, she probably wouldn't have worked so hard to please
her dad- probably wouldn't have joined the Air Force at all! Never have heard about the Stargate or met
one Colonel Jack O'Neill. That had
changed everything. And if she hadn't
gotten cancer... Her thoughts were broken
by the truck pulling into a parking spot and stopping.
"Are
you OK? You looked like you were deep in thought for the past few
miles." He wondered how she was
holding up. They hadn't really
revisited the topic of her illness since she had shown up. He didn't want her to dwell on it, but he
wondered how she was dealing with it.
He wished he was better at these kinds of things, and decided he would
bring it up again before the week went by.
"You
know us scientists- always thinking about something or other." She wasn't in the mood to discuss her
isn't-it-funny-how-everything-works-out train of thought. If he didn't laugh at her, which she guessed
he might, then he would surely think about how that was true in his own life:
Charlie, Sara, Adydos, her. It would
hit too close to home. Suddenly, spying
a red "Shoe Sale" sign across the street, she started to pick up the
pace.
"Whoa! Where are you going?" He couldn't figure out the sudden burst of
energy that hit her- she looked half-asleep on the way there. As she started to drag him toward the sign,
he saw it. Just a sparkle in his
peripheral vision, but that was it! He
let her hand go, and stood firm, "You go ahead, I'll meet you over there
in a few minutes."
"Oh,"
she looked like a disappointed child, "I'll wait. What do you need to do in there?" She motioned to the storefront that he was
standing in front of.
"My
watch hasn't been keeping great time, so I thought I would get a new battery
while I was here. You go ahead, really,
it should only take a few minutes."
Why was his stomach suddenly tight at the thought of her going across
the street by herself? She had defeated
System Lords, for cryin' out loud, and now he was nervous about her shopping at
a shoe sale alone? 'Get a grip, Jack'
he thought to himself. He knew
logically he couldn't be with her every minute of every day, and even if he was,
he certainly didn't know how to ward off all of life's evils- on earth or any
other planet. He just couldn't help but
think that in any situation, her chances of surviving were better with him that
without him, and vice versa. A sobering
thought given that he would continue to go off-world without her. Except that he knew he wasn't really going
anywhere without her ever again, at least the part of her that was in his heart
and his soul.
"See
you in a bit, then." She was
actually jogging now.
He
laughed to himself at her excitement over shoes as he waited to make sure she
entered the store safely and turned to go into the jewelry store.
"Can
I help you?" A man who looked to
be in his mid-to-late sixties walked up to the counter at the sound of the bell
on the door that had just opened.
"Yeah,
actually I need two things. I wondered
if you could change the battery in this for me?" He took of his watch and laid it on the glass counter top.
"Sure,
we have these in stock," the man looked over the numbers on the back,
"and what's the other?"
"I
saw a ring in the window, and I wondered if I could look at it?"
"Of
course- let me just pop off the back here, and I'll be right back with a new
battery."
Jack
started looking around the store. There
were some nice pieces in here, he guessed, although this was definitely not his
department. After a few initial
attempts at buying Sara jewelry, and never seeing her wear any of it, he had
given up and went for the more practical things that she seemed to want for
around the house. He actually couldn't
remember buying anything in a jewelry store since the last time he needed a
battery. Convenient excuse!
The man
returned with a new battery and replaced the old one. Securing the back and resetting the time, he handed it back. "Which ring was it?"
"It
was silver, I think, with a blue stone- a sapphire maybe?" How the hell
was he supposed to know which was which?
"Oh,
this one!" The man was obviously
excited about Jack's choice as he pulled it from the window display. "This ring was designed by a friend of
mine who just came back from Egypt, actually.
He said he was 'inspired' by the temples and the artifacts. If you don't like the sapphire, he can do it
with an emerald or a ruby. He can also
do it in yellow gold, but this is platinum.
It's really beautiful. Funny you
should ask for it."
"Why's
that?" Jack wondered if this could
get any stranger- a designer who was inspired by artifacts? Is that what Daniel had meant when he said
that everything would work out?
"It's
just that my friend liked it so much, he almost didn't want to sell it. But I told him that I thought it was too
special for him to keep to himself.
Unique, is the word I think I used."
"Well,
it's for a unique person, so I guess that works out." Hadn't he just been saying that earlier, how
things turned out for the best.
"I'll take it."
Not ten
minutes later than when he had watched her run to the sale sign, he followed
her steps and saw a madhouse of women jostling each other to try to find a
"bargain" in their own size.
This was crazy! He decided to
wait on the bench outside the store until she found him.
She
spied him sitting on the bench, patiently waiting for her to come out. She brought two pairs of boots, a pair of
flats and a pair of pumps to the register.
The transaction complete, she managed to squeeze past the crowd with her
two large bags and flopped down next to him, "Sorry to keep you waiting. It was a little busy in there."
"I
gathered. Do you want to grab a
sandwich, or did you need to do some more damage to your credit card
first?" He was one to talk. He hadn't spent this much on his truck, let
alone an item that fit in his pocket.
Did 4 carats and platinum really add up to a down payment on a
house? The funny part of it was, he
truly didn't care. This was definitely
love. He smiled at that.
She
noticed. "What's so funny? I guess you thought I wasn't a shopper,
huh? Well, it's good for you to see the
real me now." She smiled right
back.
"Actually,
I was thinking how nice this is, and how I don't want it to end."
He
caught her off guard, and she blushed, "Me either."
"Come
on- let's put your stuff in the truck and get you back to the sales. I don't want to be responsible for slowing
the national economy."
Part 8
Six
hours later, Jack pulled up to the cabin, and once again, the
motion
of the truck parking woke Sam from a half-asleep state, "We're
back?"
"Think
you can stay awake long enough to make it inside?" He was kind
of
joking, but he had noticed how tired she seemed in the afternoon.
He
guessed he was partly responsible given their late night. Thoughts
of that
flooded his mind as he went around to help her out.
She
nearly fell out the door when he opened it, and it was obvious she
was a
lot more tired than she was letting on.
He picked her up with
only a
mild protest, which was a sign in and of itself, and carried
her to
the sofa. After covering her with a
blanket, he took his cell
phone
outside to call Janet.
******************************************
She
picked up in two rings, "Dr. Frasier."
"Doc-
guess who?"
"My
favorite patient?" Or was that her
favorite *in*patient?
"Funny. Very funny." Be nice, Jack, she has long, long needles.
"Look,
Sam is up here, and she's really tired a lot.
I wondered if
you
think I should bring her back?"
So,
it's Sam now, huh? And she's obviously
told him. Temporarily
pushing
away her hope for happiness for her friends, she went into
doctor
mode, "Does she have a fever? Is
she eating? How does she
feel?"
"I
didn't check the fever part. She's been
eating better than I've
seen
her in years, but who knows how she feels.
She doesn't exactly
tell me
where it hurts, you know?"
Boy,
did she know- they were all like that. And
the ones that
weren't,
well, to call them complainers would be polite. "Look, as
long as
she's not running a temperature, and if she's not feeling
really
badly, I think it would do more harm than good psychologically
to cut
her vacation short." Especially if
they're- 'Mind out of the
gutter,
Janet!'
"Should
I have her call you when she wakes up?
That might be
tomorrow..."
"Just
play it by ear. If things get worse
call me back."
"Will
do. Thanks, Doc." She was a good doctor, and a good friend to
all of
them.
"And
Colonel?"
"Yeah?"
"Take
care of her for us, will you? There are
an awful lot of people
here
who..." Her voice caught in her
throat.
"Don't
worry. I will." His life depended on it.
*************************************
Much to
his surprise, Sam woke up a few hours into her 'nap.' He had
started
a fire and made some snacks. She lifted
her head from the
couch,
"Do I smell popcorn?"
"So,
Sleeping Beauty wakes to the smell of Butter-Flavored Theatre
Popcorn?" He was relieved she was awake and
hungry. Both good signs-
now to
feel her head to make sure she wasn't burning up.
"How
long have I been asleep?" It felt
like days, and she really
didn't
want to miss anything by sleeping away the little time they had
left.
"A
few hours, and on the ride back."
Deciding honesty was the only
way
that it was going to work, "I called Doc Frasier- I was worried
that
you were sleeping so much."
"And
what did she say?" Sam was a
little irritated, mostly at herself
for
being sick. But also touched that he
was being so- what was it?-
sweet? Jack O'Neill sweet? No one would believe her.
"She
said I should make sure you don't have a fever and keep feeding
you." If only there was another order he had to
follow. Guess that
only
happened in his dreams. He walked over
to touch her forehead-
not too
hot, not too cold.
"Well,
I feel fine, and if you would bring that bowl over here, I
would
be eating, too." Too bad she
didn't get to talk to Janet- she
would
love to tell her what had gone on up here.
Not the juicy
details,
that would have to wait for later when no one could overhear,
but the
good parts. The *sweet* parts.
He
walked over to the rug in front of the fire and put the popcorn
down. "Come and get it!" He didn't know how much he had missed this-
sharing
a quiet evening with someone, watching flames dance in the
fireplace,
feeling the warmth of another person lying next to him. It
was
heaven. Almost- there was one more thing
that would make it
perfect. He had to know that there was more between
them than this
week
and the uncertainty of the situation drawing them together. On
some
level, he did know it; he suspected he always had. On another
level,
he needed something concrete to make it 'real.' That was him-
the
realist. He never thought he would want
to be a husband again,
and now
it was the one thing he had to be- not just for her, but for
himself. To start over. To begin again.
She
watched him stare into the fire with some kind of determination.
He
usually had that look when the odds were against them on a mission.
She wondered what he was fighting against
inside. It could be
anything. She may know his thoughts sometimes, but
other times, they
were as
elusive as the man himself. When he
wanted to be. Which
wasn't
very often with her. How did she get so
lucky? She wondered
if he
knew there were a dozen women on base who asked her all of the
time if
he was seeing anyone. She usually told
them he was still hung
up on
his ex-wife. 'It could be true,' she
rationalized. She just
hoped
that it wasn't. Nothing ventured,
nothing gained, "If I had a
penny..."
He
could suddenly feel the pressure of the ring in his shirt pocket.
He
really wasn't very good at these kinds of things, but he wanted
this to
go well, so, "I was just thinking about what happens, when we
go
back." That was partly true.
"Well,
I guess you go back to work, and I get very familiar with
daytime
soaps until I recover. Then, it's back
to doohickeys." She
smiled
at her over-simplification of their very complex situation.
"You
know that's not what I meant." He wasn't going to let this
opportunity
get away from him and turn it into a joke, "I mean about
us. What will happen to us?" There, that was getting at it.
"What
do you want to happen?" What was
going on here?
"I
guess I want what everyone wants."
Easy, Jack- don't blow it now.
"Who's
everyone? Like everyone we know? Or normal people?" The idea
of
normal was such an abstract concept, she didn't know if she would
recognize
it if it moved in with her.
"Normal
people. We could be normal, you
know. Except for the
working-with-aliens
thing. That probably won't be normal
for awhile."
"Okay. Even taking out the aliens we work with, how
in this world
could
we be normal? I mean, we work all of
the time, can't talk about
what we
do, and words like "Go'auld' and 'symbiote' are part of every
conversation!"
"Right,
but if we 1) work together, 2) talk to each other, and 3) use
those
words in our conversations, then we would be normal to each
other,
wouldn't we?"
"I
suppose so. But since when did you
strive to be normal?" This was
strange,
to say the least.
She
wasn't making this easy. He wasn't sure
what he expected, but she
wasn't
getting the hint at all. Time to be
more direct, "I'm just
saying
that it would be nice to come home to this on a regular basis,
even
though I admit we don't actually go home every night. You know,
to a
house. Maybe get a dog- did I mention
I've been thinking about
getting
a dog?" Surely that was enough...
"Are
you saying you want us to get a house and a dog?" What the hell?
Was he doing this because he felt sorry for
her? She could feel
herself
getting very angry. Thankfully, the
fire hid the flush that
was
rising in her cheeks as she tried to stay calm, "What are you
saying?" Calm wasn't working.
"What?"
"You
heard me. What are you saying? Are you trying to give me some
kind of
reason to live or something? Did Janet
tell you that
something
else was wrong? That she missed
something the first two
times?"
Huh?
"I
get it, Jack. This is Survival 101-
give the dying victim
something
to hold on to. Give them hope so they
don't think about
death. Did you really think I wouldn't see
it?" She was fuming.
Huh?!?!?
"Next
time, try to be less obvious about it.
On second thought, do me
a favor
and just stay away. I'll be gone in the
morning."
And
with that, she stormed off to the guest room.
Leaving him
completely
clueless. He wondered if a marriage
proposal had ever gone
so
wrong? Not that he had extensive experience in that department. In
fact,
it went pretty much the way it was supposed to with Sara- a
candlelight
dinner, dancing, champagne, a ring in the middle of her
dessert. Down on one knee, an ecstatic 'yes,' a
wedding, a honeymoon.
So simple.
He should have known better- nothing was ever simple when
it came
to her. To *them*. And if she thought he was giving up that
easily,
or letting her leave, she had another thing coming.
Completely
lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even hear the door
open. She stood in the doorway, waiting for some
kind of
acknowledgement,
but realizing none would be forthcoming, she moved
closer,
"Jack."
His
head turned to see her eyes were red from crying. Her arms were
folded
across her chest, and he stood up to meet her.
Even his knee
cooperated
in what just might be the most important moment in his
life,
"Sam, look, I'm sorry. I know that
all came out wrong, but I
didn't
mean it the way it sounded, I-"
"No,
I'm the one who should apologize. I'm
definitely not feeling
like
myself. I hate being tired all of the
time, and I hate that you
have to
take care of me on your vacation, and I hate that- that, I
might-
die." The last word was barely
audible. She couldn't bring
her
gaze to meet his.
"You
are not dying. Not today, not tomorrow,
not next week or next
year,
or even in 50 years if I have anything to do with it. 'In
sickness
and in health,' isn't that what they say?"
At
that, she lifted her eyes to his with a grin, "I think the only
people
that say that are the ones getting mar-"
She stopped mid-word
at the
thought that her mind was just beginning to process. Was that
what he
meant by a house and a dog?
"Getting
married." He finished her thought
for her and smiled. He
fished
out the ring that had been in his pocket all afternoon, and
held it
between them. "So, will you?"
She was
speechless. The woman that had an answer for everything was
speechless.
"Marry
me." Nothing ambiguous about that.
Her
eyes kept darting between his and the ring.
It was enormous and
beautiful,
wait- when did he get that? "I
think it's only fair to
warn
you that I don't have the best track record when it comes to
engagements."
"That's
okay. I'm not exactly one to talk in
the marriage department.
Maybe we can improve each other's
averages." Say yes already!
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"*Yes.*"
"Just
checking. Woohoo!" He crushed her
to him and just held her.
She
pulled away first, "I think you have something that officially
belongs
to me now." She pointed to the
ring he was still holding.
"Oh,
right." He put it on her finger.
Why was he nervous? She had
said
'yes.' It wasn't like he hadn't
imagined it dozens, maybe
hundreds
of times. So, what was nagging
him? Was it because she
hadn't
actually answered him about? No, it couldn't be that, could it?
It was so unimportant, but he had to know,
"So, about that dog?"
"I've
always been a fan of Labrador Retrievers."
"I'm
kind of partial to German Shepards."
"We
could try one of each." This was
fun, and easy. And right.
"Our
first compromise?" He knew it
wouldn't be the last. He wouldn't
have it
any other way.
Part 9
The
night went on like that for hours- sharing stories (he finally
heard
the lemon chicken tale; she heard about the kiss during the
loop),
admitting fears (that she would end up with some young,
uncomplicated
alien/ambassador/scientist; that he would go back to
Edora)
and letting go of some old pains (he talked about the last time
he saw
Charlie alive; she told him how much she missed her mom growing
up). If
it was possible to make up for all of those years in one
night,
they were sure making a good try at it. As the fire dimmed and
her
yawns became more frequent, he decided it was time to call it a
night,
or rather, a morning. Standing up, he held out his hands to
her,
and she rose to her feet. He led her to the guest room, and she
stopped
just outside of the door as he opened it for her, "What are
you
doing?" Had she misjudged their first night together? She knew
it had
been awhile, but it couldn't have been that bad, could it have?
"Well,
I've only done this once before, but I'm pretty sure you're not
supposed
to spend the night together before you get married." His
face
didn't give anything away.
Completely
waking up in a half-second, she stared at him in total
disbelief,
"Getting married tomorrow?" Was he serious? She didn't
have a
dress or shoes. What about flowers? What about her Dad? And
their
friends? Was he serious?
"Why
not? Unless you'd rather go fishing, of course." Still
deadpan.
"Jack,
I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but we just got
engaged-
what, four hours ago? And you want to get married tomorrow?
Don't
you think it would be nice if we had our friends there? And
what
about Dad? And what would I wear?" This was crazy. He was
crazy.
She was crazy about him. Maybe this was the most sane thing
they
could do. What the hell? "On, what the hell." She smiled as
she
realized he knew she would agree. Maybe it was the late hour,
maybe
it was her fatigue, maybe it was just that she loved him and he
loved
her. That simple- that complicated and that simple at the same
time.
This really was turning into quite a week.
"Great.
We'll go into town tomorrow to apply for a license. There is
normally
a 5-day waiting period between applying and getting one, but
I
called the courthouse, and we can get it waived. Luckily, the judge
is
retired from the Air Force, and he sympathized with our situation,
at
least as much as I could tell him." What were the odds of that?
He was
actually starting to believe in fate.
"I
still have to get a dress. I just can't get married in jeans and a
T-shirt."
That was just too much, even for her.
"Don't
worry, ypu'll find something. You can look for one while I go
get
wedding bands." He really had thought of everything. He could do
that,
when it counted.
"Oh
my god, I totally forgot about that." This was happening way too
fast.
Wasn't it? Way too fast after waiting for years, that is.
Time
and space didn't seem to be as cut and dried as they once did.
Even
for a theoretical astrophysicist.
He
leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, "Enjoy your last night as a
single
woman. Tomorrow, you belong to me." He was smiling now,
confident
that the "belong to" remark would send her into overdrive.
But it
didn't. He was right- she did belong to him. Only it didn't
have
anything to do with getting married tomorrow. It was about love
and
loyalty and trust. And it had been going on longer than a few
hours
or days. It had been going on for years, in this universe and a
few
others. She went onto her tiptoes to return a kiss on the cheek
and
replied, "Don't think even for a second that I'm going to use the
word
'obey.' Or that I'm going to change my name. Hyphenate, maybe.
And I
like to sleep on the right side of the bed, and..."
He
shook his head and turned to go to his room as she continued to
rattle
off a shopping list of things that she would and wouldn't do.
It
didn't matter, she owned him- body, heart and soul. He was about
to turn
around and tell her as much when he reached the door to his
room,
but suddenly he heard-
"I
like to squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and-"
"Sam!
Leave a few surprises for afterwards, OK?"
**********************************************
A
cloudless blue sky greeted the newlyweds as they descended the
stairs
outside of the courthouse. The judge that Jack had talked to
the day
before had performed the brief ceremony. Sam had found a
simple
white sundress at a store she went by the day before. Luckily,
the
shoe sale was still going on, and she found a pair of white
sandals
to match. Jack had gone back to the jewelry store and bought
matching
platinum wedding bands. Hers had a row of channel-set
baguette
diamonds that the man promised would look beautiful next to
the
sapphire. All in all, it couldn't have been easier. Or more
perfect.
She
stopped walking when they reached the bottom of the stairs and
looked
up at him, "I wouldn't have believed it if someone had told me
a week
ago that this would be happening. I would have more likely
believed
that earth would have been taken over by Go'aulds."
"Not
me. I would have believed it." He put on his sunglasses and let
a small
grin tug at the corners of his mouth.
She
bumped her side against him, "Liar." So this is what is feels
like to
be married, huh? Not much different really. In some ways,
they
were already very much like a married couple- knowing what
certain
looks meant, anticipating the actions of the other person, and
spending
more time together than most married couples probably did in
20
years! "So, what now?"
"Easy.
We go fishing."
*************************************************
The
next three days were spent doing just that. Well, that and some
other
things. Mostly laughing and talking, and not talking, and just
loving.
Something neither had done openly for a very long time. As
the end
of the week approached, they both felt the apprehension of
going
back to the 'real' world. After dinner on their final night,
Sam got
up to clear the table, "I think I'll finish packing tonight so
we can
get an early start tomorrow." She was actually looking forward
to the
distance it would take them to get back to Colorado. They had
decided
yesterday that she would leave her bike here over the winter
and
ride back with him. She might not even be able to drive for awhile
anyway,
and this seemed easier.
"Good
idea. It's going to be a long day." It was going to be a long
couple
of days, actually, but he wasn't ready to think about that yet.
One
thing at a time... "So, have you thought about how we're going to
tell
people about us?"
She had
thought a lot about it, actually, but her thoughts usually
turned
to how to tell her Dad. Before leaving for the cabin, she had
sent a
letter through the gate to the Tok'ra hoping it would get to
her Dad
before the operation and that he would be there for it. She
had
written of her intention to visit the cabin and tell Jack of her
condition.
She didn't think her dad would think too much of that- he
knew
the two of them were close, and it seemed reasonable that she
would
want to tell him in person.
"Sam?"
"Sorry."
She was going to have to get used to thinking some of her
thoughts
out loud. She had lived alone for a long time. "I was just
thinking
that everyone is probably going to be really happy for us."
Then
why didn't she sound a little happier?
"I
sense a beat missing here." What was bothering her? She didn't
have
regrets already, did she?
"Dad."
"Oh."
He had thought about that on more than one occasion, too. He
knew
that Jacob liked him well enough, but being your daughter's CO
and
doing an OK job were a lot different from being an acceptable
husband.
He knew Jacob thought he took too many risks and didn't
exactly
follow the rulebook. Although he had followed the rules when
it came
to Sam. He really had. Well, mostly. He couldn't help what
he
felt. He also couldn't help what he felt about the Tok'ra and what
had
happened with his "blending experience." That was something he
didn't
even agree with Sam about.
"If
he makes it to Earth for the surgery, I think I should tell him.
Alone."
He wasn't going to like that, but if Jacob really did have a
problem
with it, she wanted an opportunity to explain what had
happened
between her and Jack one-on-one.
"No.
We're in this together, and whether he likes it or not, I really
have a
reason to call him 'Dad' now." His eyes were smiling. He
really
did like Jacob, and he could think of a lot worse in-laws, if
you
counted Selmak. How did that work anyway?
"Let's
just see how it goes, OK?" She didn't have the energy to fight
with
Jack about her dad or vice versa. She just hoped it wouldn't
come to
that.
"Sounds
good to me." He was going to need his strength to get through
the
surgery and help her through what he hoped would be a speedy
recovery.
Every day that they spent together reinforced what he had
only
let himself believe a little since the day she walked into his
life-
he needed her to get up in the morning, to breathe, to live.
Their
lives may have been officially joined just a few days ago by a
judge
and with a piece of paper, but they had been inextricably wound
for
much longer. He knew now that although he had loved Sara, it
hadn't
been like this. Nothing had been like this for him. He also
knew
with the same absolute certainty that it never would be again.
This
was it, for better or worse. He prayed that the worst was over
and
that it would only get better.
Part 10
It was
funny how crossing an imaginary line that symboled a different
state
could make such a change. Her heart started beating a little
faster,
her stomach started to get some of those familiar knots, and
was it
getting warmer, too? Crossing the border into Colorado seemed
to make
the events of the past week feel a little more real than they
had a
state or two ago.
Jack
noticed her shifting in her seat, "Are you OK? We could stop for
awhile
if you need to get out." They had made good time, and with
only a
few hours left in the day, he wanted to spend as much of it
with
her before they got home as possible. The day after tomorrow was
the
surgery. Fear and dread started to rise from his gut, but then
she
spoke...
"No,
I'm OK. Just wondering what's waiting, that's all. You know,
mail,
phone messages, newspapers piled up..." And Dad.
She
didn't have to say it for him to hear it. He looked down at the
space
between them where her left hand rested. He reached over and
rubbed
it, his fingers taking in the new sensation of her rings. He
smiled,
"There will be plenty of time for that tomorrow."
They
were going to see Janet first thing in the morning to make sure
everything
was on schedule. They would tell her first about getting
married
and then General Hammond. If Teal'c was back from Chulak, he
would
be the next to know, and then Jonas. If they knew anything
about
the rumor mill in that place, their news would be the topic of
conversation
by lunch. If Dad was there, well, she would just have to
wait
and see if he was, "I was hoping to get home early enough to call
Mark,
but I'll just do it tomorrow."
Which
reminded him of somebody else he wanted to tell, "I need to go
out
tomorrow for awhile, after we're done on base." He could hear the
tension
in his own voice.
"Sure."
She wasn't going to press him when he sounded like that.
About
50 miles later, "I want to tell Sara about us in person. Before
she
hears it through a mutual friend or something." There. That was
it. Not
so hard to tell your wife that you wanted to visit your
ex-wife
alone 5 days after you got married, right?
"I
think that's a good idea. I can't imagine how I would feel if I
were
she and had to hear about it from someone else. Speaking of
which,
I was thinking about something, and I want you to hear me out
before
saying anything."
She had
completely understood his request, he could only do the same
in
return, "OK."
"Well,
it would mean a lot to me to get married in front of our
friends
and family- with Dad there- in Colorado Springs. Nothing huge
or
over-the-top, but..."
"I
think that's a great idea." He did.
"Really?"
"Really.
But what does that have to do with Sara?"
"I
think you should invite her."
"What?
Why?" Telling her he got married was one thing, inviting her
to an
after-the-fact ceremony was something completely different. And
weird.
"It's
just that if she's not there, it's like all of those years
didn't
exist for the two of you. And they did. They are as much a
part of
the reason we're together now as anything else, and to pretend
like
you haven't been married before or that you two don't still care
about
each other is ridiculous, don't you think? It would be like a
lie if
she weren't a part of it somehow. Maybe that's a convoluted
way of
thinking, and maybe I'm being incredibly naïve, but I just
think
we've lost enough people in our lives already. Shouldn't we try
to
include the ones that are still with us?" She had thought a lot
about
this, and as strange as it would be to see Jack's ex-wife on her
wedding
day, it would seem weirder still not to. There were enough
people
that *couldn't* be there, shouldn't they ask the ones that could?
Amazing
was the only word that summed her up. Truly amazing. Not
once
ounce of bitterness or jealousy or distrust flowed through her
veins.
Naquadah, maybe. Resentment, envy or spite, not at all. He
was
reminded again why he completely fell in love with her. "That
might
just be the most amazing thing you've ever said. And you've
said
some pretty amazing things. Thank you. I'll ask." He squeezed
her
hand.
"Good."
She squeezed back and closed her eyes until they reached her
house.
They had decided to make her place home until she was able to
come
back to work. Then they could talk about moving, and getting a
dog or
two.
He was
surprised to see her jump out of the truck as soon as he pulled
into
the drive. She ran up to the door and turned her key. Loads of
mail
and a week's worth of papers were piled on her table. Janet must
have
come by recently. The light on her answering machine was
blinking-
three times between cycles. She pushed play as Jack
followed
in with their bags.
"Message
one, left at 6:34 p.m. on Tuesday, September 10th: Hi Sam.
It's Mark.
Just calling to say how you're doing. I know we haven't
talked
in awhile. So, call me when you get in. You must be due for a
vacation
soon, right? Well, that lawyer that was at the party we had
the
last time you were here hasn't stopped asking about you. Maybe I
could
fix you up for the next time? Just think about it. Love you.
Bye."
She
turned to see Jack's eyebrows raised at her. She would have to
explain
that later.
"Message
two, left at 10:02 a.m. on Friday, September 13th: Hey Sam.
It's
Janet. Not sure when you're getting back, but wanted to remind
you
that I wanted to see you first thing on Sunday morning. Hope your
trip
turned out OK. I'll want details later. Bye."
He
still had that look, but now he wanted to know what kind of details
she
would tell. Damn answering machine.
"Message
three, left at 8:55 p.m. on Saturday, September 14th: Sam?
It's
Dad. I guess you're getting in kind of late, but I would
appreciate
a call at the base when you get this. I got your note
yesterday
and made it here as fast as I could. I'm so sorry this is
happening
to you. Call me. I love you, honey."
The
machine rewinding was the only sound in the room. Jack came up
behind
her and put his arms around her. She whispered, "I'm going to
call before
it gets any later."
"I
think I'll hit the shower unless you want me to..."
"No,
thanks. I'll be fine." She hoped.
He
kissed the top of her head, got his bag and went to the bathroom.
She
picked up the phone and dialed the all too familiar base number
and
asked for her dad. He picked up on the first ring, "Sam?"
"Hi,
Dad." If her heart would stop racing, she could breathe a lot
easier.
"Did
you just get in?" He sounded so worried. He was her Dad after
all.
"Yeah,
Jack did all of the driving in one day." Oops, she should have
said
'Colonel.'
Jack,
huh? Okay... "How are you feeling? You sound tired."
"It
was a long trip, and we're coming in early to see Janet to make
sure
everything's on track for Monday."
"Jack
is bringing you in to see Janet?" What the hell happened up
there?
"Just
in case I can't drive afterwards, and he has some work to catch
up
on." Nice save. God, she hated lying to him, even for a day, but
this
conversation needed to take place in person. Suddenly feeling
very
tired, "Dad, I really need to get some sleep. I'll come and see
you
tomorrow after General Hammond."
"Of
course. Get some sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and Sam?"
"Yeah,
Dad?"
"Could
you ask Jack to stop by, too? I need to talk to him about
something."
"Sure.
Goodnight."
"I
love you."
"I
love you, too."
She
hung up the phone and made her way to the bathroom. A shower
sounded
great about now. Especially a shower with her husband. That
was a
hard word to get used to. It had taken her weeks to get used to
saying
fiancé years earlier. This sounded so much more- well,
permanent.
She laughed at herself. Yeah, this was more long-term for
sure.
She
opened the door to the shower and let her eyes float down his
body.
This was like some shower scene in a porn with the soap
trailing
down his back and- WOW!- he was so hot. Really, really hot.
His
hands were braced on the same wall as the shower spray, and he
was
letting the water just pour over him with his eyes closed and head
back.
Not wanting to disturb him, she started to close the door-
"I
thought you might join me. Or did you just come for the
entertainment
value?"
Rethinking
her decision, she decided to slip in between his body and
the
wall. He bent his head to kiss her and all thoughts of her dad
and
Janet and General Hammond were washed away.
Part 11
The
base was so quiet, but then it was a Sunday, and only essential
personnel
were there. Besides them, Hammond, Doc Frasier and Jacob he
wondered
who else was-
"O'Neill,
you have returned."
Leave
it to the big guy to state the obvious.
"Yeah.
I'm back." Why did it seem so awkward? Oh, right, because of
that!
He felt his left thumb trace the ring on his finger
automatically.
"MajorCarter
is not well."
"No,
she's not, but the good Doctor will have her as good as new
tomorrow,
so..." Maybe if he kept saying it, then it would really
happen
that way. He ran his hands through his hair. Why did he feel
so
tired so early in the morning? Maybe because he didn't get enough
sleep.
He could feel a smile starting as he remembered exactly why
that
was.
Teal'c
noticed something shiny on Jack's finger that he hadn't seen
before,
"O'Neill. Is that not the symbol for a union between two
people
on Earth?" He nodded his head toward Jack's left hand.
"Oh,
that. Yeah, it is." His smile just got bigger as the Jaffa
pulled
him into a bear hug.
"Congratulations,
O'Neill! I am pleased for you. Who is the woman
you are
now... 'married' is the term I think you use?"
"Who
do you think, Teal'c?" Had he really missed everything all of
these
years? No, he couldn't have, could he? He looked at Teal'c
just as
what passed for a smile crept onto his usually straight lips.
"Please
tell MajorCarter I wish her the best of luck."
"Thanks,
Teal'c. I will." He was actually turning into a smart ass.
Wonder
whose influence that was?
"She
will need it." And with that, Teal'c nodded and turned to
continue
his walk to the commissary.
Why
that... You had to love Teal'c, and if you didn't, he would kill
you,
so, it all worked out. He had dropped Sam off at Janet's office
just a
few minutes ago and was planning to hide out in his office to
avoid
Jacob until after he and Sam had a chance to talk to Hammond.
He was
still trying to convince her to let them both talk to Dad.
She
could really be stubborn. Wonder where she got that from? He no
sooner
thought it, than-
"Jack!"
Damn!
Maybe if he just kept walking...
"*Jack*!"
Nope.
He had to stop and say something, "Jacob, I was just on my way
to find
you." Right, that's why he was walking in the opposite
direction
of the guest quarters.
"Did
Sam tell you I wanted to talk to you?"
Yeah,
right after we took a shower together and made love three times,
she
mentioned it briefly, "Yes, she did." God, he was getting horny
again
thinking about it, and her dad was here. Dad was here, for
cryin'
out loud. Stop thinking about having sex with his daughter for
five
minutes. He was a trained soldier, he could do that, right?
Maybe.
"Good.
Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Teal'c
was in there, and he definitely didn't want Jacob finding out
from
him, so, think fast- "Uh, no. How about my office instead? I,
uh,
already had two cups this morning."
"Okay.
Let's go then."
They
walked silently down the hall to Jack's office. No one else in
sight
now. Of course, not. Maybe Janet would get done with Sam faster
than
she thought. As Jacob closed the door behind them, Jack let out
a sigh,
"So?"
"Look,
Jack. I hate to go behind Sam's back, but she's not always
great
about divulging personal information, and I figured since she
went to
tell you about the- cancer- that maybe you knew the whole
story."
Thank
god. He didn't know. He just wanted to talk about Sam being
sick. A
ridiculous amount of relief swept over him, and feeling more
relaxed
than he should, he made the same mistake of running his hands
through
his hair as Jacob watched and waited and noticed everything,
"There
really isn't much to tell according to Sam. It's operable, not
life-threatening,
and after a recovery period where Doc experiments
with
her hormones, she should be good as new." That was it in a
nutshell.
So why was Jacob looking at him like that? Maybe he didn't
know
Sam was having surgery- had he given too much away? "Jacob?"
"What
the hell is that?" His eyes were stuck on the platinum band on
Jack's
finger.
Damn!
He should have taken it off after Teal'c saw it. Damn! He
couldn't
speak. This was definitely not going the way it was supposed
to.
"Answer
me, Jack. What is that? Or more to the point, who is wearing
the
matching one?"
Well,
lying was out, and the truth didn't sound so great either, but
here it
went, "Sam." He felt like he was being grilled by Hammond,
only
worse. *Way* worse.
Jacob
half-sat, half-fell into the couch in Jack's office. Now it was
his
turn to be speechless. His daughter had gotten married to a man
he
didn't even know she was in love with. Well, that wasn't entirely
true.
He suspected there was something going on between them, but he
also
knew the rules, and as much as he knew Jack wasn't a
play-it-by-the-rules
kind of guy, he didn't think he would do anything
to
jeopardize her career or hurt her. Oh my god! Had he? Had they?
Before
now?
As if
reading his mind, Jack found his voice, "We never did anything
remotely...
unprofessional... until she came to the cabin. After she
resigned.
Nothing before. I swear." At least he could say that with
a
straight face, and he guessed he might have to do it again with
Hammond
later, but this was harder. Without a doubt, this was harder.
"When?
I mean... when did you two start having feelings for each
other?
Why didn't she tell me?" He knew why. He would have
disapproved
and been so angry. Said and done things he would
have
regretted later. He correctly guessed she hadn't told him in
order
to preserve their new father-daughter relationship. He wished
he
could say that he would have been understanding, that she should
have
told him, but the truth was, he doubted he could have been. As
usual,
she was smarter than him.
"Look,
Dad."
That
drew a look from Jacob, and maybe even a hint of a grin.
"You
are going to have to ask Sam about all of that. She wanted to
tell
you herself about us so that she could answer the questions she
knew
you would have. All I can say is that I love her. I have for a
very
long time, before I even knew it, and I'm going to do everything
I can
to make it work. I'm not sure what else you want to hear."
Jack
realized that he cared about this man more than he had for his
own
father and wanted- no, needed- to hear that he was going to be
alright
with Jack being married to his daughter.
"I'm
not going to lie to you, Jack. You're not exactly the kind of
guy I
had hoped Sam would end up with. I mean, is it wrong to want a
normal
life for your kids? I thought a doctor, or a lawyer maybe.
You
know, a regular-hours, suit-and-tie, white picket fence, mini-van
kind of
guy. Someone without a lot of baggage. Someone-"
"If
you're telling me that you don't think I'm good enough for her,
then at
least we agree on that much. Hell, don't you think I see?
I'm
older than she is; I have a twisted past. I can't even keep her
safe.
Most of the time, she ends up saving my ass. I know all of
that.
But you can't help who you fall in love with. At least I
can't.
And I don't think Sam can either, or-"
"Or
she would have taken Martouf up on his offer to be more than a
friend?"
"Him
or any one of the other guys that asked her out, or would have,
if she
would have thrown a smile in their direction for
encouragement."
"I
think she reserved that smile for you, Jack. I'm not totally
blind,
but as a father, trust me when I say that thinking about your
daughter
with any guy gives you nightmares. Let alone her CO."
"Let
alone me."
"Oh,
god. This is complicated. But I guess I can't ask anything more
than
for her to be happy. And if that means you're the one that does
it for
her, then I wouldn't dream of butting in. But that doesn't
mean I
won't be watching you. And her. And if I even get the
slightest
hint that you aren't keeping up your end of the bargain- I
swear
to god, Jack." He wasn't angry now. Just resigned to the fact
that
his daughter was married. In truth, he could think of men a lot
worse
than the one she picked. But he wasn't going to tell Jack that.
No,
make him squirm for awhile. This could be fun- later- much
later.
"Trust
me. If there's one thing I've learned this past week, it's
that if
I screw this up, there won't be anything left of me." He
looked
at Jacob with a mixture of fear, at the possibility of losing
her,
and pain, at the thought that this wouldn't all work out. It had
to. It
just had to.
Jacob
could tell he was sincere. In fact, he hadn't seen Jack this
serious
about something ever. He guessed this was the side Sam saw
when no
one else was around. The side she fell in love with; the side
Jacob
would have to trust now that Jack was married to her. Time to
get
back to business, "Where is she now?"
"Still
with Janet, although I thought they would have been done by
now."
"Let's
go." He got up as Jack headed toward the door. "Jack-"
He
froze. What else was there to say, "What?"
"Welcome
to the family." He hugged him and patted him on the back
like he
would his own son. Hell, he spent more time with Jack than
his own
son and knew him a great deal better. He could actually feel
himself
start to get choked up. A retired general crying.
"Thanks,
Dad." Not a dry eye in the house.
Part 12
Janet
looked up from Sam's file just as Jack and Jacob walked in,
"She's
getting dressed. She'll be right in. Oh, and congratulations,
Colonel.
You're a very lucky guy. And don't forget I have very long
needles
in case you need reminding of that."
Jacob
chuckled. This was fun already.
"Thanks,
Doc. I'll keep that in mind. Is there anything else you
would
like to share? Like how my wife is?" That was the first time
he had
said those words in- well, a long time. And they had stopped
having
meaning in any real sense long before he had stopped saying
them
then. They felt odd on his lips, but it felt so right to say
them
now about her.
Janet
smiled. It would take everyone awhile to get used to the new
relationship
between those two. Except that it wasn't really new-
just in
the open. "She's the same as before, Colonel. We're
scheduled
for 0600 hours tomorrow. No food or drink after 1800
tonight.
A full night's rest is in order. In fact, that's an order."
Jack
wondered what Janet knew about his sleeping habits, or lack
thereof.
Yep, this was weird. She was hinting at his sex life in
front
of his new father-in-law, who, by the way, had a snake thingy in
him.
Not many newly married men had his set of circumstances that was
for
sure. He didn't have to think about it anymore, though, as the
reason
for all of these changes walked into the office, "Hey."
She was
still buttoning her blouse and didn't look up, "Hey."
"Sam!"
Jacob was visibly relieved to see her.
"Hi,
Dad." He walked over to hug her.
Sam
looked at Jack questioningly.
He held
up his ring and pointed.
So, her
Dad knew. Well, she didn't see any bruises or cuts on either
one of
them, so it must have gone reasonably well.
Jacob
was so relieved to see her looking well and just- alive, "How
are you
feeling?"
"Fine,
actually. A little tired, but fine." She had to stop herself
from
smiling at the implication that everyone got except her Dad.
"Well,
I understand my little girl got married without telling her
dear
old dad first?!" He couldn't even pretend to be mad. Not under
these
circumstances. Not when she just beamed at him as he said the
word
'married.'
"Um,
sorry about that. I was kind of a surprise to us, too. But,
we're
going to do it again in a few months when I'm feeling better so
that
everyone can be there."
Jacob
glared at Jack, "You left that part out, I think. That would
have
been nice to know." He was enjoying his son-in-law already.
"Right.
Well, now you know. Speaking of people knowing, we should go
see the
General before he hears it at the water cooler." Escape!
"Okay.
Dad, I'll find you before we leave. Janet, I'll see you in
the
morning."
"Take
care, Sam. And Colonel, don't forget my orders." So much fun
already.
**********************************
As it
turned out, the base was still gossip central even on a Sunday
with a
skeleton crew. A janitor had overheard Teal'c in the hallway
congratulating
Jack on his marriage. Since everyone knew Sam had
resigned
last week, the rumors we're flying from the control room to
the
locker room. Jack had barely knocked on General Hammond's door
when he
was greeted by a hug (he couldn't remember the last time he
had
been hugged by so many men on the same day). After the obligatory
conversation
about Jack needing to take more leave to stay with Sam
until
she recovered, they told him that they hoped he would officiate
at
their 'second' wedding. Of course, the General was delighted as he
thought
of them both as his extended family. After a few more hugs
and
'congratulations' as they made it down the hall, they finally
reached
Sam's lab.
"Are
you sure you want to stay here while I'm gone?" At Sara's. They
both
knew where he was going.
"Yeah.
There are some things I need to give to Jonas, and there's a
chance-
however small- that he may not have heard about us yet, so...
Anyway,
I promised Dad I would visit with him some more before we
left.
Just come and get me when you're done. Or I could have Janet
drop me
off if it's easier."
"No,
I'll come back. It shouldn't be more than an hour. Don't do too
much
work. I really think Janet will hurt me if she finds out you're
in
here." The threat of the needles was still fresh in his mind.
"I'll
see you later then." She was already half-absorbed in the
latest
device that someone had set on her table.
"Sam?"
She
stopped whatever she was doing to whatever that thing was, "What?"
"I
love you. That's all."
"That's
enough. Now get out of here!" She smiled and shooed him out
the
door.
*****************************************8
'Get a
hold of yourself, O'Neill. You were married to this woman for
years.
It's not like she's going to slam the door in your face.
Probably.'
He rang the bell.
A few
seconds later he heard a familiar voice call out, "Coming!"
He
stepped back and braced himself for whatever was going to happen.
The
door swung open, and Sara stood on the other side of the doorway,
"Jack."
"You
were expecting an encyclopedia salesman maybe?" The humor always
came
out when he was nervous or felt awkward.
"I
was expecting anyone but you. Come in." She waved him into the
living
room. "Coffee?"
"No,
thanks. I'm fine." He surveyed the surroundings- comfortable
and
warm. That was Sara. "How are you?"
"Doing
well, thanks." She sat down in a chair across from him. "But
I'm
guessing you didn't show up at my door after all this time to
inquire
about my health?" She wasn't accusing him, exactly, but she
did
want to know why he was here. They had parted on good terms, but
he was
her *ex*-husband for a reason, and communication was not his
greatest
strength.
"No.
I came to tell you some news." His left hand was folded into
his
right. He wasn't going to make that same mistake *three* times
today.
He drew a breath, "I got married this week."
"Wow!
Well, congratulations." She didn't jump up to hug him, but she
looked
genuinely happy for him. Surprised, but happy.
"Thanks.
I thought you should hear it from me before you found out
some
other way."
"I
appreciate that. Anyone I know?"
"Yes.
No. Not really. I mean, you saw her that day..."
"Oh,
right." The blond. She was pretty, and young, but wasn't she
under
his command? Wasn't that...
After
seeing *that* look on Jacob's face earlier, he knew what she was
thinking,
"She resigned."
"Oh.
Not that it's any of my business. I would just hate to see you
get in
trouble for something like that." She knew how important his
career
was to him.
"There's
one other thing, actually."
Oh god,
was she pregnant? That would be too much to handle in one
day...
"We
would like you to come to a ceremony that we're going to have in a
few
months. We didn't have family or friends there the first time,
but
we'd like to this time, so if you could make it, that would be
great."
"Are
you sure you would both be comfortable with that?" She wasn't
sure
*she* would be comfortable with that, but first thing was first.
"It
was Sam's idea, actually. She thought it was important to have as
many
people that we care about as possible there. She wants to
include
you, and I think it's a great idea."
"Your
wife sounds like a very confident person. I'm not so sure I
could
do the same, if our positions were reversed." Saying 'wife' and
not referring
to herself felt odd, to say the least.
"I'm
not sure I could either. But that's why I married her. She
comes
up with the good ideas for both of us." He smiled at that.
"You
don't have to answer now. I'll call you when we decide on a
date."
He stood up to leave. He needed to get back to base.
"I
can't make any promises. But I will think about it, and I look
forward
to hearing from you." She meant that. For the first time in
years,
the thought of seeing her ex-husband wasn't so bad. That had
to be
good, right?
"Good.
I'll tell Sam." He stepped outside her doorway, "It was good
to see
you again."
"Yeah,
you too." She started to close the door, but she had to ask,
"Jack..."
He
turned back around to face her, "What?"
"Does
she know what she's getting into with you?" She was smiling
just a
little.
"I
doubt it. Thank god. Or she wouldn't have said 'yes'!" He
smiled,
too.
*********************************
"I
can't believe I missed it!" Jonas was having difficulty dealing
with
the news.
"You
weren't supposed to see it. We had gotten pretty good at hiding
what we
felt. We had a few years to work on it before you came
along."
"Did
Daniel know?"
The
mention of her friend's name brought a smile to her eyes, "I don't
know.
Probably. But he knew us both better than we knew ourselves,
so..."
Sam had
given Jonas some notes she had been working on from her lab so
that he
could keep up on things while she was recovering.
He
looked over at her as she got up to leave, "Is there anything I can
do for
you tomorrow?"
"No,
but thanks. I'll be back before you know it." She closed the
door
and went off in search of her Dad.
He
hoped so. He may not have known how much they were in love, but he
would
have to have been deaf, blind and stupid not to see that Jack
was a
different person when Sam was around. A lot nicer and a lot
calmer.
Now he knew why.
*****************************************
As she
made her way down the hall to his quarters, she ran into
Teal'c.
He
really had to stop meeting people like this, "MajorCarter.
Congratulations
on your marriage to O'Neill. He is a lucky man
indeed."
She
hugged her friend, "Thanks, Teal'c. I feel pretty lucky, too."
"I
understand from DoctorFrasier that you are scheduled for surgery
tomorrow
morning."
"Yeah,
I guess I'm going under the knife."
"I
did not know that it was customary to bring cutlery to an
operation,
but I will stop by the commissary before coming to the
infirmary."
"It's
just an expression, and you don't have to come. I'll be fi-"
"I
will be there. For both of you." He nodded and went in search of
a
knife.
Sam
understood what he wasn't saying. If something went wrong
tomorrow,
then Jack would need Teal'c. She was reminded again how
important
a role her friends, their friends, played in their lives.
More
like family than friends really. Lucky, indeed.
************************************
She
knocked on the door to Jacob's room.
He was
happy to see her and opened the door for her to enter, "Where's
Jack?"
"He
had an errand to run." No point in explaining about that just
now.
"So,
are you changing your name?" That was Dad, straight to the
point.
"I'm
not sure. Maybe hyphenating it, maybe not." Why did she feel so
nervous?
Like she was back in high school talking about her new
boyfriend
and asking for a later curfew. 'Stop it, Sam! You're an
adult,
so have an adult conversation about this!' She took in a deep
breath,
"Look, Dad. I know that you think he takes too many risks and
that
he's a smart ass, and-"
"Doesn't
he? Isn't he? I don't think I've ever accused him of
something
he didn't do, Sam."
"Okay.
Then accuse him of some other things, too. Like taking care
of me
when I was sick this past week. And being kind and gentle and
loving
and generous."
She
looked at him with eyes as blue and as wide as he had ever seen,
just
like her mother. He wondered if his wife had ever had a
conversation
like this with her dad. He hoped not, and decided to end
it
right then, "You don't have to defend him to me, Sam. He's already
part of
our family. He has been for years now, in a way, I guess. I
mean,
we're all kind of in this together. Now, he's more than just
someone
that I respect and trust. He's your husband. And whether I
like it
or not, and I do like it by the way, I have another son."
Tears
welled up in her eyes. She really couldn't believe he had
accepted
it that easily. He was almost happy about it. Well, as
happy
as her dad got about anything, "Thanks, Dad. You have no idea
what
that means to me right now."
"You
mean everything to me. You and Mark. Always have." Their
embrace
was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Jacob
opened it to see Jack standing there, looking like he
half-expected
Jacob to turn him away, "Speak of the devil."
"Great,
so now I'm the devil?" He looked at Sam who was wiping away a
few
tears, "Is everything alright?" Jacob may be her Dad, but if he
upset
her the day before her surgery, god help him.
"Yeah,
it's great. But, I think I'm ready to go home and get some
sleep.
Big day ahead." She walked to the door, but kissed her dad on
the
cheek first, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See
you kids in the morning." He smiled at Jack as he led Sam away.
********************************************
It was
late afternoon, but Sam didn't have any interest in food, so
she
decided to call it a night and get to bed early. As she slipped
into
bed with Jack following behind, she finally asked the question
she had
been wondering the whole way home, "How did it go with Sara?"
"Pretty
well. She said she would think about coming."
"Was
she OK with it? With us?"
"I
think so- just surprised. She asked if you knew what you were
getting
into."
"Do
I?"
He
could feel the smile on her face as she laid her head on his chest,
"I
hope not. Then there wouldn't be any surprises left, would there?"
"I
can't imagine our lives ever being boring." Her body felt heavy
and her
eyelids shut lightly, "I love you." She heard him mumble
something
as she drifted off to sleep.
"That's
all I need."
Part 13
An
audible sigh was heard in the waiting room as Janet announced the
surgery
had been a success. As she looked around the room, she could
see
varying degrees of relief from the men who had been waiting to
hear
about the woman who held a special place in their hearts:
daughter,
friend, teammate and wife. She was amazed at her friend's
ability
to command such respect and admiration. And love. They
really
did all love her, albeit in different ways, but each just as
strong.
As she turned back around to help the nurses get Sam settled
in the
recovery room, she silently thanked whoever might be listening
for the
way the surgery had gone. If there was a god, not the false
kind
they were used to, but a real one, she hoped that he or she
understood
how important Sam's life was to so many people, herself
included.
Hours
later, Sam awoke to a room full of people anxiously waiting for
her to
come around. Janet was sitting on one side monitoring her
vitals
while Jack was on the other, just holding her hand. Teal'c had
long
ago posted himself at the door- always the protector. Jonas and
Jacob
sat in chairs against the far wall and were the first to see her
eyes
struggle to open.
"Sam!"
Jacob smiled and walked over to the side of her bed, next to
Janet.
"Hi."
She was barely aware of who was in the room, but she did sense
that
everything went well given the smiles she saw greeting her. "I
guess I
made it."
Janet
squeezed her hand, "You did great. It went exactly as we hoped,
and you
should be out of here day after tomorrow." She went to make
notes
on the chart as Jack helped her sit upright. Janet noticed that
he
still hadn't spoken. In fact, he hadn't said anything since Sam
had
been anesthetized.
Once
comfortable- or as comfortable as possible in one of those beds-
she
returned the smiles of relief that were being sent her way. Even
Teal'c
managed to turn the corners of his mouth upward more than
usual.
Finally,
Jack spoke, "Do you want anything?"
She
looked at him but couldn't read what was being reflected back,
"Just
water."
He
couldn't get out of there fast enough, but she was the only one
that
seemed to notice. Janet followed behind him, "Sam, I'll see you
later.
You guys shouldn't stay but a few minutes." The door closed
behind
her.
Teal'c
and Jonas each bent down to kiss her and promised to stop by
tomorrow.
Jacob held her hand for a minute before saying the words
she
knew would be coming, "I'm sorry, Sam, but I have to go back
tonight.
I've been away for a few days now, and we can't afford-"
"I
know, Dad. It's okay. I'll be fine. Really." She looked at him
with
confidence and a kind of peace that he wasn't sure came from her
new
marriage or the anesthesia. He hoped it was the former. One last
kiss,
and he left.
Out in
the hall, he ran into Jack coming back with her water, "Jack-
you've
been awfully quiet. Are you okay?"
"Yeah,
just tired. She'll be fine."
"That's
what Janet said, and I believe her. But, will you? You
really
look like hell- worse than Sam."
"Thanks."
He was acting enough like himself to be sarcastic. "I'm
okay if
she's okay. I guess it's just taking me longer to come out of
it."
A hint of a smile crossed his lips.
Jacob
nodded. He remembered one time when his wife had been sick with
pneumonia
and was hospitalized. It had been days after she recovered
that he
finally admitted he had been scared. More scared than he had
ever
been, and he guessed Jack was experiencing something similar,
"Call
me if something comes up."
"I
will." Jack started to walk past him to her room.
Jacob
touched his shoulder as he walked by, "Take care of her. In
case
you didn't notice, there are quite a few people who will stand in
line to
kick your ass if you screw this up." He smiled as he said,
it, but
Jack knew he was serious, too.
"Between
you and Janet, I don't stand a chance, do I?" He was
relaxing
just a bit.
"Not
a chance, Son. Not a chance."
Jack
continued his walk into her room. She was still sitting there,
and her
eyelids were drooping already. She opened them as much as
possible
when he came in. He wordlessly lifted the cup to her lips,
and she
drank a little before pulling her head back to indicate she
was
finished. Putting the cup down, he said, "I saw Dad leaving."
"He
needed to get back. It's just as well- he can't do anything, and
there's
no point in two of us going stir-crazy in here." She was
really
fighting to stay awake.
"Doc
said it would just be two nights."
"Not
so bad, I guess, all things considered." She started to sink
back
down into the bed.
"Not
bad at all." He tucked the covers around her and resettled back
into
his earlier position at her side, holding her hand. The worst
was
over, he hoped. She had made it through the surgery. The cancer
hadn't
spread. He knew that a long recovery lay ahead, but he still
marveled
at how far they had come in the last week. Well, six years
and one
week, really. It was hard to figure out where one
relationship
ended and another one started. Even though they had only
been
married a few days, he felt like he had known her for so long.
He knew
that she knew him better than anyone, and that was more than a
little
frightening. The past few hours had reminded him yet again how
vital
she was to his happiness- his very existence. He looked over
at her
and whispered, "Thank you for bringing me home again."
Her
eyes fluttered open for an instant, "You already said that up at
the
cabin."
He had
thought she was asleep, "You need to rest." He needed to rest,
but she
had to go first.
She
wanted an explanation of his comment and her eyes showed she was
determined
to get one.
"I
just meant that I feel like I'm home now. Here with you."
"In
Colorado Springs?"
"No,
anywhere- now that you're all right."
"Then
I'm glad to be home, too."
As he
fell asleep right after her, he murmured to himself, "There's no
place
like home." It didn't take a wizard to figure that out. Just
one
week, one Theoretical Astrophysicist and one Air Force Colonel.
