|
Title:
Just a Day (1/1)
Author:
Lisa Yaeger
E-mail:
lisayaeger@h...
Rating:
PG-13 for minor language
Pairings:
Sam/Jack
Content
Warnings: None
Summary:
Sam and Jacob talk. Then Jacob talks to Jack. Then Jack
talks
to himself.
Season/sequel:
A sequel of sorts to "Just A Dream" but you
don't
need to have read that to get this.
Spoilers:
Nothing really. Just general knowledge of the show.
Archive:
SJD & whoever wants to- I'd be flattered!
Disclaimer:
All publicly recognizable characters and places are the
property
of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions.
This
piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary
purposes
and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was
intended.
Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this
story,
are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real
persons,
living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the
author.
Status:
Complete.
Feedback:
Welcomed!
Date:
26-3-2003
Author's
Notes: Many thanks to Moon for being my Beta and giving
me an
ending.
*****
The
plane was full - not an empty seat. Sam was grateful she had
booked
their reservations far enough in advance to get in the
section
with only two seats next to each other. If she hadn't, she
imagined
she would either be next to the extremely overweight man
who was
sitting on the other side of the aisle or the screaming
child
she heard behind her. She knew she wouldn't be able to fall
asleep,
so she rested her head on her dad's shoulder and sighed.
Deep
and heavy. She wasn't really looking forward to going home.
"What
was that for?"
She
didn't answer.
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"What's
going on?" To say she had been reserved would be an
understatement.
Oh, she participated in the events that had made up
Christmas
and the days before and after, but she wasn't herself.
Quiet,
introspective, still laughing sometimes, but not the kind
that
reached her eyes. He hadn't made an issue of it while they
were
with Mark and his family in California. But now it was just
the two
of them, and he had waited long enough.
Apparently
still not feeling talkative, Sam just shrugged.
"That's
not an answer." He rested his head on top of hers and
whispered,
"Please tell me."
She
inhaled against his shirt and just stared past him out the
window.
"Let
me guess- Santa didn't get you what you wanted for Christmas?"
A
chuckle.
"Having
a bad hair day?"
A
turning of her head back and forth.
"That
time of the month?"
"Dad!"
She raised her head to give him one-of-those-looks, but then
returned
it to his shoulder.
"Alright,
I give up." He should have known. His daughter could
clam up
tighter than anyone he knew. He thought, not for the first
time,
that if they could bottle her secret and sell it-
"I
want to have babies."
All the
years of military training combined with Selmak's wisdom and
experience
hadn't prepared him for that. Nope, definitely didn't see
that
coming. It was moments like this when he wished more than
anything
that his wife was still alive. He didn't have a clue how
to
respond.
Apparently
she didn't expect him to. "I know I'm only 34, but I
don't
want to be 40 and having my first baby, you know?"
No, no
he didn't. But he could listen and hope to god to be able to
formulate
a sentence at some point.
"It's
different for men. They can have children as long as they
want,
but I can't."
Was she
dating someone? He never really even considered it. What
father
wants to think about that? His daughter seeing, dating,
sleeping
with anyone? Dear god, where was that beverage cart? Even
though
he wouldn't feel alcohol in the same way, a drink sounded
really
good right now.
"I
thought I was doing the right thing, waiting for it all to be
over,
but suppose it never is? Suppose I wake up one day, 6 years
from
now, and we're no closer than we are now to defeating them."
Her
voice had turned into a whisper that only he could hear. "Is it
so
wrong to want more than a job, more than-"
"But
I thought this is what you've always wanted?" He turned his
body
toward hers, sliding her head off his shoulder in the process,
so that
he could look her in the eye. "Aren't you happy?"
"I
thought I was. I mean, I guess I am, but lately..."
"What,
Sam?"
"Lately,
I think I want something more than the things I've got."
"Like?"
Oh, he had a feeling he *so* did not want to hear this.
"You
don't really want to know."
She was
always the smart one. "If something is bothering you, I
want to
know what it is."
She
looked dubiously at him, but he also saw the look of a little
hope.
Like someone who really wanted to share a burden. He didn't
get the
opportunity to do that for her very often, and he would be
damned
if he was going to let this slip by even if it made him a
little
uncomfortable. "I'll tell you what. If it gets too bad, I'll
let
Selmak take over, okay?"
She
smiled at that, and looked down at his shoulder to see if she
could put
her head back.
He
turned to make it more comfortable for her and waited for her to
continue.
"I've
been thinking lately that maybe there should be more to me
than
what I do. More than a Major or a Doctor or a scientist or a
soldier.
More than a career or a job."
"Like
a family?"
"When
Mark and I were alone on Christmas morning before the kids got
up, he
told me that he and Susan are thinking about having another
baby.
She turns 37 this year and doesn't want to wait much longer
if they
decide to try again."
He
hadn't suspected that. Not that it didn't make him happy - what
man
wouldn't be thrilled to learn he was going to be a grandpa again?
"It
started me thinking that they are just a few years older than
me, and
they're talking about the *end* of starting their family."
Then in
a voice so sad, it hurt him to hear it, "I'm not even dating
anyone."
"From
what I hear, it's not from a lack of offers."
She
wondered how he heard that. She guessed General Hammond
probably
knew everything that happened on and off world and shared
it with
her father more often that not. Not sure how much to give
away,
she decided to be vague. "They aren't the right offers."
Jacob
inhaled sharply at that. He wondered how much to push his
daughter
on this point. He had heard rumors; every base had them.
And
when people were forced to work so closely for so long, things
were
bound to happen. "So..."
"I
just don't think I can go on like this anymore."
"'Like
this' meaning?"
"Meaning
I want a life. A real one. Where I come home from work
and
there's someone there, or maybe I get home first. But we have
dinner
together, and we go to bed together, and we wake up together,
and-"
And
this was the part he didn't want to hear. "I get it. I get
it."
He exhaled as if the weight of the world had just been laid on
him.
"Babies."
"I'm
not getting any younger, Dad. Every time we go somewhere, I'm
taking
a risk that my body might not come back the same way as when
I left.
That I won't even be able to have children."
"Sam,
don't take this the wrong way, but I never thought having kids
was a
big priority for you."
"I
didn't use to think so either, but now..."
"Now
what?" The sinking feeling of not really wanting to know came
back
again.
"Now,
after talking to Mark, and well, feeling..." She was
searching
for the right word, found it, but didn't like how it
sounded,
so just sighed again.
He
wasn't going to let it drop. He used to be a General, after
all.
"Feeling what?"
"Incomplete."
That
was enough. He unbuckled his seat belt, turned toward her as
much as
he could in the small space, and took her shoulders in his
hands,
"Samantha Carter, you are a lot of things - a genius, a fine
officer,
a great daughter, a good friend, and an amazing all-around
person.
But you are not incomplete."
"I
feel like something's missing." Her eyes stared into his, "What
else do
you call it?"
And in
that instant he heard Selmak's voice ringing in his
ears.
'She's a woman, Jacob, and there are things she needs that the
Air
Force can't give her. Give her your blessing to go and find
them,
wherever they might be.'
His
hands slid down her arms, his chin sinking toward his chest. "I
don't
know what you call it."
She
settled back against her seat. "I don't know either, but I
know
I need
more."
"What
are you going to do?"
"I
think I have to talk to General Hammond when I get back."
"Are
you thinking of leaving the SGC?"
"God,
no! That's not an option I want to consider."
"Then
what?" And how long did it take for the beverage cart to get
from on
end of the plane to another?
"I
think I need to be reassigned."
"To
another team?"
"Maybe
a science team. Or maybe to the lab, full-time. I don't
know."
"What
are you expecting to accomplish by leaving SG-1?"
"A
regular schedule? A chance to date someone? Have a life where
I'm
not...'traveling' more than I'm at home."
The
flight attendant mercifully appeared, and he exchanged his $4
for a
can of beer. He didn't bother with the glass - it wouldn't
last
that long.
"You're
disappointed, aren't you?"
"No.
I'm surprised, that's all. It's not everyday your daughter
tells
you she wants to have children with a man she hasn't even met
yet."
She
smiled as she watched him drink down the can. "I didn't say
that."
"Yes,
you did. I remember the word "babies" coming from your mouth."
"No,
Dad, the other part." She watched him turn his head and eye
her suspiciously.
"I didn't say you hadn't met him."
Oh god.
Did he have $4 more?? "So, have I?"
She
just looked at him with eyes that were asking him to make the
connection
so neither one of them had to say it out loud.
He did.
"Oh."
"Nothing
has ever happened, I swear."
"You
don't owe me an explanation. I'm not your CO." Okay, bad
choice
of words there.
"I
know I don't owe you one, I just wanted you to know."
"Does
he know what you're considering?"
"No.
I want this decision to be mine. Based on how I feel,
regardless
of how things may, or may not, turn out between us."
At
least her logic was still in tact. She was making up her own
mind
based on her situation. Not giving anyone else a chance to
weigh
in with their opinion. Except him, for some reason. Why was
that,
he wondered? He usually got the news of what was going on with
her
well after the fact. Although, he had to admit, there wasn't
usually
anything going on. Hence the problem. "You know I'll
support
any decision you make, right?"
"Yeah,
I do, but it's nice to hear."
"I
love you, Sam, that won't ever change. No matter what you do or
who
you're with. Never."
"Thanks,
Dad." He saw a tear slip down her cheek, as she lifted her
lips to
kiss his. Her head settled back on his shoulder until the
plane
descended.
******
The
brief car ride from the airport to the base was silent. Not
uncomfortable
exactly, just heavy. Sam had said everything she
wanted
to say, and she correctly guessed that Jacob was saying
everything
he wanted to say to Selmak.
Once
inside the mountain, Sam made a beeline for the General's
office
before she lost her nerve. Grateful that the base was
relatively
empty, even for a Saturday, Jacob decided to eat one last
earth
meal in peace before heading back to the Tok'ra. He had just
loaded
up his tray and was pouring a cup of coffee as he heard
footsteps
come up behind him.
"Jacob?"
"Hi,
Jack." Of all people... Why him? Why today?
"I
thought you were supposed to leave a few hours ago." Not that he
was
keeping track of the Carters' schedule or anything.
"Trying
to get rid of me?" He settled at the first table and
motioned
for Jack to join him.
"No,
no. I just thought you were due back earlier this afternoon."
He
grabbed a cup of coffee before settling across the table from
Jacob.
"We
were, but the airline had other ideas. We missed a connection
and had
to wait for a later flight."
"Where
are the transporter rings when you need them?" He lifted the
mug to
his lips, decided it was too hot, and returned it to sit on
the
table.
Despite
himself, Jacob grinned between forkfuls of meatloaf.
"So,
how was the family?"
"Good.
Everyone had a nice holiday." Until the plane ride home,
that
is. "You?"
"Hammond
invited everyone left on base to his house for dinner, and
yeah,
it was nice." Maybe the nicest holiday he's had since
Charlie.
Except for the notable absence of his 2IC.
"It's
quite a family you've all become to each other."
"Yes
it is."
"I
have to admit that at times I'm a little jealous of how close all
of you
are. The Tok'ra aren't exactly big on friendships."
"Really?"
In his most sarcastic voice, "That's surprising."
"You
know, Jack, they're really not as bad as you think."
He
flashed Jacob a look that told him they would have to agree to
disagree
on that particular point. "So, where's Carter?"
"Talking
with George."
"Something
wrong?" The hairs on the back of his neck shot up.
"I
guess I'll have to let her explain."
"What
does that mean?" He decided a burned tongue was the price he
had to
pay for a sip of coffee.
"Exactly
what I said."
Okay....
"Actually,
Jack, I'm glad you're here."
Well,
if he wasn't worried before, he was now.
"There's
something I've been meaning to ask you."
Definitely
starting to get nervous.
"It's
about Sam."
Heart
rate increasing, palms sweating.
"I
know, as her CO, it's your job to look out for her in the field
just
like you do Teal'c and Jonas."
Remember
to blink and breathe.
"But
I know that you're all close friends, too. Very close."
Toes
tapping. Fingers drumming.
"And
I just wanted to ask - as a personal favor, nothing more - if
you
wouldn't mind checking up on her outside of work sometimes, too."
Motionless.
Heart still racing. Throat tightening.
"I
mean, I know you have a life, and that it's none of my business,
but I
don't think that you're seeing anyone, are you?"
Moving
head back and forth. He could do this.
"So,
maybe, from time to time, you could just, you know, pop in on
her.
Make sure she's not lonely or working too hard-"
"Jacob,
" Yes, there was his voice. "I'm not sure what you're
getting
at here, but Carter is the most capable person I know. She
can
take care of herself and save the earth at the same time. She
doesn't
need me-"
"Yes
she does, Jack." His eyes fixed themselves on the man across
the
table, "More than you know."
He
didn't have an answer, so he just sat and watched Carter's dad
drink
his coffee. What in the hell had just happened here?
Ironically,
the one person that could probably explain it to him was
the one
person he wasn't *ever* going to talk to about this. Maybe
he
could just forget it ever happened. Like a bad dream.
"Well,
I had better get back before the Tok'ra come looking for me."
"We
don't want that now, do we?" Sense of humor still in tact.
"No,
I'm sure you don't." He rose out of his seat, and as much to
his
surprise as to Jack's, he extended his hand.
Cautiously,
Jack returned the gesture.
Holding
a firm grip, "I know you can't control what happens on this
planet
anymore than you can control what happens out there. But
promise
me that you'll make sure... that she won't get hurt."
"Jacob,
you know I can't promise-"
"Jack."
His
wary eyes met Jacob's and saw the seriousness of the request
that
was being made of him. This wasn't about a mission or a chain
of
command. It wasn't even about Carter, really. It was about a
father
loving his daughter and needing to know that someone was
watching
out for her when he couldn't be there. And as Jack
suspected
Jacob already knew, he wasn't about to refuse. "I promise."
Jacob
nodded his gratitude and released Jack's hand. Jack watched
him
leave the commissary and sunk back into his chair. He sat
staring
at the barely touched coffee in front of him. It grew
colder
as the seconds turned into minutes. He knew he should find
Carter.
Find out what she and Hammond were talking about. But his
legs
weren't cooperating. So, he just sat and waited. She had
to
come in
eventually, didn't she? He chuckled a little to himself.
No, she
could go the whole day before realizing she hadn't eaten.
And
hadn't he just promised her father that he would look out for
her
well being? Couldn't back out of a promise, now could he?
So,
he
grabbed two hot mugs of coffee and headed toward her lab.
*****