God, he was tired.  Staying up until 2 a.m. reading the last of Dr. Jackson’s reports had *so* not been a good idea.  Although it had seemed like it at the time.  He could finally, finally say – with some degree of certainty – that he was familiar with all of SG-1’s past missions. 

 

One particular report had been written with more than a little emotion.  Not that Dr. Jackson was ever really trying to mimic the detached military voice that always seemed to narrate Major Carter’s and Colonel O’Neill’s reports.  Quite the contrary.  It appeared on more than a few occasions as though his summary of the events was written in an overly dramatic fashion in order to make up for the cold-sounding facts of his teammates.

 

Now that Jonas knew the *people* rather than just the titles they held, though, he knew that they reacted inside just the same as Daniel had.  Still, he hadn’t been able to shake one brief; it had haunted his dreams.  He wondered if his imagination had actually done it justice.  His mind’s eye saw wires snaking around corridors, up through ventilation shafts, into light fixtures and melding with circuit boards.  He envisioned blinking lights and the low hum of an electrical current.  He saw Sam.  Her body a prisoner to an entity that was only trying to preserve its world.  He saw Jack shooting her.  Twice.

 

He shook his head.  He wasn’t going to have any time left for breakfast if he let his mind wander any longer.  Lifting himself off of the bed, he pulled on the same clothes he had on from last night, hoped he looked presentable and made his way to the mess hall.

 

His bleary eyes found a bowl of cereal, a fruit salad and a cup of coffee.  That would do until lunch.  He was going to make his way to the first available table when he heard a voice to his left, “JonasQuinn.”

 

Teal’c.  He could handle Teal’c’s company this morning.  He was always quiet, even if it was kind of freaky sometimes.  Today, it was a blessing.  So, he turned his body and sat down across from his friend with barely a nod.

 

“You appear to be below the current atmospheric conditions today.”

 

Huh?  OH!!  “You mean ‘under the weather’ Teal’c.”

 

“Yes.  That is what I said.”

 

Of course it was.  After all, the guy could kill without breaking a sweat.  “No, I’m fine.  Just got to bed too late and had some…strange dreams.”

 

“On my world, dreams often carry a significance beyond their physical representation.”

 

Great.  Just great.  So *today* was the one day a year that Teal’c actually felt like talking?  Jonas mumbled his agreement and kept eating his cereal.

 

“May I inquire as to the content of your dream?”

 

Taking a sip of coffee, he looked up at his friend for the first time.  After a year, he could read Teal’c at least well enough to know when he was concerned.  And he was.  In his own way.  Not wanting to offend him, and mildly curious as to what Teal’c’s interpretation of his dream could mean, he started his description.  “It was about the entity.  The one that took over Major Carter’s body a couple of years ago.   I had just read Dr. Jackson’s report, and it-“

 

“I remember the incident very well.”

 

Ah.  That provoked a reaction.  Which with Teal’c meant the eyebrows moved a little, the jaw set slightly differently, and he moved in his chair.  Jonas continued, “It was like how it happened, well, how I *think* it happened based on Dr. Jackson’s report, only in the end of my dream, the entity somehow made it into Colonel O’Neill, too.  The energy transferred itself to his body through the zat blast, and we could only save one of them.”

 

Teal’c’s face and posture remained unchanged.  His eyes studied the man opposite him without judgment or comment.

 

“Somehow, in my dream, I was standing there, next to the Colonel.  Holding a zat, and I kept waving it back and forth between him and Sam.  Knowing that if I shot either of them a second time, they could die.”

 

“Just as ColonelO’Neill had to do to MajorCarter.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What did you do in the dream?”

 

“Nothing.  I woke up.  I couldn’t decide and the indecision terrified me.  I mean, how could I ever choose between those options?  Kill Sam or kill Jack.  Either way, I would rather it be me.”

 

“As would I.”

 

Jonas took a long sip from his coffee, pushing back the rest of the breakfast that he no longer felt hungry for.  “What would you have done?  If it had been you, what would you have done?”

 

“No one can ever say for certain what they would do in any given situation, JonasQuinn.”

 

“I know, I know- ‘Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.’  But still, you have to admit that it could happen.  Choices have to be made sometimes, as unpleasant as that is.  I just wish I knew…”

 

His voice trailed off and both teammates sat silently.  Each lost in their own thoughts- Teal’c in his memories of witnessing one of his friends believing he had to kill another, and Jonas with the fear of his own indecision in a situation that could likely happen.

 

Both heads turned automatically to the sound of laughter coming from the food line.  Colonel O’Neill was apparently describing the virtues of apple juice compared to that of orange as Major Carter toasted a blueberry bagel.  The look on her face was one of amusement and something else that Jonas couldn’t quite pinpoint.  He returned his gaze to Teal’c only to find that the Jaffa’s eyes had been studying him all along. 

 

“What is it, Teal’c?”

 

“I believe that you have found the answer to your dream.”

 

“I have?”

 

He didn’t have a chance to question further as the table filled with the other two members of SG-1.  ‘Good mornings’ were exchanged around as Jonas temporarily forgot the nightmare.  He was about to bring up the subject again, hoping to get clarification on Teal’c’s earlier comment.  But then he saw it.  The twinkle in a pair of brown eyes.  The smile in a set of blue ones.  The lips that curved just a little.  The brow that wasn’t crinkled with worry.  And that’s when he knew. 

 

The answer had been right in front of him all along.  Daniel had described that part of the reason the entity had chosen Sam was because of the strong feelings her teammates had for her.  They would all have rather traded places with her than lose her.  Because she was smart.  Because she was their friend.  And yes, partly because she was a woman.  Was that so awful?  To admit that their feelings for he were different? 

 

A calm settled over him for the first time since waking up.  He didn’t feel quite as tired as he had, and suddenly, that bowl of fruit was looking pretty good again.  So, pulling it closer and taking a fork full of grapefruit, he managed to smile his thanks up at Teal’c who nodded in return.