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She
couldn't stand outside the door for much longer holding the Styrofoam box
without looking suspicious. Enough
people had already passed her in the hall that she was starting to get more
than a little nervous. Finally, her
grumbling stomach made the decision and she knocked. 'Please god let him be
anywhere else.'
"Come
in."
Damn. Double damn. Damn it! She turned the
knob and opened to door to find him looking through a stack of folders. She decided to wait until he noticed it was
her before saying anything. She didn't
really know what to say, or what she was even doing here. Well, she knew what she was doing here, but
why she was doing it...
Still
engrossed in finding whatever it was he was looking for, it took him a minute
to realize someone was standing in his office.
Not letting go of his place in the stack of paper, he barked,
"What?!"
Somewhat
amused at his lack of organization, she replied with a bit of laughter creeping
into her voice, "I can come back later if you're busy, Sir."
His
fingers lost their place in the folders he had been sorting through as he
turned in his chair to find her standing there with the box. She had come. He matched the laughter he found in her eyes, "Do you find
something funny here, Major?"
She took
a few steps closer and set the box down on a table just in time to catch a
stack of files that had been leaning precariously toward the floor. As they landed in her arms with a 'thump'
she let out a laugh, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." At exactly that moment, another leaning
stack lost its balance and spread all over the top of his desk that had already
been covered in papers to begin with.
He
groaned. Trying to file his files was a
mistake from the beginning. And trying
to concentrate on anything while she was in the room was definitely a
mistake. The only reason he managed to
do it off-world was because he knew one misstep could cost them their
lives. But on earth, it was an entirely
different matter. Gesturing to his
desk, but meaning more than that, he asked, "Is it hopeless?"
She
thought for a moment and then said with a quiet seriousness, "Nothing is
hopeless."
It was
sinking in. She had actually come with
the cake. He hadn't really expected her
to, but at the same time, he hoped she would.
There was that word again- 'hope.'
It was like 'faith' or a 'belief' of some kind. Words and ideas like those were outside of
his black and white existence. But
there wasn't anything black or white about her- she was golden and blue and cream
and light. A very bright light. Maybe that was hope after all. "Hungry?" He nodded toward the box.
A
small, nervous smile held her lips, "I think so." But she couldn't move. It was everything she wanted and everything
she feared all waiting for her in the shape of a triangular piece of
cheesecake.
Realizing
the filing wasn't going anywhere fast anytime soon, he wiped a few more onto
the floor and cleared a space for the box.
He could feel her indecision from across the room, 'Sam, we don't have
to do this now. I don't want you to
feel pressured. I just wanted you to
know that I was willing-"
"If
not now, when?" She wasn't trying
to be funny or dramatic, but it was true.
If not right here and right now, then when would they? It was never going to get easier. It was never going to not be against
regulations. She was never going to not
be in love with him. She moved closer
to him, forgetting the cheesecake.
His eyes locked with hers as she came closer.
He stood waiting for her to reach him.
Inches
apart, breathing strained, both unsure, both wanting. Then it happened. Her
stomach rumbled. Not a little, not
quietly. But loudly, and long. Her hands immediately covered her tummy as
if that could stop the noise. Her face
flushed, and she couldn't help but giggle.
"Skipped
breakfast, did you?" He cracked a
huge grin.
"Sorry." She was a little glad that the moment had
been broken. It felt too intense- the
timing was off, and the place couldn't have been more wrong.
He
reached for the box, and opened it.
Handing her a fork, "Ladies first."
"Thanks." She took a bite and looked up to see him
smiling at her. "What?" She took another bite.
"You
have to admit it's kind of funny."
He sat back down in his chair.
"Doesn't it feel sometimes like everything is against us?"
"Sometimes?!?!" She put the box down and swallowed her
bite. "When has it ever felt any
other way?"
"I
guess you're right. Maybe that should
tell us something?"
Was he
changing his mind? "Is it telling
you something?"
"Yeah,
I guess it is."
She
could actually feel her heart breaking.
"Oh."
"I
think it means we must really have something worth fighting for."
"Oh."
The pieces of her heart reconnected as she processed what he was telling
her. She smiled, "I think so,
too."
"Maybe
we should try this somewhere else. After you've eaten."
She had
a feeling he was never going to let her forget her untimely stomach growl,
"That would be nice." She
picked up the box and headed for the door.
"Hey! You were supposed to share that, you
know!" He couldn't even pretend to
be angry at her. His smile spread
across his whole face.
She
turned around and was caught off guard at the sight of her normally very
reserved CO really smiling. Not a
half-assed, lop-sided grin or a sarcastic smirk, but an actually happy
smile. Had she really put that
there? Her stomach was doing flips, and
not just because it was still hungry.
"Sorry Sir, but you wouldn't want to deprive me of the most
important meal of the day now would you?"
"I
would hardly consider cheesecake an important source of vitamins and minerals,
Major."
"But
think of the calcium- very important for a woman my age."
"Whatever. See if I bring you anymore desserts to
'share'."
"Don't
worry. Next time, I'll provide the
dessert." She winked and walked
down the hall.
He *so*
couldn't wait for 'next time.'