wN ov xEz dAz UL eksplOd
One of these days you'll explode
 
  Kan U rEd xis?  Can you read this?
Can you read text that is written consistently rather than traditionally?
There is more than one way to write alphabetically or consistently.
There have been thousands of consistent alphabetic codes proposed for English.
Many, such as the ones proposed by Ben Franklin or G.B. Shaw, require new characters.
There are at least 40 sounds in English speech - requiring 40 symbols.
A common practice is to combine two characters to create a new symbol.
For AEIOU New Spelling uses the digraphs: ae, ee, ie, oe, ue.
Unigraf avoides digraphs by using the uppers case majuscules AEYOU.
Anything written in a phonemic or consistent code will look odd.
The goal is to choose correspondences that can be read .without a key
trY tU rEd x teXt in x left kolM
writN in Unigraf
Written in the traditional English orthography
wN ov xEz dAz UL eksplOd
qnd SWt tU ol x kidz
wY dOnt U just grO up
qnd akt Ur Aj

qnd xA wil

qr, U gYz get WtsYd
qnd fYnd sumTinG tU dU--
wiTWt hRtinG EC uTR
qnd dOnt slam x dOr

qnd xA dOnt

Ul strAtN xer bedrVmz
until itz ol nEt qnd tYdE,
tQz displAd on x Self,
hanGRz in x clqset clqs@t
animLz kAjd
UL yel,

nW Y wqnt it tV stA xis wA!"

qnd it wil...
One of these days you'll explode
and shout to all the kids,
"Why don't you just grow up
and act your age!"

And they will...

Or, "You guys get outside
and find something to do --
without hurting each other
And don't slam the door!"

And they don't.

You'll straighten their bedrooms
until it's all neat and tidy,
toys displayed on the shelf,
hangers in the closet,
animals caged.
You'll yell,
"Now I want it to stay this way!"

And it will...
U wil priper @ pR fekt dinR
with q salad xat haznt
had ol x qlivz pikt Wt
qnd @ kAk wiT
nO finGR trAsez in x YsinG
qnd Ul sA
nW xis iz @ mEl fqr kumpqnI."
You will prepare a perfect dinner
with a salad that hasn't
had all the olives picked out
and a cake with
no finger traces in the icing
and you'll say,
"Now this is a meal for company."

And you will eat it alone...

You'll yell,
"I want complete privacy on the phone.
No screaming, 
Do you hear me?"

And no one will answer.

No more plastic tablecloths stained
No more dandelion bouquets.
No more iron-on patches.
No more wet, knotted shoelaces, 
muddy boots or 

rubber bands for ponytails.
 imajin...a lipstik wiT @ pQnt
nO bAbisitRz for nU yirz Ev
wqSinG klOz onlE wNs @ wEk
nO PTA mEtinGz or silE SkVl plAz
wer Ur cYld i
Imagine.... a lipstick with a point,
no babysitters for New Years Eve, 
washing clothes only once a week,
no PTA meetings or silly school plays
where your child is a tree, 
no car pools,
blaring stereos or
forgotten lunch money.

No more Christmas presents made
of library paste and toothpicks, 
no wet oatmeal kisses, 
no more tooth fairy, 
no more giggles in the dark,
scraped knees to kiss
or sticky fingers to clean

Only a voice asking, 
"Why don't you grow up?"

And the silence echoes: 

"I did"