So you think you know Bowie, eh? Take my conniving quiz and find out. Better than Cosmo's! Part 1: Multiple Choice
1. What color are David's eyes?
a. blue + green
b. blue + brown
c. blue
2. In which magazine did Bowie declare his love of young Japanese men?
a. Cat Fancy
b. Interview
c. Playboy
3. What was the Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Long-Haired Men?
a. a protest group David joined
b. a publicity stunt
c. a bunch of poofters
4. Where did the inspiration for Ziggy's hair come from?
a. Angie's bad hair day
b. Harper's and Queen
c. a kabuki actor David was seeing on the side
5. What was so special about Bowie's outfit at the 1996 Brit Awards?
a. he was naked
b. his hair was purple
c. he was wearing stiletto heels
6. What connection does Bowie have with Christopher Walken?
a. they were in a three-way once (ewww)
b. Bowie produced the Prophecy soundtrack
c. Walken accepted the Bond villain role Bowie turned down
7. Who is Mick Rock?
a. David's publicist
b. Mick Ronson's superhero alter ego
c. a photographer
8. Which of the following was NOT worn by David in the "DJ" video?
a. a hat
b. a gas mask
c. a trench coat
9. What is Bowie's favorite dish?
a. coffee and cigarettes
b. osso bucco
c. tapas
10. Which author participated in an interview with Bowie?
a. William S. Burroughs
b. Jack Kerouac
c. Arthur C. Clark
11. What was David's first saxophone made of?
a. brass
b. acrylic
c. tin
12. Which modern artist is deemed "conventional" in 1. Outside's liner notes?
a. Monet
b. Damien Hirst
c. Warhol
13. Monte suggests that he and Lucy share a breakfast of what?
a. eggs
b. waffles
c. porridge
14. Whose father does David need to get a word to in "African Night Flight"?
a. Elizabeth's
b. Iman's
c. Mary's
15. What is Bowie's middle name?
a. Robert
b. John
c. Eric
16. Which of the following is NOT a band Bowie was in?
a. The King Bees
b. The Manish Boys
c. The Mod Lads
17. What did David supposedly live on for a while in the Seventies?
a. red and green peppers, milk, and cocaine
b. ice cream
c. coffe, cigarettes, orange juice, cocaine
18. Who made Bowie's man dress?
a. Mr. Fish
b. Alexander McQueen
c. Vivienne Westwood
19. Which Monty Python member had David help him break his leg, according to David?
a. John Cleese
b. Graham Chapman
c. Eric Idle
20. In The Hunger, John Blaylock is watching a cartoon at one point. What cartoon is it?
a. Invader ZIM
b. Tom and Jerry
c. Betty Boop
21. What broke the ice between Warhol and Bowie at their first meeting?
a. Andy's wig falling off
b. David's colorful shoes
c. Mick Ronson's loud print shirt
22. Trent Reznor appears in which Bowie video?
a. The Heart's Filthy Lesson
b. Hello Spaceboy
c. I'm Afraid Of Americans
23. Which notedly creepy actor fell asleep in David's LA pool?
a. Dennis Hopper
b. Christopher Walken
c. Gary Oldman
24. Who is Reeves Gabrels?
a. some fat guy
b. Bowie's former guitarist
c. Iman's hairdresser
25. Which two album covers are stills from The Man Who Fell To Earth?
a. Low + Station To Station
b. Low + "Heroes"
c. Station To Station + Lodger
26. Who co-designed Bowie's Union Jack Jacket with ALexander Mc Queen?
a. Gianni Versace
b. Iman
c. David himself
27. David thought that a certain area of his LA home was inhabited by a demon. Which part was it?
a. the pool (silly, its just Dennis Hopper)
b. the kitchen
c. the front yard
28. What is Bowienet.com ?
a. a site that sells fans devices to capture Bowie with
b. the home page for a race track
c. a corporate shill station, dammit!!
29. Which film soundtrack album did Bowie not contribute to?
a. The Saint
b. Cool World
c. Seven
30. What did David sell along with his island compound in Mustique?
a. the furniture
b. a cat and a dog
c. two cars
Part II: True or False
Give yourself one point for each one that applies to you.
1. Your family is worried by your love of Bowie.
2. You have more David Bowie CDs in your collection than any other artist in your collection.
3. If Bowie mentions a book or film in an interview, you go out and buy it.
4. When clothes shopping, you try and find items that look like something Bowie has worn.
5. You've dyed your hair to look like Bowie.
6. Your original reason for joining ebay was to find more Bowie stuff.
7. You see nothing wrong with paying $18 for Tin Machine I.
8. You fantasize about Jareth. And you're a straight guy.
9. You don't even consider dating someone who doesn't like Bowie.
10. Your family never asks you what you want for a gift. They just get you Bowie stuff.
11. The mere mention of his name excites you.
12. You try your best to imitate his accent, even if you're English.
13. No one wants to go to the video store with you because they know you'll just rent The Linguini Incident.
14. You read Nova Express five times in a row, even if you can't understand a word of it.
15. When you visit the salon, you ask the stylist to give you "a Ziggy".
16. You actually think your Ziggy haircut looks good.
17. Your friends constantly make fun of your Bowie fixation.
18. You start carrying around a fan and call it "my friend".
19. The average Friday night finds you working on your enormous statue of Bowie made out of eggshells and old copies of Melody Maker.
20. You consider relocating to Berlin or Tokyo, even though you can't afford it and don't speak a lick of Japanese or German.
21. Every time you enter a record store you swear you'll branch out and not buy something Bowie. Twenty mintes later you leave with your third copy of Low.
22. You feel compelled to kill anyone who says it BOO-WEE or BOW-EEE instead of BOUGH-WEE.
23. You spend one hour in front of the bathroom mirror with a magazine picture of him and a case of eyeshadow, trying to copy his make-up exactly.
24. You feel absolute religous ecstacy when in Bowie, Texas.
25. You spend $150 on ebay at one time, and all of it on Bowie items.
26. Your family has forced you into therapy.
27. Really desperate, your family tape your eyelids open, tie you onto a chair, sit you in front of a TV with Bowie videos playing, and inject you with something to make you horribly naseous.
28. After all that, you still love Bowie.
29. That guy or girl who is hopelessly in love with you had plastic surgery to look like Bowie.
30. You sing the lyrics the exact smae way he sings them, so when belting out "Fame" in the shower you progressivley deepen your voice on the "fame, fame, fame, fame, fame" part.
31. You boycott the video store becasue they don't have any Bowie films, not even Labyrinth, despite the fact that its the only video store in town and you'll now have to watch Ally Mc Beal to entertain yourself.
32. When you see the nude scenes in The Man Who Fell To Earth, you fear that you will be struck blind from looking upon God.
33. You try and see how long you can subsist on a diet of coffee, cigarettes, orange juice, cocaine, milk, and red and green peppers.
34. You conciously try to saunter down the road just like he does in the "DJ" video. You even press yourself against store windows and glance about nervously.
35. You try and convince everyone you know to cut their hair like Bowie.
36. You hope that if you get in a fight, you'll get punched in the left eye and end up with a dilated pupil, too.
37. You pick a fight just to get that coveted dilated pupil.
38. You decide that from now on you will only date blacks, Asians, and crazy Americans.
39. You learn how to make osso bucco.
40. You go to Hot Topic and complain about the lack of representation Bowie's other personas have in their shirt section. Only Aladdin Sane!? Please!!!
Multiple Choice Answers: 1:c, 2:c, 3:b, 4:b, 5:c, 6:c, 7:c, 8:a, 9:b, 10:a, 11:b, 12:b, 13:c, 14:a, 15:a, 16:c, 17:a, 18:a, 19:b, 20:b, 21:b, 22:c, 23:a, 24:b, 25:a, 26:c, 27:a, 28:b, 29:c, 30:b.
Scoring: 0-10 points - be gone, ignorant varlet! Go to Teenage Wildlife.com!
10-20 - newbie, eh? Hang in there, you'll learn in time.
20-30 - casual fan. Try and get more excited about Bowie, you miserable bore.
30-40 - You're getting there, but you have a ways to go, curious traveler.
40-50 - Well on your way to becoming obsessed.
50-60 - Hardcore fan. Keep the glitter flowing.
60-70 - Welcome to The Society Of Drooling Bowie Psychos! Your membership card will be mailed to you in few weeks.
Can't get enough?
Try Aki's Ziggy quiz, and when you're done, click her links for Lady Artist Minotaur's Quiz and Bassman's hardcore trivia quiz. Want to know which Bowie persona you are? Take kaffeeistgut and ditzthewonderkid's quiz. Even more fun if you're schizophrenic! Still can't get enough? Try Teenage Wildlife's trivia quiz, with varying levels of difficulty. |
