The Black Hole©

Your Source for Nosey News©…

Tuesday, May 02, 2000

WELCOME

By Vanessa

Welcome to the first edition of The Black Hole^©, your source of Nosey News^©. It is my goal to keep all my friends and family aware of everything each person in this vast circle is up to.

Perhaps you don’t know this person or that, but you will come to recognize everyone, and their names will become commonplace in your household in no time at all.

There is no intention of maliciousness involved with this newsletter, only the pursuit of the comedy and tragedy of our everyday lives…

On The Home Front…

*Adam and Jordan were both chosen to write the Slossan IQ test to be eligible for the enrichment program at school. Adam aced it and is now involved in the extracurricular activities of the program. Jordan is disappointed but says he will try again next year!

*Laura has entered herself in 7 Kiwanis festival competitions, which will start on May 1^st. Good luck and hope Mom doesn’t have a nervous breakdown. This passive child has also chosen to join the Badminton team at school and is doing quite well.

*Mike’s new job seems to be in the bag as he is brown-nosing the boss with voluntary overtime on any day that it just isn’t convenient for the family…

*I am busy NOT acing my programming course, it’s a hard thing to swallow my ineptness in this particular field, perhaps reading instead of surfing could cure what ails

me…

1^st Edition, Issue 1

Editor: Vanessa

The Editors newest niece, Kailee Ann

Hot Links

Topdownloads

(great site for wallpaper)

Goofball

(xtetris and more…)

Oprah

(May 1^st as Laurie was there)

Colonial Coffee

Email the editor with all of your news…

mailto:vanessaw@canada.com

Joke of the Day

Brought to you by Laura…

One day a little boy was late for school and his teacher asked “Why are you late?” The boy replied, “I had to take the bull to get studded.”

The teacher asked, “Why couldn’t your father do that?” to which the little boy responded, “He could have but the bull can do a better job of it!”

Prozac™

Moment of the Week

A certain person (has twins, works at a coffee company) was so stressed last week that she set FIRE to her kitchen twice in one day!

Grateful it’s not me.

All Around the Town…

*Laurie’s twins are keeping her on her toes these days. They have the uncanny ability to totally destroy a room in less than 30 seconds, each heading to a different area, so catching them is not easy. Our hearts go out to you Laurie. (Readers: if you would like to make a contribution of worldly advice, DON’T). Laurie, her sisters, and mom went on a little jaunt to Chicago this week. They attended a taping of Oprah, and word has it that they couldn’t stop blubbering through the whole darn thing.

*Karen is anxiously awaiting news of her father’s health and we all hope everything is well. She is also getting ready for the visit of myself, you know, collecting more farm animals to chew my shoes and make me sneeze…

*Cindy’s wedding is coming up fast. A certain entertainer is becoming a nervous wreck at the prospect of being stared at by godknows how many onlookers.

*Dave has himself a new multilevel marketing thing going on. Has made a pretty penny (US funds) on this latest internet marketing thing. Perhaps we’ll see a future article from him? Can’t wait to check out his new haircut.