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Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: Where do they get VIRGIN WOOL?
A: From ugly sheep.

Q:What nut has no shell?
A:A dough-nut.

Q:Why is a river rich?
A:Because it has two banks.

Q:What do cannibals have forlunch?
A:Baked beings.

Q:What is a musical fish?
A:A piano tuna.

Q:Why do birds in a nest always agree?
A:Because they don't want to fall out.

Q:Why is a lazy, young dog like a hill?
A:Because it's a slow pup.

Q:What has four legs and a foot?
A:A bed.

Q:What do you get if you cross a French emperor with a ton of dynamite?
A:Napoleon Blownaparte.

Q:What did the necklace say to the hat?
A:You go on a head. I'll hang around here.

Q:How do you communicate with a fish?
A:Drop him a line.

Q:What's the noisiest of all games?
A:Tennis,because you can't play it without raising a racket.

Q:Which king enjoyed doing fractions?
A:Henry the Eighth.

Q:What happened to the frog when he parked on double yellow lines?
A:He got toad away.

Q:What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman?
A:Frost-bite.

Q:Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
A:Where you left it.

Q:What is Dracula's favourite pudding?
A:I scream.

Q:What's yellow, full of holes and holds water?
A:A wet sponge.

Q:Where did the baby ear of corn come from?
A:The stalk brought her.

Q:Why are robots never afraid?
A:Because they have nerves of steel.

Q:Why was the farmer hopping mad?
A:Because someone stepped on his corn.

Q:What's the best butter in the world?
A:A goat.

Q:Why did the chicken run on to the soccer pitch?
A:Because the referee blew for a fowl.

Q:When is a plum pudding musical?
A:When it's piping hot.

Q:What is small and wobbly and sits in a pram?
A jelly baby.

Q:What bus sailed the ocean?
A:Colum-bus.

Q:Who are safe when a man-eating tiger is on the loose?
A:Women and children.

Q:What singing birds come from Cornwall?
A:The Parrots of Penzance.

Q:Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine?
A:She wanted a clean sweep.

Q:Where do frogs go when they've got bad eye-sight?
A:To a hoptician.

Q:There were two tomatoes on horseback, which one was thecowboy?
A:Neither. They were both redskins.

Q:What does a vegetarian vampire eat?
A:Blood oranges.

Q:What's a lawyer's favourite pudding?
A:Sue-it.

Q:What's a frog's favourite drink?
A:Croaka-cola.

Q:What's a chicken's favourite cake?
A:A layer cake.

Q:What do you call a Welsh biscuit?
A:Dai-gestive.

Q:What's green and sings?
A:Elvis Parsley.

Q:What stands on one leg and has a heart on its head?
A:A cabbage.

Q:How do people eat cheese in Wales?
A:Caerphilly.

Q:What's cold and comes in tins?
A:Chilli beans.

Q:What is yellow and fills fields with music?
A:Pop corn.

Q:What swims and gives milk?
A:A milk float.

Q:What's doughy and 50 metres high?
A:The leaning tower of Pizza.

Q:Why do toadstools grow close together?
A:Because they don't need mushroom.