My wife had just said, she's a-fixin' th' bed
Well I jus' be dang, th' front doorbell rang
I says what in Hades, some man in a Mercedes
Says he's come to pick up his poodle
He said this lady called, name's Mrs Katie Paul
Called him, his dog's after her hogs
Says he's a-fixin' to chomp on her chitlins
So t'get there he better not doodle
She said she's up th' hill, hang a right by th' mill
Soon's you see th' pig pen, you'll know you're there then
So I says, "This ain't quite right, you done hung a left, not a right,
And that ain't no mill there, that's my still there"
So he says he got th' call, but this ain't his dog a'tall
His friend, Jedd Wiggin, had gone frog giggin',
He's keepin' his dog, now he's after them hogs,
And I gotta get up th' hill there
So he goes back outside alone, I go to turn th' porch light on
Thing 's burned out, so I says watch out
There's stuff out there that could be a factor
So he's goin' back to his automobile, I go to bed, next thing I feel,
The whole darn house just took a good jar,
He backed into th' side of th' house with his car
And I had to scoot `im up th' hill on my tractor…
Copyright © Hugh Cadoo
