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by Ida Edith Cadivec
Bekenntnisse und Erlebnisse
From what I've read, I think that I am a sadist. I may be a masochist as well, as I very often daydream about being tortured.
I developed sexually at about twelve, and as I was very wild and disobedient growing up, my parents decided to send me to a strict convent school. Corporal punishment was allowed in this school. A strap was always used. The head nun, Sister Rosario, would take an offender -- which was very often me -- up to the front of the class, tell her to bend down and touch her toes, and then, having lifted up her tunic, she would hit her across the buttocks.
During a holiday break I met a lovely boy whom I fell in love with. I made him promise not to write to me while I was in the convent because I could get expelled for it. One evening after P.T. class, Sister Rosario said she wanted to see me in her room. She told me that she had intercepted a letter from a boy written to me and that she had no alternative but to expel me. I pleaded on my knees to her not to expel me, and eventually she said she would not but that she would have to deal severely with me and that I was to tell nobody. I gladly agreed to this, but I can tell you that if I had my choice again I would not. She told me to take off all my clothes, which I very embarrassingly did. I was nearly thirteen at this stage and I was fairly well developed. I had to kneel down in front of her while she asked numerous questions which shocked and embarrassed me, for instance:
"What is your bust measurement?"
"Do you masturbate?"
[etc]
She wanted to know exactly what I did with the boy and what he did. She then made me lie across * and gave me about twenty lashes with the leather across the buttocks. I then had to lie on my back and open my legs. She gave me six in between the legs.
After this I had to come to her room regularly and she would make me strip and would beat me with the leather each time. She would always ask me about masturbating. I tell you all this because after two weeks I definitely got a certain pleasurable sensation from the beating. It was during this time that I first started to masturbate. I still do it regularly.
Now I am a teacher and I get my pleasure from administering the punishment. The boys I teach are between ten and fourteen. I regularly take one to my room where I administer the whip and cane, having ordered him to strip naked. I enjoy punishing him but I enjoy it most when I see him getting an erection. I wear provocative clothes and I enjoy embarrassing him when he gets the erection.
hangover2.blogspot.com/2010/09/nancy-friday-my-secret-garden-womens.html
| The Irish have a history of hardship and persecution, so it is difficult to be of Irish descent and not consider the question of suffering. Our history, music, and literature carry it as a prominent theme. [After the Darkest Hour, Kathleen Brehony] |
Doesn't every gal have a little Mona Lisa mystique within her? Keep them guessing, ladies! "Are you warm, are you real, Mona Lisa? Or just a cold and lonely, lovely work of art?
"Cui dolet meminit"the great thinkers of old times used to say, and that assertion based on experiences and philosophical analysis as well, was strongly confirmed by all the generations who followed. Only sufferings are imprinted in the human soul without ever being erased, whenever the mind is eager to remember. Only sufferings remain always active, when joys are few and rare and left without fulfillment and without hopes for future achievements.The paces of suffering, even if alleviated by new circumstances, imprint in the memory of time the strongest echoes that never diminish in intensity. Because, the vehemence of suffering and pain stays always alive, accompanying from far way or from a loser approach ever step of man, for the rest of his life.
Adriana Dardan
(Silenced Paces)
Also see
| Ann Wilkins describes in the journal Christian Family (in the 1920s) how for her discipline fell into two distinct parts. Every time she caught her son in some misdemeanour he had first to be whipped not to punish him for his wrong-doing but to break his will and render him contrite. Only then did this preliminary whipping cease; to be followed after an interval by a second whipping specifically to correct his fault. For us contrition may be an unfamiliar and unimportant concept, but for Mrs. Wilkins it was a perfectly natural and necessary part of correction. It meant the transformation of a willful child into one who was willing humbly to acknowledge his sin, and submissively to accept his need for punishment. Only when he had been duly punished could forgiveness be offered and received. We can be sure that Ann Wilkins thrashed her son with an evangelical fervour that caused him much distress. That he was tempted to bring the painful proceedings to a swift and premature conclusion by a simulated contrition cannot be doubted. However, this "devilish temptation" was something that a mother had zealously to guard against. Mrs. Wilkins believed that the first whipping should be inflicted "with such thoroughness that there is never an occasion to doubt that the boy's writhing under the lash contains no element of rebellion, and that his tears express not angry defiance, but an utterly broken, docile, submissive and contrite spirit." She adds, "for only a boy who is truly repentant will be able to submit his flesh willingly to the further whipping that will correct his misdeed and allow him to appropriate the blessing of forgiveness." However, once judged contrite and before the "corrective whipping" was given, the boy was made to sit "on a hard kitchen stool" and write out a passage of scripture that had later to be memorized and recited perfectly before bedtime prayers. "This copying should be done under close supervision and if there is any restiveness or impatience that betokens a less than perfectly contrite spirit, then he needs to be whipped again until completely broken and genuinely contrite. His mockery of God by pretending to a sorrowfulness for sin that is not truly heartfelt needs then to be separately and most severely punished along with the correction for his original misdeed that will almost certainly by comparison pale into insignificance." We can only begin to imagine how Mrs. Wilkins' boy felt subject to a whipping that had no clear terminal point other than his mother's personal judgment of whether he was sufficiently contrite. How helpless he must have felt as time after time the flexible rattan was swished upward, pausing momentarily at the top of its rise, and then, with no doubt skilful wrist action on the part of his mother, brought whistling down to crack across his vulnerable, stark naked, boyish buttocks, sinking for an agonizing moment into his soft pillowy flesh. His frantic writhing and twisting, his sobbing screams, his hopeless pleading, all were ignored in the greater interest of his spiritual well-being. Long after he was reduced to a broken, weeping child, desperate to be forgiven and prepared to accept anything, anything, to be reconciled to the source of love and affection, still the whipping continued. Out of a consuming love, his mother wanted there to be no risk that any sinful self-regard, any devilish willfulness, would remain that might hinder her son from submitting with an open heart to the further correction that would enable him to be forgiven and reconciled. |
Spankophila - the spanking fetish related to masochism or algolagnia, documented cases abound both in clinical narrative and in literature.
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