Vulnerable

Author's Notes: This is written from Dawn's P.O.V. and takes place during the episode "The Body"

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When Buffy told me that mom was dead I froze. My first thought was so selfish. Why did she have to tell me here at school I'll make a fool of myself. And then her words dawned on me. She was telling me mom was dead. She was telling me that I would never see my mother alive again. My body reacted before my brain fully understood the concept of mom being dead.

I started to scream and cry. All I could think of was: It's not enough time. I need to see her agian. Please God. Give me five minutes with my mommy. I crumbled at her feet hating her for telling me this. Hating her for making this nightmare come true.

"I hate you" I whispered. Just before I collapsed on the floor.

I really did. If she was all I had left I really did hate her. I wanted my mother. I needed her. Buffy dragged my body off the floor with her slayer strength.

"Come on Dawnie, she said softly "we have to go to the hospital".

I cried out and tried to fight her but I couldn't keep it up and after a few minutes I relented by letting her drag me across the school hallways and then by allowing her to put me in Mr. Giles' car. On the way to the hospital I thought about different reasons of hating Buffy. Everything about her sickened me. "Come on Dawnie". How could she say that to me. She never, ever called me Dawnie. By the time Buffy and Mr. Giles had dragged me back out of the car and into the lobby I had decided that Buffy was lying to me. Mom couldn't be dead. The doctors had told me to my face that mom was perfectly fine. I relaxed a little bit. Soon I would be with my mom and she would be angry with Buffy for lying to me. But she would forgive her and we would all hug. It would be okay. This time I would treat mom better. Make her breakfast in bed. Not fight with Buffy so I wouldn't have to see mom's strained and tired face which begged me and Buffy to get along. I would be the perfect daughter. The elevator doors opened and the tears blurred my eyes. I blinked hard trying to make them go away. Stop crying. There's no need to cry. Mom is fine. I heard wrong. Mom is fine. Buffy walked me to a chair.

"Stay here Dawn. Willow and the others will be here soon"

I think she meant to say more but the corners of her mouth started to twitch and they crumpled down right before the tears came. She pivoted around quickly so I wouldn't see her cry and buried herself in Mr. Giles' jacket.

"No, she said quickly, drying off her tears. "I'm fine, I can handle this. Giles can you take care of Dawn while I go clean off my face in the bathroom"

"Of course" Mr. Giles said

As Buffy fled to the bathroom he came and sat down beside me. Looking at me awkwardly he extended his arm and tried to put it around me.

"Get away from me" His arm shot back to his body faster than if I had been a demon in one of his dusty old books.

We sat in silence. I watched the table. Waited for Buffy. Ten minutes went by. Then fifteen. Then half an hour. Still neither of us moved to go see what happened to my sister.

I craned my neck in the direction of the washrooms. I played with my hands looked at my nails. Forty five minutes went by.

"Should I go check on her?" I hated the weak and trembly way my voice sounded.

"Yes I think that she would like that better then if I went" He gave a little chuckle that was obviously meant to make me feel better.

"That's a joke"

"I don't get it"

I lifted my legs which felt oddly heavy and went off in the direction that Buffy had gone. When I finally saw the little stick woman on the door I realized Mr. Giles' joke. Giles was a guy. Woman's room. What a stupid joke. I leaned my body against the door and walked in. The washroom was covered in puke green tiles.

"Buffy" I called

The puke colored tiles were really getting to me. I ran into a stall locked the door and leaned over the toilet just in time. The bile came rushing up my throat. Mom is dead, dead, dead. She'll never ever come back. She's
a stone cold body. Her life will be reduced to a grave stone. I threw up again and again. When I finally finished I realized that I vomit on some of my hair. Crying I unlocked the stall and went to the sinks. I carefully washed out any traces of vomit. When I was done I realized that I still hadn't found Buffy. Slipping out of the washroom I saw her back with Mr. Giles.

"Buffy" I called

"Dawn. Are you okay? You were gone for ten minutes"

"Is it true?" I asked desperately. She couldn't even look at me as she nodded

"Where is everyone?" I asked, trying to go back to pretending she was lying.

"I just talked to them. They got caught in traffic."

I flew at her as soon as I felt the now familiar tears. Her body felt stiff underneath me. But I kept on hugging her. She was all I had left to protect me from the nightmares of reality.

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