In my early days as master of a puppy (what a noble title for a man), I envisioned that the box of milk bone biscuits would be dipped into several times daily to reward my new best friend.  The dog would be wonderful – fetching my slippers, getting the paper, and barking when the doorbell rang.  Several years of living with two black Pomeranians have made me realize just how foolish my original thoughts of dog ownership were.

Let me tell you the function of the milk bone biscuit box in my house.  My dogs get two to three biscuits a day.  Period.  My dogs do not need to earn these biscuits.  They get these biscuits mainly because they are a creature, by nature, that has an amazingly developed…breath.

In essence, I “reward” my dogs for having bad breath.  I mean BAD breath.  If these two furry animals (having a combined weight of slightly over twenty pounds) ever panted in the same direction, they would produce a force which could easily drop a horse at fifty paces.  My dogs are incapable, of course, of realizing I am giving them these crunchy morsels in an effort to make my house smell less like the inside of their mouths.  When they hear the box being opened, and the telltale sound of the remaining biscuits in the box shaking about, they think it is party time.  They are so excited, they don’t which way is up.  Actually, they don’t know which way is up regardless of their emotional condition.

How I wish I could get excited over something so small, inexpensive and crunchy.  Imagine how blissful life would be if a box of biscuits did it for you.  Every single day after work you’d race home to your box of biscuits.  It would be impossible to be any happier.  Well, maybe a biscuit followed by getting your tummy scratched.  And the best part is the box only costs about four dollars.

Honestly, I think I give my dogs biscuits because I like to see them get THAT happy.  Their lives are so simple.  And it is so easy to make them super happy.
 

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