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“Where is my fairy prince? He was supposed to come get me on the twelfth
hour…but he hasn’t arrived.” The girl with red shining locks grinned and
kicked her feet. “He’s bringing me a gown of dewdrops and spider gossamer.
And do you know what his name is?”
The old woman smiled. “And what might it be, child?”
“Zelgadis.”
The woman sighed sadly. “She still hasn’t forgotten him yet.
Poor girl.” She muttered. She looked up. “What would you do if he didn’t
come back?” She asked hesitantly.
“I would cry for seven days and seven nights.” She smiled. “But
he will. He shall ride up on his white steed and shall carry me off to
live with the pixies. And when he does, we shall marry, and I shall be
queen of the buttercups.” Lina smiled. “Will you please get me some flowers?
I want to weave them in my hair and string them over my shoulders so I
will look pretty when he comes.”
The old woman tending the fire sighed and touched the injured
child on the head. “I know it hurt, dear. I know it hurts. But you have
to come back. He wouldn’t want to see you like this.”
* * *
Lina drifted along the pathways of blessed nothingness. Her silk
dress shone softly against her skin, hair billowing in the wind that caressed
her face. She wanted to stay like this forever. Far away from…
What happened again?
She knew it was something big. Something important. And it hurt.
A lot.
Hurt? She couldn’t even remember what hurt was. It was something
unpleasant. She shook her head. If it wasn’t nice, she didn’t want to deal
with it. It was nice here. So she would stay here.
Confident in her decision, she let the eddies and currents in
the nothingness pull her along, this way and that, not having to move,
not having to think. It was deep green here, with blue swirls of pleasant
mist.
But…it was something important. Lina paused, trying to remember.
It was something very important.
Well, if she couldn’t remember, it must not have been so important.
The world spun about her, and she was drifting in a court room
all of red velvet with gold trim, marble floors and high ceilings. She
smiled at her green satin gown, and twirled in it experimentally. She giggle
delightedly as it swirled around her ankles.
“…this dance…?” A voice came from behind her, sounding like it
was through deep water. She didn’t mind. She just felt so happy…
She turned and a beautiful youth in white offered her his arm.
She took it, and he led her to the dance floor, swirling with flashes of
color and happy couples. They started dancing a beautiful waltz, music
drifting over them like a waterfall.
The boy...man…she couldn’t tell, he sort of…shifted…smiled at
her. There was something wrong with him. She peered at him, noticing now
the blue skin with stones doting his face and body. How had she missed
it? It was obvious. Silver, wire hair glinted from his scalp, and his skin
felt like stone. I must have been tired…not paying attention…
But that wasn’t what was wrong. That felt…right, almost. It was
something else.
I can’t tell…There was…there was something wrong with his neck…
“…go to…the balcony…?” It sounded like it was through water again.
What was wrong with his neck? She couldn’t figure it out. She nodded happily.
It doesn’t matter. I’m with him now, nothing matters.
Why was being with him so important?
Was that what I forgot? Lina pondered this. No, I think it was
something else…
He smiled at her and said something. It was swept away by the
current of the ether that seemed to fill this world, making things at a
distance go fuzzy and tend to slide out of view.
She found herself nodding. “Would you like to go back in?” She
asked softly. He nodded.
And his head fell to the floor.
I should be disturbed at this…Lina thought, confused. But…why?
I used to know…
She shook her own head, trying to dislodge the stray thought
that for some reason she couldn’t figure out threatened this dream.
Dream?
The youth picked up his…head and smiled at her, holding out his
hand.
Is…that what I forgot? Lina stared in horror. No. She didn’t
want to dream…she didn’t…she wanted to remember…
What did I forget? She ignored the worried boy and stared at
her hands. They were covered with something red…
Red? She looked closer.
It’s…blood.
What? She spun to stare at the boy, his white tunic a dark crimson
with blood, he stumbled and fell. Lina gasped and stared at the rest of
the ball. The couples turned and as one looked towards them. Oh no…they’re
going to think it was me…
They just laughed and turned away.
What? Why…wait…he’s not…some youth…his name is…Zelgadis…
Zelgadis? Wait…
ZELGADIS!! He, he died…he DIED!! Oh my god! I…
The beautiful dream world collapsed, bits of it whirling away
in the nothingness. Lina screamed.
No! No, it was peaceful here! I was…I shouldn’t have remembered,
I…
Should I?
Zelgadis smiled at her and drifted away in the eddies.
What happened? I…I saw Zelgadis die, and I ended up…here…
But where was here? She didn’t know. And it wasn’t that she’d
forgotten.
It’s important, dammit! Think! Where could you possibly be?Could
Xellos have put her here? No…he looked annoyed as she descended into darkness…that
was all she remembered. She’s screamed, and woken up…there…
Where?!
“…poor girl….”
What was that?
“…lost her mind …heartless jerk…deserve her anyway…”
The sound was coming from all around her. Did I…did I…go insane?
Oh shit. Just what she needed. Then…I lost my mind…and haven’t found it
yet…
My subconscious…
“…deserve…die…”
I’m hearing what’s happening…
“Can you hear me?” Lina asked the blackness softly.
“…Talked! She…”
“…imagining…”
“NO! I talked! I did! Help!”
“…right…should…” The voices started drifting away.
“Wait! Help! I have to…I have…to…” Have to what? Zelgadis was
dead. Why not descend into that dream again? It was tugging at the back
of her mind. Why not? It would make her happy.
But it would be a hallow happiness. It wasn’t real. And that
was wrong. It should be real. A delusion was just that, it wasn’t Zelgadis
there. It was only a fake.
No one could be him. But…was life worth living, anyway? Was it
worth the fight to conciousness?
Yes. She was Lina Inverse! She wouldn’t let something like this
keep her down! She would…she…
Gods, how will I get over it? He…I need him. I need him so badly,
I never knew what I needed until I had it and it was taken away,
oh, Zelgadis…
…Help…
ZELGADIS?
Lina spun around. Where? She heard…
Another dream. But…it didn’t feel fuzzy like that, it had a desperate
air to it…
Could he be…alive? No, She saw him die. She saw the knife slice
through his neck and his head topple to the floor…
But…it shouldn’t have.
Wait a moment…he was stone…he had the curse…that shouldn’t have
happened…
The illusion…
The illusion should have shattered the moment he died. But it
didn’t. It didn’t. He shouldn’t have died.
He’s…still…alive…
He’s still ALIVE!!
Lina flung herself out of the pit of her subconscious, threw
her mind back to her body. She had to hurry. She had to…
Lina sat straight up in a small room with an old lady tending
a fireplace. The woman looked at her kindly and with pity.
“There, there, dear. It’s all right…” The woman cooed. “I’m just
feeding your pixies. Get some rest now before You hurt yourself--”
“Where is he!”
“Shhh, calm down. Where is who?”
“Zelgadis! Where is he?” Lina wanted to strangle the woman. But…she
had been mad. No one would take her seriously right now.
Do I take myself seriously? Am I thinking straight, or am I still
insane…? No. No, ignore those thoughts. All that was important right now
was saving Zelgadis. She frowned.
“Zelgadis? I believe he’s picking you flowers now, dear. Now
rest, or he will worry.”
For a moment Lina allowed her hope to soar. He was okay! He was
back and…No. She looked at the woman’s kind face. She’s only humoring a
insane, lost girl. But…
“Would you get me some flowers?” She asked hesitantly.
“For your fairy prince? Of course, dear.” The old woman smiled
fondly. “I will be right back.
“Thanx!” Lina waited until the woman left. Then she leapt out
the window and onto the turrets.
Where are the steps to the dungeons? Lina leapt through the kitchen
window, considerably scaring the chef.
“Linda! Ah, you scared me! Would you like a snack?” He asked
kindly.
Oh gods, how long have I been insane? “No, I am just trying to
find my fairy prince. Thank you!” She hurried off.
The chef shook his head. “I hope you find him, child.” He said
softly.
Lina raced down the halls, trying to remember where the dungeons
were. Turn here, left here, tow steps this way and “AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……….”
Lina fell down the stairs.
Lina pulled herself up from the hard stone and felt her lip,
touching blood. “Dammit…that was stupid. Well, at least I found the stairs…”
She looked around.
Zelgadis…where are you? In the same one, of course. He should
be…Lina ran along the corridor, looking into the cells. He should be innnnn…She
spun around a corner. This one!
It was empty except for a pile of straw.
Lina sank to her knees. “No…He isn’t…”
He wouldn’t be out in the open!! Lina slipped hurriedly into
the cell, digging at the straw. He’s in here, he has to be, he’s got to
be…Lina couldn’t help it, she started crying. “Dammit Zelgadis, you have
to be here, I need you, you have to be here, please…I need you, you can’t
have died, please tell me I’m not dreaming again, please…” She scraped
against stone. But not the rough stone of the dungeon, it was like warm,
polished marble…
“Zelgadis!” Lina all but yelled, knowing if she did the guards
would come looking for her. “Zelgadis, you’re okay, I thought you were
dead Zelgadis I love you don’t ever…” She stopped. “Zelgadis?” She touched
him on the shoulder gently.
He didn’t move.
“Oh no.” She put her hands over her mouth. “Oh no. No, he can’t
You can’t, Zelgadis, please! Zelgadis! No, you can’t leave me! I just found
you, please!! Zelgadis!! Please!!”
* * *
What was that? He shifted, not liking being disturbed. Who was
he? He didn’t remember. What was he? He couldn’t remember that either.
All he wanted to do was rest.
“Dammit Zelgadis, be here!” Zel…gadis…that’s who he was, Zelgadis…
I just want to sleep…Whoever it was, he wanted them to stop shaking
him.
“Please, Zelgadis, I need you,” Lina? Could it be…
No.
“Zelgadis! I’m so glad!”
Oh but he wanted to hear those words so badly…
“Zelgadis?”
No. He wouldn’t. It was nothing but a fever dream, he was almost
dead anyway…
“I just found you! Please, Zelgadis, please!!” Something fell
on his chest. And…it was wet. Wet?
“Please, Zelgadis…Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me again…” It shuddered.
No…not something. Lina. It’s Lina…It couldn’t be. She was insane,
he heard before he passed out lest. She’d lost her mind when she saw ‘him’
die…
I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have. It’s all my fault…
“Zel, please, I don’t want to go insane again, but I’m going
to if you die…you dead once was too much…Dying twice would be torture…”
Zel opened one eye and looked at her. “Shame on you for spoiling
my nap.” E managed weakly through cracked lips.
“Zelgadis!” She flung herself at him, hurting his only mostly
healed ribs.
“Ow! Ow ow ow!”
She jumped back. “Oh! Zelgadis I’m sorry, you’re still--”
“No,” He said softly, “No, it was actually, nice…” He groaned and tried
to get up. And failed. “I don’t suppose…you have any water with you?” He
asked stiffly. “I…have been down here…about a month, I think.”
“Zelgadis, It’s all my fault, I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, I should
have--”
“Shhh, don’t worry, With this curse I last for at least a month and
a half without feeding. It does hurt, though…”
“Oh Zel, I’ll--”
“NO!”
Lina froze. “What?”
“Lina, please,” He begged, “Don’t leave me again. Please.” He looked
at her pleadingly. “I…”
Lina nodded. She shook her head and appeared to get a hold on herself.
“Right. Then we have to get you out of here.”
“The door is locked magically. We can’t.”
“You’re so pessimistic. Of course we can! You’re almost starved to
death, you’ll make it through.” She lifted him up.
“I don’t think--”
“Shut up and don’t, then. And…through!” She shoved him through the
bars, catching his chest between them and cracking a rib. Zelgadis cried
out in pain, biting his lip.
“Zelgadis, are you okay?” Lina asked anxiously.
“I’m…fine…” He managed. “Just…out of breath…”
Lina frowned. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m in the most extensive pain I have ever experienced in my entire
existance.”
“Better. Hold on.” Lina closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to
heal Zelgadis. But he was so beaten up and starved she couldn’t do more
than half heal him. “I…can’t do more, Zelgadis, I’m sorry, I--”
He put a finger over her mouth. “Shhh, I’m already feeling amazingly
better.” He grinned. Now, think we can get out of here?” He asked.
“Yes…hold on.” She slowly cast illusion to make him into the form of
a tall, dark man of about thirty. “Come on. Tell them you’re my cousin
and heard I lost my mind, tell them you’re taking me back home.” She stood
still for a moment and plastered a silly grin on her face. They walked…stumbled…up
the stairs. She grinned at the cook, who was looking worriedly for her.
“There you are! Ah…who is that, my lady?” He asked slowly, glaring
at Zelgadis.
“I’m her…cousin, I came to take her home.” He frowned. “What happened
to her? She never…”
The cook sighed. “The man she loved was killed.” He sighed. “Right
in front of her eyes. The blood even got on her, poor thing.” He turned
to do the dishes. “I thought he was just stringing her along. But before
he died he screamed a confession of love to her…everyone was pretty moved
by it. Then that jerk Xellos just left her here. Had some ‘urgent business.’
Hah! He just didn’t want to take care of a girl who’d gone mad.” The cook
turned back. “Glad to know there’s someone who cares about her. Well, get
her home, and if she talks nonsense, just agree with her. It’s best.”
“I will.” Zelgadis turned them to leave.
Lina smiled at the cook over her shoulder. “I told you I’d find my
fairy prince, didn’t I?”
The cook smiled. “That you did dear, that you did.”