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TOP 1O SIGNS YOU'RE A CTHULHU MYTHOS MANIAC
by James Ambuehl
10. Your spellchecker has a large added dictionary, with words like
'Cthulhu,' 'Miskatonic,' and 'Alhazred.'
9. Proper names like 'Nicaraugua,' 'Zarathustra,' 'Astaroth' and the
name of the town 'Issaquah' in Washington, make you think of ancient
evils.
8. Whenever you read the blurbs on the back of paperbacks mentioning
'ancient evils' in bookstores, you spend several minutes skimming thru
it, looking for references to the NECRONOMICON, while your wife or
girlfriend tries in vain to get you out of said bookstore.
7. You stand in front of the mirror, staring at your premature pattern
baldness, and wonder if perhaps you were adopted and actually hail from
Innsmouth.
6. Whenever someone asks your pet's names, you end up having to give
them a short diatribe on the Cthulhu Mythos.
5. Your friends avoid you beause you're always giving them short
diatribes on the Cthulhu Mythos.
4. Someone asks you about a certain Mythos book or entity, and you
proceed to roll off reams of encyclopedic lore, with a full bibliography
included.
3. You hope you really don't have a rich, eccentric uncle, and if you
do and he dies and wills his property to you, you'll know to burn it to
the ground at once without ever setting foot upon it.
2. You've gone mad and slaughtered all the neighbors, and though it's
quiet now, it really reeks -- and you can't move away because you'd need
an entire convoy of semi-trucks to haul all your books and fanzines.
1. You design a Cthulhu Mythos fiction website, and call it LETTERS
FROM OUTSIDE!
