|
| |
   
Last Updated on
Monday, July 01, 2002
|
Bloodlines
Synopsis
| Review
| Titles |
|
NO STARS! |
|
"Nothing stops wriggling better than a good old-fashioned
head butt!" |
|
ISSUES: |
|
2 issues, biweekly (Dec. 1993). |
|
WRITER(S): |
|
Dan Raspler. |
|
ARTIST(S): |
|
Chuck Wojtkiewicz, Agop Gemdjian, Bill
Willingham, Keith Wilson, Sal Velluto, Jeff Albrecht, Del
Barras, Val Semeiks, Tom McWeeney. |
|
MAJOR HEROES: |
|
Superman, Justice League, most major DC heroes of
1993. |
|
MAJOR VILLAINS: |
|
Unnamed alien parasites. |
|
SUPPORTING CAST: |
|
A whole cast of new heroes inadvertently created
by the aliens' appetites. |
|
THE PLOT: |
|
Alien parasites come to Earth to feed on the
spinal fluids of their hapless victims. As the death toll
mounts, some of their victims develop superpowers. The new
heroes band together with the old to stop the aliens. |
|
TRIVIA: |
|
Of all the new heroes, only one -- Hitman --
managed to become a fan favorite in his own ongoing series. |
|
RECOMMENDED READING: |
|
None. |
|
NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THEY CAME FROM or what they
want, but Earth is visited by mysterious flying aliens that bear more
than a passing resemblance to the aliens that keep coming back to fight
Sigourney Weaver. They soon attack humans, killing hundreds of people as
they indulge in their taste for spinal fluid. Oh, and these aliens are
also (conveniently) shape-shifters, so it's impossible to track them
down.
Oddly enough, not all the victims die from their encounter with the
alien parasites. In fact, a handful of them are transformed into beings
with great and unusual powers. These "new blood" heroes join
forces with the older DC heroes to defeat the aliens, but things start
looking bad when half the heroes are captured and "absorbed"
by the master alien, a massive creature who hungers for more than just
spinal fluid.
Old heroes and new join together to defeat this new menace, save
their comrades and, well, you can guess the rest.
OH MY. SO LITTLE EXPLETIVES, so little time.
"Excrement" comes to mind. "Embarrassment," too.
"Excruciating," even. On every possible level, this
represented the absolute worst of DC's creative efforts during the
1990s.
Putting aside the ridiculous premise that getting one's spinal fluid
sucked out can produce a wide range of amazing superpowers (it beats
radioactive spider bites, I guess), what was the point of this series?
To feed off the success of the Alien movies? Or perhaps this was
just a way to introduce a new generation of superheroes to the market?
If that was the case, then the idea was a flop; with the possible
exception of Hitman, not one of the "new blood" is anything
close to interesting, and few have made any return appearances in the
regular DC titles.
The violence is mindless and sickening, the dialogue is too inane for
words, and the final confrontation is full of such snappy patter as the
quote above. I mean, do we really need 20 pages of everyone finding new
ways to say, "The only way to beat this monster is to fight
together!"?
All in all, Bloodlines is a complete
embarrassment to everyone involved, especially you if you paid full
cover price for any of the annuals. Do yourself a favor -- don't waste
your time. If you truly want to sample any of these annuals, go straight
to the bargain bin and smuggle them out of the store underneath your
coat. Believe me, you're better off spending an eternity in hell for
stealing than letting the store clerk know how desperate you are for
"entertainment" like this. |
|
ANNUAL
 |
Action Comics Annual #5 |
|
Adventures of Superman Annual #5 |
|
Batman Annual #17 |
|
Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #3 |
|
Batman: Shadow of the Bat Annual #1 |
|
Deathstroke Annual #2 |
|
Demon Annual #2 |
|
Detective Comics Annual #6 |
|
Eclipso Annual #1 |
|
Flash Annual #6 |
|
Green Arrow Annual #6 |
|
Green Lantern Annual #2 |
|
Hawkman Annual #1 |
|
Justice League America Annual #7 |
|
Justice League International Annual #4 |
|
L.E.G.I.O.N. Annual #4 |
|
Legion of Super-Heroes Annual #4 |
|
Lobo Annual #1 |
|
New Titans Annual #9 |
|
Robin Annual #2 |
|
Superman Annual #5 |
|
Superman: The Man of Steel Annual #2 |
|
Team Titans Annual #1 |
|
HERO INTRODUCED
|
Loose Cannon, "super-strong ex-cop" |
|
Sparx, "lightning-wielding hero" |
|
Ballistic, "armed and dangerous vigilante" |
|
Cardinal Sin, "disillusioned priest" |
|
Joe Public, "strength-siphoning patriot" |
|
Gunfire, "high-tech renegade" |
|
Hitman, "the name sez it all!" |
|
Geist, "ghostly night-hero" |
|
Prism, "light-manipulating scientist" |
|
Argus, "shadow-melding undercover agent" |
|
Hook, "hook-handed former soldier" |
|
Nightblade, "regenerating martial artist" |
|
Mongrel, "darkforce-blasting rebel" |
|
Terrorsmith, "monster-making villain(?)" |
|
Lionheart, "armored high-tech knight" |
|
Pax, "last of his race, space-shaman" |
|
Jamm, "prodigious surfer-dude" |
|
Layla, "tough-as-nails space explorer" |
|
Anima, "Animus-summoning grunge rocker" |
|
Razorsharp, "sword-armed hacker" |
|
Myriad, "personality-absorbing assassin" |
|
Edge, "blade-hurling community hero" |
|
Chimera, "illusion-creating hero" |
|
| Spinoffs and Related Titles |
Hitman
(1996 - present)
Clever twist on the anti-hero theme by writer Garth
Ennis, in which we're introduced to a hitman who specializes in rubbing
out superheroes, supervillains, and other assorted
"meta-humans." A hit-and-miss affair (no pun intended), but
altogether an interesting read. |
Anima
(15 issues, 1994-1995)
Forgettable piece of fluff involving a punk rocker who
can summon forth a savage spirit to do savage things. Hardly a shining
example of the comic industry's commitment to strong female characters
-- or anything else, for that matter. |
Argus
(6 issues, 1995)
Argus is an undercover cop infiltrating the mob to
prevent a mob leader, D'Angelo, from using satellite technology to
create an empire. His job is made easier with his super strength,
invisibility and mysterious visual powers. Writers Mark Wheatley and
Allan Gross tell a half-decent story, and the artwork's not too bad,
either. |
Gunfire
(13 issues, 1994-95)
Introduced in the Deathstroke annual, Gunfire has the
ability to agitate the molecules of solid objects -- which, of course,
enables him to fire bullets from anything he picks up. There is
absolutely nothing I can say about this short-lived series that would
make it sound interesting, so let's move on. |
Showcase '94
(12 issues, 1994)
Tom, a fellow crossover fan, reminded me of the backup
stories in the Showcase '94 mini-series, a series that showcased
new talent. The characters were: Gunfire in issues #1-2 (a lead-in to
his own series); Razorsharp and the Psyba-Rats in #3-4; Loose Cannon in
#5; Sparx in #6; Terrorsmith in #7; Pax in #9; Ballistic in #12. |
The Psyba-Rats
(3-issue mini-series, 1995)
The Psyba-Rats are criminal computer hackers led by
Razorsharp, who is out to find... the secret formula for Zesti-Cola?
Man, this comic guide has to be pulling my leg. Anyway, Robin makes a
guest appearance, so give it a try. |
Loose Cannon
(4-issue mini-series, 1995)
"Mr. Cannon? The Hulk's lawyer on line one."
Loose Cannon, introduced in the Action Comics annual, is big, brutish
and gets stronger the madder he gets. Not much in the way of plot, with
L.C. and the Eradicator trading blows. Yawn. |
The Blood Pack
(4-issue mini-series, 1995)
You know a superhero group is in trouble when the leader
of the group -- the one with all the wisdom and face value on the front
of the comic -- is Jade, the green gal formerly of Infinity, Inc.
Members of the New Blood -- does it matter who? -- team up to save the
world from evil TV producers. Dreck. |
|
