The child
of G'nelson and G'nancy, young G'Nort Esplanade G'neeshmacher was a bit
different from others on G'newt. It was rumored that his real father was
the great Green Lantern G'newmann G'noggs, and that G'nort's supposed
parents were paid to raise the child until his twenty-first birthday. In
school, his mind would wander, the only thing that held his interest was
tales of the Green Lantern. G'nort's poor self image didn't help either,
he was branded an idiot. After bringing home a failing report card, G'Nort
was sent to his room for six months without supper. He took that time to
leave home and explore the world, the details of the trip still remain a
mystery.
[SO # 34]Returning to school,
G'Nort tried hard to fit in but he couldn't. He became an object of
ridicule. He decided he would seek out the Green Lantern G'newmann. There
he was told tales of his uncle's celebrated career as Green Lantern and
former teacher at the Manga Khan School of Melodrama. Uncle G'newmann knew
his nephew was an imbecile, but he also knew he had to give G'Nort a
future. To this end he visited the Guardians
of the Universe. He used his great influence to pull some strings and
have G'Nort admitted into the Corps. Or so the story went. In actuality,
G'newmann had contacted the clown-like race of Poglachians who created the
Green Lantern Corps to show the races of the universe how to get more fun
out of life. As for the Poglachian
Green Lantern Corps, they were told to do whatever they felt like with
the power rings. Even this story was not entirely true. The Poglachian
Green Lantern Corps had really been created by the Weaponeers
of Qward. In the absence of the Guardians of the Universe, the
Qwardians wished to discredit the Oans' Green Lantern Corps. A fanatic
group of Weaponeers, the Cult of the Red Man, worshipped Sinestro,
believing he would return. They claimed their once and future ruler had
devised their plan. If the Guardians ever returned to recreate the Corps,
Qward wanted the races of the positive matter universe to resist the idea.
To avoid attracting the attention of the real Green Lanterns, they gave
the rings to imbeciles and morons, to make the real Green Lanterns look
worthless and ineffective. The Qwardians set up the "Clown
Guardians" with rings powered by a form of "Anti-Oan
Energy". The Qwardians used their large idol of Sinestro as the
source of the Anti-Oan energy. G'nort's career as a
Green Lantern started off small. He was first assigned to Space Sector
2112, a portion of space inhabited by life no larger than an amoeba. Surprisingly,
G'Nort
made his first (and for a while only) arrest while on vacation. Staying at
a beach front resort, he recognized the Scarlet Skier from some old
"wanted" posters, and apprehended him while he was swimming. He
pulled off the Skier's trunks and bit him on the behind. This was a great
humiliation for the Scarlet Skier, the locater for the dreaded Mister
Nebula, Cosmic Designer.
[JLA2 # 36] G'Nort first met
Earth's Justice League International on Orinda, homeworld of the Manhunters.
The planet had been cloaked, and G'Nort had stumbled into while flying
through space. He had been wandering around months looking for a bathroom
when the JLI Strike Force arrived. The Justice Leaguers, including Green
Lanterns Hal
Jordan, Arisia,
and Katma Tui-Stewart, were there to shut down the Manhunters who were
threatening the Earth during the Millennium event. They were later joined
by Driq
of Criq. Although Superman
was impressed by G'nort's abilities, Green Lantern Hal Jordan took the Man
of Steel aside to explain that G'Nort was an idiot and really had just
stumbled onto the planet. Evidently, Jordan had met the canine Green
Lantern in an undocumented adventure. After defeating the Manhunters, the
JLI quickly took leave of Orinda, leaving G'Nort in space.
[JLA2 # 10] Making his way to
Earth, G'Nort attacked Manga Khan's massive trading vessel, the Cluster.
His strike damaged the ship's cloaking shield and main power units,
forcing Khan to move up his deadline and attack Earth. Surprisingly, this
helped Earth's super-human protectors. The opposition was more than Manga
Khan could handle and still make a profit. The Cluster withdrew. Earth was
safe once more, until G'Nort decided he would spend some time with the
JLI.
[JLA2 # 14-16] G'Nort would visit the Justice
League repeatedly, whether they liked it or not. Seeing how the
Leaguers were otherwise busy, G'Nort decided to amuse himself. He spotted
an object crashing into Central Park and pursued. The object was
actually the Scarlet Skier, released from prison by the L.E.G.I.O.N.'S
parole board. He had come to Earth to exact revenge upon his enemy, G'Nort.
Unfortunately, he didn't count on a crash landing that would ruin his
skies. The two fought, with G'Nort pounding the Skier through to the
subway system. G'Nort called in the Justice League to help find the Skier. They didn't have to
look far. The Skier tried to commit suicide by jumping off the World Trade
Center before he was stopped by G'Nort. The Scarlet Skier's life had
become a wreck, humiliated by his defeat by G'Nort, he was mistaken for a
street performer, out of power with skies beyond repair, trapped on Earth
with G'Nort. The Green Lantern of
G'newt offered to fix his enemy's skies and allow the Skier to defeat him
for a change. This cheered up the Scarlet Skier and the two became
friends. It was a hard friendship though. G'Nort accidentally blew up the
skis.
[JLA2 # 36] During a botched
robbery attempt at a New York museum, the Injustice League fought a group
of terrorists who had already laid claim to the building. The Injustice
League members were declared heroes. They decided to parlay this good
fortune applying for membership in the Justice League. Maxwell Lord
realized he could get rid of two of his problems, the Injustice League and
G'Nort, by setting them up as Justice League Antarctica.
G'Nort found a friend
in Big Sur, the powerful, yet slightly brainless behemoth of the new
League. The Green Lantern of G'newt even managed to talk the Scarlet Skier
into joining the would-be super team. Although it was assumed the
Antarctica group would not be heard of again, fate had other plans. The
Antarctic League found themselves face-to-face with genetically engineered
killer penguins. Though the team survived, it was decided that for the
safety of the world, Justice League Antarctica should be disbanded.
[JLA2 ANNUAL # 4] During a particularly
boring day around the Justice League embassy, Kilowog
was so bored he actually approached G'Nort suggesting the two aliens go
out on the town. Upon learning of this, the Martian Manhunter decided was
needed to chaperone the Justice League's two alien Green Lanterns during a
night on the town. The alien trio was attacked by the temporarily mentally
stable Black Hand while having dinner at Windows on the World in
Manhattan. The Justice Leaguers were arrested for disorderly conduct.
[JLA2 # 51] Soon after being
assigned as the Green Lantern of Earth, Guy
Gardner was frustrated by yet another visit from G'Nort of G'newt.
Gardner ordered G'Nort to leave the Earth, as he was the only Green
Lantern assigned there by the Guardians of the Universe. G'Nort disagreed
with this, insisting the Guardians had told him he could go anywhere he
wanted. To settle the matter, Gardner contacted the Guardians on Oa. The Guardian that
appeared had never seen G'Nort, but unless Gardner could prove otherwise,
G'Nort was a Green Lantern. G'Nort had never seen the Guardians before
either, as his uncle G'newmann had claimed to have given him the ring from
them.
[GL3 # 9] Their first stop would
be to the planet G'newt, to see G'nort's uncle. Shortly after their
arrival, G'newmann warned the Weaponeers of Qward of Guy Gardner's
investigation. Gardner sought help
from Hal Jordan who directed the pair to the Poglachian planet. After a
fight with two Qwardians, Guy and G'Nort met the Poglachian Green Lantern
Corps. A short battle ensued, and through bad luck Guy and G'Nort were
defeated. The two were taken to
Qward to be interrogated. The Qwardians wished to know the location of Hal
Jordan, so they could stop him from rebuilding the Corps. The prisoners
managed to escape, G'Nort caught up to the Thunderer who had taken his
power ring. The two Green Lanterns
battled the Thunderers near the dimensional bridge to the positive matter
universe. Seated nearby was the idol of Sinestro, which supplied the Anti-Oan
power. This was destroyed by G'Nort, at the expense of his own power ring.
Lacking a source of power, the Poglachian Green Lantern Corps were now
ringless.
[GL3 # 12] Guy Gardner had been
impressed by G'nort's heroic actions in Qward. Perhaps against his better
judgment, he nominated G'Nort for membership in the real Green Lantern
Corps. The Guardians laughed at his suggestion, but approved of the idea.
[GL3 # 13] G'Nort was next called
to Oa help the Corps recruit new members, unfortunately he didn't know how
to get there. He arrived a few days later for the meeting. The newest
members of the Corps were brought to the Great Book of Oa to learn of the
legends of the ring wielders.
[GL3 # 20, 24] On his way back to
Earth and the Justice League, G'Nort was caught in the path of a speeding
meteor. Fortunately, he was able to use his ring to propel him to Earth,
where he crash landed in the dumpster outside JL headquarters. There he
found his bowl, flea collar, and Obedience School certificate. Meanwhile, three men
calling themselves the Trio of Greatness planned to apply for League
membership... by showing the JLers how tough they were. Back at the dumpster,
G'Nort overheard a conversation coming from inside the JLHQ. He mistook
the people talking to be Guy and Ice, when it was really a movie that was
saying "He's been nothing but trouble since the day his flea-ridden
hide showed up on our doorstep". Heartbroken over what
seemed to be the rejection of his friends, G'Nort wandered further into
the alley, where he met and befriended a young woman who was trying to
make it big in NYC as a sax player... but was so far living amongst the
trash cans. He nicknamed her Sax Girl and she became his sidekick. It was then that the
yellow-clad Trio of Greatness showed up. With the help of Sax Girl, G'Nort
was able to beat them fairly easily. As Sax Girl said, they made a good
team.
[GLCQ # 1] Some time later, the
Asteroid Angus Finance and Loan Center was under attack by the Black Hole
in the Wall Gang, intergalactic bank robbers. The clerks at the AAFLC
called for the Green Lantern of Sector 2814. Instead, they got G'Nort.
They wanted Hal Jordan because he was the only one to ever confront the
Black Hole in the Wall Gang. So, to make do, G'Nort disguised himself as
Hal (accidentally forgetting to change his ears) and went to battle the
BHWG. G'Nort did quite well
for himself, at least, until the leader brought out a psionic mace. His
concentration lost, G'Nort reverted back to his dog-like form. Which,
fortunately, proved to be in his favor. The Black Hole in the Wall Gang,
you see, were really cats. Fearful of G'nort's "canine might",
the BHWG gave up immediately.
[GLCQ # 2] For some yet unknown
reason, G'Nort separated from Sax Girl. Chasing a plane, G'Nort found
himself in Littleville. Arriving in town, G'Nort discovered a bank robbery
being committed by the Fisherman. He tried to stop the robbery, but failed.
The villains made their getaway. The local law enforcement confronted
G'Nort and tried to arrest him for public interference. G'Nort resisted
and followed the crooks to the Lawless Lair. After a few short
battles, G'Nort was able to defeat the villains. The hostage he rescued,
however, was not very grateful. G'Nort had ruined her vacation. What
G'Nort had
unknowingly interrupted was a vacation resort featuring has-been
supervillains. The villains, including the Fisherman, the Lamplighter,
Strobe, Baron
Tyrano, and the Terrible Trio, "rob" the pseudo-Bank of
Littleville causing excitement for paying tourists. The villains then
would get a cut of the profits. After learning the
truth about Littleville, G'Nort left to check it out with the Justice
League. The current employment status of the villains in Littleville has
yet to be revealed.
[GLCQ # 3] G'Nort
later reunited with Sax Girl in time for his Obedience School 10-year
Reunion. Things quickly became just like old times when "big dog on
campus" G'norman G'nelson locked G'Nort, and G'nort's old friend
Philo Phleeze, in the cafeteria freezer... again. Philo, a certified
"gnerd", finally had enough. He decided to put bullies like
G'norman in their place once and for all, with the "Ultimate Power
Extract". Before Philo drank the potion, however, one of his fleas
was accidentally mixed in with the formula, turning him into a yellow,
flea-covered powerhouse. Phleeze's rampage was
finally ended when G'norman revealed that he, too, was an overweight
"gnerd". G'norman admitted that he had always been jealous of
Philo's chess skills, and they both left the dance as friends.
[GLCQ # 4] In G'nort's final
adventure with Sax Girl, they returned to Cornucopia, Sax Girl's home
town. When they went to Sax Girl's (Rose's) house, however, they
discovered things had changed drastically. Rose's mom acted like a dog, and
her dog Sparky acted human. It was the same all over town. Even TV shows
and stores changed to match the roles of canines and humans. Sparky, realizing that
the natural order must be restored, convinced G'Nort to go after "The
Leader". The Leader, a G'newtian himself, was responsible for the
switch in intelligence levels. Before G'Nort could succeed in destroying
the Leader's Awesome Altergnator, he was converted into a human! Sax Girl,
despite being attracted to G'nort's new human form, convinced G'Nort to
destroy the Awesome Altergnator, but not before parting with a kiss. With things once again
set right, Rose decided to give up her sidekick job and stay where she
belonged--home. Sax Girl and G'Nort again parted with a kiss (albeit this
time on the cheek), and G'Nort flew back to G'newt to place the Leader
into custody.
[GLCQ # 5] Although the future
looked bright for G'Nort, things went downhill in Guy Gardner's life. Guy
had lost a fight with Hal Jordan regarding the responsibilities of Space
Sector 2814, and he was now out of the Green Lantern Corps.
[GL3 # 25] G'Nort trained with
the Green Lantern Corps, returning to Earth with his fellow Green Lanterns
to fight Eclipso.
Guy Gardner had previously been eclipsed, but was released so the God of
Vengeance could go after bigger game.
[GLA # 1] Sometime later, G'Nort
found Guy out west, stranded in the desert. G'Nort had been waiting to be
reassigned by the Guardians and thought Guy could find out which sector he
would get. Guy used the opportunity to trick G'Nort into making a
spaceship for him. With the ability to travel the stars Guy Gardner set in
motion a plan to possess the yellow power ring of Sinestro.
[GGR # 1] Perhaps due to
Kilowog's training, G'nort's abilities seemed to improve slightly after
joining the true Green Lantern Corps. He fought alongside other Green
Lanterns against the personification of Entropy
and The
Triarch on Maltus.
[GL3 # 45] Presumably, G'nort's
power ring was destroyed after Hal Jordan had absorbed the energy of the
Central Power Battery on Oa. He was captured by an interstellar slavery
ring, run by the clone of Guy Gardner. G'Nort was most likely tortured by
Guy's clone for his friendship to the real Guy Gardner, who later freed
the would-be slaves. The current state of G'Nort is unknown, although it
appeared to terrify Salakk
of Slyggia, another one of the imprisoned Green Lanterns.
[GG # 35] On a lighter note, an
animated version of G'Nort appeared in a cartoon series featuring Guy
Gardner, Warrior. G'Nort was recently
captured by Lord Manga Khan, who tried to trade G'Nort for L-Ron. This
attempt was thwarted by The heroes Formerly Known As The Justice League and
The JLA. |