Will Maria Return? (SID 10/13/1998, By Michael Ausiello)

"Everyone is on the edge of their seat awaiting Eva La Rue Callahan?s decision. Even the waitress at this trendy Manhattan eatery is aglow with anticipation, wondering what the olive-complected actress will do. Clearly, this is not a choice that Callahan takes lightly. But as she lifts her head, there appears to be some doubt lingering in those striking, almond-shaped eyes of hers. 'It?s either the turkey wrap or the chicken sandwich; I don?t know,' she says before settling on the wrap. Her lunch selection is notwithstanding, Callahan is facing a great deal of scrutiny of late when it comes to her decision-making? specifically her decision whether or not to return to AMC. Now, more than a year since her untimely on-screen demise, speculation? anticipation surrounding Maria?s possible resurrection? is reaching a fever pitch. She doesn?t get it, though. 'I never considered myself that big of a loss when I left,' says the Daytime Emmy Award nominee. 'And then suddenly I got more publicity after I was gone than when I was on the show. It?s really surprising.'

Indeed, the ghost of Maria may loom larger in the hearts and minds of AMC fans than the living, breathing ever did. Maybe it?s a case of viewers not knowing what they had until she was gone. When Maria fell over that cliff last August, AMC lost more than a popular heroine, it lost its moral compass. Callahan exposed Maria?s soul? and won over millions of viewers in the process.

But, of course, real death and soap death are two completely different things. Maria?s body never was found, leaving the door wide open for her to return. In fact, last spring, Callahan did reprise her role for a few episodes when Maria appeared to Edmund in a dream. But fans have made no secret of the fact that they want back the real Maria? you know, the one with a pulse. But is her portrayer ready?

In her first full-length interview since leaving, Callahan discusses where she stands on that very issue, as well as how she?s changed, personally and professionally, in the last 12 months.

There?s No Place Like Home? 
If actions speak louder than words, then Callahan?s AMC return would appear imminent. First, after spending the better part of last years in Los Angeles, the actress has, for the time being, returned to New York. In addition, she and husband John Callahan (who plays AMC?s Edmund, Maria?s one true love), recently bought a house situated just a hop, skip and a jump away from the AMC studios. And finally? what may be the most revealing clue of all? after a year of mourning, widower Edmund is finally moving on with his life: The show has cast Paige Rowland as Kit, his mysterious new love interest. In soap speak, that means that Maria likely is making her way down the stairway from heaven to give the budding new couple hell. 

But appearances can be deceiving. As Callahan stirs her lemonade, she explains the situation to Soaps In Depth. 'I?m not ready,' she says simply. 'I love the show, and I?m definitely thinking about eventually going back, but not anytime in the near future. I?m just going to wait and see how things go.'

Those things that Callahan refers to are very goals that she set for herself when she left AMC last summer? specifically to branch out as an actress. Some may say that she?s been there and done that by now. Her post-AMC career has included a sitcom (last season?s short-lived Head Over Heels), two movies, a handful of guest appearances and even a stint hosting the Miss America pageant. But that itch that led Callahan to walk away from AMC? Well, it isn?t quite scratched, she admits. 'It?s funny, because without AMC, I never in a trillion years would have had the opportunities that I?ve had. It was just an amazing experience. Yet, I really feel like before I have kids and settle into one spot or another, I just really want to play some other stuff. I loved AMC, and I loved the people there and the family there, and I miss then desperately. But I really feel like I owe it to myself to go out and do some other stuff. And even though the sitcom was missing the com part, it was something that I needed to do. I just needed to get away from the crying all of the time on the soap. On the one hand, (the heavy drama of AMC) was great because they wrote really well for me. But on the other hand, it was emotionally exhausting.' 

The actress admits that not everyone understands her reasons for taking a break from the soap. ?I know it doesn?t make sense to a lot of people, ? she continues. ?They?re like, ?Why doesn?t she just go back to where she was doing well.? But, whether it makes sense to other people or not, it makes sense to me, and it makes sense to John. I really need to just take two years and do other stuff.? 

They Still Keep Knockin?
Unlike most actresses, Callahan can spread her wings without running the risk of severing her ties to AMC. The show has made no bones of the fact that the actress is welcome back anytime. 'I would love to have Eva back,' says head writer Megan McTavish. 'But she has got to do what she has got to do. She left for very good reasons, she is doing well elsewhere, and she may never come back. All we can say for now if that the door is open, but it has to be her decision.'

Callahan says that during her most recent conversation with AMC?s brass, she did discuss her timetable for returning. 'I said, ?If I were to come back, it wouldn?t be before next summer,' she recalls, adding that the show still keeps in touch. 'They sort of call and check in on me every three or four months just to see if I?m interested.'

In the meantime, Callahan seems determined to preserve her very amicable relationship with the show, and the network. In fact, it?s her loyalty to ABC that has led her to turn down offers from competing soap SUNSET BEACH. 'AMC has been so good to me,' she marvels. 'If I was going to do another soap, I?m going back to the place that I really love.'

But Callahan fans shouldn?t fret. The actress? hard work this past year will soon begin to pop up on television screens and in theatres near you. Also, another short-term AMC return is possible, she says, especially if it?s to add some spice to a blossoming romance between Edmund and Kit. ?Triangles are the best,? she says. 'When John and I were working with Julia Barr (Brooke), that was just the most fun.'

The Change In Me Is You
As much as Callahan is enjoying her status as a free agent, there are drawbacks, she conceded. For starters, the politics of Hollywood have changed since she last pounded the pavement. 'It?s a harder business now than it ever was? certainly before I moved to New York,' she sighs. 'There seem to be so many actors who normally wouldn?t be auditioning for the kind of roles that I?m auditioning for. I find myself sitting in a roomful of really big actors thinking, "Oh My God!" These are the kind of roles that, before, they would be starring in it, and we would be auditioning for guest roles. But now they?re auditioning for the guest star!'

'It?s so hard not to get discouraged,' she continues. 'It?s so discouraging and so frustrating. But when you get the opportunity to so something else, it?s just really fun. So right now it?s just a bit of an adjustment period to go back to that, because I did that for eight years before AMC, and suddenly it?s jarring to go back to it.'

Luckily, Callahan hasn?t been alone though this transition. Her husband, John, has been at her side the entire time. And if the hard knocks of Tinsel Town have done anything, they?ve reinforced in her the things that matter most. 'I really learned a lot about what?s important in the last year,' she says. 'I have an amazing marriage, and I never had that kind of relationship in my life before. Nothing else in the whole world means as much to me as that. Anything that would jeopardize that is not important. So to do something that would take me away from him and away from us for that long, if it wasn?t a great project, it?s just not worth it to me anymore. I did that [with Head Over Heels] last year, and it proved to me that it is so not worth it.'

A Glimmer Of Hope?
Looking back, Callahan realizes that she had a great thing at AMC. But, still, she has not regrets about leaving when she did. 'I started to find, toward the end, that I was getting emotionally tired from the storyline, and we were working so much that I didn?t have any life. I just worked and went home, worked and went home. And I felt myself starting to get lazy. I needed to infuse my life with some different characters and different situations. And the situations have been good and bad? bad because it?s just been so frustrating and anxiety producing, but good because I?ve learned a lot from that. It certainly makes you appreciate what you had, not that I didn?t appreciate it while I had it, because I did.'

That?s what made it so hard for Callahan to quit in the first place. 'Leaving AMC was one of the hardest things that I ever did,' she says. 'You can ask John: I cried for months before I left AMC. It was so heartbreaking to me to leave there because I really, really, loved it.'

'But,' she adds, 'I knew for myself, I needed to get another kick-start, I needed to jump-start myself creatively again, which is why I never ruled out going back. So it?s not really a matter of hitting it big, or thinking that I might do features. It?s just a matter of myself as an actress and feeding that part of me.'

And as Callahan takes the last bite of her turkey wrap, she is finished feeding that other part of her, too. The waitress returns to clear away the plates, when Callahan suddenly is unexpectedly forced to make another major decision. Inquires the waitress: 'Would you like dessert?'

This time, Callahan?s previous indecisiveness has given way to a newfound resolve. She replies without a moment?s hesitation: 'None for me, thanks.'"