Web hosting Custom Email SiteBuilder

Paul laughed when he led Trynia down the hallways after Nicholas. The teenage boy was grinning ear to ear with some secret, and they heard It's Raining Men blasting through the entire house. That was a song Trynia hadn't heard in years. Passing by the game room, they heard the thump of a cue against the clack of pool balls. Melissa and Eric were hard at work at a game in progress.

"Hey Eric, don't stick it to her!" Paul called out.

"Paul, where the hell were ya?" Eric called back, waving at him. "Nice to see you came here finally!"

"What is this, seventies night?" Paul joked.

"It was the kid's idea!" Eric pointed to Nicholas.

"Cmon," Nicholas waved with his head, and bade them follow him toward Gene's studio.

Further along, where the entertainment room was, they saw two people laying across a sofa, their faces merged. Bruce glanced up in mid kiss to see Paul walk his lady toward the source of the noise.

"Hey, don't let me interrupt you," Paul laughed. "Carry on!"

"Looking good," Desiree called to Trynia, giving a thumbs up from under Bruce. Glancing down at her with desire dark eyes, he fingered the hair from her face and resumed his kiss.

"Man everyone's getting into it," Trynia laughed. Paul enjoyed the lingo and mannerisms she was absorbing from him and the other guys, and smiled in response.

"And it's not even midnight baby," Paul chuckled. When they reached Gene's studio, Paul burst out laughing at the scene inside. A blinding spot of a strobe hit him in the eyes for a moment as someone beamed it directly into the face.

"Spotlight on Paul!" Ace joked.

"Put that damn light out before you blind someone!" Peter yelled at him. "Damn, we can't take you ANYWHERE!"

"Oh my word!" Trynia gasped, taking in the dancing figures playfully cutting across the floor. Nicholas joined Monique, who was already getting down with Jenilee, and Ace, who wandered over from the spotlight. Gene sat near a table that he had set up, with his portable tabletop stereo, and even a few turntables with quad speakers.

"Holy crap Gene, where did you get that antique from?" Paul joked.

"I never throw anything away," Gene glanced up at him. "This was one of my old stereos down in the basement... in case someone actually wants to hear my collection of 45's..."

"I thought you hated Disco," Trynia joked to Ace.

"I do, but my daughter's dancing, I gotta join in," he joked.

Bruce and Desiree joined them their hair mussed, followed by Eric and Melissa.

Now a hit from Animal House blared over the speakers, and they all sat around listening to it while Ace showed the moves to his daughter. Trynia joined in, and even Terri did, both reenacting their college party days.

"Here's an old one... but a damn good one, straight from the days of Ed Sullivan," Gene announced. Suddenly the guitar chords for Twist and Shout blared on, and Trynia realized it was an LP.

"C'mon I'll show you the twist," Paul joked. He walked her out onto the floor, and began to move easily, gyrating his hips. She mimicked him, and added variations of her own.

"Gene, why don't you show me a thing or two..." Terri asked him.

"Uh uh, I'm the deejay doll, I'm no dancer!" Gene shook a finger at her.
"Spoilsport!" Terri snorted, and Gene gently grabbed her blouse and pulled her over to press a kiss to her lips.

Along one wall there was another table, piled high with snack and fresh food items. Everything from chips and salsa to mozzarella sticks and super hot wings, and even sandwiches. "Did Gene raid Seven 11 again?" Paul called to Peter, who was putting together a plate of refreshments as an excuse not to dance to "the Electric Slide."

"Just about, damn. I'll have to say he's got a good nose for the food. Actually he told the caterers to bring the food they were gonna bring to the nightclub here..."

"What about the other members of the crew and such that were going to join us there?" Trynia asked.

"They're coming and going all over the house," Peter said. So saying Trynia noticed Chris and his wife walk in together, glancing around the dancing room.

"Hey!" Paul called to him. "How are you doing?"

"Great Paul," he nodded with a smile. "Some party huh?"

"Yeah!" Paul nodded.

"Hi Trynia, you keeping my boss out of trouble?" Chris joked.

"I'm doing my best..." she laughed.

"Want some champagne?" Peter asked, holding up a bottle that Eric had handed him, from the buffet.

"Isn't it early for that?" Paul asked. Peter grabbed a glass from the table, turned it rightside up and poured Paul and Trynia each a portion.

"Drink up, lovebirds. We'll get the real stuff out at midnight!" Peter laughed. Gigi moved over, and he grabbed his wife and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Peter, stop playing bartender and dance with me damn it!" she laughed.

"Aww man the things a married guy's gotta do!" Peter joked, and let his wife drag him out onto the dance floor.

Monique grabbed one of her dad's wrists and glanced at his watch. "Hey, it's eleven forty five!"

"So?" Ace asked.

"Well?"

"Oh crap!" Ace gasped when he remembered it was New Year's eve. "Gene! Gene!"

"What?" Gene asked, over the din of "I was Made for Loving You..."

"They're getting close to it man!"

Gene leapt up and hit the remote for the television to one side of the speaker system. Suddenly the smaller of his HDTV's flashed on to Dick Clarke's Rockin New Year's Eve. They watched Aerosmith performing Walk this Way to within 4 minutes of the ball drop in NYC.

"My brother's probably right in the middle of that," Trynia giggled as Paul caught hold of her and sat down on one of the chairs in Gene's sitting room. They had wandered out of the improvised dance hall and into the main entertainment room. He pulled her into his lap with a grunt of satisfaction and settled down to watch the rest of the countdown.

Bruce and Desiree wandered in, followed by Peter and his wife Gigi. "Decided to come in outta the noise Paulie?" Peter joked.

"Mmm yeah," Paul nodded. Gene glanced at the screen, coming into the room hand and hand with Terri. She sat down, and Gene placed her legs across his lap. Eyes all fixed on the screen as he rubbed her tired feet.

"They're switching to NYC feed," Peter said, glancing up at the huge HDTV.

"All right..."

"Get ready," Ace whispered, and nudged Nicholas out with him toward the French doors that led to the swimming pool. Trynia caught a glimpse of them out of the corner of her eye. They slipped out, Ace urging Monique along as he carried something in his other hand.

"What are they?" she wondered before Paul's face eclipsed her view and his mouth gently covered hers for a moment.

"Wait for new years, Mr. Speed!" Peter joked, throwing a piece of popcorn at the embracing couple.

Paul shot him a glare and laughed, "Screw you Peter!"

"Hey, didn't I tell you before that's not your job! It' goes to the little lady right next to me!"

"Shhh, they're starting!" Eric held up his finger.

"Three... two one..." everyone counted out.

Bruce reached for something down by the side of the couch. When One was shouted, he twisted the cork and an audible POP exploded the cork into Gene's living room ceiling.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone screamed. Suddenly the explosions popped and fizzled from outside and they saw bangs and flashes at the fireworks that Ace had smuggled in.

"Son of a bitch!" Gene groaned. "I'm gonna murder him!"

"Oh lighten up! Shut up and kiss me," Terri nudged him angrily. Before he could protest she slipped into his lap and captured his mouth with hers.

Slipping his hand up her thigh, Paul pressed Trynia's lips in a soft kiss. It blossomed into a firm one, his hand creeping steadily up under her skirt. Eric passed champagne glasses all around, taking them from Bruce who was filling glass after glass from the streaming foam of the erupting bottle. Paul reached around, still in mid kiss to accept the glass pushed into his hand.

Jenilee and Monique rushed around the house banging pots and blowing party horns. They screamed their jubilation before running out to the pool where Ace was lighting bottle rockets. One after the other they streaked up over the estate to explode in golden sparklers. Eric threw Gene a Fresca, and he popped it open.

"Hey, a toast to New Year's!" Eric shouted. Paul pulled out of his kiss and smiled at Trynia, who was trying to steady her racing heart.

"Oh god I feel lightheaded," she laughed. Paul handed her his glass and took a new one from Eric.

"To a damn good New YEARS!" Eric yelled over the din of the TV and Ace's fireworks, not to mention Jenilee and Monique's party horns.

"I'll drink to that!" Gene said, clinking his Fresca can against Paul's glass, and taking a swig.

Trynia clinked glasses with a half dozen others, and sipped a good swig. Paul tipped back half his glass and leaned forward to kiss her again. Under her, he was deliciously firm as usual.

Events earlier made her wince, and she slowly rose. Paul tried to stop her saying, "Where do you think you're going, sweetie?"

"Uh I wanted to ask Terri if I could see those baby clothes after I find the bathroom..."

"It's just down the hall," Paul teased. "I could have told you that..."

"Please Paul... I hope you don't mind... she might forget to tell me about them..."

"Okay, but you hurry your pretty backside back here. I can't wait all night..."

"Terri, can I see some of those baby clothes you were telling me about?" Trynia asked her. She looked up and said, "That's a funny time... but sure..."

"I also wanted to ask you something very personal... tat I feel a little bit uncomfortable discussing in mixed company..."

"Sure... let's go," Terri said.

Gene joked, "She just wants to see the mirrors on our ceiling!"

"Actually I want to see your collection!" Trynia joked back. Paul groaned when Gene busted out laughing

Terri led the way upstairs through the house where other road crew and their significant others were partying and drinking champagne. Trynia gasped when she saw the large master bedroom she had only glimpsed in pictures.

"Good grief that bed is HUGE!" Trynia gasped.

"Everyone says that," Terri laughed. "But once you get used to it, it's hard to sleep in any others..."

"I think it's really great that you are making Gene a dad again."

Terri nodded, and took her over to where a crib had been set up with brightly colored sheets and a mobile already hanging over it. "Yes, we're very happy, even though it definitely wasn't in the master plan."

Trynia shook her head, "Really? What happened to change your mind?"

Laughing, Terri admitted, "Well, let's just say, I got careless and he got careless and here we are."

"Gene getting careless?" Trynia shook her head. "I thought he was always prepared!"

"Oh he was prepared all right. He was preparing himself to have some condom-less sex." Terri threw her hand and rolled her eyes.

"But did you have birth control?" Trynia asked, gripping the side of the crib to glance at the bumpers that were tied there. "I mean didn't you take the pill?"

"I went off it because of the side effects. I switched to a diaphragm. I guess at the time, I didn't think it through. By the time I got a chance to ponder the matter, it was too late. I was scared to death to tell him."

"Ohh... and how did you find out?" Trynia asked. "Paul said you were in a car accident!"

"I realized what had happened after we had already had sex."

"Oh my god!" Trynia gasped.

"And by then, it's too late," Terri sighed, positioning a stuffed teddy bear into the crib from one side.

At least he didn't' insist you "get rid of it," Trynia muttered.

"No way, not Gene..." Terri said slowly. "He was right there, saying he'd do anything to help take care of our baby. Our baby, not just mine or his..."

Perhaps Terri should know at least, Trynia decided. Maybe by discussing the secret with Terri, Trynia might think of a way to tell Paul. Nudging Terri she said, "Oh... Terri I have to tell you..."

Yes?" Terri asked, glancing up from the pile of outfits she lay on the bed to show the other woman.

"It'... it's My birth control pills," Trynia breathed, steadying her racing heart. Despite her best attempts to control the stream of words, they erupted from her lips all at once. "I accidentally dumped them down the sink...I was so stupid! I brought extra but I CAN'T find them!"

"Whoa, wait, slow down!" Terri held up a hand. "You say you lost your birth control pills?"

"Yes..."

"Well don't panic. Well, I'll give you the name of my pharmacist and he can call tomorrow and get a copy of your prescription. But let me guess. That's 24 hours too late."

Trynia nodded in frustration, "Yes! I'm such a Space Ace that I make Ace look like he's in this reality!"

"If I know Paul, he knows no such thing as a night without intercourse," Terri said practically. "So avoiding sex is out of the question..."

"I should say so!" Trynia groaned. "I want him..."

Rolling her eyes, Terri pursed her lips, "He's like Gene in that regard, God love 'em."

"It's not an option," Trynia sighed.

"Well, he can always use a condom. Does he have any of those around?" Teri asked.

Trynia flushed, and traced the floor with her toe as she mumbled, "Um... well I don't know..."

"Surely he must, because When he and I," Terri began, but broke off when she realized she was navigating into uncomfortable territory. "Umm...ooops.... Sorry."

"I don't know, since I was on birth control he doesn't use them..."

Terri rubbed her chin, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind stopping and getting some, if he needs to. He DOES know about this, doesn't he?"

Trynia glanced down at her feet and hid her gaze from Terri's as she admitted, "Uh, I didn't exactly tell him yet."

"What? Why not?" Terri asked her.

"I couldn't find a good time to... and I know he's wanting a great time tonight considering it is New Years and all..."

"Hmm. But then again, Paul's a private person. Not too sure how he'd feel about a pimply-faced pharmacy cashier getting on the net and talking about how he sold the Starchilid some rubbers."

For a moment they laughed at the mental image this evoked, and Trynia eased a bit when she asked, "Well I guess maybe Gene has some?"

AT this remark Terri laughed, "Oh, absolutely. You know Gene. Tour or no tour, that man could open his own factory."

"Do you think he'd mind if I appropriated a few?"

"Actually, Trynia, he'd laugh his ass off if he knew the whole story," Terri chuckled. "He might even insist on giving you KISS Kondoms..."

"Oh god if you tell him I'll kill you both!" Trynia moaned, hiding her face in her hand. "And before you even suggest it, NO I'm not getting the ones with the damn band logo on them! And no glow in the dark either! I don't need Paul to know what he's getting into!"

Terri struggled to keep herself composed as she walked over to Gene's dresser drawer and pulled it open. Trynia was not surprised to see the multiple boxes neatly lined up inside, of many different brands and designs. "Help yourself. There are dozens of types... hmm, here are some Italian ones... but Gene would throw a fit if I gave those away... and mmm Lifestyles... Trojans, Cherry flavored..."

"Oh god this is weird," Trynia half laughed. "I feel so stupid. If I have to tell Paul I had to get condoms from Gene..."

"Well, you know if you're afraid to tell Paul, tell Gene. He'd delight in ribbing Paul about how he won't be walking in the rain without a coat tonight."

"Oh no."

"Just kidding, girlfriend. I won't tell a soul." Terri assured her.

Trynia took a few from several boxes and stuck them into the pocket of her blouse, saying, "Well perhaps if I tell Gene he'll just blab it to Paul... and then well what's the use in having satellites."

"If you're serious, you know he would," Terri warned her. "The only problem is, will Paul resent that it didn't come from you?"

"I suppose," Trynia sighed. "What a pain in the neck this is. You and Gene tell each other everything right?"

"Well yes. If it was the reverse, if Paul told Gene he needed to wear a condom, he'd laugh his rear off. But I think if Gene told Paul, he'd be hurt."

"I don't want that to happen..."

"Think about it, Tryn," Terri said, sitting down on the bed. "Gene told me after their conversation last night that Paul has basically declared your sex life a HANDS OFF topic of discussion. He's never done that before with Gene. Usually those boys tell all."

"I'm not surprised," Trynia sighed. "That's what Gene said to me one time."

"Gene also told me he thinks Paul is jealous as hell of what transpired that night in your car."

Trynia flinched and gasped, "What?"

"And that he's afraid that Paul thinks that something might happen again," Terri said slowly. "Now this is coming from Gene, so who knows, but he knows Paul better than almost anyone else."

"Excuse me? Jealous in what way?"

"He's used to Paul's insecurity," Terri said.

"What? That I'd have a twosome with some strangers?"

"You have to understand a bit of where Paul is coming from. He's had many women he's loved stolen from him by other guys. It's happened actually a number of times. You wouldn't think it would, but it has."

"He said the same thing to me," Trynia said, sitting down next to Terri on the edge of Gene's bed. She pushed the drawer shut. "Go figure! He was afraid I'd leave him for GENE!"

"Yeah, that makes sense. When Donna started seeing Dan, it really tore him up inside. Same with Linda. Everything was great in the beginning, from what Gene said. You'd never seen two people more in love...."

"That sounds all to familiar," Trynia shook her head.

Terri continued her recollection, "Then she lost the baby, and they were devastated. Paul withdrew a bit into his work, and Linda sort of leaned heavily on the emotional support of her sisters. You could kind of see problems starting."

Quietly Trynia listened, muttering, "I had no idea... he told me nothing of this... But why would he?"

"Gene says, things carried on like this for a few years, and the next thing he knew, Paul came to him, all excited, saying Linda was pregnant again, and THIS time it was forever for them."

"Oh god," Trynia whispered, her throat choking. Tears burned her eyes, blurring her vision.

"When Aaron was born, the two of them were so happy. Looking back, Gene says, it was a different kind of happy though. Linda longed to stay home and start a family. Paul wanted a family as much as she did, but the pull of the band and the reunion was becoming too strong to ignore."

"Oh man..." Trynia groaned, wiping her eyes.

"Paul pictured a life where Linda and the baby would travel with him, one happy family."

"That is what I would have thought that a true KISS fan would have loved. But then again, who said that Linda was a big member of the KISS army?" Trynia sniffed. Terri reached for the box of tissues Gene kept on his side of the bed, and passed a few to Trynia.

"That's not what she wanted. She was starting to hate Hollywood and the life of a rockstar's wife. She started staying home more and more, and Paul started to consider dalliances with other women on the road."

"I actually like traveling with Paul."

"For a while, he lived with Gene in the guest house. He told the media all kinds of stories covering up for her absence on the road."

"That totally sucks," Trynia snapped, wiping her eyes with the tissues as she pulled her glasses off."They tried to make a go of it. Paul tried to make sure she got small acting parts whenever possible, but that didn't make the marriage any easier."

"It sounds like it was hell for Paul..."

"Indeed," Terri nodded. "By the end, they would barely speak, unless it was about Aaron. She didn't go to Toronto with him. Rumors are, she found someone else to warm her bed, and Gene won't say, but I'm SURE that Paul found various others as well. By the time it was over, there was no affection at all."

"I'm sorry..." Trynia apologized, chin wobbling with emotion as she felt the tears creep down her cheeks."

"Hey don't be. Look Tryn, when Paul talks about not wanting to make mistakes with you, this is where it's coming from."

"Yes... thank you for telling me..." Trynia whispered, fighting at the tears. Finally she composed herself and changed the subject a bit, "I noticed Linda had an engagement ring on when I saw her dropping Aaron off. It had three sapphires and diamonds... I don't think that was the one Paul gave her was it?"

"Hmm that's definitely not the one that Paul got her..." Terri mused. "Which reminds me, do you know, he carried the engagement ring around for weeks before he finally got the nerve to give it to her?"

"Well its interesting... because that means someone else is wanting to marry her..." Trynia said.

"He really went through a lot, trying to decide what to do about Linda," Terri sighed. "He went with his heart and proposed because she was carrying his child. You know the funny thing? He doesn't say anything to Gene about her and her new life."

"Perhaps it's just as well..." Trynia sighed, clenching the tissues for some strange support.

"Actually," Terri said, leaning close. "He talks about YOU."

"Oh my word!" Terri flushed, gasping.

"I think in a way, Trynia, you may be his second chance at happiness."

At the sound of Terri's words Trynia's heart began to race in her chest, the pulse pounding in her neck. Voice deserting her she croaked, "Oh god I could hardly dare hope!"

"You may be the woman who doesn't turn away from him," Terri continued.

"And he knows that, but I think he's afraid to take a chance."

"I can't say I blame him," Trynia shook her head, putting her glasses back on. "And the thing is, that I have one more year of grad school. Oh damn it! why does life have to be so damn complicated..."

Supportively Terri's hand gripped Trynia's and gave it a squeeze as she nodded, "I'm sure he's been thinking of that too. Obviously part of the problem with Linda was that she wasn't wanting to be with him all the time."

"What a pain."

"And Paul's a high-maintenance lover, if you don't mind me saying." Terri whispered with a wink. Trynia laughed and blushed again.

"I have told my parents about him, but nothing about the fact he's a rock star. I told them he was a musician... and that he was older then me...and that he already had a son..."

"Well what do they think of your man?"

"They are concerned about the age difference... even though I wasn't' clear to them how much it was, but they say he sounds like a good man..."

"I sort of went through that myself," Terri rolled her eyes. "My parents still are not absolutely thrilled with the idea of me carrying Gene Simmon's baby."

Trynia suddenly burst out laughing at the mental image, "Oh god your parents... imagine bringing Gene Simmons home..."

"Especially with all the "perfectly fine gentlemen you met at college" out there." Terri continued.

"Now THAT sounds familiar!" Trynia laughed. "Well my parents wanted me to find a nice catholic boy. Then again the fact he's Jewish doesn't bother them all that much."

"But Gene has been there for me, and they know that he has certainly taken care of me comfortably."

"Oh Yeah! I mean you have anything you could ever want!!! He spoils you ROTTEN!"

"Well he's insistent..."

"Doesn't it drive you NUTS?" Trynia asked. "Guess what Paul got me for Christmas? A CAR!!! Damn how could I top that?"

"What kind of car?" Terri asked with a knowing grin.

"a MERCEDES!!!"

"Well that's definitely a Paul gift!" Terri burst out laughing. "But how are they on the religion thing?"

"I have cousins who are married to Jews... so it's not a foreign concept..."

"That's good," Terri nodded. "Mom, one time in an argument, told me it did NOT make her happy to know that her baby daughter was f***cking the devil."

"Oh god..." Trynia groaned, shaking her head. "Your mom sounds like a piece of work!"

"And did I realize I could go to hell?"

"Oh I heard THAT before!" Trynia rolled her eyes this time.

"I told her if the Devil was good enough in bed, hell might not be so bad," Terri chuckled.

"Good answer," Trynia smirked. "But Gene isn't the Devil! He's just a guy in facepaint and platform shoes! Sheesh!"

"I know that. And she knows that."

"My mom was like "Well he's Jewish? Does he know you have to raise the kids Catholic? And I was like Mom he knows... but I think it's not that clear cut!"

"My mom's met Gene before. She had to begrudgingly admit to me later that he's "not so bad"."

"Well during the accident, Paul told me about it... that you and she hashed it out?" Trynia pointed out.

"Yes... that's about it..."

"My mom is more worried about me with a non Catholic then with a rock star I think," Trynia admitted. "But then again, if she knew about our sexual relationship, she'd flip her lid. I think she's learned by now how hard-headed I am, and how I'm going to make my own decisions."

"You and Gene are PERFECT for one another then! Good for you," Trynia congratulated her. "I have kept my sexual life secret because of protecting Paul."

"True," Terri nodded. "My mom finally said, 'At least he's financially secure.' "

"Yeah, ya think?" Trynia needled.

"And he's college=educated" Terri added.

"Touché! He was a TEACHER for crying out loud!!! Paul... he wanted to be an Anthropologist!"

"Yeah, that's Paul all right," Terri nodded.

"What did your mom think of your home?" Trynia asked. "Considering you helped Gene pick the new furniture after it was remodeled?"

"She likes it, I suppose. She still isn't thrilled with how he earns his living, but Gene, out of the Demon mode, can be quite charming." Terri smirked this time. "It's not easy to go from nothing to HERE.

"Well how about me? I was living in a rented apartment on fastmac and stir fry and now I'm eating tiramasou!" Trynia laughed. Then she fell silent and admitted, "What I dread is meeting Paul's parents."

"Umm...his mom is kind of a challenge," Terri nodded. "His dad is a sweetheart too. He reminds me a lot of Paul. He always stops and talks whenever he comes to a show. He calls me "Sweetie". Can you imagine?"

"Well Linda warned me about Mrs. Eisen," Trynia told her. "That's a lot of hard work there. As for Paul's mom, I'm not too sure she's liked any of Paul's women yet, according to Gene."

"Well then if she doesn't like me that's normal," Trynia joked. "I mean hey I'm not Jewish, but which of them was?"

"Very few," Terri chuckled. "You know, Tryn, I think Mrs. Eisen just might like you. You're nice to Paul. Good to Aaron. Not someone looking to take his money."

"I don't want his money. It's nice, but it gets really... hard to accept his gifts all the time," Trynia shook her head.

"That's not to say that you won't have to earn her trust, but if you are there for Paul, she'll be in your corner."

"Wow. I do love Aaron very much..." Trynia said. "Linda isn't so bad once you get used to her... but she's an acquired taste. I'm glad you and Shannon Tweed get along so well!"

"Shannon is a riot. At first, I really didn't know what to expect when I met her, but after talking to her, and hearing Gene talk about her, I realized she had a lot of qualities I would need to emulate if I hoped to make a go of it with Gene."

"Well you are beautiful," Trynia assured her. "Look at you! 7 months pregnant and you're still a lovely woman!"

"Thank you. I'm no Shannon, though. She's absolutely gorgeous...a Playboy playmate. I had my share of insecurities when I first started seeing Gene."

"Well you're my size right?" Trynia asked. "18?"

"Actually I'm a 20. But you know what? There's always someone more gorgeous, which are the rules of the game. I keep Gene intellectually interested too."

"Oh yes. It blows me away how smart Gene and Paul are! You're really well toned though, for someone my size, and you have gene's... ahem... ATTITUDE!"

"As WELL as interested in the bedroom.," Terri added with a knowing wink.

"Oh god how do you do it?" Trynia asked.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. Gene has taught me a lot, in and out of the bedroom."

"With Paul... he's taught me so many things... it's... well... it's not like I haven't' have sex... but I'm very.. limited in my experience. I don't make a habit of sleeping with 2 men at once."

"I didn't think so."

"I was so afraid that first morning I'd wakeup and it would be a dream. Then waking up next to Paul... and having him wanting to make love to me...

"Don't let Paul kid you and give you the guilt trip too much, girlfriend. He was over the moon that next day after he met you," Terri scolded her.

"I just couldn't help but think what he'd see in me... compared to who he could have had..."

"He couldn't quit talking about the girl from Pittsburgh with the broken down car."

"Oh jeez really? What did he say?" Trynia asked. "I looked TERRIBLE... not my best... with that cheesy Starchild makeup!"

"And of course, the other guys were needling him about taking advantage of a groupie with a shitty car. He just laughed."

"Yeah my shitty FORD! And my KISS t-shirt, and my jeans, and my lack of SHOES! I was such a damn GROUPIE!"

"The funny thing was, he didn't tell anyone it was you AND Gene. The only way I knew was that Gene told me." Terri admitted.

"No way! Oh my god you're serious?" Trynia gasped, eyes widening in surprise. "I thought... Gene would have told everyone!

"He was protecting your dignity even back then. Paul's pretty private, you know."

"Aw," Trynia groaned. "I feel like I want to cry! How did he keep Gene from blabbing it?"

"Well, I have friends on the crew and they told me that from what they heard, Paul picked up a fan with a broken down car and brought her back to the hotel."

"So, is that why Gene treated me like a stranger the next day?" Trynia asked, making sense of Gene's behavior finally. "I figured he would cause I was just another groupie to him, and that was fine with me. But it was as if he was going out of his way to act like he'd never met me on the bus the next day... Especially in front of Ace and Peter!"

"Oh, believe me, Gene was ready to, but when he saw Paul's happiness the next day and heard what he told the guys, he was quiet. We had a good laugh about it too. After Gene told me, he did the Paul Harvey bit --- "Now you know the REST of the story".

"Well Paul couldn't keep his hands off me in that bus!" Trynia giggled.

"Everyone knew you as Paul's girl by then," Terri nodded.

"Lady Starchild, Eh?" Trynia said. "I got the distinct impression that I would soon be out in three days..."

"Gene did some grumbling about "Why doesn't she go home now?" that next day, you know."

"I was ready to go home, but Paul insisted I stay," Trynia interrupted.

"You were supposed to LEAVE, according to him. He was pissed that you didn't," Terri continued.

"I couldn't say no to Paul..." Trynia flushed again. "I was worried Gene was resentful I was around, but then Ace had Andora with him, who was another groupie, Gene probably couldn't complain too loudly without Ace telling him to shut up."

"Well, you have to figure where Gene is coming from. They had a conversation about that, you know. Gene told him it was too soon after Linda." Terri explained. "And that he did not feel like touring with Paul if he was going to be "distracted". Girlfriends are a "distraction" to Gene."

"Yeah. I was ready to leave," Trynia nodded. "I knew the score, and I was ready to leave, because I knew that it's the way the guys are in KISS."

"I have to admit, I got tired of hearing him complain about you, so I sat him down one night and reminded him how I was a girlfriend on the road too, not so different from you."

"Thank you," Trynia said.

"And that HE enjoyed having ME around, so why was Paul so different?"

"Gene bitches and moans a lot doesn't he?" Trynia chuckled. "And didn't' you work as a pyrotechnician also?"

"He does, but that's his way of thinking things through. You have to realize what people say about him is true. Kiss is a 24/7 job for him."

"Well he is the brains of this whole thing... but Paul... he's the heart..." Trynia pointed out.

"Yes, he is. Gene feels very protective of Paul, in a weird and warped way." Terri agreed.

"Ace...he's the humor... and Peter... well Peter bitches a lot and parties..."

"He's seen him hurt a lot. He saw him dole out millions to Linda." Terri said. " And before he knows it, you come along, and suddenly Paul is in love again...."

"Good heavens! You know when He wanted to give me this locket... I refused it." Trynia admitted.

"Really? You have WILLPOWER!" Terri gasped.

"And when he gave me his own credit card to buy clothes I was STUNNED! I didn't want his money and I didn't want to be some 'kept' woman!" Trynia shook her head.

"I think that's when Gene decided to relent a bit. He saw that you weren't out to use Paul."

"I let him buy my clothes the first time because I had none," Trynia explained. "But when he insisted I come to California that FLOORED me. The very idea of having me stay in his own HOME for crying out loud!"

"Tryn, Paul would KILL me for telling you this, but," Terri said, leaning a hand on her shoulder. "There was a night during the tour, he came to our room late. He had been drinking a bit, beer I think, which is unusual for Paul."

"Beer?" Trynia asked, lowering her eyebrows in confusion. "Why would he drink beer? Normally he drinks wine..."

"He wanted to talk to Gene..." Terri continued. "He'd been at the bar, drinking the cheap stuff."

"Ohh man just to get plastered," Trynia realized.

"Well, something was obviously bothering him..." Terri said with a sigh. "Gene was in the shower, but he wanted to wait. I tried to joke with him, but he would have none of it. Gene comes out and they go into the other room. Paul shuts the door, but I have to admit, the suite wasn't THAT big that I couldn't hear the bulk of the conversation."

"Oh boy," Trynia shook her head, not liking where this was going.

"Apparently, he was with a fan after the show. And I mean WITH a fan."

"I knew it," Trynia sighed, throwing up her hands. "I'm not surprised at all."

"Apparently, it was something quick and impulsive after the show." Terri clarified quickly, seeing the serious and sober look creep over Trynia's face.

"Who was she?" Trynia asked.

"She was a friend of a friend and somehow managed to make it back stage. Gene was describing her to me later. Big hair, lots of leather, TONS of hairspray."

"Oh jeez!" Trynia groaned. "One of THOSE."

"Gene said when he left the arena, she was all over Paul. Anyhow, Paul's sitting in our suite, half intoxicated, and all he can talk about is you."

"Ho man... that's... sweet!" Trynia sighed. "I can't believe it! Even though he would send me letters at least once a week!"

"Now you know why," Terri smiled, grasping her hand again in support. "He asked 'Is it cheating?' He kept mumbling about how he didn't want to cheat....he didn't want to do it...."

"I wish I had known," Trynia sighed. "Tryn, he was SOO worried that Gene would tell me and somehow I would tell you."

"Well, he sort of admitted... that there was someone that he had tried, but he stopped after her. He didn't tell me much more..." Trynia recounted.

"Gene's in there, telling him again and again that it was basically a cheap groupie F***CK and not to let himself get all wound up in guilt," Terri said. "I heard him say, 'Hell, Paul, you did it with Linda'."

"Well I figured that was what it was," Trynia nodded. "And I told him that sort of thing didn't quite count as cheating... because we were still figuring out what was going on with this..."

"And I heard him say, 'This is different.'" Terri continued. "Then he started his "I've messed it up" song and dance. And he kept going on and on and on with that."

"That is so Paul!" Trynia groaned, with a knowing smile.

"Well, the alcohol didn't help either," Terri sighed and continued the story. "Finally after about 20 minutes of Paul blubbering about his mess-up and Gene trying to understand his slurred double-speak. Gene says to him, "Damn it, Romeo, I have a friggin' BRILLIANT idea. If you don't want to screw other girls, DON'T DO IT!' "

"Gene said that?" Trynia half laughed in surprise.

"Honest. I was right there. Finally I hear Paul say, 'I don't want to.'"

"Alcohol never helps in large quantities..." Trynia grumbled, then realized what she had said. "Oh my god are you serious?"

Terri nodded and continued, "Gene about bellows, 'THEN DON'T!' Best friends, you know."

"Yeah heehee tell me about it! That's like Sharmane and me..."

"Yeah I imagine! Sometimes I think Paul has to hear it from Gene to sink in, and vice versa. He pretty much got up, said to Gene, "I'm going to go call her" and left the room. I'm not sure if he got through to you or not. Did you get a drunk call from Paul?" she laughed.

"Well I got a rather cryptic message on my answering machine one night," Trynia said. "It sounded like Paul... but by that time I was studying late at the library."

"Hehhe," Terri chuckled. "That's the last we ever heard of it. I never heard again about Paul and some concertgoer."

"What did he do instead for the Encores?" Trynia asked.

"I don't think he did," Terri said. "I think he just kind of went back to the room and watched TV. A few times Gene and I went over to bug him, but for the most part, he went back to the room and watched TV. I think he wrote some songs too. Would be an interesting listen, I'm sure."
"well I have heard him playing a lot lately... in the studio," Trynia said. "When I'm practicing drawing or watching Aaron."

"Next thing we knew, he's talking about flying you up for the holidays," Terri smiled.

"When he sent me that letter... with the plane ticket... I was so excited..."

"So was he. It's like his mood instantly improved," Terri explained.

"Kind of a funny end to the story too. I heard through a friend in pyro that the Leather Girl wanted a repeat of her tryst with Paul. When she went to the security gate, Paul refused to give her a backstage pass. I thought that was funny as hell."

"Oh man!" Trynia laughed, joining in with Terri. "That is too funny!"

"I thought so too," Terri laughed. "Gene, of course, had to rib him about it, 'Why the hell did you do THAT, Einstein? She never had a chance to experience the REAL lover of the band!' Then of course he had to wag that infernal tongue and I just HAD to slug him."

"Good for you Terri!"

"God, that man is exasperating sometimes," Terri groaned, rolling her eyes yet again.

"Gene needs to get smacked around," Trynia chuckled.

"Yes, he did, but he's so darn loveable at times." Terri relented with a smile. "I hope that story doesn't hurt too much, but the reason I told you was I think you needed to know that even on the road, all alone, he was thinking of you."

"I am very thankful you told me."

"I know you and Paul have a great chance together, it's just that it's going to take work pulling him out of the shell he's built around himself."

"Well to tell the truth I have a bit of a wall myself. Men have often used me for my creativity... or my brains. Plus I know how infernally private and shy he can be. They would get close just to take advantage of me painting them... or else wanting me to help them with chemistry... and I'd get hurt."

"Oh brother that sounds familiar!" Terri snorted. "Well, you'd never have to worry about that with Paul. My opinion is that Paul is feeling himself getting closer and closer to you, and subconsciously it is freaking him out."

"I don't' want him to freak out," Terri sighed.

"That's the only explanation I can think of for why he is suddenly so jealous of you and Gene."

"But I don't WANT GENE, Terri!"

"Trynia, I think that's why this threesome event is suddenly coming to the surface. I know that and you know that and Gene knows that, and damn it, Paul does too. I guess he just needs some reassurance.

"I wish to God I have never done it," Trynia sighed, wiping a tear from her eye. "If I knew then what I know now."

"Tryn, you can't beat yourself up about it. You didn't know either of them. Both of them did it willingly, at least that's what Gene told me."

"Not after the way he made love to me the next day... no one has ever made me feel the way he did. I guess I was trying to show off..." Trynia grumbled.

"Let me ask you this. Do you think you would be willing to tell him that you don't want to be with anyone else?" Terri asked.

"Yes." Trynia said without hesitation.

"Tomorrow is New Years Eve. What if you told him you want an exclusive relationship?"

"Terri, I don't want anyone else... I couldn't take it..."

"I really think that's what he wants, but he is too frightened to ask for it, Tryn,"

"how can I tell him?"

"I think you have to be honest. Don't back him into the wall or make him make life promises, but just be straightforward. Tell him that you are living in "the now" and what you want from him now is a committed relationship. A promise that neither of you will be with anyone else.

A promise to take your relationship a step further. Meet each others parents. Move in together....possibly, if you are ready."

"That's a big step. My parents keep bugging me after they saw that promise ring Paul gave me..."

"Make him pledge to you that the relationship will be exclusive. For whatever the future brings, who knows."

"Well, there is the small problem of distance. He lives here on the West Coast, I live back east... And I cant' drop everything to move here..."

"You'll have to be prepared for that question from him," Terri said firmly. "And how you are going to answer it."

"I could transfer, but where?" Trynia asked.

"Would you change schools for him?

"It would depend. I just started my research. I don't' know if all my classes would transfer or not...I might have to start all over again."

"Trynia, Let me ask you this. When you found out about the pills, was there a part of you that wanted to maybe not tell him?"

"No and yes," Trynia admitted, not able to look Terri in the eye.

"But I don't want to trap him into marrying me because I pregnant or something."

"I think there is that part of you that wants him body and soul too, Trynia."

"Terri, I see what Aaron is in his life, and I want it damn it... more then I can stand... But I don't' know if I have the right..."

"Damn, I wish he'd talk to Gene about what he was thinking. Lately, though, he won't discuss it. He's real tight-lipped, and that's strange for Paul and Gene. Somethings up."

"Hmmm I don't know... It makes me uneasy. Why did Paul CUT HIS HAIR? He asked me if it was okay if he got it cut and I was like, well why are you asking me?"

"I wish I could help you, girl. Something's going on," Terri shook her head. "All he told Gene was that he was getting tired of having it long. Pretty nondescript answer."

"Terri, when Linda noticed it, he made this gesture. Like a finger across the throat and she shut up."

"Now that's interesting..."

"She only noticed it last minute," Trynia shook her head. "She said, "You should keep it like that, Paul.' ""That's typical Linda," Terri snorted. "Girl, I don't know how you do it with him. I guess that's why Gene and I are so good together. We both have big mouths and have to talk about whatever is on our mind."

"Well it would be boring to know everything about Paul. Well it's not as if he knows my every secret either. he always asks me "What are4 you thinking about sweetie?"

"For whatever reason, Paul's going to need some prodding, Trynia.

I think you deserve to know where he stands, and the same for him.

I think tonight might be a perfect time to talk. He's already feeling vulnerable because of Aaron."

"So that's why he rushed us back to his home? He did say he felt too crowded. That he wanted some quality time with his son and his lady... that floored me."

"He seems to me like he has something on his mind. He's stopped talking to Gene. He cut his hair for no reason. He freaks out over a game with friends because of a sexual experience among strangers. He's working toward something. The key is to get him to spill it.

"I don't know how unless I seduce him and get him to blurt it out

when he's in the midst of passion."

"Well, remember what I told you about Linda. He carried the damn ring around for months before giving it to her. You know, that's NOT a bad idea."

"But I don't want to push him," Trynia muttered.

"Imagine this.... You are in the midst and you look him in the eye and say, "Paul, I want you body and soul. You and only you." What do you think he'd say?"

"Well I think I could handcuff him in, and tie a scarf over his eyes, have him at my mercy... then ask him... well forget the blindfold

I want him to worship me with those beautiful eyes..."

"Trynia, I think you should go for it. I think he'd be more likely to blurt out what he REALLY thinks. Don't give him too much time to rehearse an answer."

"I couldn't... could I?"

"Like I said, I saw him with Aaron tonight. He's feeling vulnerable. He's had to deal with the loss of his son.

"Ohh man someone shouldn't go through so much crap." Said Trynia.

"I still say Paul needs a swift kick to get him to do what he so desires to do."

"Yeah... but kicking that lovely ass," Trynia shook her head.

"Well let's go back down before they think I abducted you!" Terri laughed.

Downstairs in the improvised dancing hall, Gene was back to the task of spinning CD's. Monique was in the process of showing Ace a new dance she saw in a club in New York.

"enough with this new crap!" Ace groaned! "Get something classical on!"

"How classical?" Gene asked from the table.

"Something before 1980!" Ace shouted back.

"You asked for it," Gene smirked with an evil grin. He dug through the forty fives stacked on his table. He extracted one and plopped it onto the turntable, and immediately Sure Know Something popped on.

"Aww Shit you gotta be KIDDING Me!" Ace groaned.

"I lived through this era once and doesn't want to do it again!" Peter moaned.

"C'mon Dad be a good sport!" Jenilee laughed. "Show me some moves..."

"Aww damn," Peter cursed as his daughter lead him out. Ace laughed and consoled himself with the sight while Monique dragged him out as well.

Paul was moving to the beat himself when he noticed Trynia and Terri returning. Striding over to her he asked,"Sooooo, what were you two ladies up to up there? That was kind of a long time to see baby clothes."

"Well, I'm sorry, it was just a little girl talk," Trynia apologized, kissing his cheek. "Let me guess. Terri bought out the entire stock from Baby Gap." Paul laughed. "Say, would you like to dance?"

"Sure," Trynia laughed, knowing it would be safe, for now. Paul grabbed her arm and whirled her out onto the floor. They began to interpose their steps back and forth. Paul was amazed with how well she moved, and was enjoying himself immensely between the nice buzz of the champagne and the high from dancing. Somewhere in the midst of his own singing he asked, "Want to see a Kiss landmark?"

Trynia smiled and said, "Sure".

"C'mon," Paul smiled, leading her out of the studio and through the house. They exited the French doors and moved across the patio toward the sizable bungalow that she recalled changing outfits that first night so long ago.

"This is the place they first put on the makeup for the reunion, you know, baby," Paul chuckled, arm around her waist.

"I've only seen it once, when Terri and I changed in here..." She laughed, and wasn't surprised when he tried the door and found it unlocked.

"C'mon in," Paul nodded with a toss of his head. He opened the door first and she strode inside. Within it was blessedly quiet of the pounding disco beat. Paul closed the door behind them both and locked it carefully. Trynia chuckled, and strode through the sitting area.

"It's very nice..." she whispered.

"Mmm hmm," Paul purred, and slipped his arms around her from behind. Soft kisses traced her ear, and down her neck.

"This was where you guys were getting ready to go on MTV to kick off your reunion tour," Terri chuckled.

"Well, let's just say, I'm ready for a little reunion of my own. You, me and that BIG bed there in the back." Paul whispered into her ear. Still holding onto each other they made their way down the short hallway to the main bedroom, which Paul pushed the door open into. Trynia gasped at the generous king sized bed, brass with a soft comforter of satin. Old English furniture composed the rest of the suit, and Paul led her over to the one side of the bed. Wrapping his arms around her he lowered his lips to hers for a soft gentle kiss. It blossomed into a firm press as he coaxed her mouth apart and thrust his tongue over hers. Leaning heavily into her he pressed her to the bed under his own weight.

She moaned as he grabbed her hips and positioned her more comfortably on the bed. He slowly pulled off her shoes and reached up under her skirt to tug at her pantyhose carefully. Fingers tickled and she laughed as he pushed her skirt up and tugged her dress.

"Wait," she said, sitting up. Lifting her arms she let him tug the dress up and off. He threw it down, and admired her there, laying under him. He moved over and straddled her, leather-clad thighs pressing down from above with delicious weight. Over her exposed neck and chest he bathed her with soft kisses and licks, reaching around her to unfasten her bra. Kisses increased as he rubbed himself against her, and only leaned up to quickly unbutton his shirt and tear it off in his haste to meet her bare skin with his.

"Paul..." she whispered, when their latest hungry kiss ceased for want of breath.

"Yes baby? Am I driving you wild and crazy?"

"Yes... but I need... wait..."

"Hmm?" Paul asked.

"Did you bring any champagne back with you? You taste so much like it..."

"Good idea, I could use a little alcohol, how about you?" he said, New York accent much thicker now then before. He rose off of her, and strode out of the room, moonlight creeping over his bare back through the slats of the vertical blinds. Soon he returned with two glasses clenched in one hand, the bottle in his other. Handing one glass to her he set the bottle down on the nightstand, and settled down alongside her on the bed.

"There you go baby," he purred, clinking his glass to hers.

"Paul.. before we go on... I have to tell you something..."

"Oh?" he asked as he took another sip of champagne.

"Well," she began, but stopped when she lost her nerve.

"Umm...baby, should I be worried?" Paul asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Er, you know those birth control pills you bought me... well..."

"Two ladies alone for a good half an hour, and suddenly you have something to tell me," Paul teased.

"I was a freaking clutz...." Trynia took a deep breath and gasped. "And they spilled into the damn sink... and I didn't wannna... no I'm NOT! I just dumped my last dose down the damn drain and I didn't want to appear stupid and ruin this special night..."

Paul stopped cold at her words, reaching over to switch the light on. She saw the pout on his face and put a hand over her own to hide the hot flush of shame.

"Say what? Man that is awful..." Paul shook his head. "Well, baby, I'm taking this bottle of champagne away from you if you're telling me you're pregnant".

"Paul... I..." Trynia stammered, floored at his assumption when he whisked the glass from her hand.

"Well we're not in Texas sweetie, this is California," he laughed. "And we do things differently out here..."

"Say what?" Trynia gasped, when the words registered. Tears burned her eyes and she turned away, hot anger boiling in her stomach. "What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Hon, it's OK. I've been through this before." Paul assured her, taking her shoulder in his hand.

"I'm not pregnant!!!" she yelled back. "Aren't you listening to me? I'm not PAM damn it!!!"

"Trynia... wait... no... hey..." Paul shushed, grasping her and turning her to face him. "Please... look at me... I'm sorry... I thought..."

"I'm not, I just don't have enough for tonight...." she sniffed, wiping away tears.

"Oh, thank God, sweetie. It's not like I wouldn't want it.....uh....what I mean is...." Paul stammered. "You still have school....and...."

"I know what you mean, and it's okay. I don't want to be pregnant right now..." Trynia said, calming down. "And well... I borrowed some condoms from Mr. Goodbar here..."

"Can you get back on track? The pills, that is?" Paul asked, stroking her cheek softly.

"Yes... Terri said she knows a pharmacy... but it takes 24 hours to process a prescription... Since it's New Years and all..." Trynia nodded, voice trailing off into a whisper.

"I see. Absolutely." Paul said.

"I'll just have to take the hormones for the days I miss..."

"Umm.....sure....I'm glad you got some...." Paul assured her, leaning close. Hot breath fanned her bared skin, causing the inevitable goosebumps.

"And Terri said that the hormones build up in the body... and since I've been on them for three months... missing a day won't screw me up..." Trynia further clarified. "But to be safe..."

"I'm glad you told me." Paul whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. He reached under her and tugged the covers up to peel them back. "You're shivering... let me warm you up a little baby..."

He shifted so she could slip under the covers, and then started to unbuckle his belt and shimmy out of his tight leather pants. Shedding them he slipped under the sheets next to her, and joined the coolness contained underneath.

"I feel so stupid." Trynia groaned.

"Hey, now, hush, it could happen to anyone". Paul kissed her ear lightly, reaching underneath her and pulling her body close alongside of his.

"I mean how could I end up dumping the pills down the sink!" she groaned.

"Besides, using a condom might make me feel like an 18 year old again." Paul laughed.

"Well I'm sure that's not bad right?" Trynia giggled. "You dance better then most 18 year olds!"

Paul winked at her playfully, "Well, you didn't know me when I was 18."

"I'm beginning to think you were quite a character..." Trynia smiled as he slipped a muscled thigh over hers..

"I was even more of a horn dog," he whispered seductively into her ear.

"Well damn I wish I'd been back there to get the benefit of that! Holy crap!"

"I thought Gene was the marathoner!"

Paul groaned, and rolled off of her, hand to his head, "Not Gene again"

"Damn... I'm sorry..." Trynia held up a hand, shaking her head. The sudden wave of awkwardness that arose in her was unbearable, and she moved away from him.

"Stupid, stupid stupid!"

"Tryn, wait. Come here, honey." Paul urged, catching her hand as she tried to get up out of the bed.

"What is the deal... I mention his name and you flip!" Trynia demanded, sick of this craziness.

"It was meant as a joke. It's just that.....:" Paul apologized. "Shit, don't let him ruin our New Years. I'm sorry."

"Well it's okay... I just don't want you to think I want to run away and make passionate love to him or something..." Trynia snapped. "After all Terri would KILL me."

"And so would I" Paul said seriously.

"I'm supposed to be with YOU!"

"Yes. Yes, you are...." Paul whispered, moving close alongside her again. His words shivered her to the core, and he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"And besides, being with someone who is already committed to someone else... I can't do it..." Trynia choked, meeting her gaze with his. "I only want one person exclusively..."

"Trynia...." Paul cleared his throat.

"I can't do what Terri and Gene do." She shook her head. "I'm not....I don't know if...... I can't just have someone on the side... to keep me occupied. It's all or nothing... after a certain point. I don't want you to think I make a habit of having two men at once... That was an isolated incident... believe me..."

"I believe you, and I've replayed that night over and over again in my head. What could I have done differently?" Paul sighed, chest heaving against hers.

Her phrase tumbled out the same time as his, "I ask myself the SAME thing."

"I look back and ask myself..." he said, and stopped.

"I shouldn't have done it... if I knew then what I know now.." Trynia choked.

"What I SHOULD have done is told Gene to get the hell out of here," Paul snapped. "But I didn't."

"Nor did I. I wanted you both, I stupidly said... but I was a horny groupie..." Trynia shook her head. "How was I to know you wanted me to stay around?"

"So it would serve me right if you and Gene...." Paul began.

"I don't want Gene. He's with Terri. I mean I'd lie if I said I didn't imagine sex with him. But it's just sex. Not love." Trynia repeated firmly. "I don't love him like I do you."

"Hell, I'm doing it again." Paul groaned, hitting his forehead in frustration.

"Hey sweetheart..." she said, catching his hand. "I can understand that it's hard to trust..."

"No, I need to say it. I'm talking in f**cking circles and I'm even confusing myself."

"Well I do that too!" Trynia laughed.

"Tonight when I thought I had lost Aaron, that was the worst possible feeling I could ever have." Paul said slowly, positioning a hand by her hip as his eyes fixed into hers.

"I know... it tore my heart out seeing you in pain." Trynia nodded, her heart pounding faster now.

"When Linda walked out, I resigned myself to the fact that Aaron would become my life. My existence."

"He's a wonderful son." Trynia said.

"Screw FOREVER. It doesn't last. Aaron's the only one I can count on in my life. Or so I thought," Paul continued, eyes darkening with anger.

"I can't even begin to imagine how much he means to you." Trynia cleared her throat, seeing the pain wrinkling his lovely face. "Forever is fleeting Paul. It's an absolute in science. We're flesh and blood human beings who live in the now, not permanent like stars or planets... and even those live and die..."

"Then I met you, and you were perfect. And for a small, idiotic moment, I shared you with Gene." Paul continued, stroking a finger down her arm delicately.

"Paul, am far from perfect..." she shook her head, laughing ironically.

"You are perfect to me, darling." Paul told her, his nose only inches from hers.

"Ahh damn..." she choked, wiping away a tear.

"But even after the mess with Gene, you came back to me. You were mine. Then you went off to school and I thought for sure you were gone."

"You thought I..." Trynia asked, bewildered. "I thought YOU were gone!"

"I tried to remind myself that it didn't matter. That the only thing that mattered was PAUL and what he wanted to do." Paul continued, separating himself from her for a moment and turning away.

"I mean you wrote me those letters and all... but you could have given me the royal KISS off no pun intended," Trynia insisted.

"But I soon found that wasn't true, and somehow I got you back in my arms again." Paul said, and turned to her again, sliding an arm across her chest and turning her to lay on her side alongside of him. "But I'll be honest with you, seeing a very, very important person in my life just about walk out on me made me think about our relationship and how truly devastated I would be if I lost you again."

"Oh God there you go again.... this is just... I can't believe... it's like some crazy dream in reality..." Trynia sniffed.

"Linda walked, Trynia. She just damn walked out of my life. Sure, it was gradual, but little by little, she left me alone. Now I'm facing the very real fact that in two weeks, you're going to walk out too."

"I don't want to go... but I have a life and so do you! What can I do!" she cried, tears seeping down her cheeks. Hiding her hand in her face she tuned over till her back faced his.

"Linda and I tried that too. When she decided to stay home and I went on the road, we swore we'd make it work. We swore I'd fly home every chance I got. And you know what? Five years down the road, I can look back and say that the day I lost her was the day I let her walk out that very first time."

"I don't want to break your heart again, but what can I do? I just... don't want to be the one that makes you give up on love... because I have a life..." Trynia sobbed, burying her face in the pillow. Paul's hand closed on her back, gripping her shoulder tightly.

"Trynia... please look at me," Paul begged, the plaintive note in his voice urging her to let him guide her up and turn over so she faced him once more. His own dark eyes were moist with tears, and her blurred vision made it difficult to read the hurt and longing in his face.

"But it's not much of one if you're not in it!" Trynia sniffed, as he wiped away a tear delicately.

"I don't want to be without you." Paul shook his head, wrapping her close in his arms.

"And I don't want to be without you," Trynia stammered. "But what can I do? I'm so confused! Everything in me wants to just forget school and run away with you... but I have my own life and a career! But the thought of leaving and breaking your heart... it's KILLING ME!"

"Awww baby, I..." Paul sighed, wiping away his own tears. "I can't bear to see you in pain... but I can't ignore my own heart... especially when it's pleading me to tell you everything I've been hiding inside of it. All the feelings I've locked up and shoved away because they were too painful to feel again..."

"Paul, what would you have done if I said I was pregnant?" Trynia asked, knowing that truth had exposed how vulnerable they truly were.

For a moment Paul hesitated, knowing the validity of her question. He knew that what he would next say would perhaps seal his fate or change the course of their lives inevitably. There was no going back.

"Trynia..." he said. Her eyes fixed deeply into his as she waited for his next words.