Zycie w Blekicie ver 3.0 - Detective Meagen

Monday, December 30, 2002

It burns... it burns...

Of course, the "it" in question being my new CD-R drive, that is a Good Thing. ;)

And I've just been set up with a cable modem. No more sky-high bills, no more failed connections, no more slugging around on a modem. No more concience pangs that I've been sitting way too long and can't afford it. Ah, life is good.

Of course, that won't help my studying any. Gah! Must get back to work...
There is only one truth... 7:06 PM

I can't sleep.

I've been thinking about A. too much. My old high school crush, noted in a few places in this very blog under that initial. By some odd coincidence I've remebered that old story twice in the past few days.

Mizuumi-chan's away visiting family and I haven't talked to her for a long time. Face to face I mean, or at least over the phone - I hate talking about important matters through chat. I miss her. I miss her a lot. I want to talk to her, I want to unload my problems and then feel guilty about it, and I want her to cry on my shoulder like she promised she would.

She and Egon just cannot get their act together, which is very frustrating as they do love each other. That's much more than I ever had, and they should treasure it and build on it, not do whatever the hell they're doing now to keep each other away. Honestly, sometimes it seems they've both got a Big List of Shoujo Manga Ways to Misinterpret Your True Love's Intentions and they're ticking things off as they go.

Remebering A. also reminded me that I'm getting into a very similar situation right now in college, and of course that I still don't have a boyfriend yet. I really need to stop getting crushes on cute blond men who don't give me the time of day. I think I'll work this into a future fanfic, just to get it out of my system.
There is only one truth... 2:00 AM

Friday, December 27, 2002

Ah, well, that got the writing spirit flowing. So while I'm sittin' round waiting for egon to show up, why don't we look at the just passed Christmas?

Christmas Eve was a bit of a letdown. Sure, most of my family lives abroad, and those members who are in Poland aren't close enough to me to warrant travel either way. That means there were just four people at the table, the same who usually attend dinner. So it was just like any other day, except for the wafer-sharing and tree. Ah, yes, the tree. This year mum bought it a bit late and we only decorated it on the morning of Christmas Eve. This means I didn't have those few days when I'd walk into the living room, see the tree and think "Oh yeah, Christmas is soonish, isn't it?" and get that pleasant tingly feeling. Also, we forgot we'd thrown away the fairy lights last year, and there wasn't any time to buy new ones. A tree without lights looks like it's, well, missing something. Probably said lights.

And I'll be getting most of my presents now, after Christmas, so there wasn't even the excitment from that. Bad planning there, we didn't go shopping until the very end of the season, and there was such a crowd that mum said to heck with it, we're buying after the rush.

So you might think I didn't get to feel any of that Christmas spirit this year. Well, you're wrong. You see on Friday the 20th (one whole week ago? egads, how time flies!) last year's class 4w (my old high school class) had a meeting. Just like in the old times, on the last Friday before the Christmas holidays, we all got together in classroom 213. Everyone brought drinks and snacks. We remembered old times. We exchanged stories of college. We talked and talked deep into the night. (Well, until 8:30 or so.)

This was, in a word, wonderful. I'm not sure if all first-year college students feel the same, but I've been pretty lost and lonely these few months. I've never been very good at meeting new people (especially since it takes time to get used to me), and, well, sudden change and all that. But then suddenly I was among all those people who knew me and liked me, and they were all saying how much they were missing me (and likewise, naturally!). It was really something else.

We all missed each other. Every single person was there because they really wanted to see the others again. You could almost taste the mutual goodwill. If that's not what Christmas is about, then I don't understand Christmas.
There is only one truth... 11:50 PM

From the Megatokyo forums...

I'm gonna write a doujin where Piro turns out to be an alien from outer space who's come to Earth to assimilate shoujo manga, which serves as a form of low-calorie sustenance on his homeworld. Largo is actually an advanced android built from a toaster fused to a Colecovision, whom Piro cobbled together upon crash-landing in Canada in order to have someone to split rent with. After Piro's sketchbook, containing the schematics for his new spaceship cleverly disguised as drawings of sad girls in snow, was stolen by Yuki, he decides to forgo his original mission in favor of capturing all the females he's interacted with and bringing them back to his home planet to serve as conversation starters and hockey referees. But Piro runs into some trouble when he is confronted by Erika, a fuku ninja skilled in the art of Wang Fu, and her sensei, Kimiko, who is actually a 4000-year old man who dresses as a young voice actress to protect the honor of their clan. He attempts to have Largo disable Erika by seducing her with his masterfully programmed romance subroutines, but Largo is distracted by Miho and Ping, who are two perfectly normal people who just act like a Goth zombie queen and PS2 accessory for shits and giggles. It is at this point that the Supreme Overlord of Piro's homeworld sees fit to send forth tiny winged advisors to instruct Piro on the best way to complete his mission and the finer points of moto-scooter repair...

.....

OR, I'll just let Piro write it how he wants to. I think that's better, really.
There is only one truth... 11:26 PM

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

So I just got these six CDs full of Love Hina and Card Captor Sakura TV episodes. Need to watch them all before Friday and give them back. Maybe I'll copy a few favs to my drive... The second ep of Hina is just great. It's the one where they introduce Shinobu, the lil' blue-haired one (in the manga she's already living at Hinata when the series starts). It had some not very annoying but helpful symbolism, and it was just... lovely. I wonder if Miz-chan's seen it yet?

Is it just me or does "Next time, come RELEASE with me!" sound more than a little bit dirty? (It's what Sakura says at the end of every "next episode" preview.)
There is only one truth... 8:08 PM

Oh, yeah, since Mizuumi-chan is a goddess now, I will say "Oh, Miz!" instead of "Oh, God!", and replace all "goddamnit" with "Hey Miz, damn this for me, won't you?".
There is only one truth... 12:08 PM

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Take the "How Do You Use Magic?" test! Written by Brimo

Not really, at least the "after years of study" part. But I want Miz 'n Egon to check this out.
There is only one truth... 1:32 PM

Sunday, December 15, 2002

Layout up. All is forgiven. ^_^

Totoro-kun made this for me. You like?

You can mail him thru the link at the bottom of the page. I'm not sure how good his English is though ;P
There is only one truth... 8:31 PM

Excuse me while I cruse audibly while trying to put up a new layout.
There is only one truth... 7:25 PM

Nothing much, just a couple new links.
There is only one truth... 9:33 AM

Monday, December 09, 2002

Tonight, I was talking to Mizuumi-chan over a chat thingy. She and Egon are at the "she did something wrong, he was angry, she's blaming herself" stage again. Then at one point, my connection fizzled out and resisted all attempts to be re-established.

This was a blessing in disguise. I realised I was angry - I was angry at the whole situation, angry at them, and above all angry at Miz. Why? Because she was not happy.

Now, I've often been unhappy in my life. I consider it a great accomplishment to have grown out of my teen moodyness without any major depression breaks and achieved a somewhat Zen-like state of constant cheerfullness, inside and out. This is a great thing for me and it really improves my life a lot.

But I keep forgetting that other people aren't like me.

And what's good for me is not necessairly good for Mizuumi. I've already noticed that I keep trying to change her - make her walk the path I walked, re-make her in my own image. She's smart, she's strong, and I'm sure she can resist it. I can only hope she can learn a few things on the way that will benefit her. (Like swimming, or bike riding.)

But there I was, angry at my imouto-chan for not being happy whatever happens. For not forgetting her love if it became too painful. In fact, for not being exactly like someone who's four years older than her and a completely different person. To wit, me.

So, Mizuumi-chan, will you forgive me? Please forgive me, for denying you sorrow. For trying to force you to be happy, just for my own happiness. For telling you how to live your life and love your love. I was trying so hard to make you happy and assuming your feelings are identical to mine...

...I really do love you after all, don't I?
There is only one truth... 11:42 PM

[ created by: TOTORO 4 Meagen ]