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Whilst they do occasionally indulge in kidnapping and corrupting small children, Goblins, or "Ktch'nzyar-ly-Ptokha" as they call themselves in their own language, mostly occupy themselves with much less mundane affairs. These include anything from spinning planets on their little fingers like basketball players, to making sure the Mr. Whippy machines at fairgrounds never run out of strawberry icecream. (Incidentally the best icecream ever invented, and anybody who disagrees should be taken away by the goblins and cast down a holeful of hands into an oubliette.)
This site is dedicated to the study of the often bizarre lifeforms we know and love as GOBLINS.
An ancient Egyptian text was recently unearthed and translated by a scholar at the University of Manchester. To read what it has to say about goblins, go to the Bestianomicon.
Old News:
The Ambassador for Irish Goblins, Isan Goblenski, has joined my team of elite researchers in our quest for the ultimate truth. Read his new theory on the Goblin Theory page.
I have actually managed to aquire a real live goblin!!! His name is Smierdle, and he's on my Adopt a Goblin page.
I was hoping to be able to answer many more questions with this aquisition, but alas, it seems not. Smierdle has terrible amnesia; he doesn't even seem to know he's a goblin, and when I bring the subject up he just starts singing "Chatanuga Choo-Choo" in some bizarre modal key. It seems the painfully-slow translation and interpretation of the Bestianomicon remains our best hope.
Have patience. Questions will be added - soon.
Meanwhile have a look at the answers to the questions posed so far.
