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[THE GREATEST LOVE STORY OF ALL TIME]*
*Taken from the Pokemon episode Showdown in Dark City. Some details may be slightly distorted/heinous lies.
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Ahhh life is good! Only minutes after arriving in Dark City, Pikachu has picked up a sweet lil' honey in the nearest bar. No, not the Nurse Joy in the flasher mac, fool! We're talking about the KETCHUP! |
Pikachu was more than happy to share around his Saucy lovin'. He knew that life without Ketchup was like omlettes without...uh...Ketchup. |
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Sadly though, Ash was more of a Mayonaise man. He said the ketchup was
putting all kinds of ideas in Pikachu's head, crazy ideas that could turn
a young Pokemon's mind. He said that condiment was no good, from the wrong
side of the tracks, and that Pikachu must never see it again...or be grounded.
But Pikachu knew his sauce was good, it was so red, so tasty, so spicy! It would never do him any harm. |
Pikachu and the ketchup bottle continued to see each other behind Ash's back. .....Well to the left of his left trainer... but hey, since when did Ash pay attention to Pikachu outside of a battle? The Ketchup provided all the emotional fulfilment Pikachu would ever need and damn, did it taste good. If only Pikachu knew he should savour the ketchup now, for soon it would be too late. |
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In the middle of some lame-ass pokemon battle Ash was having for no reason,
One of a scyther's blades narrowly missed Pikachu! It would have put a gruesome
end to his little yellow furry life and sent pokemon merchandise sales
down 99%, if not for that brave ketchup leaping to protect its love from
the murderous blow!
Pikachu tried to hold it back, but it was too late, the Ketchup took the full force of the swing, right on the bottleneck! |
| (NOTE: THIS FRAME RATED R FOR VIOLENCE)
CRACK! The ketchup was mortally wounded. Its tomato flavoured goodness spilled from it's insides and dyed the gym floor a grim crimson. |
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The Ketchup lay dying in Pikachus arms. "Piiikaaaaa" he said softly. And then: "Chuuuuuuuuuuuu...." William Shakespeare could not have said it better himself. But the ketchup had gone. Tears streamed down Pikachu's face, his normally Ketchup-red cheeks turned pale as he realised that he, and he alone, mourned the death of this fine bottle of sauce. |
| Pikachu didn't even know where to bury the body, Ash certainly wouldnt
help, he'd never understand the sacrifice the Ketchup made to protect Pikachu.
And so, with a heavy heart, Pikachu muttered a few words (all of them "Pikachu") over his smashed sweetheart, then pitched it into the nicest trashcan he could find. |
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Pikachu still remembers the good times with that Ketchup, and so should
you.
Remember this, and take hope: It may be a crazy world, but every Pikachu will always find its Ketchup. And no matter how much time they have together, their love will last forever. |
