Top ten signs your English teacher isn't up to speed

9. He refers to every female character in a book as "slutbunny".

8. Every so often, he walks into class in the morning wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

7. He has bottles of Prozac taped underneath the desk.

6. Whenever the intercom starts up, he clutches a notebook over his head, cringes under the desk, and whimpers, "Oh no, not the voices again!"

5. All lectures are given in mime.

4. When somebody stands up to read, he insists that they do all of the funny voices for the characters.

3. Your year-end project is described thusly: "Do something to that lousy bastard of a Geography teacher. Call me a cheap hack, will he? I'll show him!! BY JOVE, WE'LL SHOW HIM!!!"

2. Refers to himself in the third person at all times.

1. Insists he's an alien from "Men in Black".