Fun Things to do at Stop & Shop

(Or any other grocery store, for that matter)

Pick up a 20oz soda, walk to the deli, and nonchalantly leave it there.
Try to pop wheelies with the shopping carts.
Attempt to set up a grill in the meat aisle and cook hamburgers without the clerks noticing.
After you start the grill, attempt to get a rousing game of volleyball going.
When nobody's looking, sneak behind one of the registers and randomly hit buttons.
Demand to know where they're hiding the DDT.
Ask newly-hired employees where the Automotive section is, and get really pissed off when they can't find it.
Sing at the top of your lungs as you walk through the store.
Stand at one end of the aisle and do nothing for about an hour.
Hum the Stop & Shop jingle to everyone you see, and demand they stand still and listen until you finish.
Follow people about four inches behind them as if you want to pass them, but when they step aside, just look at them dumbly.
Pop all of the bags in Produce.
Walk back and forth between the cherries and the grapes, each time snatching one and eating it.
Get in the cart and demand that the employees push you.
Sing popular songs, but with inappropriate lyrics (ie, "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg...")
Ram other shopping carts for no apparent reason.
When other customers aren't looking, drop random items in their carts. Then follow them to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
Randomly rearrange the prices on the shelves.
Try to snatch a pricing gun, then walk around and place exorbinant prices on things (ie $10.55 for a can of beef gravy...)
Pelt customers in other isles with peanuts (or cherries).
Pick up candy bars, hurl them to the floor, and place them back. Then watch when people try to eat them.
Roll beach balls through the isles randomly. (And if you think anyone will pick up on it, start playing that weird Rover sound from "The Prisoner".)
Redeposit products from display stands around the store.
Pretend to stub your toe so that you can cuss in front of youngsters.
Ask for five pounds of meat from the deli, then wander off while they fill the order.
Violently shake all of the soda bottles.
Shove shopping carts into the parking lots randomly. Listen for "clang" or "kling" - then you've hit something.
Take mustard packets from the deli, then run over them with a shopping cart.
Create obstacle courses out of handbaskets and shopping carts, then watch as people (and eventually clerks) try to catch you.
Shove a shopping cart at the light bulbs, then run off and listen for the crash.
If there's a bookstore, bend back all of the covers on the books.
Again, if there's a bookstore, read passages from cheap romance novels aloud at the top of your lungs.
When the clerk is totaling your purchases, run away and hide.
Come on to the newly-hired clerks (males and females!).
Scribble obscene notes in the notebooks.
Whenever people are going down the aisle, shout "Red Light!"
Try to carry on conversations with the announcer voice.
Shout at nobody in paticular, "You chipped my paint job, you bastard!" Then watch the chaos ensue.
Try to kick field goals with bags of frozen fries.
Randomly jump into aisles with a mop, shout "Toxic Revenger!", then run off.
Roll soda bottles down the aisles randomly.
Play "catch" with a friend across aisles.
For no apparent reason, cry out "Cleanup on aisle five!" and see what happens.
Get a derranged look in your eye and start staring at the cutlery.
Argue with clerks that you won't buy asprin unless you can count the pills in the bottle.
Set up tripwires throughout the store.
Get live lobsters, then open the package and let them roam free through the store.
As above, but set up lobster "obstacle courses".
Pick up ice from Produce, then hurl it over into other aisles and cry "It's snowing!!!"
Try various martial arts moves using the objects in the store. If anyone asks, explain that you're a coreographer for Jackie Chan.
Switch the signs on the bathrooms.
Make it your duty to lean over everyone's shoulder and explicate at great length how unhealthy their purchases are.
The second a clerk speaks to you, scream at the top of your lungs that you want to see a manager. Then leave.
Stick fresh meat behind boxes of cereal and leave it.
Redeposit ice cream around the store, just make sure nobody sees you.
Scream at the top of your longs. When someone asks you what's wrong, mumble something and walk away.
Demand that every single item you buy be quadruple-bagged "just to be sure".
Try to get on the loudspeaker and make farting noises.
Punch holes in all of the saran-wrapped meat.
Pick up fruit, lick it, then put it back.

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