Okay, this is just a little idea I've had bumping around in my head for a while. Those of you who insist that Brawn or Nightbeat didn't die might have a problem with this, but it's funny anyways... UNTIL WE GET KILLED TOO (sung to the tune of "I'll Be There For You" by the Rembrandts - also known as the Friends theme song) [INT - Axel Grime Café. Several Transformers and a lone human get up and assemble around the instruments on the stage, preparing to play.] [CLOSE-UP: We see that WINDCHARGER has taken up his position at the keyboard. SKYWARP, MISFIRE and THUNDERWING are all holding guitars. In center stage, BRAINSTORM, BRAWN, NIGHTBEAT, PROWL, RATCHET, WHEELJACK, FORTRESS MAXIMUS, IRONHIDE, and HARDHEAD are all standing at different microphones. Behind all of them, the human, COURTNEY COX, sits at drums. (Hey, did you see this song's music video?)] [Suddenly, the band begins to lead into the song with instrumentals. CLOSE-UP on the singers as they begin to sing...] BRAWN: So no-one told you you would get blown up today... IRONHIDE: This job is hard enough without getting killed each day... NIGHTBEAT: Even if HasKen kills you, never fear... RATCHET: 'Cos if you get destroyed today, next week, next month... PROWL: ...or even next year, well... WHEELJACK & BRAINSTORM: We will repair you! RATCHET: Like we have done before. PROWL & BRAINSTORM: We'll rehabilitate you! NIGHTBEAT: If you've been shot before. BRAWN, FORT MAX & HARDHEAD: We'll be there for you! IRONHIDE: Until we get killed too... HARDHEAD: As you get out of bed, you know the day won't be too great... BRAINSTORM: Because when your head gets blown off - that's the part you hate! PROWL: We've begged HasKen to stop the war, please... RATCHET: But they say they can't make money off of that... NIGHTBEAT: ...a show about peace, so... WHEELJACK & BRAINSTORM: We will repair you! RATCHET: Like we have done before. PROWL & BRAINSTORM: We'll rehabilitate you! NIGHTBEAT: If you've been shot before. BRAWN, FORT MAX & HARDHEAD: We'll be there for you! IRONHIDE: Until we get killed too... NIGHTBEAT: It makes me want to see red... WHEELJACK: ...when someone blows off my head! BRAINSTORM: You're not the only one who knows... PROWL: ...what it's like to be dead... BRAWN: It's always really painful... IRONHIDE: ...makes me feel quite disdainful... FORT MAX: ...it's really rather shameful... HARDHEAD: ...what TransFans will pay to see yooooooou dead! [Instrumental section. There is the sound of several laser pistols, rifles, and other destructive weapons being drawn.] NIGHTBEAT: Even if HasKen kills you, never fear... [BLAM. WINDCHARGER flies backwards with a hole through him] RATCHET: 'Cos if you get destroyed today, next week, next month... [Two loud shots. HARDHEAD falls to the ground, his body sheared in two. SKYWARP'S head is blown to smithereens and his body is riddled with holes before it falls.] PROWL: ...or even next year, well... [KABOOM. A large rocket hits FORT MAX, and he explodes into a thousand pieces that rain down on the crowd.] WHEELJACK & BRAINSTORM: We will repair you! [BUZZ. An electric beam slices WHEELJACK right down the middle. It then completely oblitherates THUNDERWING'S upper torso.] RATCHET: Like we have done before. [Razor blades lash out and tear RATCHET into a pile of metal shards and tubes, lying in a puddle of energon fluid.] PROWL & BRAINSTORM: We'll rehabilitate you! [A gatling gun rakes over PROWL and BRAINSTORM, chewing through their armor and leaving them falling apart and leaking. The two fall, and then shatter as they hit the ground.] NIGHTBEAT: If you've been shot before. [NIGHTBEAT tries to go crowd surfing, but is impaled by a large metal spike.] BRAWN: We'll be there for you! [A shot clips BRAWN'S shoulder, and he falls over dead. MISFIRE'S guitar is shot repeatedly, and it explodes, sending him him to the floor as the electricity shorts out all of his circuits.] IRONHIDE: Until we get killed too- [IRONHIDE is cut off as the entire audience focuses their firepower on him. His is blown to bits.] [COURTNEY COX notices that all of the Transformers have been destroyed. She gets up, then slowly gets off the stage, then dashes for the door with a panicked look on her face.] AUDIENCE: Encore! Encore! [Fade to black]