As my last hackeneyed attempt to apply the X-Files to a comedic 
subject proved a fialure (with the notable exception of the 
Cousins of the Atom), I and my cousin present the unlimited, 
noncollector's edition of...

THE TWELVE DAYS OF AN X-FILES CHRISTMAS
{Sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" - you don't 
know the song?  What cave do YOU live in?}

On the twelth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Twelve government cover-ups,
Eleven strange abductions,
Ten Kryceks dying,
Nine ghosts a-haunting,
Eight alien corpses,
Seven ciggs a-smoking,
Six cell phones ringing,
Five black oil possessees,
Four conspirators,
Three Lone Gunmen,
Mulder and Scully,
And a masking tape "X" on my window!