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With Six You Get Eggroll.
Pure Foofy Goodness by Nancy Lorenz.E-mail: tosh@opera.iinet.net.au
Rating: PG for fun stuff. There might be some swearing, but that's it.
Archive: XMMFF, WRFA. Want it, ask me.
Classification: Pure Foofaliciousness, with Logan/Rogue special herbs and spices.
Series: The Chronicles of Maxamillian Scheil.
Spoilers: None.
Synopsis: Children. Zoo. Logan. Rogue. Go figure.
Disclaimer: All characters copyright Marvel and Fox.
Feedback: Kiss me, I'm Australian. (Yes please!)
Author's Note: This is not beta read. Any of you who don't believe in evolution,
please note that not only is it spoken of extensively in this fic, but that the views of
devout Christians that don't believe in it are slightly parodied. Not that I'm kicking
anyone's faith, it's just one of those "What's a penis?" moments, that's all. This
fic was inspired by the Doris Day movie "With Six You Get Eggroll", where the song
"Que Sera Sera" was sung incessantly. Doris Day rocks my world, dude. Also,
the 'New York Zoo' is completely fictional, kinda like Lily Page's Tavern. It's loosely
based on the Perth Zoo, LA Zoo and San Diego Zoo.
Dedication: To my pal Jo who was listening to me rave on about how gorgeous
Ioan Gruffudd (pronounced Yo-an Griffith) is and how much I want his body when
she knew how delectable he was all the damn time.
Special Thanks To: Donna Bevan. The woman knows more about drugs than I
care to mention - but she's going to be a forensic pathologist after she finishes her
uni or whatever so she's got a fine excuse. Either way, she' s a good one to have
at a party (lol).Guest Starring:
Ioan Gruffudd (The Guy Who Saved Rogue in Titanic) ~~~ Geordie Carter.Matthew McConaughey (A rather young version of the Priest guy from Contact) ~~~ Gambit.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (A young Tommy from Third Rock from the Sun) ~~~ Max.
~~~~X~~~~
It was a special day. Professor Xavier pulled them all into his office and explained to them, in full detail, how very important and special the day was, and how if any of them (he eyed Logan for a long moment at this point in his prepatory speech) misbehaved or acted in a way that would cast a bad light on mutants, they would have a very long talk from him and he would be very disappointed.
Logan grunted.
It would be just like Xavier to stare at *him* of all the people that he'd rallied into this ridiculous idea of an outing.
Upon the silver-rimmed black-board next to Xavier in big white chalky words was written "Meet A Mutant Day." That's what this whole thing was. Meeting a mutant, and spending time with them for a day. Xavier had started the programme in the schools, encouraging people to let their children meet the 'mutants' that many feared, to accept them and understand them, all in hope of spawning a generation of people that didn't fear mutants and see them as something alien. Of course the reality of the situation was, the parents of these young minds were the ones with the permission slips, and many had refused to let their children have contact with any 'mutie freaks'. It was a challenge even finding a school that let the Professor in the door. Government funded schools were the only ones open to the idea, mainly because they were battling the hellish publicity caused by the now-missing Senator Kelly.
From all the schools in the vicinity of Westchester, Xavier had managed to gather a handful of fifty students for the planned trip to the New York Zoo. Xavier explained some complicated metaphor of the animals being like society, and how the dangerous animals were looked after just as well as the harmless ones, but Logan let his mind wander to the hell that would be their day out, silently thanking God that there were few enough children for the X-Men to be split into pairs as they guided the children
around the menageries. He glanced to Rogue, whose head was tilted, her eyes narrowed in concentration as she listened to Xavier, and with all the grace and maturity of a fifteen year old, stuck his tongue out at her. She double glanced at him, frowning and smiling at him with disbelief before pointing to the Professor and mouthing 'Listen!'. He sighed. She was getting prettier. He wasn't sure how she managed it, but she was surely getting prettier, suiting well the band of beautiful women that
bore the circle-bound 'X' that they all dedicated their lives to. He looked to the other people in the room.Storm was listening intently with that serious look on her face, and he wondered quietly why she never had any men hanging off her. It confused him, because she was stunning, very much the Goddess everyone regarded her as. The scoundrel Xavier had let stay here called Remy LeBeau seemed to be sniffing around her, but the boyhad the libido of a tom with two pound balls, so that wasn't a surprise. He had a heady band of admirers, most of them a little younger than Rogue. Rogue's two closest
friends of her age, Kitty and Jubilee, both flanked Remy. They were the two girls in the place that *didn't* go ga-ga for the Cajun, and Logan admired them all the more for it. Scott and Jean stood at the front of the room side by side, arms crossed in a similar stance of determination. They were overseeing the event with Xavier with all the precision of a military campaign, and with some sense of security Logan knew if they ever hit real peril (not the weekly calls of help from silly young kids tangling their stretching limbs or knocking out the usual Magneto-wanna-be's), the X-Men would be in good hands."Well," Xavier said, running his hands together, "Shall we get into the bus and on our way?"
Jubilee rolled her eyes and raised an unenthusiastic (and very much sarcastic) "Yay."
Obviously leading a bunch of kids around a hot packed Zoo all day had as much appeal to her as a day old carton of black bean stir fry. Logan turned as a waft of light oriental musk over strawberry soap pulled at his attention, and he smiled at the young woman that wore it. Rogue tipped her head and met his eyes.
"Ya ready?"
He gave a low groan, "I'm not good with kids."
She smiled, nudging him, "You were good with me."
"You weren't exactly a kid, Rogue."
Rogue smirked, pulling him along with the band of X-Men that now all filed out into the hallway, heading for the big silver bus that was parked out the front of the mansion.
"You called me 'kid' often enough."
He shrugged silently, trying to ignore the gum-snapping girl standing behind him in her gaudy yellow felty jacket.
"This sucks," she moaned.
"Tell me about it," Logan rumbled back at her.
Kitty just sighed, "Come on guys, a little enthusiasm wouldn't hurt. We're helping these kids, you know?"
Rogue sighed, "My cousin Jenny had the sweetest little kids. I miss 'em. They used to hug my legs and little Emmy would put flowers in our hair and sing songs with me."
Logan found that picture a very idyllic one, that had the fierce big bad animal in him whimpering with happiness and rolling on his back in the grass. He shifted, growing impatient in the line of the fifteen X-Men that waited to get into the bus. Scott sat at the driver's seat, fiddling with the controls to the automated door.
"Come on, Cyke," Logan growled, "We haven't got all damned day!"
Scott threw an agitated hand at Logan as he turned the key and pressed the button madly. Finally, with a shuddering groan, the doors to the bus edged open. The would-be passengers filed in, Jubilee nudging Logan and Rogue in the ribs, bustling them towards the back of the bus. When Logan looked back at her to cast her an unamused glare, she just pulled her glasses down over her eyes and grinned at him. He shook his head as the younger X-Men sat him down on the bench at the very back. Logan could see the visor of Cyclops in the rear-vision mirror, the mouth smirking back at him. Damned jerk.
He looked next to him, finding a slightly bouncing Rogue gazing out the back window.
"Ah'm so excited!" she said, "This is gonna be fun, huh?"
He glared at her flatly, but it didn't dull her mood. He always liked her for that, never letting his bad behaviour get her down. It was a strange experience indeed for Logan, and somehow therapeutic. The young X-Men around him sang bus-trip songs, and although the youngest people there were old enough for college, he felt as if he were a teenager going to a football match or some such. Some part of him felt thankful to have experienced the moment of camaraderie and excitement. Rogue grinned and sang with her friends, clapping her hands and nudging the shoulders of her friends. Every now and again she'd smile at him and pat his knee or ruffle his hair. He liked it when she was happy.
They got to the Zoo about ten in the morning, and the small group of children weren't that hard to spot at all. They ranged from second or third grade to early high school, and a few of them sported either strange hair, strange skin, or both. Somehow someone thought this was an activity geared for mutants. Oh well - it all had to start some place.
The Zoo's chosen guide strolled out with a gait that screamed of culture. Messy brown curled hair topped his head, and large doe-like eyes regarded the X-Men with an unusual kindness. Logan could sense the sudden heart flutters radiating from the women in the group as the guide flashed a bright smile and rubbed his hands together.
"Good morning - you're the group for Meet a Mutant day?"
The women all exchanged glances as the well-spoken British accent hit them, and Xavier rolled forward, offering his hand to the man. "That we are. You would be Mr. Carter?"
Shaking the proffered hand, Mr. Carter nodded. "Yes - George Carter, but you can all call me Geordie."
Jubilee swooned, gaining a puzzled look from Geordie.
"Right, uh - children - can you come in close please?" Geordie motioned for the children to gather around, and he stood up on a nearby bench to gain their attention. "Right - thanks. Now, as you know, we're all here for Meet a Mutant Day. New York Zoo is glad to help Professor Xavier and his ongoing campaigns for Mutant Rights, and we hope that after today, you'll learn enough about the amazing people that we call 'Mutants' to form your own opinion on the issue. Now, we've made some work-sheets for you, that your Group Leaders will help you fill out."
Logan glared at Xavier. "Work-sheets? What damned work-sheets?!" He practically flinched when the voice of Xavier popped into his head.
~~Please Logan, be quiet for the moment.~~
Logan straightened indignantly and looked to Rogue. She was pulling her hair behind her ears, eyes wide as she watched the guide speak.
"These sheets tell you all about evolution, and how not only humans, but the other animals in the zoo, evolved to their current state. We hope you'll see that mutation is just a part of survival, and that none of us would exist without it. Okay - when you all came in you were given numbers - all those with number one - can you please go to that palm tree over there? Jubilation and Remy are your Group Leaders. Now where are Remy and Jubilation?"
With raised brows of awe, Jubilee stepped forward.
"I'm here," she croaked. Geordie smiled and pointed to the tall palm tree that Remy and the kids were already heading off to.
"Yeah - your kids - over there."
She gave a dizzy laugh and nodded, "Kay right - dude." She walked off after Remy, looking back to Kitty and Rogue, waggling a hand and mouthing 'Owch!'. The girls all looked very much in agreement. With an awkward blush, Geordie rubbed the side of his nose and looked back to the group.
Logan tuned out as Geordie wrangled the chattering kids, rubbing the dips in his knuckles with a dark scowl. A few of the children regarded him with wide eyes, turning away from him with what could only aptly be described as fear. He wasn't too put out though, poor Hank got the strangest looks of all. Hank however, had the grace of speech of John Forsythe, and the vocabulary of the entire reference sections of the books in every library of New York State combined. Any beastly misconceptions would be blown away the moment the guy opened his mouth.
Logan on the other hand, was very good at scaring children. Very very good. He glanced up to Jean and Scott, who looked like they were in heaven amongst the ambling children who smiled at them brightly. He could see the awe in the kids faces as they looked at Jean, and Scott garnered the adoring smiles and batting eyelashes of quite a few young girls.
"Erm - Mr. Logan?"
Logan glanced up, Geordie looking straight at him.
"Your children are waiting for you."
He grit his teeth at the man. "They ain't mine, Bub."
Geordie just smiled with good humour, "Quite - either way - they're waiting for you."
He nodded, loping over to a bunch of very young looking kids milling around Rogue, all about six or seven years old. There was one kid there that looked about 12, and he seemed as enthusiastic about the whole thing as Logan did. Logan stretched his neck in the late spring heat, wishing it wasn't so clingy. He glanced back to where he came from, spotting Geordie call Storm over to him. Aah, Storm was the odd one out, but apparently she was to take the kids around with Geordie. With a smirk Logan looked back to the group he was destined to be with. Rogue smiled to Logan, and lifted a gloved hand to him.
"Hey kids - this is Logan. He's my best friend, and he teaches sport. Say Good Morning to Logan."
"Goo-mowning Logan."
One little girl frowned, "How can he be your best friend? He's a boy and he's too old."
Logan fought the urge to grit his teeth, but Rogue just shrugged.
"Well he is. Now, Logan - this is Stephanie."
He tilted his head with a thin smile, "Hey Stephanie."
The little blonde imp smiled up at him with mismatched teeth and twinkling green eyes.
"And Ted..."
A little boy with short cropped brown hair and a slack-jawed gape blinked at him.
"And Jeremy," Rogue pointed to a blonde boy, "Sally, Ralph and - " She paused, smiling differently to the older boy than the rest, "Max."
The kid twitched a nostril at Logan with ill regard and looked away. Logan liked the kid already.
"Okay, shall we go to the lawn so we can get to know each other a little before starting our tour of the Zoo?"
The kids all nodded and squealed with delight, latching onto Rogue and trailing after her as they walked over to a nearby picnic lawn to begin the day. Logan couldn't help but be a little in awe at Rogue's easy repor with the children. The woman never failed to amaze him. He sat down next to her, the children gathering around them on the grass, young Max sitting a little further away than the other kids. Logan glanced to Max's hands, noting the thick gloves that covered them.
"Marie - what's your power?" asked Stephanie, sitting to attention in front of Rogue.
Rogue tipped her head, holding up her hand. "Well, it's not really a power. We don't call them that. Professor Xavier likes to call them 'gifts'."
Jeremy pouted. "Well - what's your gift?"
"I don't really have a useful one," she said, "My skin absorbs the memories and life energies of other people and animals."
Stephanie looked confused, "What's that mean?"
Logan frowned, but Rogue looked totally at ease with the situation.
"It means that I can't touch people," she said gently, "If I do, I hurt them."
"Z'at why you wear gloves?" said Jeremy.
Rogue nodded, pulling the gloves on tighter. "Yep."
Logan looked to Max. The boy was looking away, a distinct sadness in the young features.
"How about him?"
They pointed to Logan, as if he had no voice of his own. Logan lifted a hand.
"Logan - wait-"
He didn't wait. Without even a flinch he popped his claws on the hand, letting them gleam in the sunlight. The little girls screamed and recoiled, the boys shuddering and looking scared. Max smirked.
"Jeezsss-" Rogue clamped her eyes shut and sighed, "Logan! Ah told you to wait!"
Logan shrugged, "I'm showin' 'em my 'gift' Marie."
At that, he let the claws slide back in, and left his hands in a fist to demonstrate the almost instantaneous re-knitting of the flesh there. The little girls, previously revolted and terrified, tilted their heads with confusion at the perfectly healed hands. They glanced nearby as a flash of red pulled their attention. Logan looked just in time to see Cyclops burn a pencil in half, and Jean was making one hover in the air.
The children looked back to Logan.
Jeremy shook his head, "Woah..."
Rogue smiled, her gloved hands seeking out Logan's as she spoke to the children.
"What do you know about evolution?"
Stephanie frowned. "Evolution isn't real. Why are you rubbing his hands?"
Rogue blinked, looking to Logan (who smirked with something akin to triumph), to her hands (that were absently rubbing the dips in his knuckles) and then back to Stephanie.
"Er - first off - Evolution is real, and secondly - Logan's skin itches after it heals for a few minutes, so I like to rub it better."
Logan noted Rogue's gift for glossing over the needlessly traumatic. The truth was the skin there hurt like hell from all the cutting and healing going on, and her knuckle rubs were more than welcome, especially with the nice satin of the opera gloves she wore. Stephanie steepled her fingers and looked to Rogue most seriously.
"Can I ask a question Miss Marie?"
"Sure, Steph."
Stephanie nodded, "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?"
Rogue opened her mouth, feeling her voice die in her throat. Oh shit. Logan watched Rogue stumble with the subject matter, her mouth stammering.
"Erm - well - now that's not really why we're here Stephanie."
Stephanie opened her mouth, but was cut off by Logan clearing his throat. Logan's voice had weight in it as he spoke, as he'd stayed mostly quiet since he joined the group.
"Doesn't matter what ya believe in Stephanie," he said, staring at her gravely, "It's the here and now you gotta think about."
This seemed to disturb Stephanie a little bit. Rogue addressed Stephanie with a soft look on her face.
"Did your parents know what this tour was about, Stephanie?"
Stephanie nodded, "Oh yes. They wanted me to know about the mutants."
Logan narrowed an eye. "Why?"
Stephanie blinked at him like it was blatantly obvious.
"You're plagued by demons," she said, "That's why you're punished, and have those dark powers."
Logan rolled his eyes, and Rogue squeezed his hands to silence him.
"Now Stephanie, you know that there's a perfectly scientific explanation for our gifts," she said. "Logan's body is geared for healing. It heals very fast because he has a lot of the cells that help the body fix itself up. I can't touch people because the electricity in my body is different from everyone else's."
Stephanie looked confused, and Rogue sighed.
"Look, it's not important. I tell you what - you listen to me today, and all about evolution. After that, if you still think that your idea about demons being the cause of our powers is the more likely, then fine. You can believe that. But-" She glanced to Logan and smiled before looking back to Stephanie, "If you think that maybe the idea of evolution makes more sense - then perhaps you can read up on it when you get home?"
Stephanie looked uncertain, but Rogue pouted, batting her eyelashes at the girl.
"Please? For me?"
The girl sighed, pursing her lips. "Maybe. My Momma wanted you to have this picture of Jesus though..."
Rogue smiled patiently, "I'd love to have a picture of Jesus, Stephanie."
The little girl smiled, and dug through her bag. After a moment she pulled out a couple of trading-card sized pictures of the effeminate featured Messiah, brown curly hair tumbling around his perfect features, his face tilted in regard. She handed two of them to Rogue in chubby hands.
"One is for Mr. Logan, too."
Rogue smiled to Logan, then nodded. "Thank you Stephanie. Now - uh..." She tucked the pictures away and looked back to the group, "What do you guys know of evolution?"
The children mumbled and looked blank, and with tired eyes Max looked back to Rogue and shrugged. She sighed, and crossing her legs she pulled out the work-sheets.
"Let's read out what this work-sheet has to say huh?" She flapped open the folded work-sheet, clearing her throat primly, more for show than for function. Logan gave a lopsided smile. "Evolution is the slow change of a living organism over many thousands of years into a new and different kind of organism. Do we all know what an organism is?"
Ted put his hand up, "It's an animal, right?"
"Or a plant," nodded Rogue, "It's a living thing. Very good, Ted. The exact nature of evolution is still debated today, but the basic process is the same. It starts when two living things come together to make a baby - or what scientists call 'offspring'. Do you know what happens when that happens?"
A few of the children blushed and giggled, and Sally put her hand up.
"The lady gets fat!"
Rogue smiled and nodded, "Yeah, but that's after the very important moment that is responsible for a thing called 'mutation'. Now, when any two organisms bond to make offspring - they mix up some cells."
Ralph frowned, "What's a cell?"
Rogue swallowed, thinking a little. "Well - we're all made up of them. They're very tiny things that make up our body, and there are different kinds of them. There are cells for the skin, cells for your muscles, and you stomach, and your eyes and your heart and - this is very important," She lifted a finger and looked each child in the eye, "For making offspring."
A little understanding seemed to dawn on the children.
"Now, for the moment we'll talk about animals like us, that we call the mammals. Do you all know what a mammal is?"
"It's like my cat," said Ted sagely.
"Very good. We're mammals too. That's why we have hair, and why we breast feed our babies. Inside all the females of the mammals, there is an organ - an organ is like your heart or your stomach or your liver - there's an organ called the uterus."
"That's where the babies are made," said Stephanie.
"Exactly, well done, Steph," Rogue said, obviously pleased the girl was open to the experience of learning about evolution, "A part of the uterus is..." Rogue sighed, "I'll draw a picture for you." She dug around the small bag of activities she'd been given by Geordie and pulled out a black pen and a black drawing block. She scribbled down a vaguely 'Y' shaped blob, with two frilly ends with round ovals attached to them. She showed the group. "This - roughly - is inside all women. The baby grows
here-" She pointed to the centre of the uterus, "Aaand the special cells that help make a baby are grown here -" She pointed to the ovals. "They're called ovaries. Now, when a baby is made, these cells bond with cells from a man."Ralph raised a hand, "Where do they come from?"
Rogue looked to Logan, blushing a little, and Logan smirked.
"Go on, Dr. Quinn," he said, "Tell 'em all about it."
Rogue cleared her throat, narrowing her eyes a moment at Logan, "They come from the male sex organs."
Stephanie blushed, looking uncertainly at Sally.
"Um - they come from the testes," Rogue said, scribbling a vague drawing of a penis and testicles on the drawing pad, and poked at the testes, "Right there. When these cells come in contact with the special baby-making cells I told you about earlier, something really amazing happens." She flipped over the page eagerly to a new clean sheet, drawing two cells, "They begin to combine information on how to build cells. This information is in something called chromosomes. Sometimes, these little bundles of information organize themselves wrong, or they get muddled, and the information tells the cells to make the offspring different. As a result, the offspring comes out different from it's parents."
"Is that how mutants are made?" asked Ralph.
"Yes," nodded Rogue, "Such offspring are called 'mutants'. See, this has been happening to all animals and plants since life began on our earth. It's how we all changed from tiny cells in the water to the complicated animals we are today. Over each generation, things changed in the living things on earth, till they became what we know them as now. It's all got to do with something called 'natural selection'. It's based on the premise that the strongest animals survive to make more offspring. You all following me okay?"
The kids nodded back at her. Logan held up a hand.
"Oh uh - I think I'm a little unclear about what the testicles are for-" He broke into a snigger as Rogue scowled at him, slapping him playfully. Ted shook his head at Logan.
"You should have been listening!" he scolded. Rogue shook her head and sighed.
"Okay okay. So - we got changes in the special cells that make up the offspring - they're called sex cells - and these changes make the baby different from the mother. Then we have 'Natural Selection'. Now, sometimes when the offspring is different from the parent, it ends up that the offspring is changed in a way that it's easier for it to survive that the parent. Say, an animal was different from it's parent in the fact that it had stripes on it's fur, so it could hide in the grass better. It made more babies than the other animals, and so those babies were striped too. And those striped babies survived better than the other animals which bred with those babies, and all the animals eventually - after thousands of years - ended up with stripes too. From that, from an animal with no stripes, to an animal with stripes - a new kind of
animal was created. That's evolution."Jeremy frowned, "That's complicated."
Rogue laughed, nodding, "Yes it is - but it's the way we all began, Jeremy."
"And that's how mutants happened..." said Ralph.
"Yes," Rogue said, "What's happened with our kind of mutants - people like me - is still a bit of a mystery. See, it's supposed to take thousands of years for this change to happen, yet mutants like Logan and I have existed since the early 1900s. A lot of people are scared of mutants, because they think that we'll get rid of 'normal' human beings. These people haven't read many books - you know why?"
The children shook their heads.
"Well remember me telling you about those striped animals?"
Now they nodded.
"The animals that weren't striped didn't suddenly disappear, and it's not good for the survival of the animals for them to do that. They all made babies together, and the stripes were soon shared by all the animals of that kind. Human beings will survive, and it's been theorized that one day, all humans will have a mutant power of some kind, that it'll be normal."
Jeremy looked scared, "Do they have to have claws?"
Rogue smirked, "Well no. If we make sure Logan doesn't make any babies, then there won't be any with claws, no."
The children didn't really get the joke, except Max who smiled and tugged at the grass as his shoulders shook in a quiet chuckle.
~~~~X~~~~
Jubilee didn't like children, it was something everyone knew. There was a time when she would baby-sit for five bucks an hour, and she never wanted to relive those days again. Right now she was sure she was going to be one of the rare cases of 20 year olds dying from cardiac arrest.
"You're a BOOGERHEAD!" shouted one child, tumbling over another, and Remy LeBeau growled.
"You both be de boogerheads!" he said, pulling the kids apart, "Why you behave like dis?"
"Cause you suck," snarled one little kid. Remy looked to Jubilee.
"You think he be a long lost relative of Wolverine?"
Jubilee groaned, "Probably. We all know what a slut he is."
One girl looked up at Jubilee with wonder, "What's a slut?"
"That's RUDE!" gasped another child, and the little girl blushed.
"It's nothing, never mind - I taught you about evolution, you saw my damned powers now shut the hell up!"
The little girl's lips quivered, "You're mean..."
"No, I'm stressed," Jubilee said, "There's a difference." She looked to the worksheet in her hands and sighed. "Right - tigers. We're going to see the tigers. Up - all of you - up!"
Remy jumped to his feet and pulled Jubilee up after him, the two young boys at odds still nudging and scowling at each other.
"Ah swear," growled Remy, "If you two don' stop wid de t'eatrics I'm gonna throw you in wid de tah-gers m'self, eh?"
The two boys stared at him quietly.
"Don' make me bring out de aces, kids."
They quivered, remembering the dramatic display of his 'gift' and they nodded frantically.
"Yes Mr. LeBeau!"
Remy straightened, looking to Jubilee and waving an arm in front of him. "After you, mon chere."
She fluttered her eyes at him thankfully and sighed, "Right. Let's go."
~~~~X~~~~
The younger children milled about Rogue with intent enthusiasm, and Sally had a hold of Rogue's gloved hand, stroking it gently, sometimes leaning her head on it. He could see the care in the girl's movements, like she was sorry for Rogue's 'gift'. Sally had asked Rogue at length about it.
"Can you touch anyone at all?"
"Nope."
"Not even for a second?"
"No."
"Don't you miss it? Touching people?"
Rogue had looked sad that moment. "All the time."
Logan squeezed her shoulder then, sneaking a light kiss to the back of her head while the children were preoccupied with the seals throwing themselves about in their little sanctuary. He'd thought he'd been stealthy enough to not draw attention to the gesture, but as he turned he saw Max, leaning against the glass of the enclosure, narrowing his eyes at him. He could just hear Jubilee cooing 'busteeeed' in his mind. He had to stop finding himself around that woman, her bizarre behaviour was like a disease. He loped quietly behind Rogue as they moved on to the penguins, watching her bottom sway as the kids trailed behind her and cooed at the flipper-winged ornithoids dipping in and out of the water in the terrarium set up.
"Here's a good example of how evolution can change an animal. Penguins are birds, yet their feathers are smaller and oilier than that of birds that fly. They create a sheath to protect the fluffy, insulating downy feathers underneath."
Logan cocked a confused brow at Rogue. Since when the hell did she know so much about penguins?! Well - she was in college, and had passed all her classes in high school with flying colours - she was a smart little nickel. But still - penguins?! Rogue glanced up and saw the look on his face, and as she walked past on the way to the polar bears she smirked and said.
"I like penguins."
Go figure. He trailed behind the little group, and the only other person doing any trailing was Max. Logan was convinced of the severity of the kid's attitude, and curiosity bit at him as to what the hell was up this kid's ass. He loped next to Max, kicking the pebbled trail they were walking on.
"How bout you?"
Max glanced up with narrowed eyes. "Huh?"
"Penguins," he said, "You not listenin' to Marie?"
Max snorted, "I'm not as rapt about your girlfriend as you are dude."
Logan straightened. "She's not my girlfriend."
"Sure," he nodded slowly, "And those knuckles rubs are entirely necessary."
The attitude wasn't as quietly fascinating as it was before, and Logan scowled.
"Well you can shut up and come back to me when you've had a clear foot of adamantium embedded in your arm to pop out at the slightest loss of temper, eh?"
The boy grew quiet, eyes glued to the knuckles that were currently being discussed. He seemed curious, and clenching his jaw petulantly he gestured towards Logan's hands.
"How'd you get 'em?"
Logan glanced down to his hands a moment, rubbing them before stuffing them in his pockets.
"Dunno."
Max's brows twitched down. "Fine - don't tell me then."
Logan let the boy skulk ahead of him after that, wondering why the kid was such a bad tempered shit. People were generally shits for a reason. Logan's was the fact that he couldn't remember his life, bar twenty shithouse years on the road. That would be enough to make anyone want to tell the world to go get fucked, but a kid - what did they have to be angry about? They collected cheap crap toys, they watched bad television, and listened to even crappier music.
Suddenly the reasons for being such a bad tempered child were a little too numerous.
~~~~X~~~~
"I swear to fucking God, I'll never ever booby-trap the men's lockers in the gym with fish-oil pills ever again I swear I swear just don't make me go through this - please!!"
A little boy tugged on the girl's sleeve, whimpering. "I wanna see the snakes!"
Jubilee clenched her teeth, "I - KNOW. I don't."
Remy was in the toilets. The children wanted to see the snakes. Jubilee hated snakes with a passion ever since the one time she was forced to leave civilization for a camping trip, she stepped on one and killed it. It's guts burst from the sides before the thing had a change to hurt her, but the very sensation of those bones breaking and the squelching of the gizzards under her heel were enough to have her wretching all over again.
Little Timmy didn't seem to understand that. Jubilee paced back and forth, gritting her teeth with a fierce scowl. Suddenly, a flash of long brown trench-coat fluttered past the corner of her eyes, and turning she saw the man stride from the men's bathroom, hitching his pants. She glared at him.
"Did you wash your hands?"
He blinked at her, "Eh? O' course I did!"
Jubilee nodded, "Right - want you to set a good example for the children."
Remy scoffed with disbelief, grabbing a kid's hand and dragging them onwards.
"We go see de snakes," Remy said, "All of us, non?"
Jubilee shook her head thoroughly, "Non! I'm staying outside of that damned Snake House Mr. LeBeau!"
Remy spun on his heel, facing Jubilee with a straight look of no nonsense.
"T'ink about dis, ma chere," he muttered, voice curling softly around the accented words, "You stepped on de snake how long ago?"
Jubilee gulped, eyes locked to his moving lips that were only a couple of inches from her face.
"Ten."
"Ooh," he looked to the children around him, raising his brows and nodding at Jubilee while he pointed at her with a naked thumb, "Dix! Dix..." He clucked and shook his head, "Dese children - dey will no longer be afraid of de dark by dat time, ma petite. Hmmm? You don' have to be scared of de snakes anymore either."
Jubilee scowled, "I'm not SCARED of them - I'm disgusted by them!"
"Ya look scared to me!" announced one little boy who'd been a terrible thorn in Jubilee's side that day. Remy bent over, eyeing the boy with a smile and nodding.
"Ya know what I be thinkin' petit?"
The boy shook his head.
"I be thinkin' you're right-"
"Why you son of a-"
Remy frowned at Jubilee, clucking and putting a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder in front of him.
"D'ese are children, ma belle!"
Jubilee growled. Wonderful time to start playing the Good Baby-sitter.
"Now, don' you mind the chere, little one," he said, addressing the boy again, "She proud, non? Doesn't wanna admit she's scared. But it's okay..." He looked to all the kids, eying them meaningfully, "Bein' scared is smart. Bein' scared saves your life. Is how all dese animals live, eh? Ms. Lee live too - she's smart. But - she's lettin' dat fear dat made to protect her, to harm her." He stood up straight, meeting Jubilee's enraged glare, "Dat fear stop her from enjoyin' the day wit some cute kids."
A little girl next to Jubilee frowned up at her. "Why do you hate us so much?"
Jubilee's jaw dropped, and she immediately felt like an asshole. "I don't hate you... you just... you guys - you intimidate me."
"Wuz imnitedate mean?"
"In-tim-i-date," said Remy clearly through his mangled accent, "Is like - fear. She's probably scared you won't like her."
"I don't," said the little Wolverine-Clone, "She reminds me too much of my big sister."
Jubilee, after looking at the child with helplessly hurt eyes, sighed long. "Oh great." With a flap of her arms, she marched off on ahead, past the snake house, to a bench just past in on the path. Remy, with glinting red eyes, watched her go with a sigh. He looked down to the boy, shaking his head slowly.
"Dat not be de way to gettin' girls to like you, li'l one."
The boy shrugged, "I don't like girls anyway. Can we see the snakes now?"
Remy looked to the snake house, and spotted Jean and Cyclops leading their children in. With a press of his lips, Remy nodded, pulling the children along.
"Come on," he said, "Hurry."
"Why are we hurrying?!" cried the boy.
"Never you min'!" Remy said, bustling the children into the dark strange smelling room. The red-tinted glasses of Cyclops glinted in the light of the row of terrariums, and a perfect row of teeth in lush lips pulling to a smile greeted the Cajun.
"Hey... how're you handling the tykes?"
Remy groaned, "I be fine, mon ami, but Jubilee been havin' a few problems dealin' wit dem."
Jean, curling behind Scott to approach Remy, frowned.
"Really?"
Remy nodded, and Scott sighed.
"She's been fighting the 'little kid' image she's been slapped with for so long... maybe she's having trouble relating to the kids because of that?"
Jean shrugged, frowning, "Well, did anything happen to set any insecurities off?"
Remy just snorted.
"Man - dat little kid dere announced he didn't lahke her. And she refuses to come in here and I was an' idiot by tryin' to get her to."
Jean nodded, "Her aversion to snakes."
Cyclops looked to Jean, "She's scared of snakes?"
Jean shook her head, "No, not scared as such - disgusted. The very sight of them makes her want to vomit."
"Oh... she's scared..."
The telepath sighed. "Why is everything so black and white in the minds of men?" With that, she turned around, gathering the children towards the Tiger Snake cage. Remy fidgeted.
"So where is she now?"
"Outside," Remy said, "At the bench up the trail."
"She abandoned you?!"
Remy rolled his eyes.
"Non, non - she's jus' lettin' off some steam, mon ami. I was wonderin'..."
Scott tilted his head.
"Could you look out for the kids for jus' five secon's? I wanned to go make sure de chere be okay..."
"Sure Remy," nodded Scott, slapping a hand on his shoulder, "We'll bring them to you outside afterwards."
"Merci," Remy replied, bowing his head a little before sweeping out the door in a swirl of brown trench-coat.
~~~~X~~~~
The kids absolutely adored the gorillas. They pointed and cooed and thumped on the thick glass, squealing at them. Rogue had a lot of joy in telling little Stephanie that both Gorillas and people had common ancestors. Stephanie frowned.
"Does Mr. Logan have more dem ancestors than us?"
Logan merely glared at her, but Rogue smirked.
"Some would like to think so, Stephie."
Logan leaned in to Rogue as he walked past her to watch a mother gorilla with her baby, and whispered in her ear.
"You are so going to get it, missy."
Rogue giggled, kneeling down with Jeremy and listening to him explain to her exactly why his father must have been born from a gorilla himself. Logan sat down at the edge of the knee-high wall that lined the enclosure, the glass barring him from the rest of the rocky, leafy environment behind it. The mother and the baby behind the glass peered at him with something akin to curiosity, and the mother, with a black furry hand, padded at the class at him and cuddled her baby tight. Dear God, thought Logan, the gorilla is coming on to me...
"You know, that kid might be onto something about your ancestors."
Logan lifted a brow and looked behind him. "You askin' for a kick in the ass, kid?"
Max stood behind him, hands stuffed in pockets, eyes looking with mild amusement at the repor Logan had going with the female gorilla. The boy shrugged, pursing his lips with an wry smile.
"I doubt your boss Xavier would like that - ya know - you're supposed to be out here proving how well mutants and normal people get along, right?"
"He's not really my boss." Logan then tilted his head with a wince, eyeing Max, "What's with that 'normal people' shit anyway? Does Marie look abnormal to you?"
Max shrugged, "No. But we- you're - you're not normal."
Logan's glare never wavered. "What's normal?"
The brown eyes of the boy flecked with pain, and his lips twitched as he opened them, his words and voice too old, too filled with pain.
"It's what everybody else is - and you're not."
This only caused Logan to snicker, and leaning forward to the boy, he patted the boy's cheek with the back of his hand in a rough brotherly gesture.
"There's more of us than you know, kid."
Max flinched, scowled, and stalked off to the other side of the group. At this, Logan gave a triumphant smirk, till Max looked back to him.
Ohhh Logan, he thought, You really are an asshole.
Alienating the poor sod was not going to solve anything, he thought, and when they moved onto the chimpanzee enclosure, Logan pulled Marie to a side.
"Rogue, I'm a little concerned about that Max kid..."
Glancing to Max, Marie smiled brightly.
"Why Logan! We're not gettin' all paternal now, are we?"
He tilted his head with a simper, "Marie..."
With the use of her real name, Marie quickly caught that he was serious. She sighed, nodding.
"Raght, raght, I'm sorry. So - what has you so concerned?"
"I dunno," he shrugged, "First off - the attitude is all wrong."
Rogue nodded with a mockingly serious pout, "Oh yes... can't have someone else being a bad-ass around Mr. Logan."
"Marie..."
She sniggered again, nuzzling his sleeved arm as she laughed helplessly.
"Second - I think he's having some problems with this mutant deal."
She looked up, her laughter calming and she swallowed the last of her chuckles down. "Okay - okay. Look - why don't you try to talk to him a little more, hmm? He seems to like talking to you."
"He hates talking to me, what are you talkin' about?"
Marie smirked, "Well he hasn't said two words to anyone but you - so it looks like you're the one he likes the best."
Logan sighed, "Oh great."
~~~~X~~~~
