|
|
Pools of blood in an endless rain, I sleep in slumber but dream in pain ... Blood, raining down, down on me. Why? Why? Blood! Blood Ocean! Blood Sea! Deep Crimson Lake to red river then dark rouged sea. This is a dream! A dream indeed! It must me a dream! It must! I ... I ... I ... I didn't ... didn't kill them. They ... aren't dead yet ... but ... I ... am ... NO! I did not kill them! ... They killed themselves, they dided ... but not by me. Now I am ... I ... am ... tired ... tired ... tired. I ... I must sleep. I must accomplish a peaceful sleep. So to slumber I fall, at Morpheus' feet, may dreams that he giveth me be filled w/solitude and peace. Peace in death, or a death-like sleep. Peace in silence. Peace for me. Sleep ... sleep ... sleep ...
"Ring! Ring! Ring! BEEEEEEEP! BEEEE-"Ack! Now I must wake for today tis a school day. And how grumpy I shall be, I twas having such a sweet dream. Dreams of death and dreams of blood. Dreams of killing. The usual such. But why doth my subconscious be so kind? As to insist on not being the killer, and standing by. In truth I would have killed, and killed prodigally, for death is much gentler then the punishmnts they seek. Well anyways ... schizophrenia attack dream again! Must get ready for school ... school ... so ... many ... so many ... people ... people ... people ... a flock of plum and unsuspecting sheep ... where inside ... a wolf may hide ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
In the mirror I see my face, I see my snarl, the grimace, the hate. Cool water splashes w/icy relief, freezing the heat, brining in peace, alerting my eye, nose and lips, to the cold cold air in which I'm admist. So I look into the mirror and stare at my teeth, w/the ferocious grin of a lion's teeth. But then, I never liked cats that much, prefering the wolves, that hunt in cold weather for beweakened prey. Weak from the winter's snow and icy cold breath, ready for butchering, or perhaps a play. Romping around, toying w/prey, I would really enjoy such a game. But I'm off to school w/no time to play. Off to school ... today.
Breakfast ... a simple cup of orange juice should do. At lunch I'll eat more food. Fruit in the morning to instill energy for the rest of the day, and a heavier, more solid lunch that digests slowly, preventing afterschool hunger pangs. Car ... drive ... drive crash! Kill pedestrians! And grind them to make clay for an alter ... but no, the common rules of today prevent me from doing so, hindering most forms of aggressive play. So I scratch all homicidal thoughts and continue on my drive, utterly eventless drive though this boreing and tastesless day.
Must ... wait for ... bell ... before class ... before ... school starts ... must bottle up ... all ... all ... all ... homicidal urges ... homicidal thoughts ... homicidal feelings ... tendencies ... and ways ... school time ... no play. Early morning last minute homework rush time! Write! Write! Write! ... but then ... I still have half an hour before the bell ... and not much homework. Perhaps I should draw ... artistic reflections ... as a relaxing outlet for homicidal cravings. So I shall draw, befor the homework, must use self-therapy to relax ... school equals no killing ... no fun ... no play ... not today ... not ever ... must work. So draw, sketch ... let out ... feelings ... slowly ... ... ... Draw people ... violence ... people impaled ... people in pain ... people suffering various torturous ends in a barren landscape emminating waves of death, destruction and decay w/a sky marred w/mists of blood either dry and parched w/a harsh sun, or a solemn and brooding endless rain ... draw ...
Bell ... class ... sleep ... sleep ... exhaustion seeps deep into my boedy, dimming my nerves, relaxing my muscles, ladening my bones w/deposits of sand, the sands of sleep. Teacher is lecturing ... but the lecture ... is ... useless ... must ... sleep ... sleep ... sleep ... sleep. Shall Morpheus bring me gentle dreams, or, perhaps, the usual blasts of turmoil ... but I shalll not quiver in anguish, for those dreams are normal for me. They tell me ... that my dreams ... help me ... live up to my name. But perhaps there is meaning deeply embedded in my subconscious mind ... can not ... concentrate ... the screaming has begus ... I recognize this one.
Fade ... let the wisps of this dream disintegrate, fall apart ... falll into the void ... absorbed by its hunger ... more shall come this way. Now, awaken ... resist the attraction of the black hole ... pull out of this sleep ... now or it shall be an endless slumber ... awake! ... !! The light! So bright it be, bright enough to sear through a death heavy slumber! The piercing light! Burns my eyes! Bell ... class over ... walk out ... just look out at the floor and the light won't be as strong. Look at the floor ... seek out the shadows ... relax in the darkness ... hide from the burning daylight ... and walk to the next class.
side notes
9/14
- you should notice my quotes from X Japan songs ... that is if you know them ...
- and ... i'm tired and must get to poems ... so stay tuned! ... i have ... i think it was 8 pages size 10 Arial font ... ... and it's still not finished yet ...
- ::at night:: ... note previous entry was at ... 3 am in the morning? ... was so braindead i forgot the time ...
| prose menu | Eventide |
|
main |
links |
 Read My Guestbook! | Sign My Guestbook! |
|
|
sketches |
poems |
|
updates |
diary |
